Do your partner always moan about your family?

@jugsjugs (13045)
October 31, 2009 9:45pm CST
My partner is always moaning about my family,where as he should look a bit closer at his own family.Where is his family when our children have been in hospital,or when i have been ill in hospital,no where to be seen.Where as my mum was there with my friends helping me with my 6 children while he was at work.He makes me soo angry.
2 people like this
22 responses
@mielshare (265)
• Philippines
2 Nov 09
Maybe your husband is feeling guilty so instead of thank you he moan about them. Just tell him what you feel and I hope you'll understan each other's poin of view.
1 person likes this
@solared (1210)
• United States
2 Nov 09
Well perhaps this could be a deal breaker in the future, everyone should be supportive regardless of likes thats what joining a family is all about.
@Wizzywig (7859)
1 Nov 09
No, I can't say he does...at least, not within my hearing There's only really my mum now & he wouldn't dare say anything bad about her !!! (She'd just shrug it off but I'd give him hell!)
1 person likes this
@dorannmwin (36698)
• United States
1 Nov 09
My husband complains about my family all the time and why I don't really understand. My mother was good enough to let us live with her while we were trying to get ourselves established. She didn't beg for us to move out on our own while there was a good chance that we would fail. However, his father was constantly nagging us to get a house of our own. He also constantly says things about my brother and sister who have really never been anything but good. Granted, they are both far younger than he is, but the fact of the matter is that we are very close and we all get along very well.
1 person likes this
@doormouse (4619)
1 Nov 09
my boyfriend moans about my kids,being rude and always arguing,but his kids probably did the same when they were younger,he just can't rememeber
1 person likes this
@besthope44 (12145)
• India
3 Apr 10
Well, thats really sad to hear jugs. I can understand how tough it will be and you need someone really at our bad times. I am happy that your family and friends are so nice to help you and your 6 children. Pray god, he will definitely brings good for your parents.
@climber7565 (2579)
• United States
8 Nov 09
well that is interesting, but you do realize we all need family, make our own family and just because he talks about his native family, it does not mean he does not appreciate you and his own family. He too has the right to miss his native maternal family. Maybe its because the are not there for him and he wishes they were
@suzzy3 (8357)
4 Nov 09
Having read your previous discussions,I suggest you have a word with your husband and tell him you are not very happy and could he pay a bit more attention to you.Tell him not to moan about your family as you love them and it hurts your feelings.I always say if you have nothing nice to say be quiet.
@trisha27 (3498)
• United States
3 Nov 09
Sometimes my husband does that but not often. Only when we are going through something and then sometimes our family is nowhere to help. But in return his family has not been helping us also. When he has asked them for help and then they mention that they will help and then in return they change their mind and then for that fact they don't even tell you that they have changed their mind and they leave us hanging and wondering what happened and we thought they would help. Thats what aggrivates me sometimes with his family. Although, I can kind of understand why sometimes my family is unable to help us, when we do need help, because they are not living in the same area as we are and sometimes, they will give us names of people that they know that could possibly help us and sometimes I think that is their way of helping us. Although, he doesn't see that as them helping us and that they are just shoving us off to someone else. I think that sometimes, too, although they say when we have a problem to let them know and they can help us. But sometimes I think that my family has been more helpful to us then his own.
@dragon54u (31637)
• United States
2 Nov 09
My ex was never much interested in my family but offered to build a little house behind ours for my mother. He liked her but he wasn't a sociable person when it came to family. He still likes my mom but she prefers not to have any contact with him after he filed for divorce, it was a very nasty situation and the marriage was very unhappy for me. You can't change your husband or your family so you have to figure out how much you're willing to accept and what you can live with.
@Hatley (164484)
• Garden Grove, California
2 Nov 09
hi jugsjugs My husband used to tease me about some of my family but he was not a moaner.he had a devilish sense of humor and would make me laugh. I seldom got upset at his teasing as it was not the whiny sort of thing,just gentle humor. His own sister made a comment about me that 'really hurt me, and I made the error of telling him about it, and'if I had not stopped him he would have phoned her long distance and bawled her out. oh my If he still moans after'having fathered six kids, I would let him know that he has gone way too far. then you start some moaning of your own.Seriously why not point out to him what you 'have told us. It might just do the trick.
@enola1692 (3325)
• United States
1 Nov 09
no its theother way around I moan about his family they are like yoy were describing they talk about the middle grandson he is 12 inbetween my daughters an if i call the inlaws to tell them something like when my daughter was going to plat her violin in front of alot f people at carrowwinds they changed the subject to tell me what little micheal is doin an we just took our youngest to the eye doctor anI was telling my in law she has to get glasses an my inlaw told me micheal had a cough who cares what he has aaahhh it drives me nuts
• Malaysia
1 Nov 09
I would rather keep quiet for a while than 'moaning' about something that I do not feel satisfied about my hubby's family because it can be offended. I will bring up the matter when I see that he is in a good mood or when he strikes a conversation about it, and then only I would talk about it. I think we both realize that family issues can be very sensitive, so, we have to be very careful what we say or how we deliver what we are going to say.
@angelajoy (1839)
• Philippines
1 Nov 09
My partner and I don't complain about our families much, but sometimes I complain about his brothers. But don't get me wrong. I'm not a whiner. It just so happened that I had a lot to complain about his brothers because they took my family's money and promised us a lot of things that didn't happen. In the end my parents just asked them to return the money, but they still didn't. In short, they stole from my family. And it's not just my family. They also stole from me. And it was my hard-earned money. My boyfriend is very understanding, so he doesn't get mad whenever I rant about his brothers or whenever I quarrel with them.
@getbrowser (1715)
• China
1 Nov 09
This situation is really common in most family. Every time when I meet such a so bad situation, I really feel confused because we can do nothing but to put up with each other. You see, on side is my partner, the other side is my family, it is really a difficult task to show which of us is right or wrong. Both them are our best relatives. Perhaps it is just because they are not familiar with each other and then, misunderstanding and moan is really common. Everything goes well! Happy myLotting!
@jerimiyah (232)
• Philippines
1 Nov 09
that is really sad. i hope he would hear himself talking like that and realise what is really wrong.
• United States
1 Nov 09
My husband and I mutually complain about members of our families. There are members on both sides that we like to moan about but there has never really been anyone that he has complained about on my side or has there ever been anyone on his side that I have complained about to where I think we have gotten upset with each other. We both know that our families are flawed but we are with each other not our families. There are things about my side that are both good and bad and vice versa, we have just learned to deal.
@lkbooi (16101)
• Malaysia
1 Nov 09
Hi jugsjugs, luckily that my partner doesn't have such moaning habit. He respect my parents as well as loves my siblings. We don't have other closed relatives live near us. After marriage I live with my husband, his nephew, eldest sister and her mom. I'm glad that I could get along with them pleasantly and harmoniously as well But my husband's second younger sister always moans about her husband's parent. They always complain about her on this and that. Therefore whenever she visits us she would cry and confide all her unhappiness and grievance in front of her mom. My mother in law would complain this to later on. Seems that the husbands parents are not pleased with their daughter in law. We ask her husband to move out and live in another house but he refuses to do that. What to do and we couldn't force him to do so. His sister also feels reluctant to leave her husband. So the endless sad story keeps going on .... Wish you all the best and happy posting
@GardenGerty (102671)
• United States
1 Nov 09
Both of us are rapidly losing our families, so we know better than to moan about it. Except for my sister, we both groan about her and her problems, both real and imaginary. I am sorry that it is so hard to get good help
@drannhh (15240)
• United States
1 Nov 09
That is pretty natural and something most wives probably have to put up with at least on occasion, but instead of being angry it would help to just point some of those facts out in a polite but confident way without blame or confrontation, as in "I can see where mum might seem a bit much for you, but we would have to have paid a nanny over $300 a week if mum hadn't been here to help me. Of course, I want you to be happy dear, so if you would rather we hire someone..." Rule number one in surviving in a relationship: if they dump on you, always turn it back on them, but do it nicely, in a business like way. I have a certain relative (we'll call him X) who got on my husband's last nerve so bad that he traded two of his relatives (we'll call them Y and Z) for X. Yes, we made a deal that if I didn't let my X come over and mooch off us, he would keep both X and Z off our premises. When we made the deal I thought "Sure, he will turn about when the time comes..." but to my surprise, he kept his promise. The next time Y called and announced he would be visiting us, hubby told him straight out, "No you won't. No more mooching, get a hotel room!" That worked really well, because Y got mad and told Z and neither one of them ever tried to come around again. Yayyyy! Then when X made contact, I told him exactly what we had done. I said "I'll hate to miss you, but I got such a GOOD deal from hubby. He said if you didn't come over any more he wouldn't let Y and Z mooch either. Nothing personal, you understand..." Actually, X was kind of proud to learn that he was worth two of hubby's relatives. Hah!