Life, it's the thing that happened while you were gone!

@Trensue (5253)
United States
October 30, 2009 3:13pm CST
My poor Dad! Now that Mom has passes away he has been reading her journals. Today he called me to apologize for missing so much of my life. I guess taking the time to read it all made him feel that he had missed a lot while he was just taking care of business. I tired to console him - I am sure he was there for all the big things (except the wedding of course) - I think it is just the way it was back then. Mom could stay home with the kids and he worked. I did have to remind him that before he retired my sister and I took turns calling Mom everyday because at that time she lived 16 hours away. After he retired he would say things like "state your business", we didn't have business we were just talking about dumb things - He is probably reading all those dumb things in her journal. I suggested that he take some time to spend with the grandkids now. We'll see how that works. What have you missed while you were at work? Is there really a way to avoid it?
2 people like this
10 responses
• United States
31 Oct 09
I call them "small moments". These where the times that I took as a single parent to have a quick special moment with my child. Life just zooms by it seems. Days turn into weeks and weeks turn into years. Once while loading groceries into the car with my child a squirrel ran up to us and crawled into a grocery sack. We laughed so hard we could hardly breathe. Well I had a clear plastic bag of shelled walnuts in that sack. We still say today I wonder if that squirrel knew?
1 person likes this
@Trensue (5253)
• United States
31 Oct 09
Thank you so much for sharing this with us today. What a great lesson.
@ahhh17 (10)
• China
31 Oct 09
Is still necssary to work every day, we need to constantly strive to make themselves and their families better off!
1 person likes this
@Trensue (5253)
• United States
31 Oct 09
Maybe - so the time together should be quality.
@cher913 (25890)
• Canada
31 Oct 09
my daughter is 12 and she still misses mommy when i am at work. i really hate having to work and missing this time with her. our older daughter is 16 and i really like to spend time with both of them.
1 person likes this
@Trensue (5253)
• United States
31 Oct 09
Keep them in your heart and all will be well.
• Australia
30 Oct 09
In surveys taken among the elderly, the top response given to the question about what they would do differently if they had their lives to live again was "spend more time with the family when they growing up". This was the main reply given by both men and women, even though these women were stay-at-home mums. The biggest responsibility we have in life - and the biggest privilege - is the lives of our children. Their early years determine much of their future. I was a 24/7 mum to my five sons, but if I had that time over again, I would do things a lot differently and spend even more time with them.
@Trensue (5253)
• United States
31 Oct 09
I couldn't have said it any better. Thanks for the life lesson.
@lelin1123 (15643)
• Puerto Rico
30 Oct 09
I missed being with my girls when they were babies because I had to work. With my first child I didn't have to go back to work for 6 months but with my second child I had to go back 6 weeks later that was the hardest thing ever. I missed their first of a lot of things which looking back is quite sad. Now I'm getting to enjoy the first of things while taking care of my granddaughter.
1 person likes this
@Trensue (5253)
• United States
31 Oct 09
Good for you - maybe being grandparents is our reward for living through parenthood!
@dlr297 (5418)
• United States
30 Oct 09
My dad was around after work and on the weekends...My mom was home with us kids all day long. My father took the time to spend time with all of us kids when he could, but the older that we got their was more time we got to spend with him. and he enjoyed his grandkids, and great-grandkids more because he was retired and could spend more time with them. I stayed home and took care of my kids 24/7, and my husband worked sometimes long hours to make sure that we had what we needed. But the weekends were always for the kids, we did a lot of camping, and fishing, and other family things all together, and now that the kids are older he spends one on one time with each of the kids when they are here for a visit. and we both get to spend time with the grandkids.
1 person likes this
@Trensue (5253)
• United States
31 Oct 09
I am happy to hear that so many are taking the time to spend with their families. I doubt that anyone will die saying "I should have ignored my family more."
@dawnald (84146)
• Shingle Springs, California
30 Oct 09
I don't get to spend time with my kids on weekdays. And yes, there's a way to avoid it. Possibly. In a much smaller house in a worse neighborhood we could maybe make it work with one of us not working.
• Australia
30 Oct 09
But the time you DO spend with the kids is QUALITY time, building happy memories for them. I'm sure the trips to school in the car will live long in their minds. They will remember the good humour and the care and encouragement received.
1 person likes this
@dawnald (84146)
• Shingle Springs, California
30 Oct 09
I certainly hope so!!!
1 person likes this
@Trensue (5253)
• United States
31 Oct 09
Quality is important and maybe that is what I had with Dad - I knew he was busy, but I did not feel neglected.
@Canellita (12058)
• United States
31 Oct 09
Wow, it's great that your mom kept journals that he can now go back and read. It is like he is being reacquainted with everyone through her eyes. He should look at it as an amazing gift and be happy he now has a slower pace to learn about all those things and enjoy more of his life instead of having to work all of the time.
@sheng143 (55)
• Philippines
31 Oct 09
No, It's a part of being alive. Sometimes you have to missed something to realize how impotant it is.
@ahhh17 (10)
• China
31 Oct 09
Your proposal well,we are doing their own thing ofter overlooked when people and things around us, we have to reflect on ah !