Why teenagers are oftenly misunderstood?

Philippines
October 29, 2009 1:37am CST
Teenagers used to be tagged with the words hard headed, stubborn, self centered and other negative things but is it really the fault of teenagers why they act like that? Sometimes the parents also have fault why their youngsters are like that. Parents sometimes can admit that their babies are not babies anymore. Teenagers should be given a chance to do what they what and the role of parents is to guide them to choose the right path. This is only a comment.
14 responses
• Australia
29 Oct 09
I have been involved in children's and youth ministry for many years, and have conducted many study groups, fun times and camps with teenagers. I would have to say that my heart goes out to teens because I believe they are the most vulnerable people in the world. Teens are no longer children, but they are not yet adults. They really are living in a continually changing situation. They are changing in every sense. More change takes place in these years than in any other years of life. Teens are changing physically, emotionally, mentally, socially. They are being forced to make decisions: decisions which they are not really ready or equipped to make. The biggest problem for most teens is their self image. Most teens suffer from low self-esteem, which is often shown as the opposite - boastful, loud, outgoing, arrogant, defiant. Teens don't like to be told this, but the fact is that maturity does NOT happen in teenage years. Medically it is agreed that teens actually start maturing closer to about 20 years old, but this varies considerably according to their upbringing and experiences. From my observations of hundreds of teens over the years, I would have to say that those who had the most disciplined lives and happy, confident relationships with their parents, coped best, and became well-adjusted, happy adults. Let me stress, that I am talking here of positive discipline, NOT dictatorship. Why are teenagers often misunderstood? All of the above.
@Ravenladyj (22937)
• United States
29 Oct 09
Medically it is agreed that teens actually start maturing closer to about 20 years old, but this varies considerably according to their upbringing and experiences that is very true...My kids are and have always been very mature and wise for their ages...which is a good thing in many ways but has also at times been a downfall since they are mentally and emotionally ahead of their peers...The reason they are so ahead is because of their experiences..Unfortunatley my kids have been through a considerable amount more hardships and trauma than many adults I know so in many areas they had to grow up quicker.
• Australia
29 Oct 09
Experiences can work either way in the maturity process. In some cases, it will speed maturity and in others it will slow it down. In the case of your children, hardships and trauma matured them, but in some cases, it has the opposite effect. Evidently, your good mothering made a difference and turned the bad into good. Children in a well-balanced, happy home and receiving more training in life situations will also mature at a younger age.
@ronnyb (6120)
• Jamaica
29 Oct 09
Well sometimes teenagers are rightly tagged as all of those things .This is because many times teenagers think they are old enough to do as they feel like without obeuing their parents instructions and this is where the problems come.Many teenagers dont think that parenst were at the stage that they were at .With that said though many parents like you said cant see their teenagers as more than just their babies and this is somewhat annoying for teens who want an opportunity to express themselves.Consequently I think that some kind of bridge and compromise will have to be reached inw hich teh parents relinquish some of their autocratic rule and teenagers learn to respect the wishes of their parents.This will have to be done through frequent talks and teenagers earning the role to be respected by virtue of their action and behaviour.I mean lets face it if a teenager is not responsible ,it is difficult for a parent to treat that teen as an adult,great discussion
• Philippines
2 Nov 09
I got your point but I guess the parents should explain it to their teens so that they may understand each other, on the other hand, the teens must express their toughts so that their parents may understand them as well.. thanks for sharing ronny!
@MJAL08 (275)
29 Oct 09
teenagers think differently than adults do. Teens like me always think that the things we experience now are once in a lifetime and they will never happen again so we try to make everyday count and make the most of the moment while most adults want us to stop "this nonsense because there is time for everything". We think differently that the most simplest way to put it. Adults forgot fun and we're just getting started. We are really misunderstood.
• Philippines
30 Oct 09
I totally agree with you but which one do you think is right the teenagers or the adults? since they have different objectives.
@gunagohan (3415)
• India
29 Oct 09
i'm currently 19 now and i turn 20 this november, i'm almost going to cross my teen age... i have been given a 80% freedom by my parents, they restrict me only in some things, they will not allow me to talk with any new girls or some thing, unless they know about that girl .. other things i'm completely free... happy mylotting
• Philippines
30 Oct 09
Wow that'S sounds unusual to me! goodluck advance happy birthday!
@ybong007 (6658)
• Philippines
29 Oct 09
Blame it on the raging hormones, everybody passes this stage so why wonder? but I guess parents will always be parents and teenagers will always be teenagers and the cycle just continues. Cheers!
• Philippines
29 Oct 09
I think so and this cycle will never have an intesection so maybe they should just love each others lives.. is that what you mean ybong?
• India
29 Oct 09
Teenagers should share there feelings and thoughts with there parents. Even the way they address or say to the parents should be soft mean give respect while talking to them not that just shouting at them saying you cant understand. If the teenagers behave properly and make them understand they too may wont get any negative thoughts or use words as u said and even parents should understand the feelings of teenagers as they too have come from that stage only they too have seen there teenagers should understand the feelings of them. If we only get so much anger growing elder why not the teenagers our children get we should feel and sometimes even we too should adjust. The only way is should think of there teenage life how they used to feel and if any they have missed allowing there children to enjoy but within limits and even children so far called teenagers should understand this and follow there parents.....
• Philippines
29 Oct 09
yes parents should give their kids freedome with limitation because sometimes kids are getting sick with all the limitations. Kid wants to share there toughts to their parents but they are afrain because they don't want to be neglected because some parents doesn't care about the emotional aspect of their kids. Another reason why kids doesn't share is that parents are used to shouting at them whenever they commit mistakes.
@yamini1 (13)
• Malaysia
29 Oct 09
tenager from my time seem to be more street smart than teangr now.teengr now seem to not to want to interact with others like they use to.now all teens seem to want play video games and sit around inside the house and let the world go by.there missing out on so much living that it makes them seem losy and misunderstand
• Philippines
29 Oct 09
I agree with you but I guess for kids to know that their parents should tell them its negative outcome as soon as they see that thier kids are starting to be exposed to this kind of activity.
@Mypeeps (15)
• United States
30 Oct 09
A study showed beyond disbelief that something goes crazy in a teen's brain throughout puberty. Explaining this into thought, It's pretty easy for teens to fall victim to objects for example addictions of every types and connect in disobedient and aggressive behaviors because of curiosity, stress or probably foolishness. Keep in mind teen's brains aren't running right at the occasion. It's also a time to test and to live on the edge to test limits and parental supervision. Teenagers live through it and begin moving on. Why are there so many "adults" behaving like teenagers? You're more flat in making bad choices that can change you for the rest of your life. Your parents have good reason to be anxious, because even though you may not think it, they were teens previously and should know what's coming. Unluckily times are more risky nowadays than they used to be when teens were growing up, consequently they be concerned more. Teenagers hold a good reason to, as well as not being misunderstood. As for parents they heard that for ages. Teens need to trust their parents and trust themselves, through these trying times. You'll live during this situation since most of us have.
@emptydb (80)
29 Oct 09
For some parents, they are not just only so overprotective that they treat their kids like toddlers but also there are parents who are so busy with a lot of things like their work that they tend to forget that they have children too to attend to. Lack of time i guess is one of the problem why teenagers rebel or go out of their way just to make excuses to get the attention of their parents that's why they are often misunderstood.
@manong05 (5029)
• Philippines
29 Oct 09
Some parents want their children to look at things and understand them the way they (parents) do. On the other hand, children would also want their parents to look at things and understand them the way they (the children) do. Hence, the friction. When the children refuse to obey, they are called hard-headed. The same way when parents refuses to follow the childrens' wishes, they are labeled as hard-headed. Personally, I believe that parents are just stewards of life entrusted to them by the creator of life. We are here to prepare them for the days that they will be on their own. Children are not immature. They have their own level of maturity and they are. As a parent, I feel my responsibilities are to guide and give good advices. Ultimately, the children will grow and decide for themselves. When they were babies, 100% of decision making is on the shoulders of the parents and the babies are 0%, this continue to increase as the baby grows. Upon reaching teen-age years, they are roughly 50% sharing in decision making. By the time they are adults, the percentages are reversed. 100& rests on their shoulders and 0% for the parents. They are there as guides. Parenthood is never easy especially when children are on the teenage years. Constant heart to heart talk is necessary.
• Italy
29 Oct 09
I think all the labelling comes because parents are used to have us as kids (and under their control) for years, once we enter into teen years that kind of control starts slipping away...slowly but not always, so I guess they may have negative reactions, and that's probabily also the best way to ruin parents-teen relationships. But I suppose it's out of their control, I'm not a teen and not a parent so I'm just guessing.
@ebuscat (5949)
• Philippines
29 Oct 09
In the bible state that the attitude of the children in our society is to become worse it's the sign of last day's not for the attitude and also for the economy.
• United States
29 Oct 09
Parents can guide the teenagers on the right path but as humans we all have free will. If parents are to strict on their children then that will just cause the teen to sneak around and rebel against them. If a parent is to lenient then the teen will just do whatever they want without a care. Its really all in the hands of the teenager in deciding if they want to learn the easy way or the hard way. Life lessons will catch up to them eventually though.
@elmiko (6640)
• United States
29 Oct 09
yes parents do have that problem with not wanting to admit they don't have as much control over their child. also its not always the teenagers fault with the way they act as the brain hasn't fully developed until your in your mid 20s.