harsh!!!!

@eLsMarie (4135)
Philippines
October 6, 2009 3:56am CST
i used to think that i wouldn't let myself fall for a guy who does have a child with another girl but it turns out that the person i'm loving now was turning to become a father. yesterday, a girl left a message in my facebook inbox claiming that her friend was pregnant and my boyfriend was the father. she told me in details that her friend became pregnant and my boyfriend was a coward because he didn't face all the needed responsibilities. i confronted my boyfriend and told me that there's a big possibility that the girl was really pregnant but he wasn't sure if he was really the father. i spoke to my ex boyfriend who also has a son and he told me that if i really love my boyfriend, i should accept the fact that he has a baby with his ex girlfriend because they weren't married and my boyfriend doesn't really love the girl. i asked the woman who left a message in my inbox if what's her name and all that because she's using my boyfriend's name in her facebook account but she refused to introduced herself. is she just fooling around or something?
5 people like this
14 responses
• Philippines
6 Oct 09
hello elsemarie, Looks like you're into another adventure again, when is it going end? i hope it's a happily ever after soon. well, i n this case the girl never dared to introduced herself, so who's the coward now? she would have talk to you face to face rather than in a face book where she can have the guts to say what ever she wanted to say. just dig in deeper before you can judge. the only proof there is DNA testing.
@eLsMarie (4135)
• Philippines
6 Oct 09
my gosh LetranKnight25 you know how much it cost right? hmmmMmp... tsk! you have a point there, at least i was a bit relieved. i just hope that the girl would reveal herself and avoid using my boyfriend's name as her email add and as her facebook account full name...
@eLsMarie (4135)
• Philippines
6 Oct 09
by the way, how can i say that my boyfriend was really in love with me? i think boys were very much good at pretending but i just want some answers with a guy like you... :D pleasssssssssssssse...
• Philippines
7 Oct 09
just talk to him, probably with a lie detector machine on the side. well, if you can't help doubting him just do the dna test thing.
• Philippines
6 Oct 09
Some people likes to create stories just to get the person they wanted. But since you're boyfriend said that he's not sure if he is the father, it means, they really had encounter with that girl. I'd like to know the timeline in this situation, because if it is within your relationship, your boyfriend is cheating he doesn't deserve you. I may be more deserving than him for you. Joke! If this happened before your relationship, you should carefully investigate and ask for that girl all the informations you need. You should ask your boyfriend too. You will then weigh all the information you gathered. But if your boyfriend is honest upon your investigation, then you should accept him.
@eLsMarie (4135)
• Philippines
6 Oct 09
the girl was only giving me advices that i should stay away from my boyfriend because he's not a good person but she never really revealed herself to me. i told her to tell me who she was but she refused... :( we became lovers last june 24, 2009 and he was single for about 6 months i think and he was informed that the girl was pregnant 3 months after they broke up. i was informed yesterday so is there really something?
• Philippines
6 Oct 09
As I understand, you are dating him for more than 3 months already. I think, the reason why he left that girl and move directly to you is because he already know that he has a baby. In review, you know this guy for only a quarter of a year and you did fall in love. Its hard but I think you should evaluate him more. Let go of him and let him settle the problem with his ex. This guy is still immature enough to face the consequences of his doings. Its a big slap to a girl if your boyfriend is thinking twice if its his baby. Observe, ask and evaluate are the better things to do now.
@eLsMarie (4135)
• Philippines
7 Oct 09
actually there's no need of evaluating him... :D we knew already that his ex is the one who's fooling around. i saw her profile and she put the university where she was studying and sad to say that girl was my boyfriend's girlfriend so many years back... what could have been her purpose?
• India
6 Oct 09
She might be fooling around or there might be something serious in this…you cant be quite sure. Its really yourself whom you have to face and clear your conscience before you move on further with your bf. Today he’s saying that he didn’t love the other girl, tomorrow he might say the same thing about you and leave you with a baby to look after. Are you ready and willing for that? Or would you rather take the risk and continue with your present relation and let the future take care of itself? Love is all very good but sadly, love cannot take care of our personal needs. For that we need caring people around us and we need to care for them too! If you feel that your bf is really a caring person and you genuinely love him, then his past should not matter. However, I would still adivse you to be cautious in your relation…its very easy for guys to walk out while we girls are stranded pregnancy and broken homes.
@eLsMarie (4135)
• Philippines
6 Oct 09
later he'll come over in our house and i will really confront him. i'm in the state of dilemma right now. i really don't have any idea on what to do except to confront him about this matter... i really find myself pathetic.
@irene3184 (902)
• Philippines
6 Oct 09
I think you must clear things first before doing an action. Clarify everything first and let your boyfriend tell you everything. The girl must give details about herself for you clarify things, if she is not capable to introduced herself maybe she is just making fun of you.
@eLsMarie (4135)
• Philippines
6 Oct 09
i hope that she's only fooling around... i asked her for so many times already of who she really was and all she can say was i would really be shocked if she'll introduced herself to me. if she was just fooling around, what could be her motive of doing this to me? :(
@hexeduser22 (5865)
• Philippines
6 Oct 09
It doesn't matter if your current boyfriend had a son in his past relationship if you really love him and your guy was honest enough not to deny anything and maybe he's telling the truth when he said he didn't really know about his ex being pregnant. Don't let your guard down maybe it's really her ex making up stories because she can't move on and get over with your guy. Also be weary of your boyfriend you cannot really tell at this point in time who's lying and who's not
@eLsMarie (4135)
• Philippines
6 Oct 09
i really hope that my boyfriend is telling the truth. the girl that was being referred to was my boyfriend's girlfriend before me. so i think she's really up to something negative or whatever...
@besthope44 (12146)
• India
29 Aug 10
Love is a great feeling which has to be expressed. If you find it true, never fail to convey, thats a tribute to the love in real.Yes am in true love and its a feeling of happiness life long.
• United States
9 Oct 09
well..if this was before your relationship,i would accept it. if it was during,that's a whole different matter. but i would suggest to him either way,get a paternity test.because if it isn't his,then she's starting trouble for no reason.
@iceydon (342)
• Philippines
7 Oct 09
Your boyfriend is the only one that could tell you the truth. If he really loves you he will not hesitate in telling you what is the real score. And if you really love your boyfriend you could understand what happened.It is hard to accept the reality but if that is the way for your loving heart to be intact then you might as well embrace it.And if you think you do not deserve it, you better pack up and let your boyfriend go. There is still lots of tomorrow ahead of you. "Smile though your heart is aching."
@dunamis1 (39)
• Canada
7 Oct 09
If this happened while you were in relationship is different than if it were before you were together. I say be brave and try to end relationship. If he really loves you he will make every effort to sort all the hear-say out also sort out with the other girl. Now if he is the father and does not admit then he CAN and may do the same to you sometime in the future since he does not care about anybody else but himself. If he takes responsibility for his actions then he is worth hanging on to and you will see evidence that he loves you.Evidence is, He will treat you like a princess to try and make up for hurting you.
@sid556 (31023)
• United States
6 Oct 09
She could just be jealous and trying to stir up trouble between you and your boyfriend. That is a possibility. Or she could be really pregnant. It is hard to say. Now did your boyfriend breakup with her before or after this news of her pregnancy? There are some girls that will cry pregnant when they are not in a silly ploy to hopeful win the guy back. If it were me in your shoes, I'd be asking my boyfriend why they broke up and who this girl is. That fact that she will not reveal who she is kind of makes me think that she is just stirring up trouble.
• United States
6 Oct 09
I guess if it were me, my decision would be based on how my boyfriend chose to deal with it. Is he planning to support the baby if it's really his, or does he plan to sign over his rights and let his ex raise the baby alone? No, it's not an ideal situation if the baby is his and the two of you continue your relationship, but it gives you an idea of whether or not he takes responsibility and also what kind of father he might be if that's a situation you are considering in the future.
• Philippines
6 Oct 09
els or marie what you prefer, Sorry for the guys that just like your boyfriends attitude I am not directly judging that you boyfriend is really of this kind but who knows he might or he might not... I am not in their side. This is what I should comment to them. They just play the weakness of a woman(sorry if womans don't agree with this). Every woman believe that they will met their prince charming and eventually bring them to the altar of marriage. So , she would do everything to make him happy even to the selling of her soul. He promise that if they would make love and crush the virginity of a woman... that he say they "love"?- I don't think so because he only wants to satisfy his own selfish cravings...then he would marry her. Then the poor woman believe him. But after 'they' get what they want the flesh of that woman... I would say,, then they will left her behind awful. I know all this agenda because I am also a Man. I understand what behind a selfish cravings of ours. I believe that if you dearly love a woman you should respect her, and dignify her by not touching her until marriage. No, I am not conventional but...I have my own principles.
• Philippines
6 Oct 09
wait, so when did your bf got the girl pregnant? ( assuming that he really is the father ).. Is it during the time that you were still together? or before that? If it was while you were still together, then that's a whole different story.. you should really ask him about it, and don't take any one-liner or nonsense answers.. tell him that he should tell the truth.. But if it happened before, there are things that you still have to consider.. If he is really the father, then why won't he take responsibility for it? what if that happened to you? would he run away, just like what he did to the other girl?.. Think about this long and hard, because it's during this kind of experiences that you will see what your boyfriend is really made of. Good luck in making your decision.
• Philippines
6 Oct 09
It may be true if your boyfriend admit to you that he see other girls beside you as most of the times you could not really follow your boyfriend whatever places he hang out. Nobody could know the truth better than your boyfriend itself if he already confess to you. Then, if their is doubt about the paternity of the baby it is best to talk personally with the girl to clarify all things between you and the third party. In cases you found it later that the girl is lying then your relationship could survives this kind of threat. Then, if your boyfriend is confirm truly as the father, then he must support the baby. It is up to you if you could still accept your boyfriend despite cheating on your back. It only proves that he could not be trusted and really have to be sorry to his foolishness. It may be hurting in your pride but the truth would be the one to set you free. If you could forgive your boyfriend for his mistakes then just go on with your relationship and makes the situation as an inspiration for both of you to keep both of you strong despite the challenges.