How would you shut up a screaming child in Walmart?

@uath13 (8227)
United States
October 14, 2009 7:53pm CST
Here's the scenario. Your casually shopping at Walmart & there's this obnoxious brat of a child throwing a tantrum. He's so loud the entire store can hear him. His parents aren't doing anything... What interesting methods can you come up with to quiet him? Feel free to use any of the stores resources.
6 people like this
23 responses
• United States
15 Oct 09
This IS some random kid, and NOT mine, right? Okay, good. First, whatever horrifically overpriced chunk of plastic that he's throwing the flaming godawful fit for would be prised out of the ridiculously oversealed packaging and handed to him as quickly as my knife could cut through the box. Next, I would hand the parents the now-shredded packaging with he following comments: "I believe this particular item is $39.96. Next time you need help shutting your kid up, just ask anyone within screaming distance. The ENTIRE store can hear what sh!tty parents you are. However, if your reason for continuing to let your h3llish brat scream bloody murder in a very public place is because you have some injury that afflicts your arms and prevents you from spanking your brat yourself, I will be more than happy to do it for you. Child, would you like a perfect stranger to spank you til you can't sit down? Then SHUT UP NOW. Your behavior is completely unacceptable. See how MY son sits quietly and pleasantly in the cart? He gets a spanking when he acts out the way you are doing. Have a pleasant afternoon!" And saunter calmly away, carryig on with my business as if nothing has happened.
2 people like this
@uath13 (8227)
• United States
15 Oct 09
Ohhh, make it the most expensive thing on the shelf. Walmart will love you.
1 person likes this
@max1950 (2313)
• United States
15 Oct 09
they sell motorcycle helmets with face shields put one one the brat then only he or she has to listen to the screaming. headphones put on front and back covering the mouth and held on by the back of the head, hand him loads of chocolate then have the parents try taking it away while your walking out of the store. find the first free puppy you can and give it to the kid and let the parents deal with housebreaking it. but i think the duct tape thing is really funny and the best answer.
1 person likes this
@uath13 (8227)
• United States
15 Oct 09
LOL...Here...Have a puppy! I love it. There's always some available right outside the store.
@JodiLynn (1417)
• United States
16 Oct 09
This ones GOOD! Also, tis Ween season, a scare might shut the lil bastage up too! Gawd I love duct tape!
• United States
18 Oct 09
WORD! hahhaaa
• United States
15 Oct 09
Use the store's paging system or PA as it is commonly called. Announce the representatives of the CHILD PROTECTIVE SERVICES AGENCY have arrived and will be dealing with the screaming and obviously abused child in the store shortly. This will cause the child's parents to flee the store immediately and take the annoying child with them. (If they don't abandon the child hoping the CPS will take custody!)
1 person likes this
@uath13 (8227)
• United States
15 Oct 09
Excellent idea. Mean yet effective!
1 person likes this
@irishidid (8119)
• United States
15 Oct 09
That depends. Is it their child or my child? If it's their child, I ignore it and do my shopping. Then I leave and get into my peacefully quiet car. If it's my child I do my shopping, then I leave and the people in the store breath a sigh of relief. I drive away knowing my kid will fall asleep before we're even home. Problem solved. In all honesty my kids never threw tantrums in the stores. The kids that do are usually in the toy or candy aisle when they do it. Don't start buying them the crap in the first place and they won't expect it.
@uath13 (8227)
• United States
15 Oct 09
Never did...never will. My kids get asked" Can you pay for it?".
1 person likes this
@JodiLynn (1417)
• United States
16 Oct 09
Irish and I AGREE on something!
@JodiLynn (1417)
• United States
16 Oct 09
Why do you get to have the quiet ride home and the other three hundred people in walmart have to suffer? Actually, I agree with you, kids that are tempted are more likely to unhinge in the isle. Don't buy em crap and they wont expect it...well said!
@maezee (26783)
• United States
15 Oct 09
HA. Doesn't this always seem to be the case at Wal-Mart? Never Target, the grocery store, etc - ALWAYS Wal-Mart. It's like they have a sign up front saying "Please bring your annoying and screaming kids here". It's ridiculous. Ok. In all ridiculousness.. I would say I would probably use some kind of toy or something to distract them. Sometimes toys make kids happy - because they're bored or impatient. So give 'em a Barbie or a remote control car (hopefully the batteries would be included). Otherwise, if they need a diaper change..Well, Wal-Mart would have the diapers, but I certainly wouldn't be changing them. Otherwise.. Wal-Mart sells both formula and milk in case they were hungry. HAHA. These aren't very creative ideas, but I'm not a very creative person, so it makes sense.
@uath13 (8227)
• United States
15 Oct 09
& apparently there's not a mean devious bone in your body.
1 person likes this
• United States
15 Oct 09
Funny...that made me remember what i used to do.... when my daughter was 1...2...3...etc...when i would take her shopping with me when we would roll past something that caught her eye...a toy or a stuffed animal etc...i would hand it to her and she would hold onto it the whole time i was shopping...then when we would get to the checkout i would say ok time to say bye bye to your new friend now...we'll see you next time... and you know she never once threw a tantrum...
@uath13 (8227)
• United States
15 Oct 09
The borrowed bear... Simple yet effective.
@Trensue (5265)
• United States
15 Oct 09
I would have to assume that living in Utah this is an every day occurrence. I live here and see screaming children everywhere. My favorite thing to do if the parents are standing right there is to have a discussion with them loud enough so they can hear me over the screaming. "My that is an interesting technique of parenting you are using? Do you think it will be successful? You know I heard once that if you splash cold water in child's face that shocks them for a minute and they take a breathe and you can talk then - have you tried that one? If you are using this to teach the child a lesson you should have a sign or something so that everyone here doesn't just think that you don't give a damn." Have you ever seen me shopping?
@uath13 (8227)
• United States
15 Oct 09
Actually it's UATH, not Utah. Amusing idea, add some extra embarrassment from an adult if they've learned to ignore the kid.
2 people like this
@Trensue (5265)
• United States
15 Oct 09
I wasn't referring to your name - I was referring to living with screaming children here - I was pointing out the specific here, but I could use a good editor!
@aprilsue00 (1992)
• United States
15 Oct 09
I have four children so I have encoutered this problem more than once. There is not a whole lot you can do. I usually get a bag of suckers and give them each one. This usually quites them down for the rest of the shopping trip. I try not to have to take the kids shopping with me though so I do not have to deal with this sort of problem. Because it is very stressful and every one knows that stress is not good for you.
@uath13 (8227)
• United States
15 Oct 09
Apparently the friends who suggested I start this thread to continue our running joke are going to leave me hanging... In a more serious discussion we'd gotten onto crazy ideas that popped into our heads when this happened. Things like muzzles, cotton balls & duct tape had all been suggested & it seemed better to just bring it over here. 4 kids ay...You have my sympathy. At least your not one of the parents that ALLOW this type of behavior.
1 person likes this
@JodiLynn (1417)
• United States
16 Oct 09
FEAR NOT! I have not abandoned you, my son! but I did have to go to the bank, store, school, gas station, CVS and the post office...darn familial commitmants! Oh yeah, not one screamer in the whole day!
@SomeCowgirl (32273)
• United States
15 Oct 09
I would either ignore it or try to talk to the child... of course I'd make sure the child's parents were right beside me... I'd probably say "what your name little guy" or "what's the matter"... I wouldn't do anything to hurt the child which is what this discussion makes it seem like your implying. CHILD ABUSE IS WRONG! Anyone abuses a child, I'd have my say about it!
@uath13 (8227)
• United States
15 Oct 09
This was done in fun after seeing another friends discussion & the different methods they'd dreamed up. You know you can't help but think of a few when this happens... Here's a chance to vent em.
2 people like this
@SomeCowgirl (32273)
• United States
15 Oct 09
I saw a discussion a friend made about screamers in a store, but no I've never dreamt up anyway to stop the child, I have however thought I'd wish the parents would shush the child up... but I stand by child abuse being wrong.
@JodiLynn (1417)
• United States
16 Oct 09
Uath, darling, no one has taken your meaning. SO I, who apparently has the amazing ability to read only what I WANT TO from any post on any website, will show how creative one can be when attempting to silence a spasmodically screaming urchin in walmart (in addition to the other fabulous ideas I've already shared with you!) To fill the orifice of the vocal stylist: Socks, Scarves, Mittens, TAMPONS or maxi pads (depending on the kids size), Pimento loaf (if you have a super walmart, it's in the deli section), PEANUT BUTTER- opened and scooped and orally delivered, in a loving fashion- digitally, Ice Cream (same presentation as afore mentioned PB), depends, Potting soil, and pillows. Lemons, Limes & hot peppers, all at the same time, ('least the kid would remember WHY he was crying (heh!) ) but the best would be a (single) BENEDRYL.... ok , that was over the top, BUT.... There is also a hell ride on the store jazzy chair A time out IN a running kenmore display A chainsaw exhibition "Sizing" a dog crate with said child might have some effect Okay, now everyone can attack me and say I'm a super horrible person, even though this was all said AS A JOKE. Hugs Uath!
@uath13 (8227)
• United States
17 Oct 09
At least you got it....
1 person likes this
@zjK98mim (20)
• Malaysia
15 Oct 09
1) shove an ice-cream into the child's mouth. 2) pick up a toy and start distracting the child. 3) take a soft-drink can and offer it to him (open it too). 4) offer him a ride in the trolley (or doesn't Walmart have those?). 5) go up to him, give him a harsh scolding. if the parents were not doing anything before this, I am sure they will spring to action almost immediately.
@uath13 (8227)
• United States
15 Oct 09
Can I shake the can first...Please?
1 person likes this
@nonersays (2660)
• United States
15 Oct 09
When its not your child there is not much you CAN do. As an employee (not of walmart, but of another retail store) I can't even complain about it out loud where the parents might hear me. Sometimes I'll go to the kid and say in a silly voice, "Oh, now it cant be THAT bad, can it?" It either shocks them into a few seconds of blessed silence, or make its worse.
@uath13 (8227)
• United States
15 Oct 09
I know there's not much you CAN do. I was hoping to hear some of the crazy ideas that popped into peoples heads of things they wish they could do ( if they could get away with it legally ).
@Bluepatch (2481)
• Trinidad And Tobago
15 Oct 09
Basically, you take the brat by the hand and lead him outside then close the door behind you as you return. Or, you can call security and let it be their problem, or, you can go up to the parents and say quite plainly that you cannot stand the noise, please do something about it.
@uath13 (8227)
• United States
15 Oct 09
Lead them outside? That's a code Adam waiting to happen ( if those parents even care enough to bother ).
@syankee525 (6298)
• United States
15 Oct 09
humm i would try to make them laugh or something. but i know if it was my kid i would tell them dont make me take you out to the car.
@uath13 (8227)
• United States
15 Oct 09
The car is still relatively safe. There's security cameras in the parking lot. " Wait till we get HOME!"
@dragon54u (31298)
• United States
15 Oct 09
Making faces at them usually works wonders! They are usually looking for attention and are used to their parents ignoring them. The parents seem as if they have the child as an afterthought, a ball and chain they drag around. So make a face, put your thumbs in your ears and wiggle your fingers, make the kid laugh. It works almost every time. And THEN the parents pay attention! Go figure...
@uath13 (8227)
• United States
15 Oct 09
@danitykane (3193)
• Philippines
15 Oct 09
Haha... I might feed him with ten footlongs and thirty jumbo hotdogs in one sitting! Just for him to stop in making some noises. But seriously, I won't let my son or daughter misbehave like that or reach the point that I couldn't control their bad behavior anymore. Proper guidance and nurture I guess will help to lessen the possibility for a child to be an ultra brat kid. Well, I hope that would work..yay! thank goodness I'm still single.
@uath13 (8227)
• United States
15 Oct 09
Too busy chewing to fuss... hmmm... Then let his parents suffer the gasiousness afterwords. Sounds appropriate.
@pcruz77 (452)
• Guam
15 Oct 09
Go to another Walmart.
@uath13 (8227)
• United States
15 Oct 09
While there does seem to be a store on every block there's ALWAYS one of those bratty kids in it.
@Qaeyious (2362)
• United States
15 Oct 09
I'm sure WalMart would have lots of duct tape available. Seriously though, I am not a parent or guardian, so it is the guardian's responsibility and not mine. And if I am annoyed by a child having a tantrum, it is my own responsibility to control myself to behave civilly. I learned a meditation technique some time ago, where you focus on the space an object occupies, not the object itself. A variation of that is focusing on the silence that is behind the sound. It takes a bit of practice, but eventually I am not annoyed at sounds as much as I used to.
@uath13 (8227)
• United States
15 Oct 09
Price check , duct tape...isle 4 - the guy with REALLY big shoulders.
1 person likes this
@Foxxee (3654)
• United States
10 Jan 10
Well first thing first, you don't know if the parents are trying to calm their child down or not. We don't know the situation so it's not ours to judge. Another thing is, it's not our job to calm the child down or to step in. I'm sure these parents realize their child is screaming & are trying their best to hurry & get out the store, so I wouldn't even both try to step in, I'm not the parent.
@risaree (23)
• United States
15 Oct 09
I would say mind your own business. It's not your kid so what does it matter to you. I'm sure those parents know what works for their kid. Does it really hurt you to see a screaming kid? Or is it that it is just annoying you? Well too bad. If it bothers you then maybe you should leave the store. It happens. They are kids and if you are not adult enough to handle it then maybe you should grow up. The world is full of people who are going to annoy you. What are you going to do? Spank everyone who annoys you? Just grow up man and don't worry about what other people do. My kids behave and if they do start throwing a fit they know that we will leave the store and they will be dealt with when we get home. But that's what works for me. Some kids will stop crying if their parents ignore them. And those parents have every right to do that.
@merlinsorca (1123)
• United States
15 Oct 09
Well, what I would do is to simply ignore it. I wouldn't even try to get him to stop, just let it be. I mean, it's not like I have to spend the rest of my life listening to this kid, so once I'm outta the store I can forget about it. Causes less problems if I try to confront him. And the other thing I could do is to politely ask his parents to get him to calm down. Though I won't let this take up too much of my life, so I will just have a brief conversation if necessary to get the parents to shut the kid up.