What happened before I wrote a poem!

@sanuanu (11241)
India
November 2, 2009 6:48pm CST
Before I start this discussion.. this is the continuation of the discussion I started just prior to this which had the titile "I don't know if it is allowed but...." So, every one is asking why I have not spoken to the girl yet. The reason is in my last breakup. When I had been in "love" two years ago and the girl dumped me for some reason I don't remember!!! I have literly lost my two precious years from my career. I have left the job because I thought the place used to remind me of her and left the city because this was the city I found her and lost her. Went back to back home and the recession period started just after that and I couldn't get any job. Now, I think that had I not been fallen in love with Sanwi.. I could have been in a better position like now I am in... So, this time when I came back to New Delhi, I have decided that I will not fall in love. Even if I would like a girl, I would not take any initiative but.... As you know no one can change his/her destiny! I have found a girl here in my office and gradually I started liking her. One day, there was a compitition(till now I didn't know if I was in love with her) in our office. All the boys were asked to vote for the best dressed girl and (I don't know why) I voted for her as she was the best on that day. She didn't win and surprisingly she got only one vote and that was from me(strange isn't it). The team leader told this to everybody and she came to know about it. That was the first day when she was very happy and I could see her smiling at me. I realized that this is not good as I am getting in love with her. Till then I used to talk with her every day. Flirting was also one of the thing which I used to do with her. From that day onwards, I decided that no, it is not good and I must not carry on this thing. Hence, I have started ignoring her. She obviously came to know that I was ignoring her and in return she also started ignoring me. Now a days, I don't get even a smile from her! Ah, but the more I am avoiding the more I am getting in love with her! Isn't it Bad!?!?
5 people like this
10 responses
• United States
3 Nov 09
Hi! Playing games is just hurting both of you. One woman's foolishness doesn't mean all women will b foolish. Give yourself and this lovely coworker a chance. It just might be the best thing that ever happened to you!
2 people like this
• Mexico
3 Nov 09
Hi cobrateacher: i completely agree with you. We can't judge men or women for the actions of one of them we are all different and everybody needs at least one oportunity. It's better to love and lost that never love at all at some people say you know. Hope our friend takes the right decition. Thabnks for your answer.
1 person likes this
@sanuanu (11241)
• India
4 Nov 09
Yes, my mind and heart is fighting every moment in my life. Mind says don't do it and heart says, take one more chance!
@Canellita (12059)
• United States
12 Nov 09
What you are describing is infatuation, not love. You seem to be a young idealistic person who enjoys the idea of romantic love like the stuff in the movies and novels but isn't quite ready for the realities of real love. Love is messy and painful and a host of other things but you have to be willing able and STRONG enough to take the bitter with the sweet. You don't even talk to this woman. You are in love with an idea of her that you have built up in your head. You will never know true love with someone until you get out of your head and start living in the real world. Ask the woman to lunch already. Find out what she likes and does not like; her plans for the future. If after a while the two of you think you have something in common maybe you can start a relationship.
1 person likes this
@sanuanu (11241)
• India
12 Nov 09
That is the reason why girls say that I am still a kid!
@Canellita (12059)
• United States
13 Nov 09
It might help if you stop referring to them as girls.
1 person likes this
@Canellita (12059)
• United States
14 Nov 09
Thanks for the BR! You should ask your coworker if she has a moment to talk and then tell her you wanted to ask what she honestly thought of your poem because she was smiling until she got to the end of it. Tell her you don't want to make her uncomfortable but you are just curious as you did not want to offend.
1 person likes this
@dawnald (84124)
• Shingle Springs, California
3 Nov 09
In order to get what you want, you have to take chances. You can hide in a hole and never get hurt, but will you be happy? You open your heart to somebody, you are running the risk of getting hurt, but you are also taking a chance at great happiness. Do you want to be an old man of 76 saying "I never got hurt"? Or do you want to look back and say "I took some changes and some of them were worth it"?
1 person likes this
@sanuanu (11241)
• India
3 Nov 09
I can see what you are up to but.. Things are not that easy as I have tried to talk to her but she is like a hot chili. Very difficult to get an attraction from her. I think I did a hard(?) work to make her smile by looking at me. I could see her coming to me but then I avoided her. Now, even if I want to make further steps, it is very very very difficult, isn't it? Tommorrow, I will hit another discussion in which I will let you know about my try of giving my feelings to her! Let's see how it goes, isn't it?
2 people like this
@dawnald (84124)
• Shingle Springs, California
3 Nov 09
It could be very difficult, but then I don't know the girl or how she feels about you.
1 person likes this
@zed_k4 (17634)
• Singapore
4 Nov 09
I like the hiding in a hole part..
• India
9 Dec 09
Hello my friend sanuanu Ji, So nice of you, I am with your feelings. But remember, 'MAN PROPOSES, GOD DISPOSES' is a very old saying. At the same time, if both of are meant for each other, no one can seperate you. God id tehre to take care of you. I think, one should remain tension free and normal without flitering, trying to remain cool/ May God bless You and have a great time.
1 person likes this
@sanuanu (11241)
• India
10 Dec 09
Thank you very much for the good wishes for me. i will remember it for my life tim!
1 person likes this
• India
10 Dec 09
Hello my friend sanuanu Ji, Wishing you all teh best. Maintain all possitive appraoach from your side by renmaining cool and waiting turning of table up-side. May God bless You and have great time.
1 person likes this
@mommaj (22732)
• United States
3 Nov 09
Okay, now I understand the poem. All I can say is shame on you. First, it is usually not a good idea to chase a relationship at work. The reason is like what happened to you, if you break up there will be hostilities or maybe one won't be able to continue working at the job for personal reasons and have to leave. You have to decide if you like your job enough to not let personal feelings get in the way. Second, stop playing games. I take it you are young. The poor girl probably is totally confused now and thinks you somehow insulted her by ignoring her. Rightly so in my opinion. The poem you wrote might help you out of the situation you put yourself in. Put it on her desk and sign it. Then follow it up with asking her out. Third, in order to experience love you have to open up. You can't send mix signals and expect someone to continue acting the same way they used to act toward you. Two things may happen when you send mix signals: the person might get frustrated and just not bother with you anymore or secondly, if they want to know you or know you well they will slap you in the back of the head and ask you what the heck is wrong with you. I hope you can work it out. Good luck.
1 person likes this
@sanuanu (11241)
• India
4 Nov 09
yes, that was the thing why I was so scared going in front of her. I know I did a mistake but it will be only me who is gona make it worse or better. i would like to make it little better that what it is right now. Now, the best thing for me to say sorry to her, so that the uncomfortness between her and me gets over. One thing I know that she will now not like me even if I would say sorry to her. Even if she accepts it and forgives me, since I was stupid, she might now choose me as even a good friend but that is okay with me. I think the best thing for me is to say sorry to her! Let her know why I did those thing.
@mommaj (22732)
• United States
4 Nov 09
Maybe once you apologize and explain why you did what you did she will forgive you. If you have a lot of patience, give her a letter with the apology and explanation in it. Then see how things go for a week. If she doesn't slug you and you still have feelings for her, put the poem on her desk. If she starts talking to you again, ask her out. Just be sure you can handle the rejection or you can deal with working at the same place she does. Only you can decide that.
1 person likes this
@twoey68 (13662)
• United States
12 Nov 09
It sounds to me like you need to decide which is more important...work or women. You sent her the message that you were interested by flirting with her and then you stopped and sent the message that you weren't interested. It would upset and irritate any woman. I guess you need to make up your mind before you start flirting. [b]~~I AM WHO I AM~~ **STANDING STRONG IN MY BELIEFS**[/b]
1 person likes this
@sanuanu (11241)
• India
13 Nov 09
Yes, I understand that and I made a mistake and this is not for the first time I made myself confused but it has happened before also. I make myself confused by taking invalid decisions!
@Louc74 (620)
3 Nov 09
Awww, Sanuanu! Love's a tricky business! From the sounds of the activities in your office, it seems to me as if your poem will be shown to all of your colleagues before long, which will cause you more embarrassment. She might appreciate it if you just approached her, told her you're sorry you started ignoring her, but you were embarrassed at the time because your team leader drew attention to the fact that you voted for her. Then just ask if you can be friends again. Most people appreciate honesty, and it would put you back on an even footing, where you're at least speaking again, and hopefully friends, without having to expose your feelings straight away with the poem. Good luck, whatever you do! :)
1 person likes this
@sanuanu (11241)
• India
4 Nov 09
That is a great idea. Thank you so very much. Why didn't it come to my mind. Oh, if I can get friendship with that girl I will fulfil one of your wish! That is a promise!
• Mexico
3 Nov 09
Hi sanuanu: it seems that you're in a bad situation isn't it my friend? You want to control your feelings because it's probably that you will suffer because of that. This makes part of love and off course of life. Don't stop doing what you really want to do, express your feelings even if this could hurt you, probably you could have an opportunity with her. Give a chance to your own happiness. Even if everything's gone wrong at least you'd live your own life. Life it's full of mistakes we can't change this. Have a nice day.
1 person likes this
@sanuanu (11241)
• India
4 Nov 09
Yes, for the first two days, I tried to control my feelings but it seems that I couldn't control it and by the time, I realized that it is impossible for me, it was too late and now you won't belive that she even not give a look at me. The same girl who was always eager to have a tlak with me, is not even want to see me! This is what I have done with the relationship! With every day, I think this is getting worse!
@paula27661 (15900)
• Australia
4 Nov 09
Ah! Sanuanu, it is making sense now! You know you cannot hide from how you feel and to hide yourself away from love because of past hurt means that you may miss out true happiness the next time around! You have to take another chance, life is richer with love in it and you will never have that if you shut yourself away from it. You have given this poor girl very mixed messages, smiling and flirting with her one day and ignoring her the next, no wonder she’s not talking to you! If you have real feelings for this girl I would not let chance pass you by, life is short and if you don’t take a chance you may regret for a long time to come. I think you may need to do some explaining to her first. Good luck my friend!
1 person likes this
@srganesh (6349)
• India
3 Nov 09
sanuanu!It is highly impossible to avoid beautiful girls in our life.They will come like waves in an ocean.And there are more chances for us to fall in love with all of them.Now,as you have a bitter rejection before,you want to play things carefully and at the same time don't want to lose this job too.Then,keep your mind closed and give a hint to your parents that you are ready for marriage.Once you get married,this beautiful girls will not torture you like this.You can put them into your dreams.Cheers!