how do you handle undisciplined officemates?

Philippines
October 12, 2009 7:37pm CST
Undisciplined as in they are just new and they don't obey seniors, like me. The thing is, I am a friendly guy. Too friendly that I don't make a line with newly hired employees. I guide them with their work. I have laughs with them. I make work easy for them. I don't demand more than anything, just show up at work, do your work and that's it. Recently I have an encounter with a newly hired. He is nice but it seems he forgot that I am his senior and he can't just took me for granted. I reported the incident to our immediate supervisor. I am not a snitch. I just don't want not to be respected by newbies. How do you handle such office-mates.
3 people like this
15 responses
13 Oct 09
Well, actually respecting or disrespecting senior are things that be done by the heart of everybody. I don't think the rule for that does exist. Disrespecting us as a senior doesn't mean that they are undisciplined. Of course I have to admit, and I do admit that 'junior' SHOULD respect their seniors under every circumstance. But again, when it comes to career, everybody has his own philosophy, and respecting or disrespecting just choices to be chosen. =)
2 people like this
• Philippines
17 Oct 09
So, are you saying that it is okay to disrespect your seniors at work? Please enlighten me more.
• Boston, Massachusetts
13 Oct 09
Hi Ethan, If you are the senior staff let him realize that you are. Never let him bypass or disrespect you. Sit down with him and explore your expectations with each other to make the working relationship work. You have to establish a friendly but professional relationship. Don't expect too much from him as it relates to good manners and right conduct or proper decorum in the office. Let him see you as the role model somebody to look up to and when you call his attention he will believe you and follow you with respect. I am sharing this with you because this happened to me. It's really hard but once you make them see their fault and shortcomings and still let them feel your readiness to support them change and adjust, you will gain their respect.
• Philippines
16 Oct 09
Do I know you? Are you an employee in a broadcasting company here in the Philippines? Just asking. Though, thank you for a really nice advice.
• Boston, Massachusetts
16 Oct 09
I don't know if you know me personally but i am happy to share with you some of my thoughts and experience about your topic. I am not into broadcasting work but i am into trainings and social services. Good day and have a great weekend!
1 person likes this
• Philippines
17 Oct 09
Okay. You sound like a colleague of mine. Anyways, are you from the Philippines? What work are you into? Are you a boss in your company?
@sid556 (31006)
• United States
13 Oct 09
You sound like a great boss. I think maybe that from the start you need to tell them that you are really laid back and their job can be fun as long as they do a good job. You can be fun and nice but at the same time you need to right off the bat have a list of things that are not acceptable. Maybe if you wrote down a list and were prepared when you hired a new person. If they go against these rules then you should give them a reminder and a warning. If they continue....report them.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
15 Oct 09
Thank you for the compliment sid556. I think I can really be a great boss if I want to. I think I should re-strategize my drive on the newbies at work.
1 person likes this
@sid556 (31006)
• United States
15 Oct 09
You sound like a good person to work for.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
15 Oct 09
Thanks dude.
• Philippines
14 Oct 09
Well, young people working for the first time must be obidient because they are a bit shy and wanting to be absorb by their new environment. In your case, if they don't obey seniors, maybe you should ask first why they don't obey them. t maybe because the task you are giving them are supposed to be not their work. You should take into consideration theur job assignments before you judge them.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
17 Oct 09
Well, I think you have a point there but in any case, since I am older than him, I think he should respect me by that. What do you think?
13 Oct 09
You did the right thing! Not because your very kind with him, it gives him the opportunity to disrespect you. Of course, the fact that you're a senior, you really have to be respected and aside from that, you have to gain respect for helping him out. As you mentioned, you make things easy for him by guiding him. Well, for me at first, I don't mind office mates like that and if ever I get pissed already, I'll give him that look and tell him upfront that I don't like what he's doing. And after that, I won't be too kind on him though I'll still be kind to him sometimes.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
17 Oct 09
That's exactly what I'm doing right now. Being kind but drawing the line more boldly between my juniors. I am years ahead from them, I taught them what they know already in the office, I think I should be more respected by them.
@victorywp (3526)
• Malaysia
13 Oct 09
hi ethanonthemoon! i am now facing exactly the same thing as you do! 1) i am his senior & guide him in everything that he doesn't understand 2) i am friendly & don't draw a line with him 3) i have laughs with him & don't demand anything more 4) he took me for granted (expect me to do his job) but i did not report him to any of my superiors immediately. i talked to him nicely but he never listen. later, we had a lot of arguements & quarrels because of his disobedience. i scolded him many times but he behaved even worse to me. at one time, he even asked me to beat him if i dare. out of anger, i kicked his chair. i apologized to him later & hope that no more unhappy things starting the next day. he apologized back to me saying that it is actually his fault, not me. but the next day morning, he reported to my superior that i kicked his chair. my superior treated this case fairly & reported this matter to the management. later, the management decided to issue him a warning letter instead of me. he learnt about it right before the warning letter is issued to him. he quickly apologized to me & to the superior & to the management for his disobedience to me. i received his apology & also told the management to give him another chance. what i mean is that you have done the right thing. report to your superior before things gone bad. i regretted of not reporting the matter in the beginning. i thought i can handle this matter politely. sometimes, some people just won't listen if you are too polite.
• Philippines
16 Oct 09
Thank you victorywp for a very lengthy reply. Thank you.
@Capsicum (1444)
• United States
13 Oct 09
That's hard to answer ,it seems as if the new generation of workers are a new breed. If I where you ,I would have told him face to face.If you let this type of thing happen without resolution,it will continue.I see it all the time! Take your stand be friendly with coworkers,but keep yourself out of the loop so to say.If you have more authority then the others ,Friendships rarely work out .Be nice but don't befriend a college unless they are holding the same stats as you.Don't let others spoil what you have worked so hard for,After all you are there for the money.
• Philippines
15 Oct 09
Thank you for the reply Capsicum! I have said it to him face to face already.
@LadyMarissa (12162)
• United States
13 Oct 09
Telling on them will not necessarily get you respect. You have to earn respect. Since you admittedly go easy on them, then you give them plenty of guidance on their work, but NO guidance on respect. You did not express your need to be respected so he gave you what he thought you wanted. Maybe you need to rethink how you deal with the newbies. You can teach them & still expect to be treated with respect. Only you can decide how you can best handle it. It's different for everybody!!!
• Philippines
15 Oct 09
I think you are right LadyMarissa. Thank you for the advice. I think I should be more careful on what I say and do with them around.
@jndlponti (2413)
• Philippines
13 Oct 09
know what some guys really are not so sensitive. they thought maybe because you are too friendly, it is just okey for them to act that way to you. As if you are just of the same level. I really don't know how it is to guys, but for girls we could have a serious girl talk. That the other one won't really mind. By that we could tell the other one how we felt about what they did. And by that we could even tell them what we expected them to do. You could be just buddies, maybe, outside the work place. But tell him that once you are in the office or in your workplace, you are his senior and you demand respect.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
14 Oct 09
I have done that already jndlponti. I have talked to him and told him that. Thank you for the advice.
@shajerrl (311)
• China
13 Oct 09
maybe I don't disgree that you have reported this incident to your supervisor before you have communicated with this new hired. maybe he don't know that he have hurted you from his behaviour, he don't take you for granted unintentionally. i don't know what's the relationship between you and this new guy, you are his boss and he directly report to you? if yes, I think you can talk to him directly and tell him about your opinion for him. but if you are not his boss, I think you only need to talk to him as a old friend and remind him that you should respect the old guys as a new comer, let us to create a harmonious work enviroment...good luck.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
14 Oct 09
That's a very opinionated answer shajerrl. Very balanced. Thank you for the reply.
• Philippines
13 Oct 09
make sure to draw a line between them. sometimes they take u for granted because they feel u are easy and friendly. even with fellow staff and colleagues, i make it a point that i don't get too close to them. i work when it's work and when it's breaktime, i just take a nap. i also refrain from going out with them after office hours but only for very special occasions and office activities. don't be afraid to call their attention if something is amiss in their work, it is ur duty to do so.
• Philippines
14 Oct 09
That's a nice advice moneymakingtoday! I'll do that too. But don't you think it would make me a loner or something like that? Just a thought for that kind of behavior at work.
@Hatley (164670)
• Garden Grove, California
13 Oct 09
Hi ethanonthemoon, well I have not had the experience of having someone actually work under me, just have had new people work beside me that just did not get the idea that they had to do certain things, that they could not just palm their duties off onto other people. so I did tellthem that I would always help but I would not ever do their jobs for them. as for you you must make it plain that you are the senior and are to be listened to and obeyed even if you have to be a bit less friendly. they must respect you, not necessarily be your best buddy. be a bit harder on them so they know you are the senior. really. hope it works good luck.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
14 Oct 09
I have thought of getting a bit harder on them also. Thank you for your tip.
@jlamela (4909)
• Philippines
7 Nov 09
I understand your case, maybe your position in your company is really superior or really big that's why you fretted your disrespectful new officemate. But in my case, my position in the company I worked with is super ordinary.lol! so I have no issue with undisciplined newbies, I just let it passed and continue doing what I supposed to do. But I never go with or join that fellow if he or she is undisciplined or had an impossible character, I avoided that kind of person to make myself free from trouble and headache.
@peace001 (727)
• China
13 Oct 09
i am afraid that i can not agree you that you report this to your supervisor,and you don't converse with the new one.you are his guider,you should let him know every principle when he is working.best wishes.
1 person likes this
• Indonesia
13 Oct 09
Are you his boss? If yes, then you have the right to tell them that they did something wrong and cannot be tolerated in the future. If you are not his boss, then there's nothing you can do other than to mind your own works or tasks. I also don't believe you have to respect your seniors, as long as they are staffs or the same position as yours, then we are the same. I personally wouldn't care if the other colleagues or juniors are being lazy, that's their business, I would just do my own job. I would just let the boss warn them.
• Philippines
14 Oct 09
Thank you for the reply alwayzzcitra! I have not expected an answer like that but I guess that's what mylot is all about: to say and voice out your personal thoughts and opinions. Thank you nonetheless.