Can you say that you know all there is to know about your partner?

@jugsjugs (13045)
October 2, 2009 5:57pm CST
I do not think we will ever know all there is about anyone, as lately i have learnt more than i wanted about my partner and what i found out i was not and am still not happy about,what do you think?
1 person likes this
19 responses
@doormouse (4619)
2 Oct 09
i thought i knew most things bout my partner,but over the last couple of months he's been popping out for the odd hour,saying he's going up town,when i ask what for he just says,nothing of any interest to you,or just got stuff to do,i always tell him where i've been,i can't understand why he can't do the same
1 person likes this
@Rite17 (773)
• United Kingdom
2 Oct 09
if u want to know ur partner get to know EVERYTHING. Dnt just take them for face value as the shock could be bad! And if marriage could be on the cards u DEFFO dnt wana have suprises!! But you will always find out more about them as the yrs go by.. Iv been with my fiancefor 5yrs and still finding out more about him and he shocks me aswell!! And I seem to be changeing as we grow together and I shock myself!! So you will never know EVERYTHING but know the foundations and the little 'bricks' will come and be added to the foundations you have built ur relationship on..
1 person likes this
@spalladino (17925)
• United States
3 Oct 09
I think that people are complex...that you have to take the good with the bad...and that on one is perfect. You want a challanging relationship? Try understanding a Viet Nam vet with PTSD who lost his wife to cancer after 32...or 34 depending on how he tells it...it of marriage. My husband is very complex. He is not perfect, never has been but then again, neither am I. So, I don't look at who he was...what he did...how he lead his life. I look at who he is now. I know about his regrets, his insecurities, his hopes and his desires. All in all he is a good man...and all in all I am a good woman although I, too, carry my own baggage.
@kara18 (135)
3 Oct 09
I can't help but agree to this. You're right Spalladino, we all have our good and bad sides. We make mistakes in the past, and sometimes, this is what we usually hide from the people we choose to love, because we're at times afraid that we might lose the person that we love because of that baggage. My thoughts can only say, that you might want to focus on what you feel first then try to put yourself in his/her shoes. Try to understand, and be open about what you feel about it. My guess is the only way to resolve this is for both of you to talk and listen to each other to resolve is sensitive issue. Hope everything goes well.
@twoey68 (13651)
• United States
2 Nov 09
I doubt there's anyone that can say they know absolutely everything about their partner. We also need to keep in mind that everyone makes mistakes in their lives...I know I have. It really depends on whether the things you don't know are serious enough to break up the relationship/marriage. [b]!!Happy Turkey Day!! ~~AT PEACE WITHIN~~ **STAND STRONG IN YOUR BELIEFS**[/b]
@happy6162 (3011)
• United States
5 Oct 09
I am sure they are things about my partner that I do not know. As there are things about me he does not know. Most people tell their partners about themselves when they were young but never tell them everything about when they were growing up.
@climber7565 (2579)
• United States
4 Oct 09
well that maybe true, hence why it is important to get to know the person and invest time and true efforts at learning and communicating with that person before you get involved. Something don't need to be revived after the fact and the past should be left to rest. Its the present that matters and if you are not happy with the present then rest secure the future won't be bright, so think and act on that, stop thinking you could change the person or the person will change for you and cut your losses.
@cripfemme (7715)
• United States
3 Oct 09
I wouldn't say I know everything about anyone on Earth except myself. As far as partners go I tend to enjoy it if they have a little part of themselves that they keep to themselves. I don't need to be involved with every aspect of the person I'm with. I think if someone really wishes to tell you everything about themselves it gets kind of creepy. I think after a while I would just say "Shut up."
@angelajoy (1839)
• Philippines
3 Oct 09
Although I know my partner really well, I don't think I'll ever get to know him 100% because first, I can't even get to know myself completely and second, I can't read my partner's thoughts, and his thoughts are a vital part of his being. But I'm trying to learn as much as I can about him, and I hope he's doing the same with me too.
@savypat (20246)
• United States
3 Oct 09
You are right, in fact we hardly know everything about ourselves. Just when we think we are secure in our knowledge we find that all of us have hidden agendas. Our motives are never as pure as we would like to think they are. Life is about constant lessons. Everyone deals with these.
@Shr416 (27)
• India
3 Oct 09
I don't think anyone can know all there is to know about their partner. Basically, unless your partner is completely honest with you, you will never know, will you? And most people have secrets to hide, which they don't want to divulge, so there might be nasty surprises you might have to face up to!! I guess its just the way it is with most people!! Personally, I believe in sharing all important and vital information upfront. But, I know a lot of people don't!!
@much2say (40204)
• United States
3 Oct 09
You're right - one can't know absolutely everything about a person. As for your partner, if what you learned about is something about the way past before you ever met this person, just remember it's history that made the person that you know today. We can't change something that happened in the past. I can't say I know everything about my husband, but I think I know more about him than he does about me (we joke about that every once and a while as I am a very complex person). We knew each other since we were 18 years old . . . and now that we're in our 40's, we've had a lot of alone time to get to know each other pretty well (family and kids happened later on in life for us). Admitedly, there are some things he did before we were "together" that I didn't exactly approve of - and at the time I found out I wasn't too happy. But there was nothing I could do - that was his life before me (and besides, we just do crazy things when we're young!). That was many years ago . . . and since then, we've built our lives . . . and knowing how he is NOW, that has canceled out any non-approving feelings I had about his past. I have no idea what you learned, but I hope it's something you can work out!
@kara18 (135)
3 Oct 09
I used to think that before I plunge into a relationship and totally commit myself to someone, I need to know the person first. I've had to long term relationships, had my share of pain.. I've learned that people change, their views, values & principles will change. I realized that you can spend and share the rest of your lives together, and the getting to know you stage will always be there. It becomes a challenge then if you're no longer comfortable & happy with the person that he has become, or knowing & accepting the person that he had been. I guess, then that it's important for you to find the time to look inward and be conscious if you're still ok with it..Be open to your partner with what you think and feel. As they say open and honest communication is the key to making relationships work... I wish you well!
@zoey7879 (3104)
• United States
3 Oct 09
Nope... Sure don't, nor do I have the desire to. I like the idea of still having a lot to learn as (hopefully, lol) the years pass :)
• United States
3 Oct 09
i know i don't i think its funny that some people think they know their partner i don't think theres a coulp that know every thing about the other.
• Philippines
3 Oct 09
even with years of marriage and living together, i believe there are still "little secrets" that are privileged to be kept by each partner from one another. i believe each partner has his own separate reasons and maybe by keeping them that way is the best thing to do to continue with the good harmonious relationship than breaking the marriage apart and hurting each other's feelings. i think it is better left unsaid and uncovered than hurting urself or the other partner. i think there is really no hard rule for this, surely it all depends on both of u who very well know how ur relationship stands.
@malamar (784)
• Canada
3 Oct 09
Okay Jugs, are you going to spill? What happened? Obviously from your post you are not very happy about what you have discovered. I would discuss this with you, but have nowhere to go from here. If it is something you would rather not share, could you at least give an idea of what kind of "secret" you discovered? But, barring that, you are right. It is sometimes impossible to know everything there is to know about another person - unless of course, he or she comes clean with you. Hope you only found out something that pi$$ed you off for a little while, and not something that cut much deeper.
@lelin1123 (15644)
• Puerto Rico
3 Oct 09
I totally agree with you that no one truly know their partner even after years and years of being together. There are usually some type of secret that someone is keeping from someone unfortunately. As far as I'm concerned the only person you can truly trust are your parents and yourself. Some parents of course not at all but for the most part you can trust them.
@erikmama (12929)
• United States
2 Oct 09
I think that there is always part of yourself that you never reveal to anyone else so you can never truly kow everything about your partner. It may be something they done in the past they are ashamed of , how many people they have been with, etc.
@Opal26 (17690)
• United States
2 Oct 09
Hey jugs! I'd say that you are not alone! I have been with my partner for a little over two years now and alot of the things that I know about him are not good! We live together and I still don't trust him! He has alot of secrets still! I don't think I will ever trust him completely! He thinks he can fool me and get over on me, but I am always way ahead of him! I put up some of his crap, but I only do it because I have my own reasons! Sometimes people do things for different reasons! I know that I do! So my boyfriend isn't fooling me one bit! I will always be smarter than him and two steps ahead of him!