What Attracts People to You? Your Personality or Looks?

United States
November 2, 2009 11:09am CST
I have a lot of love for myself, so what I'm about to say isn't an attempt to slap myself in the face. I was never thought of as a irresistible babe or anything like that, but at the same time I wasn't the beast's mother either (of course no one is.) I don't seem to draw many people, but the people I do draw, or have drawn were drawn towards my personality rather than my looks. I'm not only speaking of a love attraction here, but anyone under the sun. The friends I have now are drawn to my personality because I have a silly sense of humor that they just can't resist because it lightens their day everytime, even if it's a bad day. I'm always seeking new friends because I love people in general. I love to encourage them and try to squeeze a quick smile out of them, but I'm not saying it always works, but it does work enough times to count for something. I enjoy interacting with people so much, I went and created a blog for that purpose, so people can get to know who I really AM. It's nothing scary though. So the question... What attracts people to you at least most of the time?
10 people like this
52 responses
@savypat (20246)
• United States
2 Nov 09
I am an unremarkable looking person, but I do have the type of personality that seems to attract soem people. I am never the most popular person in the group but can be outspoken and seems to appeal to some.
2 people like this
• United States
2 Nov 09
Hi Pat! You know there are some people who actually think they are unattractive, but that isn't true. I think we are what we believe we are. Some people may not be attractive to overweight people (for example), but does that mean an overweight person can't be attractive? Then again there are other people who drools over overweight people, and prefer to date them over thinner people. Here's another point...if we see ourselves as beautiful inside AND out, then guess what? We are..
@agv0419 (3029)
• Philippines
3 Nov 09
I think everybody attracted to good looking men or women. I think looks is not always important in friendship or relationship. Attitude is more important that good looks. Other people get attractive to the people who are funny and bubbly.
1 person likes this
@gicolet (1704)
• United States
2 Nov 09
When I was younger I attracted people with my looks....boys will always be boys...they like pretty girls. It actually did NOT flatter me to be honest. I never wanted to be liked because of my physical features. Like you, I have a very good sense of humour. I even won in a comedy skit I wrote back in high school. I love making people laugh. I like being in a crowd. I hate seeing people looking sad and depressed. I always find a way to cheer them up. I always want to be liked for my personality, not my looks. Well I'm a mother of 2 girls now (15 and 12 yrs old) and I keep on telling them don't let boys like you because you have pretty faces...you have to be liked for your inner beauty. Beauty will fade away but good personality should last forever.
2 people like this
• United States
2 Nov 09
That's very good advice to give your daughters. They deserve to be loved and accepted for who they are in the inside, we all do.
@zandi458 (27952)
• Malaysia
2 Nov 09
I don't know what is there in me that is so attractive to others that it sometimes make me wonder. Maybe my friendly disposition and my talkative nature is my strongest point to make anyone be comfortable around me. First impression counts a lot and I am one that is not stingy in flashing my smile to anyone I meet for the first time. This free smile is something that is inviting and can easily magnetize a stranger. It comes automatic when I meet anybody and this has become my trademark which benefit my business a lot. I am no stranger when it comes to public relation as I can easily strike conversation with anyone and that person will end up having a strong impression of me.
2 people like this
• United States
2 Nov 09
That's a wonderful quality to have, and it's priceless! My smile may not be one of my best traits that draws people, but it helps a lot and can go a long ways.
@omiami (412)
• Malta
2 Nov 09
I think its the personality and i believe that is what it counts after all. With the looks only you dont go further but having a good personality counts a lot.
2 people like this
• United States
2 Nov 09
You're right, I am living proof that personality goes a long ways, a lot further than looks could. A beautiful personality shines from the inside AND out.
@kun2349 (23475)
• Singapore
3 Nov 09
I think, my looks dun really attract much ple as compared to personality?? Or maybe vice versa too?? lol =D Looks do play an important part in real life, for first impression counts.. BUt when it comes to online, personality plays a much important part as they will reflect what kind of person we are ^_^ If one can be attracted to us via personality, it shows that we have got what it takes, to cheer them up ^_^ Making them looking forward to us.. haha =D And that's how i got my mommy here!! lol =D
1 person likes this
• United States
3 Nov 09
Ha ha! Fabulous point! There sure are some wise people on Mylot.
1 person likes this
@ckyera (17261)
• Philippines
4 Nov 09
haha...i guess your personality have attracted many people here...haha coz you were able to make them happy with your funny & witty posts...
1 person likes this
@kun2349 (23475)
• Singapore
5 Nov 09
hehe ^_^ Finally, i have attracted u here, ckyera.. hehe ^_^ My magnetic fied is indeed strong huh?? Or rather, we have never left each other at all.. hehe I think u are the most happy of them all, for u are smiling alone, and have story telling times.. lol =D
@dragon54u (31635)
• United States
2 Nov 09
It definitely isn't my looks! People are attracted to my personality. I like to laugh, have a good time but I also have a very serious and contemplative side and I can be a very deep thinker. Men latch onto me as a sister or best friend, I don't attract too many women.
1 person likes this
• United States
2 Nov 09
Hi dragon54u! So you are a deep-thinker huh? That's interesting. You know what? I wonder why guys are drawn to me as a friend more than women are. When I was in school, I had more friend boys than friend girls.
1 person likes this
• United States
2 Nov 09
Hold on...I think it's still like that.
1 person likes this
@dragon54u (31635)
• United States
3 Nov 09
I'm that way, too. I have one female friend that I'm close to--she's married to my best male friend! All the rest of my close friends are men, I just don't get close to women for some reason. That's okay, though, I love men--I just don't want to be romantically involved with them anymore!
1 person likes this
• Malaysia
3 Nov 09
many of my friends new or old they just attracted to my personality at first..becuase they said that im a happy go lucky person where loved to laugh out loud and having a good sense of humor.. im not a person that having a very good look but still grateful what god gives me..sometimes people said im cute LOL =D dont too humble for yourself..for me personality comes first even we dont have a charming look..moreover what a waste if charming look is come with a annoying personality?
1 person likes this
• United States
3 Nov 09
I just love your style; the way you speak truth upfront.
• Malaysia
4 Nov 09
you gotta like me..haha
@celticeagle (121017)
• Boise, Idaho
3 Nov 09
Hello there! I have alot of love for myself as well. I was never thought of that way either. I think your love of people shows through. I think that your personality, realism and sense of purpose shows through and is what attracts people as well as the outer shell. Most people have very good characteristics.
• United States
3 Nov 09
Thanks for your response. Bless your heart! And yes you're right, most people have very good characteristics, even the ones that can't see the good in themselves. That's where I try to come in and point it out for them.
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (121017)
• Boise, Idaho
4 Nov 09
And I think there should be more people like you in the world. Too few. Sad.
1 person likes this
@paula27661 (15899)
• Australia
3 Nov 09
The beauty here is that we can get to know one another and looks don’t get in the way! I don’t consider myself an ugly person but having said that I rarely look in the mirror because as I have grown older I have learnt not to place that much importance on looks and work on my personality instead. Being a woman I allow vanity does to take over sometimes. A good sense of humour is one of the most attractive qualities...
1 person likes this
• United States
3 Nov 09
Wow you really don't look in the mirror much? That's interesting. Well I don't look in the mirror too much, but I do when I brush my teeth, or comb my hair. Although I keep myself up, I tend to focus more on my personality.
1 person likes this
@paula27661 (15899)
• Australia
4 Nov 09
Don't get me wrong I do like to look nice and even make an effort occasionally! I just don't like to focus on looks too much that's all...Of course I look in the mirror to put make up on, do my hair etc.
1 person likes this
• United States
2 Nov 09
I would like to say that most people would agree with me when I say it is my personality and presence. I know when I used to work outside of the home before I strictly worked for my own business, I'd gain a number of friends the first day I was at a place of employment because I like to talk to everyone, be kind to everyone, include everyone, make light of any and all situations, etc. The one thing I've noticed attracts people to others is an optimistic, fun attitude. I didn't always have that kind of attitude and was a loner most my life. Then a life altering event caused me to drastically change...and now I've got people I can't get away from that I've worked with, etc. Not that I'd want to get away from them...they just really want to keep in touch with me, and it feels good to know they care about keeping me in their lives! Another thing is like you mentioned...a silly sense of humor. Someone who finds humor in any and all things is one that attracts people like a magnet. I like to make people laugh myself...I like to do corny little dances in public to embarrass myself and make my friends or husband laugh. I love having fun in situations where people really...shouldn't. Haha! I tend to get comments from strangers when I go into public places..."How much coffee did you drink this morning?" and "What in the world made you so happy?" I think the very way I present myself to people also lets them open up to me. I can have fun, I can give advice, but I can also listen intently and offer feedback to people's problems, etc. I once went grocery shopping with my husband and ended up staying there for an hour talking to a woman about her health condition...her life growing up, why her parents wouldn't talk to her after she moved out, etc. My poor husband was done grocery shopping and leaning on the cart by that point, but at least the woman got to pour her feelings out to someone who cared, even though I never saw her before and haven't seen her since. I admire you for trying to brighten other's days...doing this myself on an everyday basis, I definitely know that not enough people care about the general feelings and moods of others, especially strangers. If I make a happy comment to someone and they scowl, just laugh and continue. There's another person down the line in the midst of a horrible day who can take that comment and roll with it.
1 person likes this
• United States
3 Nov 09
Now your sounding too much like me...He he! You have a lot of good qualities, and you are a very unselfish person. It really breaks my heart to see someone else in any type of pain, so that motivates me to do what I can to help them see life in another way despite of the pain. Yes it can be extremely hard, that's why the world needs more people like you and me. Bless your heart! and keep'em smiling!
1 person likes this
• United States
3 Nov 09
Ah, you explained it perfectly. My life goal is definitely to help others see the light and not the darkness in life. Life is too awesome to go through it moping around, complaining about everything, and making others miserable. Thank you for the compliments. I could say the same for you.
1 person likes this
• United States
3 Nov 09
When I was younger and considered not too bad looking I think it was my looks that initially attracted them to me but it was my personality and character that made them become real friends with me.
1 person likes this
• United States
3 Nov 09
Oh yea, that's usually how it works.
• Italy
3 Nov 09
I prefer to know people because of there personality, that is what lasts over times
1 person likes this
• United States
3 Nov 09
Right! Me too...
@haiershen (1084)
• China
3 Nov 09
of course, personality is an important parts to attracts people on me. i'm a ordinary person with an simple face.lol,you can find the same face on street,in my opinion,a good relationship always standed by a long time,outter beauty can not be attract somebody for ever.good luck and have a nice day!
1 person likes this
• United States
3 Nov 09
I agree! You have a beautiful day too!
@mareca11 (212)
• Philippines
3 Nov 09
Call me anything you want but I'd go for looks before the personality. I know some of you would choose personality, I don't know what's wrong with me but often times I'd go for looks. Personality just comes in second. I mean, you can find a guy/girl who's good looking and at the same time has good personality right?
1 person likes this
• United States
3 Nov 09
Sure you can find BOTH qualities in one person. I have both qualities, and so does my husband. We both hit the JACKPOT!
@jayzelle (76)
3 Nov 09
personality is more important than on physical attributes of a person.. You are beautiful if you have a good personality.
1 person likes this
• United States
3 Nov 09
You said it right...
• United States
3 Nov 09
unfortunately most people are attracted to me first because of my looks. i never wanted to look like i do (some people think i look like angelina jole with smaller lips and shorter) but i'm stuck with it so i have to weed out the people who come to me out of physical attraction and have no care for my personality and the ones who do like who i really am. i like to think i have a good personality a lot of people like me and think i'm cool tho i know i'm prone to being a big meanie sometimes.
1 person likes this
• United States
3 Nov 09
You're right. Real love is based on inner beauty.
@voldrox (7204)
• India
3 Nov 09
hi miraclefreebies well i am a certainly a lot more open here posting this and that over here at mylot, but you would be amazed to see me in real life i guess, i am the silent speak less mysterious kinds, i have seen the expressions on other's faces, people who are never going to understand me, they always keep wondering about me, i don't look any special just another ordinary guy... but something has got to do with my personality i am sure, and i know it attracts many people, i may look mean but you can only know after having frequent conversations with me... i just feel quite open expressing myself here, but meet me in real and notice
1 person likes this
• United States
3 Nov 09
Hi voldrox! Thanks for stopping by. For some people it seems to be a lot easier to open up online because you're sitting behind the computer screen rather than having to look'em in the face and talk. Everyone has a comfort zone, what they feel more comfortable with.
@angelajoy (1839)
• Philippines
3 Nov 09
I always go for someone's personality, although I have to admit that looks help me form my first impression about a person. But I don't let looks blind me from the truth about a person. Just because a person is beautiful doesn't mean that he or she is also beautiful inside, and just because a person is ugly doesn't mean that he or she is also ugly inside.
1 person likes this
• United States
3 Nov 09
That's wise thinking my friend. I totally agree...
• United States
3 Nov 09
well i know i got personality, im sure most people a drawn to my charisma and ability to be "out going" i dont look to bad id say but whats the scale of what looks are really worth....
1 person likes this
• United States
3 Nov 09
That's the right attitude to have!
@solared (1210)
• United States
2 Nov 09
Both I dunno, I have a good personality so probably that first and I'm quite humorous.
• United States
3 Nov 09
We all can use a bit of humor to keep us on our toes.