Do people tke advantage of you?

@ausnikki (4055)
Brisbane, Australia
November 14, 2006 4:13am CST
I have found that with my caring nature people have taken advantage of me in the past.I used to be only too willing to help people out as much as I could,until I had a couple of "friends" use me.I have had to toughen up a far bit and not be quite so eager to help,don't get me wrong I am still willing to help people if I can but am not as trusting as I used to be.Has anyone had this happen to them?
2 people like this
34 responses
@_hope_ (3906)
• Australia
14 Nov 06
awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww how sad how could anyone do that to such a lovely caring person like you i have never met any one who has a heart as big as yours and i`m so lucky you didn`t shut me out i would of missed out on such a wonderful friendship that i don`t think i have ever known before or will ever know again i thank god that he has made our paths cross because without you my dear friend i would not be here today to be able to tell you this
1 person likes this
@ausnikki (4055)
• Brisbane, Australia
14 Nov 06
Thank you my dear friend,your frienship means the world to me.I never reject offerings of friendship,as you said I would have missed out on a wonderful friendship too.I think I more have a radar now that alerts me of people who will take advantage of me.I know for a fact my dear ,sweet friend that you would never do that!!!
@_hope_ (3906)
• Australia
14 Nov 06
there is no way of that ny dear friend i appreciate you too much
1 person likes this
@ausnikki (4055)
• Brisbane, Australia
14 Nov 06
I know you do hope and I hope you realise how much I appreciate you too!
@isasice (2015)
• Iceland
14 Nov 06
I try not to let that happen but I have always been a yes person and have a hard time saying no when someone asks me to do something. I have made an effort to change that in recent years and I think that has helped. I don't like being taken for granted and a friend is not a true friend if he/she takes advantage of you.
1 person likes this
@ausnikki (4055)
• Brisbane, Australia
14 Nov 06
I couldn't have put it better myself,true friends don't do that
@isasice (2015)
• Iceland
16 Nov 06
We just have to be firm and say no when we think it's the right thing to do. I used to let my employers take advantage of me by letting me do a lot more work than I was getting paid for. I finally stopped working for them and started my own business so now I am the one who abuses my energy lol.
1 person likes this
@ausnikki (4055)
• Brisbane, Australia
16 Nov 06
Saying no is the hardest part,I have a real problem with that.I am getting better at it though.Good for you for leaving that job and starting your own business!I hope for success for your business!
• Singapore
14 Nov 06
well first of all it's v sad to hear that you are being used by ur "friends". i m too, in a way, being helpful by nature and many a times i do get used by some of those whom i have helped. in the beginning i was unwilling to help. however it was after a good friend of mine who told me that if because of a bad experience that you decide to stop helping and trusting others, then those who really need your help n trust will be the ones suffering. after that i have decided to continue helping others and if i meet another of those who takes me for granted, i will know that these are people whom u can don't treat as friends anymore. =)
@ausnikki (4055)
• Brisbane, Australia
14 Nov 06
Thanks for responding,I still help when i can but am a little more reserved
• Singapore
18 Nov 06
i guess it's best not to have reservations when it comes to helping friends. though it may hurt to realise that some people make use of you, but you do get to see who are the really good friends and these are ppl who will do watever they could to help you when you are in need isn't it?
1 person likes this
@ausnikki (4055)
• Brisbane, Australia
18 Nov 06
I guess that's true but once bitten twice shy,you know?
• Australia
21 Nov 06
big hug - big hug
It's sad that the world has become how it has nikki. People only have themselves to blame when they turn around and say that society today does not care anymore. Still offer help but only if they are genuine and don't offer amounts of money. If they are hungry give them a sandwiche. If they are cold go inside and call a shelter/refuge and show them which direction to take.
1 person likes this
@ausnikki (4055)
• Brisbane, Australia
21 Nov 06
Thank you for the hug merrymell,I really appreciate it.You have given great advise and I will definately do as you said!
@lilaclady (28240)
• Australia
14 Nov 06
yeh I know where your coming from, I should toughen up a bit I tell myself I am going to and then off I go again...I never learn...
@ausnikki (4055)
• Brisbane, Australia
14 Nov 06
I'm the same but had to learn to say no for my kids sake.
@ausnikki (4055)
• Brisbane, Australia
14 Nov 06
oh dear,please excuse my error in the subject line
@djbtol (5498)
• United States
21 Nov 06
I think many have experienced what you have. Whenever we reach out to help another with love and kindness, there is always a risk we will get hurt. It is natural to not like the hurt, yet if you do not forgive, the bitterness will change you in a negative way. It is not how we usually think, but do you realize that sooner or later every friend you ever have is going to hurt you. It is going to happen. Decide now that you will not let the hurt of a couple brief words or acts of unkindness be more important than a friendship. Hurt feelings should not be more important than a friendship either.
@ausnikki (4055)
• Brisbane, Australia
21 Nov 06
I do agree with you but when I say taken advantage of I really mean it.Opening your house to someone when you are a single mother is a big thing,but to then have that friend steal what little money you have and run up your bills and then move out leaving you penniless with two kids is unforgiveable!
• India
21 Nov 06
sometimes u do feel like that..when u acceed to whatver ur friends say..but then u have to think whether or not u are going out of way and helping them by taking the trouble urself..if thats the case..u should seriously think about saying no when u don't feel like doing something..sure its gonna have consequences and people would start saying things about u..but this is the time where u would differentiate between good friends and just friends...
@ausnikki (4055)
• Brisbane, Australia
21 Nov 06
That's true...I think it is time to differentiate between my true friends and just friends
• Nigeria
21 Nov 06
Yes, peole do take advantage of me but that does not deter me from doing good nor does it make me stop being the person I am. It does change your name or talents so forget about them. If you're looking for a world on a bed of roses then you must have a rethink!
1 person likes this
@ausnikki (4055)
• Brisbane, Australia
21 Nov 06
Believe me I am not looking for a bed of roses
@bayboy (989)
• United States
21 Nov 06
If You help people with all your time , you'll never accomplish anything for yourself!.. don't get me wrong it's not bad to help people.. but not all the time.. learn to be NO.. being ASSERTIVE is a very good attitude to have.. just my advice.. :)
1 person likes this
@ausnikki (4055)
• Brisbane, Australia
21 Nov 06
Thank you..that is great advise!
• New Zealand
16 Nov 06
I have been used too many times. Some people really don't care that they are hurting you... just as long as they get what they want in the end. Sometimes I feel like a paper plate, being used, eaten off of, then thrown away like garbage. I am definately not as trusting as I used to be because of this.
@ausnikki (4055)
• Brisbane, Australia
16 Nov 06
I know exactly how you feel Ally,that is a great analogy.Some people are just out for themselves and don't care who the hurt in the process.
• United States
14 Nov 06
Yes, it has happened to me loads of times. I'm still vunerable because I can't stop not caring about people, its my nature. But I have slightly toughened up a bit and watch out for the signs of "being used". I hate it when people use others to benefit themselves.
1 person likes this
@ausnikki (4055)
• Brisbane, Australia
14 Nov 06
I hate that too,there are so many users around these days!
@firelight (1858)
• Australia
14 Nov 06
no!!! im to head strong for that now
1 person likes this
@ausnikki (4055)
• Brisbane, Australia
14 Nov 06
Good for you firelight! That's the way you have to be these days
@ash6666 (819)
• India
14 Nov 06
beautiful - beautiful
there is nothing wrong in what u said, it happens normally to everybody who cares others feelings, like our friends calls us for dropping somewhere but when we ask they wont turnout..
1 person likes this
@ausnikki (4055)
• Brisbane, Australia
14 Nov 06
Thanks for responding
• India
14 Nov 06
Honestly, Some times.....cheat me
1 person likes this
@ausnikki (4055)
• Brisbane, Australia
14 Nov 06
Thanks for responding
@gabs8513 (48715)
• United Kingdom
26 Nov 06
Yes a lot of People have taken advantage of me and you would think that I would learn wouldn't you well I haven't I am still as soft and give all the time lol
@ausnikki (4055)
• Brisbane, Australia
26 Nov 06
You and me both gabs,I just don't want to change even though I have been taken advantage of.There are too many takers in the world these days.I refuse to be one of them!
@munmun (808)
• India
21 Nov 06
They did until I learned to say "no." It's not easy, but once you start, it's a very liberating experience.
@ausnikki (4055)
• Brisbane, Australia
21 Nov 06
I definately need to learn to say NO
@Undefeated (4792)
• Singapore
21 Nov 06
sometime i think.
@ausnikki (4055)
• Brisbane, Australia
21 Nov 06
Thanks for responding
@lingli_78 (12844)
• Australia
21 Nov 06
yeahhh..., i completely understand what you mean because i am the same kind of person as you... even until now... i hardly say no to people because i don't want to hurt them...
@ausnikki (4055)
• Brisbane, Australia
21 Nov 06
That is my problem too,I don't like to hurt people even if I know it's the best thing for me
@fianne (1059)
• United States
21 Nov 06
oh well... i am always abused, always had taklen advantage and taken for granted... man, i learned to fight then... you will not believe my whole story and this page will be all sure consumed. it is really hard to be have taken advantage by others... later i realized i need to love myself too and let others care for themselves. i just need to be neutral i guess... yeah, you are right, you don't need to help out a lot and not trust much or you'll get lost again... my lesson in life, don't let others rule your life and don't please anybody, let them accept you...
@ausnikki (4055)
• Brisbane, Australia
21 Nov 06
Thank you for that great response!I will definately take your advise
@brendalee (6083)
• United States
21 Nov 06
I can definately relate to your situation. I have a hard time saying no.
@ausnikki (4055)
• Brisbane, Australia
21 Nov 06
It's nice to know I'm not the only one.