never understand why people feel like they must control others

United States
October 16, 2009 8:09am CST
i have seen this mostly with guys who feel they must have control over their g/f or wife. but i do know a few females that are controling over the husband. and last night i see where my son's wife and his mother in law refuse to let us talk to him. we shouldnt think we must be in control of others, people arent your belonging at all. now my friend wife and my son's wife both thought they should be able to control me, like i told my friend's wife first all he might let you get away with it, but i am not your husband and you will and will never control me at all. and told my daughter in law. who do you think you are to tell me what to do ? i am old enough to be your dad, you dont tell me what i am going to do. i know if my wife and her mom said i wasnt allow to talk to my own parnets it wouldnt be me and her she would have to go couples should control each other by telling them who they are allow to talk too, or what they can and can not do what is your feeling on this ?
1 person likes this
4 responses
@1anurag1 (3580)
• India
16 Oct 09
I think that is a kind of human psycho to take control on others so that they can feel secure for them and they want the circumstances in fovour. that is also true for a person and for even a country which just wants to control or have the impact on the world. i think those things can be dealt by being polite and not feel the control on us of others. means listen every body and do that what is correct.
1 person likes this
• United States
16 Oct 09
yeah i guess they need to feel secure.
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@laydee (12814)
• Philippines
16 Oct 09
I think nobody has the right to control anyone. A union isn't something that looks for ways to undermine or control a person, it's a bond of partnership - as equals. I can't believe your daughter-in-law was like that. It seemed she's thinking for her husband. Yes, she doesn't have the right to do so and I'm shocked that she was able to do that to you her husband's parents. It simply shows that your daughter-in-law has no respect for her husband, and your son has no spine and just follows the wishes of the wife. It's a sad union, and before you know it (knock on woods) he'd blow up on her sooner or later. Nobody wants to be controlled, neither does anyone have the right to control his/her partner. I have one question though, why doesn't she want you to talk to your son? and what was your son's reaction to all of these?
• United States
16 Oct 09
because his wife felt like she can call my daughter names. and his reaction was oh well. he allow his wife treat his own sister bad. he wont talk to his sister around her. his wife thought we were going to yell at him which i was because how his wife acts towars people but i guess she thinks its ok since shes a christian. and her mom too wouldnt allow us to talk to him either. they are both control freaks and none of my son's cousins or friends wont stand up to her for some reason. but i did real fast
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@laydee (12814)
• Philippines
16 Oct 09
Oh, that really reminds me of the wife of my uncle. She's exactly like that. Sadly, my uncle looked for someone else after around 15years of bad marriage.
@angelajoy (1839)
• Philippines
17 Oct 09
I would have to disagree with you. But before you get the wrong impression, please hear me out. I disagree that partners can't control each other because when two people agree to have a relationship, they agree to belong to each other. This means that each of them should have some sort of control over the other. If there's no control at all, then one can just do whatever he or she pleases. But of course, there's moderation to everything. Too much control is bad, but no control at all is also bad because if we would just be left to do whatever we want, then our relationship would totally lose its meaning. Well, at least for me it would. What I like about my relationship with my boyfriend is that we agreed to belong to each other, and that makes it special. Some people would say that love is enough for a person to control his or her actions so that he or she could do whatever is best for a relationship, but I don't buy this at all because after all, we are humans prone to mistakes. Everywhere we go we see some form of control. The moment we are born into a society we undergo a "social contract" so that we would not step on each other's toes. This social contract is expressed by the laws of our societies. I wouldn't want to live in a society without laws because then I would be afraid all the time because I know that people can do whatever they want.
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@bird123 (10484)
• United States
18 Oct 09
Everybody wants to rule the world!!!! This is a worldwide problem and not just with love and relationships. How can we see the entire picture if people aren't free to express that which is special about themselves?? Think about this any time you want to control someone. You never know what you could be missing.
@rosepedal64 (4192)
• United States
16 Oct 09
Hi syankee I think that people that control other people are lost souls. They probably have never been able to give their opinions or have bossed around all their lives. When that person gets to be the one in control they have the tendency to over do the situation. I will have to agree with the others that no one should be aloud to control another adult. Great discussion and you have a nice weekend. Keep smiling.