What Is Cheating? And what is Ok?

United States
October 15, 2009 5:19pm CST
I was wondering what you feel is cheating on your spouse or girlfriend or boyfriend? And do they know what you feel is cheating? So i've asked my husband while we were dating if a kiss is cheating he said no. I completely disagreed with him. I think any type of physical contact in showing affection is cheating. So is this considered cheating: 1) You talk to this guy/girl that is not your gf or bf and you are completely into them. And you can talk about anything and everything. And you are sexually excited about them. Meaning they turn you on without them either knowing or just because of how connected you are. Is this cheating? 2) You play on online game like World of Warcraft or other ones like Perfect World and you consistently play online with them. And you flirt you have a good time. But you know nothing about there real life and they know nothing of yours. Is this cheating? Or is cheating nothing to do with emotional and just physical. If you are physical with each other is this the only means of cheating? Or is it more than that? Please explain what you think is cheating and if you think the examples above are cheating or not. Thanks!
4 people like this
7 responses
@cryw0lf (1302)
• United Kingdom
16 Oct 09
Well. Depends how complex you get. I mean i actually met my partner on World of Warcraft before we met up in real life. I don't know whether i'm just harsh, but i like to have a person all to myself, and everything you wrote above... well i'd say it's sort of cheating. Other then playing the game with the person, but the whole flirting stuff etc.. That's just me though.
1 person likes this
@sid556 (31006)
• United States
16 Oct 09
I don't think you are being harsh at all. He probably flirted with you to get your attention. Naturally if he flirts with other girls on that game...it is also going to grab your attention. I think a lot depends on how much the guy does this behind your back . If he is lying...it doesn't matter what you call it ...it is bad for the relationship.
@cryw0lf (1302)
• United Kingdom
17 Oct 09
Nah he wasn't being flirty! I was, but hey i was single so why not?
• United States
16 Oct 09
I think cheating ultimately is doing something about it - meaning physically, but I also think there are levels of things that are unacceptable to me. For example, if I knew my husband had a close friendship with another woman and was confiding in her in a way he wasn't in me, I would be hurt. To say there is no such thing as cheating is rubbish - I am married and to say I don't expect my husband to be committed only to me cheapens the whole idea of it.
1 person likes this
@BlueGoblin (1833)
• United States
16 Oct 09
A kiss is not cheating if it is just a peck on the lips. Tonguing someone and lusting after them is pretty much cheating in my eyes. However, if it was a one time thing and the person was able to control themselves then I'd give them a pass. I think it would mean they really love their spouse.
• United States
16 Oct 09
I meant love their spouse for not going further even though they could. Not that kissing another person means they love their spouse, lol. I just wanted to clear that up before someone got the wrong impression.
• United States
16 Oct 09
Very good topic. First off I want to say I really dont have a clear cut answer for you. I have been in gaming for the last 5 years in virtual type worlds. I enjoy it and have alot of fun expressing my creative side. I have learned alot about myself and others ive met. This has been a good thing and a bad thing and I often wonder how its indirectly effected my marriage which didnt have a good solid fountain to begin with. My thinking on this subject over the last 5 years has changed. In the beginning I though oh geesh get real its only online and no physical contact so no its not cheating. That type of thinking changed %100 from then to now. Online flirting is really honestly the same as doing it in person, the emotions are there they are the same. This over time can lead a person to a very difficult place in their life, ive been there ive expeinced it! Ok so it doesnt happen with all people but if you meet the right match with another person and your real life is shakey its very diffcult to keep the boundaries up and separate, an emotion affair can be very intense! The connection can be so instense that the lines between real life and your online life can be blurred and consume you. My point is your online life effects your real life and if it effects your marriage then its cheating in the way i think of it. This is just me and how I have lived it. I find it really interesting to read others views about this.
• Philippines
16 Oct 09
I totally agree with you, I have experienced the same way. Online gaming or shall we call it virtual fantasy is like entering into a world with so much passion that a single person is relatively experiencing a world of imaginations concerning your mental and emotional being. The fact that you are allowing yourself or accepting that its okay to deliver feelings to the person's you like in the game is accepting that you are hiding your personal fantasies in a virtual world and I honestly think that its called cheating. Everything in this world starts always from scratch. One day you find yourself stuck in a virtual world attempting to link reality by way of asking several ways to contact the person you shared feelings in online gaming. When that time comes, you already committed cheating. I suggest have fun only in the game and live a life of reality after spending time of playing games, vice versa.
1 person likes this
• Brazil
15 Oct 09
In my opinion, cheating is related to how your perception of things work. I mean if you fell guilty about something you've done or don't fell confident about telling it to your boyfriend/husband/whatever, I believe this is cheating, what ever you kissed, flirted or played online. There shouldn't be secrets among couples you know?
• United States
16 Oct 09
I completely agree. I've play online games and flirt but I'm open to tell my husband. I feel if you can't be honest with a spouse or with your whatever than what's the since of being with them.
@syankee525 (6295)
• United States
16 Oct 09
well the first one isnt cheating you cant help how you feel about someone. but on line if you are saying things such as in a flirting way is wrong. if you kiss another on the lips or touch them well you are in an relationship its wrong. but however i do have female friends and i do give them hugs and a kiss on the cheeks only that is ok, i make sure my wife meets all and any female friends
@Weizen (145)
• China
16 Oct 09
About this ,I think the cheat .lie .it depend to what your thought ,In my eyes, I think there is standard to limited about the cheat .maybe you have heard this ' beautiful Lie" so you know in our life .sometimes ,we have to say soem lie to cheat someone ,of course ,we don't want to cheat her( him) .but this lie could make the life better ,so I think in our life, sometimes .we still need some cheat