Fellow Parents I need your HELP!

Terrible twos....I am so glad I don't have to go there again. After having four kids go through it, I am more than happy to say I'm done. Your doughter is testing you. How far can she go before she gets into trouble? It's no fun, that's for sure. When she goes to throwing one of her tantrums, have her sit in time out until it is over. Let her know that this type of behaviour is no acceptable. The more she gets by with on it, the more she will do it. When I first met my husband and his 2 year old twins I had my hands full. They would hit, kick, scream, cry, and fight me on absolutely everything. I did attribute part of this to the fact that they had not had a steady, loving and reliable in their lives before, but still, their age had something to do with it as well. After my being in the picture for a while, they became the loving little girls that I knew they would be. If it helps any, take yourself a time out from time to time. As a parent you need a breather as well. And don't worry, life will go back to normal for you in time.

Tantrums is really common to toodlers. When they got upset to something they resulted to that which in turn gives us, parents, a head ache and worst embarrasment when in public. My son went to that stage as well. What I do is, I will make him face me and start talking to him calmly but with a firm voice. That way he knows when I am mad already, I also make him stand on the corner and tell him that if he keeps on doing that and wont stop he will have to stand there the whole day. It is effective to me, may be to your girls as well. Here are the other things that I am doing to control kid. 1. I ignore him. If you keep on buying their tantrums they will do that again and again. If you are not in public you could try doing that. Make them feel that those things that they are doing has no effect on you. See, they will eventually stop on their own. They will get tired of doing it for nothing. 2. I never give in to my kid's demands when he is having tantrums, if you do that they will feel that tantrum is the answer for getting what they want. 3. I talk to my son when he is in a good mood that he should not be acting like that. Make them understant that it is not proper especially if you are in public. 4. I teach my son that if he want something he must obey and behave to get what he wants. If you keep on repeating that to them, I believe they will absorb it. Good luck and I hope I these will work on your daughters. Have a nice day prikayjo2436!

very well could be just the terrible twos. Its hard to tell. I had 4 children and one in particular was given to extreme tantrums. They were more frequent and uncontrollable and also brought on by seemingly nothing. I questioned her doctor who said that nothing was wrong. I kept track of her tantrums and the causes and I'm telling you they were extreme. Her clothing especially was a source of distress for her. She could not stand the seams in the toes of her socks. As she got a bit older...the tantrums continued. She claimed that jeans made her sick. She refused to wear them. She did not start wearing jeans until she was about 11. Her shoes had to be tied very tight or she would scream. Her temper tantrums continued all thru her teens. We never knew when or what would cause her to blow. Still no diagnosis. She is 22 now and her temper is still there but with maturity, it does not flare as frequently as it used to. It was very difficult at times to deal with and I'm sure it was painful for her as well. For the sake of both you and your daughter I hope this is just the terrible twos or if not....medicine has progressed to a point where there is help for this.

Just wanted to say your not alone. My son is going on three and he has been going through that for a while. Every child experiences terrible two's at some point and in different ways for who knows how long. I dont have alot of experience in it but some people say when they throw tantrums just make sure there is nothing around them they can get hurt and then just pay them no mind. The tantrum itself is them trying to get attention out of you. My son often does this for various reasons mainly if he can't get his way. But they will outgrow this phase. Good luck!

Hi prikayjo, I have to agree with the other member that said "she's testing you" All children go through a stage where they try different things to see how much they can get away with before they get into trouble. Sending her to her room is an excellent and effective option. Now some little ones like to be brave and as soon as they think mom or dad isn't looking sneak out of their room, if this happens simply take her by the hand and walk her back to her room even if it has to be done 5 or 6 times before she gets the picture. It is also very important that after the time out you sit down with her and ask " Do you know why you were sent to your room?" If she says yes then explain to her that when she throws a tantrum you can not understand what she wants or needs because she is screaming and not using her words, and the only way you can help make the problem better is if she uses her words to tell you what is wrong. Let her know it is ok for her to say " I'm upset" or "That makes me angry" because then you understand how she is feeling and can help her feel better. If she says she does not know why she was sent to her room then explain to her why she was sent to her room, and the things mentioned above. Within a few weeks time things should improve greatly It really does help them learn to communicate and build trust that it is ok to talk to mommy and daddy about how they feel using this strategy, and helps them prepare for future life experiences too. Plus it helps you feel better when the tantrums stop Good luck and happy mylotting,..Olydove

These are the terrible twos, and unfortunately, they are just as terrible as they sound. I've found that with my children the period of terribleness didn't last for an extended period of time, but rather for a few months. Based on my own experience the reason that children that are two years old act out the way that they so often do is because of communication barriers. At this age they are no longer a baby, but they also aren't quite little people yet either. They want to communicate on a higher level than they did when they were younger but very often aren't fully able to do that yet. If you take your time with your daughter and talk with her often, the stage of tantrums and acting out will probably not last for a very long time.

Welcome to the terrible twos. Get ready, they will last until she's 18. I'm still waiting for my 18 year old son to get over them Seriously, she's normal and things will get better. Right now you've got it easy. Just wait until she hits the age where she thinks you're stupid and don't know anything. Luckily that doesn't last too long.

This is quite normal for kids to behave in this way. But still is a mother or father it is a big thing. Because this is happening to our very own kid. I say this is normal because this is not my child. Had it been mine, I too would have got so serious about it. But there are a lot of internal changes taking place in the age that your daughter is. That is quite natural to be. So, that might be a cause why your daughter is behaving in that way. Secondly, kids have an urge to say the opposite when the adults say them to do certain different things. That might also be a cause. And as far as you are saying about public places. Then why don't you just avoid taking her to such places until at least she is some more old?

Prikayjo- Our son just entered his stage after turning three. After going through the motions of all of the suggestions given to us, we've decided to go with a combination of choice and extinction. We give our son a choice of what two outfits to wear, which foods to eat, and so forth. He only gets to choose between two things. Then, if a fit is thrown he is warned about his behavior, and then we ignore it. We have found that by not giving him tons of attention during his tantrums we're seeing less and less. I wish you the best of luck. Namaste-Anora

welcome to parenthood,you are lucky it's only just started,a lot of parents have this from when their kids are a lot younger,there isn't really much you can do apart from discipline the bad and praise the good,you just have to grit your teeth and bare it,also don't stop going out just because of her behaviour,do what ever you normally do,everyone goes through this,there's no need to be embarassed when you're out with her good luck

prikayjo, Take it easy, kids while growing up sho such behavior, and this is quite nrmal. What you need to do is remain calm and make her calm. She may show a lot of anger and frustration, but just let it pass. Some kids do become abnormally excited and this could make us angry, but please understand that, kids have no grudge or anger in them that want to show it on us. Let them throw tantrums and when you just look at them, they'll cool down.

my son didnt hit the terrible twos till he was 3 but they hit back bigger and harder!!! Hes 5 now and still trys to push his luck with a tantrum every now and again espcially if hes tired , put her on the naughty step and start teaching her now its unacceptable the younger you start with disapline the better shell be!, as i have friends who never bothered telling their kids off and now they are an absolute nightmare!! It hard work but with patience it always works, As soon as my son had a tantrum id make him sit on the step, everytime he moved from the step id take him back, unless he sat quietly on the naughty step for 5 mins id keep him there till he did, I do it differently when outside, i know its really mortifying when kids kick off in the middle of a shop and everyone looks at you thinking your a child killer!, But i would never react to him id just let him have his tantrum but tell him once we got home there would be punishment then once home favourate toys would be taken away from him and there would be no treats, Eventually if you stick to it shell relise that good behaviour gets rewarded and hopefully like my son youll only get the odd one when they are having a bad day lol hope that helps!!

I am a single mom with a 5 year old son. I have a problem about sucking reflex of my son since until now he still have that reflex which I find it hard to fix. I am being told that giving something that he can hold can eliminate the habbit but I do all advices heard about the problem.Any suggestions that you can share how can I fix my son's habbit?

two years old already develops independence. Choosing her / his clothes is very desirable and even though as mother dont like their choices do not interfer childs decision. I experienced your situation when my baby was at that age he also has the same tantrums but what I did was everytime he wanted things and dont see them and explain why it is not visible for him. I tried to talk to him word for word and then if his toy is clean I let him to see me cleaning. Or create stories to distract his tantrums.

I've experienced this with my second son. And though it has not totally stopped, it's come down considerably when I've calmed myself down. It really helps for you to be in control of the situation and not let the child control the situation. I was working till a few months back and I realized that I was rushing my son every single moment of the day...starting from getting up in the morning. We had to rush to school together...coming back and rushing through my chores and his. And that was making things worse. I was stressed out and it was taking its toll on him too. After I quit work and relaxed enough to be able to stop myself from reacting everytime he threw a tantrum, I could see the change. He still does throw a tantrum...but it's not as bad as it was earlier and it's fewer in number. When he's throwing a tantrum, I learnt the best thing to do is to let him and wait till he's calm to let him know it was not accepted behaviour. Having said that, I also have to say, each child is different and you need to watch and be observant to understand what works for your child. My older child needed to be corrected immediately when he did something wrong...but my with my little one, I need to wait till he's ready to listen. As advice, I'd say, observe the behaviour...try different things till u figure out what works for your daughter (sometimes distraction works) and then be consistent with it. Don't worry...almost all parents go through this and I'm sure your daughter will soon be out of this 'tantrum-phase'.

I know how you feel. When my son was about 2 1/2, he started the tantrums. If I was at home, I would just leave him in his room, close the door, and walk away and let him scream and cry to his hearts desire. Soon he would calm down and come out of his room and be perfectly normal again. If we were out in public, I would take him out to the car and let him throw his fit there or if I was close to home I would just go home. I did learn to run my errands when his dad was home to watch him so I didn't have to go through it. He didn't do it every time we were in public but he did do it enough times. Just know that every mother has been there and your not doing anything wrong. It is just a phase every kid goes through and in time it will pass.

My daughter is turning two in about a month. She already start6ed going tro the tamtrums she did it for about a week and then stoped. Whene ever she would trow herself on the floor i would just let her throw her tantrums and just did not pay any attentione to her she started hating that i was not paying attention so she stopprd doig them. Whene we went in to puplic and she would trow a tantrum then a spanked her and we went home. She soon relised that if she trew a tantrum then she would not be able to go in public. It might help if you allow your daughter to do some thins for herself and let her pick what she wants to eat show her a cuple of meal ideas and let her pick. She is becoming independent and wanting to do things for herself. I hope mu suggestions help you out and dont worry every child goes through them. Happy Mylotting