what makes people fall out of love? is this really possible?

@manong05 (5029)
Philippines
October 12, 2009 8:34pm CST
A couple close to me is going through a crisis right now. For the past 6 years the relationship was just perfect and sweet. One day the husband came home from work and said, I have enough of this. That's it, I am done. I want to have a life of my own and left the house the following day. The wife just burst into tears in shock. She was caught by the events unprepared. She couldn't think of any reason for the husband to feel that way. She reasoned out with the hubby but to no effect. Terrible thing to happen. Can people fall out of love just like that even though they go through a mid-life crisis?
7 people like this
17 responses
@irene3184 (900)
• Philippines
13 Oct 09
Sometimes in our life, the are unpredictable things happen that is very unexpected. Sometimes we pissed of to things we've been our daily routine. In falling out of love, maybe we never find time to boast the passion and affection towards husband and wife. We always need to find time to make something new in a relationship so that everyday is always inspiring.
1 person likes this
@AD1970 (116)
• Canada
13 Oct 09
Well, that is quite shocking, I mean after 6 years. Maybe they weren't happy with each other subconsciously but didn't express it to each other...Every marriage has problems but couples should sit down and work things out. This type of thing usually happens after early courtship when the couple slowly starts to reveal their true selves and the illusion of love is shattered!
1 person likes this
@babyish13 (228)
• Philippines
13 Oct 09
i think what makes people fall out of love is miscommunication. still believe that communication is best factor you can put up in a relationship
1 person likes this
• Philippines
13 Oct 09
hmmp..mybe not at all coz it realy depends on the situation..mybe really there are people who can't handle problems of their own thats why they keep on thinking of what should they want to do..either to stay w/ their family or not..but for good u must stay the same though u experience a mid-life crisis..God has still plans for your life..dont loose hope instead inspire yourself..
1 person likes this
@zzyw87 (1260)
• Philippines
13 Oct 09
No, I don't think people can fall out of love that easily and just move out and leave like that. Maybe it all came to a boiling point for the guy. Maybe it took months to make him feel like that to the point of wanting to leave his wife. Also, people should keep the excitement alive even when they are already married. Even if they are already married, they should still work on their relationship. I do believe that people do fall out of love even if they are already married. Maybe it is because things are already getting boring and routine.
1 person likes this
@redphile (2265)
• Philippines
13 Oct 09
couples should have an open relati0nship when it c0mes to c0mmunicati0n. If one partner is sh0cked by this acti0n of leaving or being fed then clearly one is just blind n0t to see signs or just does n0t have a very open line in between.
1 person likes this
@sid556 (31005)
• United States
13 Oct 09
it's usually not just like that even if it appears to be. All too often people take each other for granted and don't take time to keep the relationship itself alive and healthy. They grow apart and often stop communicating their true feelings. Things can seem fine if they are not arguing and bickering but sometimes that is as bad as arguing all the time. One person can be unhappy for a long long time and suddenly just decide it is time to move on. Maybe he found someone else or maybe just decided he was tired of being unhappy. I know that with mid-life one pauses and does begin to question their life and what they have done with it up until now. You wonder if you have made the right choices and you realize that time is running out. Not everyone decides to leave their marriage. Some decide to revive it instead.
1 person likes this
• Mexico
13 Oct 09
It might happend something. Maybe he wasn't being honest with her. That not means that he necessary was cheating with her, but he wasn't totally honest. Everytrhing wasn't that perfect, maybe he didn't make and extra- effort for making his love to his wife keep growing. Love is a hard work where you can supposed that he/she knows that you love her/him. It's sad to know that relationships finish like this. That's not right.
1 person likes this
@carrine (2749)
• Philippines
14 Oct 09
of course its really possible for a person can fell that way. i mean falling out of love. however in your story, gosh! thats too unfair for the wife really. why not telling the wife the reason why he acting that way, why not talking to the wife that there is something fishy with the relationship. i dont like his style. too mean!
@dawnald (84146)
• Shingle Springs, California
13 Oct 09
If you don't grow together, you grow apart. Also, if you do things to lose your partner's respect, you can lose their love too. Yes, it's very possible to fall out of love.
• United States
13 Oct 09
It is very possible that she saw the relationship as perfect and that he saw it lacking the spontaneity and excitement that most people want in a relationship. It is very possible to become bored and then resentful of your partner, blaming them for the lack of communication. Possibly, if he had expressed his feelings sooner they could have worked things out. Love doesn't just happen and stay on its own. It has to be worked at everyday by both people. Yes, I do believe that people fall out of love. Does it happen overnight, no. It took time to fall in love and it takes time or an event to fall out of love. Lust is much easier to deal with. You have your fun and when its over you both can walk away as friends.
• United States
13 Oct 09
I'm currently kind of going through a similar situation to the one described. I want a divorce from my husband but he wants to work things out. Things weren't all rosy but they weren't bad either. I'm not sure how it happened but I just don't love him anymore. I still care about him but not like a wife should. It's actually very sad, I want to love him, I want to feel the closeness I used to but I just don't and I can't make myself. I'm very sorry for your friend, for both of them. I just hope that they both find what makes them happy; I hope the same for my husband and I as well.
• United States
13 Oct 09
I think that it really depends on the situation, and the person. I personally dont believe that a so called " mid life crisis" is a good reason to just drop a bomb on your poor unsuspoecting spouse. I think that its dispicable to end things like that with out so much as a discussion into the reason that he or she is feeling this way. Unfortunatley though I have seen it happen and it is a horrible thing to do to some body. I have a hard time believing that a mid-life crisis could make you fall out of love. There would have to be a beter reason, infidelity, anger problems, constant verbal physical or mental abuse. To simply say that a mid life crisis made me fall out of love with you is a poor excuse and would lead to a question whether or not he or she was ever truly in love with their spouse. If that is truly the case in your story I hope that she takes him for everything that he is worht in the divorce because he took 6 years of her life under false aspirations and declarations of love. She cannot go back and re-cliam those lost years. I feel for her please pass on my sympathies.
• China
13 Oct 09
I don't beleive that.If people fall out of love,we believe that their relationship doesn't work,so people need communication.
@sasalove (1710)
• China
13 Oct 09
As a matter of fact, it seldom happened around me and I don't believe the man to propose the breaking without any reason for that. Every result must have their cause, maybe your friend did not realised that. I always think that life is not just communication, but feeling. Many things that we can not express out just by our words, we should observe with our brain and heart. That is the philosophy of life. When we got married, it is unavoidable that life will tend to be normal and simple, maybe it is so-called mid-life crisis as you adised. We need the life experience and wisdom to solve it and lit up our life again. We need perception to make it work. Happy Mylotting.
@ericaldo (35)
• Indonesia
13 Oct 09
if the relationship don't work anymore or people fall out of love, i think because the starting point when make relations is about "because" (e.g : i love you 'because' you pretty or i want marry you 'because' i love you). The important things in the relationship is do not have an obligation but make a relations because you a happy person and you want to share it.
@skysuccess (8882)
• Singapore
13 Oct 09
manong05, As a bystander like you, I do not think there is anything we can really know, understand or come to a realization just what is really and actually happening to your friend's relationship. Reason? Obviously, it would have to be because we are not living in their lives or relationship and have a different perspective. However, this incident just proves that relationship does not thrive because of the duration of being together. Love being constant does not represent that circumstances and people will be anything near the same here. It never will and we change. Most of the time for the better but for this instance with your friend it has turned the other way round. However, let me also add here that Love can withstand any adversity ONLY if it's true to its highest and most sacred intention. Superficiality and inferior love will only crumble with the passing of time. For a feeble relationship cannot endure the decomposition nature of time. Time, being the greatest test of love, will always seek to communicate - what years of relationship they took to build - can be overnight... like how fragile a glass can be... smashing delicately against the brick wall...shatter and break. Sadly, if her love decides that he wants to out, there's little you could possibly do to this damaged relationship. For love has neither auto-save nor backup function to return back to the 'golden age' of their relationship. Her partner's abruptness and resigned attitude probably hints that this relationship is almost as good as gone. This period might just give her enough clarity to take flight, fly high and the courage to walk forward. And you: the time for acceptance. Take care.