If you "best friend" kissed you ....

@nagikka (411)
Italy
October 15, 2009 2:26pm CST
Let's make this discussion a "suppose that", it makes things easier for me :) So, suppose that you have a very good friend and that you spend a lot of time together, talking about just anything that's on your mind, spending time on the phone and who always tells you how important you are for him. Suppose that one day you go out together and he holds your hands all day long and before going home he kisses you on your lips. Later he also adds "what would you call two people that do the things that we do? holding each other, walking hand in hand, watching the sunset together ... I don't wanna say the word because it kind of scares me". Suppose that you tell him that you have a crush on him and from that day he starts acting differently: he sends you tons of sms telling you the sweetest stuff ever, he sends you songs with lyrics like "you are the first thing I think about when I wake in the morning blah blah", he starts dressing the way you said you love. You are sitting together and he holds you close, with his face and lips practically glues to yours. And eventually kisses you. He kisses you all day long. Now suppose that on the following day he tells you that you're just friends and that the kiss was a sign of affection. What would your reaction be ? I basically deleted him off my life, it was really disappointing. I'd have forgotten about it If he told me something like "I don't want to be with you" instead of such a stupid excuse. What would you do?
6 responses
@Capsicum (1444)
• United States
15 Oct 09
This has never happened to me because ,I am very cautious. I would hate to have to feel this type of rejection. Maybe checking someone out more before giving trust in what is happening between you,Is something that should be looked into more. I have a male friend we don't hold hands or kiss.If more people would put friendship before lust we could all get along.
1 person likes this
@Capsicum (1444)
• United States
15 Oct 09
I would not jeopardize a good friendship by acting this way. Good friends are hard to come by!
@nagikka (411)
• Italy
15 Oct 09
you're perfectly right, my same thoughts. I told him that friends don't normally hold hands or kiss each other THAT way and he said I was wrong, because friends DO that. I'm still so angry that I almost hate him now for being so evil to me.
@Capsicum (1444)
• United States
17 Oct 09
Don't hate him talk to him ,If you are good friends and get it straight.It might not be the friendship you once had.But will not leave you wondering if you should have done something to hold on to this friend as a friend .
1 person likes this
@dhysanne (451)
• Philippines
25 Oct 09
First he already he asked you what kind of relationship you already have, but you hesitated to answer. If you already told him your thoughts about it, maybe he will tell you about his stand on what kind of relationship you will have. Perhaps, he thought you like what you're doing and it's okay to do such thing with you. I think he took advantage of your feelings. And you have done the right thing.
@nagikka (411)
• Italy
25 Oct 09
well he always said we were friends but more than once he also said "You know we are acting and doing things like people in a relationship, maybe we are in ..." and then he added he didn't want to say "in love" because the thing kind of scared him. Then I told him many times that I liked him more than a friend but that If he only wanted for us to be friends, he had to act differently which included not kissing me, not holding me like that and so on. But when we met he started to act weirdly, kissing me, holding me, holding my hands and then kissed me. I was like "okay then he is showing me that he likes me more than a friend" but 24 hours later he said he kissed me to show me how much of an important friend I am. And that's when I told him to go to hell.
@dhysanne (451)
• Philippines
26 Oct 09
That is what you call, "friends with benefits". I know you want him to be special, but you don't want to be fooled that way. If it's not okay with you doing those kissing stuff and just be friends, then avoid him.
1 person likes this
@nagikka (411)
• Italy
2 Nov 09
I did it, I've been avoiding him for some time now and well I'll be forgetting about him sooner or later. Actually it's not that I miss him (because I don't, especially after getting to know him deeper) but I kind of hate myself for being so stupid -.-
@beadguru (40)
• Philippines
2 Nov 09
This same situation happened to me way back when I was in high school. The pain is so unbearable, though he fell in love with me first, but the rejection when I confessed to him that I think Im falling for him to is so incomparable. I really wonder why some people are like that. Normal people who are only best of friends don't do what a couple usually does like holding each other hands while walking and above all kissing. I guess your "friend" just got confused on what he felt or got afraid should the two of you became a couple and everything about your friendship will be totally get ruined should things would go wrong between the two of you. The best thing I can think of is confrontation or face to face communication, but I know it would be hard for you because I have totally been there before. What i did was, just moved on with my life. I hang out with by girlfriends and talk to them which made me feel a little bit relieved because girls do understand each others feelings. So should you ask how my story ended, we have forgiven each other and he confessed that he was so sorry for hurting me. He said he wanted me to be his girl in the end, but I told him I don't trust him anymore so just parted ways and the friendship was never restored.
1 person likes this
@nagikka (411)
• Italy
2 Nov 09
I'm sorry you had to face the same situation, it's something that really made me hate myself even more because of the blind way I trusted him. Anyway I tried to talk to him face to face but he kept on saying that I am wrong and that friends do walk hand in hand and kiss like we did (french kiss, go figure lol). I asked him to kiss another female friend of his like he did to me, and that he had to kiss her in front of her boyfriend. Guess what he didn't know what to say and our friendship is completely over. I detest him now, and that's fine to me at least hate has replaced the good feelings and it doesn't hurt anymore.
• Kenya
9 Nov 09
Same thing you did.
@buping (954)
• China
9 Nov 09
hi nagikka, it never happened to me in this situation, i have many good friends, but no best friend. i try to keep every friend close to me but i do not like friends being together everyday. so i have many good friends calling each other once in a week, i do not know what advices i should give you, but one thing is sure that keep asking yourself the feeling towards him.
@weasel81 (2501)
• Australia
15 Oct 09
if it happened to me i'd be mighty p... off, thou i can't seem too put it in to words. i can understand where your coming from thou. my work mate and i were talking about butt sizes yesterday arvo. he was saying mines big enough it could block the wind that was coming through the dairy, i then kindly pointed out he could do the same thing depending on what jeans he was wearing. you have to see the funny side of it, we both enjoy stirring each other up.