The things people do

@maximax8 (28249)
United Kingdom
October 5, 2009 11:29am CST
A lady got married and had three children. She became bored with her husband and had an affair. She was devastated when she got pregnant. She told her husband and he demanded that she had an abortion. He had explained if she wanted a baby he could get her pregnant in the future. The lady felt scared of losing her husband so she had her baby aborted. What do you think of the people's actions in this true story? Was it fair on the baby that he or she was aborted? Do you know of any wife or husband that has said something nasty?
1 person likes this
17 responses
@miamilady (4924)
• United States
5 Oct 09
"What do you think of the people's actions in this true story?" I think that people are human and sometimes make mistakes. I think that life is a lot more complicated than something that can be summed up in one paragraph. I feel bad for all of them. They are ended up in a very difficult situation. Although I am pro-choice, I think it's sad that a baby was conceived and that difficult decision had to be made. I can understand why the husband wouldn't want to raise another man's baby. I can understand why, if the wife chose to stay, agreed to having the abortion. I just hope they can get past the pain and forgive eachother and move forward IF that is what they choose to do. "Was it fair on the baby that he or she was aborted?" Fair? Probably not. But I don't believe that fetuses are necessarily "babies". Sometimes life isn't fair. Sometimes people have to make very difficult decisions. It's not for me or anyone to judge another person. "Do you know of any wife or husband that has said something nasty?" I'm not sure if that was what you meant to ask. I know LOTS of husbands and wives who say nasty things. I think it's fairly common where I live. I think that's part of the problem with marriages these days. People forget that a very important part of being in relationship is mutual respect. If two people can't treat eachother with respect, things will start to fall apart.
1 person likes this
@wmraul (2557)
• Bucharest, Romania
5 Oct 09
I think this is the most ellegant ballanced answer this disscusion can get. Banzai, miamilady !
@maximax8 (28249)
• United Kingdom
6 Oct 09
I have given you the best response Miami Lady. Many thanks for your comprehensive and excellent response. I also hope that the couple will get past all that pain. It will be great if neither of them make anymore serious mistakes. I don't like to judge but discussing is valuable.
@Bradpete (822)
• Philippines
6 Oct 09
She deserved it! Have a great day!
@mipen2006 (5528)
• Australia
5 Oct 09
This is an example of a very sad situation, where both the adult players have only thought of themselves at different times. In my opinion, the woman should have had the baby, and then both could have decided its future. Keep, or put up for adoption. If they both had hearts, they would welcome it into their family.
• United States
5 Oct 09
If they both had hearts?? The poor guy just had his ripped out of him and then to make it worse shes pregnant? If she really wanted the child she could face the consequences of her actions and leave her husband. But he should in no way be expected to 'accept' this baby into his own life. He was not wrong at all only the woman was.
2 people like this
@wmraul (2557)
• Bucharest, Romania
5 Oct 09
@ phoenix
@mipen2006 (5528)
• Australia
5 Oct 09
If she left him, for her mistake, where would that leave her other childrem?
• Australia
5 Oct 09
She was in the wrong for cheating on her husband but personally I think the choice to have the baby should have been up to her. If he loved her enough to forgive her for her indiscretions surely he can forgive her to want to have that child. I do know of a friend that was put in sort of the same position, they had been together for 3 years and had taken a break for 6 months or so. He visited her for christmas and found out that she was pregnant to another man she had been seeing. No one knew she was pregnant just a couple of her closest friends but he threatened her that he would tell everyone and bring shame onto her family if she did not go back to him. She packed up her life and moved 12 hours away to be with him and he demanded that she have an abortion, which she did. In the end she ended up hating him so much that she did not care about her life anymore and losing that baby had sent her into a downward spiral. That was almost 2 years ago and she is a different person now - like there is no soul in her body.
@wmraul (2557)
• Bucharest, Romania
5 Oct 09
And this mean that the guy is responsible and guilty ? Is him to be blame because SHE was a butterfly going from flower to flower ? However, you pointed out very clear: SHE decided to COVER the lie and shame .. liars and cheaters end like this. I have no simpathy for her. Yet in this particual case I also don't have anything good for him too. He should have know that ;love by force is not possible and that a blackmail will end up bad for one of them or even both ..
• Australia
5 Oct 09
I agree with you. It's a shame how some people end up though. I would like to think that in situations like this that the people involved learn their lesson. For life is too short to have it filled with secrets and lies. I would rather laughter and love.
1 person likes this
@wmraul (2557)
• Bucharest, Romania
5 Oct 09
Unfortunately some (50% of them ?) never learn ..
@ayenacsi (911)
• Philippines
5 Oct 09
It is just as you said, the things people do. In this situation, there is a victim and sadly a baby had to be aborted because of men and women who are only human and make terrible mistakes. The world will never stop of hearing this kind of stories and it is such a sad state. And I wouldn't want to know anyone who would do such a thing. There are many options or choices they could have made and done, and sadly a life was lost because of wrong choices.
@maximax8 (28249)
• United Kingdom
6 Oct 09
Hi there Ayenacsi. Yes, I also think of the baby as being the innocent victim in all of this. One of my friends thinks a baby chooses his or her parents. I think adoption or fostering is much better than abortion. Abortion is wrong and so is having an affair. Thanks for your wonderful response.
@ayenacsi (911)
• Philippines
8 Oct 09
Hello raul ! We all have our opinions on that and I respect your opinion and understand what you want to say and that is your opinion.
@artistry (4154)
• United States
5 Oct 09
...Hi maxiax8, I would assume that the woman knew who the father of the child was, if so, them would not the father of the child have rights as to whether to abort the fetus or not. This would be his child, not her husbands and how could another man have a right to decide that someone else's potential child should not be born. I also don't know if there is a law governing such a case. This is problematic to me. Now, if the real father does not know that the woman is pregnant, then there is nothing he can do about it. This is, I think a clear case for the need for individuals to use birth control and not be so irresponsible. Second observation, if the husband now goes out and cheats, what can the wife say, in addition, if the husband gets another woman pregnant, if he does cheat, do you think he will ask the woman to get an abortion, no, I think not, it will be his child and he will more than likely want the baby to be born. Take care.
@wmraul (2557)
• Bucharest, Romania
5 Oct 09
Please, no offense .. can you read now what you writed as if was not you who writed and still agree ? Because to me seems at least a nonsense .. the lover is the one who have the right to decide for or against abortion while the child will belong (legal, time invested, money, education, love and care) to ... legal husband ? If you say yes, please would you be so kind to take 7 of the 12 puppies my female dog have with your male dog and please raise them until they die .. Technicaly is the same as what you writed above ..
@artistry (4154)
• United States
5 Oct 09
...wmraul, the child, if the father of the child is the woman's lover, would go to the biological father, if he didn't want the woman to have an abortion. Why would I expect the husband to raise the child, if he didn't want it to be born in the first place, please. He didn't want it, why would he raise it. No offense, but ask me if you don't understand my premise. And no, you keep your dogs. :o). I like cats.
1 person likes this
@maximax8 (28249)
• United Kingdom
6 Oct 09
Hi there Artistry. Thanks for your very interesting response. Sometimes birth control can fail and it is does it can mean a lady gets pregnant when she didn't intend to. The lady had the choice of what she did with the baby she got pregnant with and she knew her lover was the father.
@Ravenladyj (22937)
• United States
6 Oct 09
Though I am Pro Choice I personally dont think that this was fair to her...but keep in mind IMO this WAS NOT HER CHOICE not really..I mean yes it was to a point but she was also cornered...Granted she DID make the choice to cheat, AND to cheat and NOT use protection...but for the husband to give her an ultimatum like that wasnt fair..for lack of a better way to word it (its early cut me some slack here) Now if it were me in her shoes I'd have told him to hit the bricks..obviously something was goin on in her marriage to make her cheat in the first place right...so if I wasnt happy in my marriage to the point that I would cheat on my husband AND take the massive various risks by not using protection THEN have him try and put me in a position like that I'd have definately told him to bugger off.. I am totally Pro Choice BUT NOT Pro Abortion by any means....this situation IMO wasnt reason enough to abort...but thats just me ya know..
@maximax8 (28249)
• United Kingdom
7 Oct 09
Hi there Raven Lady. I think that you have said something very important here "she was cornered". She certainly was and I feel sorry for ladies that are pushed into having an abortion. Sometimes birth control is not 100% effective. Thanks for your wonderful response and discussing what you would do if you were in her situation. Yes, it is hard to imagine being in that situation.
@Bluepatch (2480)
• Trinidad And Tobago
6 Oct 09
So what about the poor baby in all this ? He or she was killed because the husband didn't want his wife to bring a new life into this world without him. What selfishness ! For heaven's sake ! Think about the baby ! That could be you or me ! What if our parents decided they didn't want us ?
@maximax8 (28249)
• United Kingdom
6 Oct 09
Hi Blue Patch. Yes, I am pro-life so I do feel that the baby was an innocent one that didn't deserve to die. Indeed that person could be any of us. I agree that people should think of the baby.
@Archie0 (4669)
6 Oct 09
[i]Hello maximax, well forget about the baby but how couldnt the husband feel anything.I wonder why he wasnt in red angry face when he heard that his wife slept on someone elses bed, and about the baby it is really sad they she being mother of 3 children she still had the heart to abort the baby. I feel bad when people find betrayal of trust and feelings so easy and casual, for me marriage is something which is pure feeling and its the last man on earth whom i can love and call as mine. Other than my son for me.[/i]
@maximax8 (28249)
• United Kingdom
6 Oct 09
Hi Archie. I imagine that the husband was very angry when he heard his wife admit she had been having an affair with another man. He must have felt even more devastated when she found out she was pregnant with her lovers baby. I have three children and I wouldn't ever have an abortion.
@winiepu (42)
• United States
6 Oct 09
I can't imagin her husband could stand his wife's behavior. I think this is the worst outcome. Killing a baby, at the same time their relationship would be covered by the negative feeling forever. It is so bad.
@maximax8 (28249)
• United Kingdom
6 Oct 09
Thanks for your wonderful response. I also think that the worst outcome is the abortion which killed the innocent baby.
@wmraul (2557)
• Bucharest, Romania
5 Oct 09
Both are guilty. But SHE is to be blamed. He showed he really love her, respect her and didn't forget what he promissed to her on wedding day ... She is a b1tch and maybe she will understand the real meaning of the words "sacrifice" ... "commitment" ..
@maximax8 (28249)
• United Kingdom
6 Oct 09
The lady was wrong and the man acted in response to her wrong doings. But was it really right for her innocent baby?
@sid556 (31005)
• United States
20 Oct 09
People often say horrible nasty things to each other in times of troubles. I do kind of get where this man was coming from but I think it was harsh of him to order her to abort the child. Still, she has a mind of her own. She did not give it a 2nd thought when she sacrificed her marriage to have the affair to begin with. But she is willing to sacrifice her child to save the marriage now? And were they 100% sure that the child was not the husbands? This marriage has much deeper problems than another man's baby.
@whyaskq (7532)
• Singapore
7 Oct 09
That's life when people are not contented. It is only when a choice need to be made that people go crazy. Many do not want to face the truth or consequences. A messy lifestyle begets a messy decision making which distinguishes between a good and bad decision.
@bhanusb (5709)
• India
7 Oct 09
The husband is really a nasty person. The lady should have go to the court and demand compensation. The baby should not be aborted.
@edxcast (1169)
• Ecuador
6 Oct 09
I think both were wrong. The woman was really wrong. Marriage isnt a light thing were you just get bored and get an affair and do whatever you like. That is not what marriage is about. Marriage is a compromise that should last until their last days. Even if the couple have some problems and they fight they should stick together no matter what. If not then why did they get married at first? But what the guy did was even worse. He asked her to kill the baby!!.Yeah she accepted which was really wrong but she did it because of him. That doesnt make her less guilty though. It´s a shame people dont see the horrible thing that abortion is.
6 Oct 09
I don't think the husband was being nasty - I think if it was the other way around and my husband had an affair and got somebody pregnant I would be happy if the other lady had an abortion! Although saying that I don't think I would stay with my husband if he had an affair in the first place!
• United States
6 Oct 09
While I don't think the husband was wrong for asking the wife to get an abortion, simply because he was asking out of anger and emotion, I think the wife was wrong to have one. Now, not only does she have the guilt of dealing with the fact that she cheated on her family (I think an affair affects the whole family, not just the spurned spouse), she now has to deal with the guilt from having an abortion. And if they are religious, then there is the whole issue of how her sins will affect her in the afterlife.
• Malaysia
6 Oct 09
In the first place, the woman is playing with fire.She knows the high price she must pay if she was caught. Now she is pregnant. She could easily lose her husband and family. I am surprised that the husband still wants her back. But things wil not be the same, the trust is gone. Even if they are still together, I doubt anything would happen when the bedroom lights are switched off. This damage will be long term and it will not heal the pain and hurt the husband endures. Her stupidity will cost her more than she bargained for.