Is this acceptable parential behavior?

United States
October 27, 2009 9:52pm CST
A mother tells her 12 year old daughter to take off her shirt and bra, and model them in front of her and her dad, even though she doesn't want to. Or makes her 14yr old daughter bathe with her, and angrily telling her that she needs to listen to what she is saying and that she is the mother so it's ok. And insisting that she be in the same dressing room with her and gets angry if the daughter doesn't allow her mother to see her completely naked?
3 people like this
12 responses
@Brad2289 (185)
• United States
28 Oct 09
To be honest i'm not completely sure of how to respond to this, except to say that it is definitely wrong, appalling, and kind of twisted and perverted. This is unacceptable behavior and if it gets any worse I think it should be reported to the police. It seems like borderline child abuse to me. I'm not sure of the laws on child abuse but this sure seems wrong to me.
1 person likes this
@minx267 (9849)
• Hartford, Connecticut
28 Oct 09
Um, NO WAY! This is not acceptable and is psychologically damaging to a child. if this is an actual person doing this I would report them. Someone.. and not the child - has a major problem. And needs help. And most importantly those children need help before they become completely warped.
• United States
28 Oct 09
The moms mother beat her with a curling iron whenever she would do something wrong.
@minx267 (9849)
• Hartford, Connecticut
28 Oct 09
That's horrible.. MY best friend is a child of an abusive parent. Her mom used to make her wake up at 4 in the morning (even on school days) to get her(the mother's) clothes ready for work. She would hit her all the time.. after a while mom didn't even try to hide it. my friend would say she got a fat lip from falling down stairs or something and a little while later her Mom would come out and say that she had did that to her "because.... " and whatever her reasoning was at the time. My friend has kids of her own now and has always expressed to me how she is so afraid she would turn into her mother. She's scarred for life emotionally and has never had any success in her life. Psychological abuse is still abuse.
• United States
28 Oct 09
learned behaviors are passed down through generations. Sometimes so many have gone by that its hard to say why the person does this. I'm afraid of becoming my mother too.
@doormouse (4619)
28 Oct 09
my daughters 12 and i would never ask her to do the things you mentioned,she is turning into a young lady and she needs her privacy,if that's what she wants,why would the mother want to see her daughter naked anyway,that's just weird,,we are a very open household and if me or the kids want to walk round with no clothes on that's fine,but i would never ask them to
• United States
29 Oct 09
I don't know. But have heard that this is actually normal.
@doormouse (4619)
29 Oct 09
it's not normal at all,it may be in their household but not in anyone elses
@SouravRC (248)
• India
28 Oct 09
This is very disturbing. I think both the parents need medical help. They are psychologically paralyzed. By doing these kinds of things they are crossing the law. The girl needs some protection. This is absolutely sick.
• United States
28 Oct 09
The fatheris not a bad guy. He just never stands up to the mother. He wouldn't abuse his kids. But he also doesn't believe the mother would ever do this. The mother was badly beaten by her mother (the grandmother) as she was growing up. So I would assume that it would explain the behavior.
@SouravRC (248)
• India
29 Oct 09
Okay, then it's his duty to protect his child. Whatever the 'mother' is doing is certainly sick. And that woman needs some kinds of psychological help.Good for the child that her father is there to protect her from these types of nasty abuses. Feel bad for her.
• United States
28 Oct 09
This sounds very out of line to me. I can't imagine how that poor girl must be feeling. She will have a lot to overcome in her adult life due to her parents lack of knowledge on how to parent. That is truly disgusting and I am appalled that a person would actually do this.
• United States
28 Oct 09
The daughters a cutter
• United States
28 Oct 09
That is so sad. I hope she is getting some support from outside people. Perhaps a call to child protective services is in order. I would be very concerned if I knew of this going on and would make the call. She is already in a lot of pain and needs help from others to get her life straight. Best of luck to you!
@artistry (4154)
• United States
29 Oct 09
....Hi babytaffster, How about no, no and no. Is there a psychologist in the house? The mother seems to have some sort of a problem, with gazing at bodies of young girls or children or something. Why would she subject her daughter to such treatment? That is a rhetorical question, because who knows? The daughter should tell another relative, but what would happen then, she would be punished, what a situation, poor child. Take care.
• United States
29 Oct 09
My daughter is 2, I help her bathe sometimes, but I plan to stop when she is 4. My son however is 13 and he is special needs so I sometimes have to be with him when he does things like change his clothes or attempt to bathe himself. I'm usually in there just to make sure he doesn't drown. My 2nd oldest is 11 and I took her bra shopping I helped her with trying them on, but if she doesn't want me in there I don't stay in.
@mariposaman (2968)
• Canada
28 Oct 09
If this was the father engaging in this behavior we would recognize it for what it is, but for some reason we give women a pass when they engage in the same behavior. If what you say is correct, at best this behavior is inappropriate, and at worst criminal. Children should not be forced to strip naked on a whim.
• United States
29 Oct 09
Mothers are the protectors so essentially they are in charge of taking care of the childs major needs. Bathing and dressing with the child is not unusual. However for a father, that is not his place, he is the hunter gatherer. That was the answer for the first part People assume woman would not do such a thing, we all hear about men so we assume only men would.
@mistissa (1348)
• Netherlands
28 Oct 09
I think when a child reaches a certain age, they have their right for privacy, especially when it comes to their body. I don't understand the father either, you wrote he did not want to see, but did not want to stand up to his wife. How about being a good father and telling his wife that she should not do stuff like that. Everyone has a right to privacy. It is like telling the wife to pull down her pants in public and if she doesn't then call her a prude. If I were you I would really tell some authority or something about it, because it is not tolerable, not even if she is her mother. Even more so a mother should make her kids feel secure.
• United States
28 Oct 09
The father is whipped he wont stand up to her.
@sid556 (31019)
• United States
28 Oct 09
That is just bizarre and sounds abusive. My girls all went thru spells as teens where they did not want me seeing them naked. Oddly they thought nothing of dressing in front of their friends. It's normal. I respected their wishes as to be honest...I had no real desire to see them naked either. As for showing themselves to their dad...that is just wrong. I could not even imagine taking part in something like that. It's wrong and should be reported.
• United States
29 Oct 09
He dnt chose to see it, the mom had her called in to show the dad that she hit puberty.
@nicholejade (2430)
• Canada
29 Oct 09
Can I ask what these parents are on? I have never heard of someone who would get mad that they wouldn't want to be naked in front of them. This is unacceptable and disgusting behaviour. I suggest you say something and get these girls help. They cannot stay in this situation and lifestyle. These parents as well need some serious help.
@LdeL0318 (6444)
• Philippines
28 Oct 09
It really got me thinking on what am I gonna say on this. My impression while I was reading is that it is definitely wrong. But then i can't see the mother's point in doing so. Why did she have to do that. I mean in from of her and her husband? I know that ther should be no malice but to the point of forcing. I am really thinking why?
@Hatley (143162)
• Garden Grove, California
28 Oct 09
hi babystaffer no it is surely is not acceptable. This borders on incestual behavior on the parents part in your first statement, and also incestual behavior on the mother's part with the 14 year old . bathing with her sounds incestuous and downright disgusting the poor child. These people should be reported to childrens protective services.