Is This Legal or Illegal?

@payout (3722)
United States
November 3, 2009 7:16pm CST
My boyfriend sister has been staying with us for months and we let her live there for free. Well she was not obeying our simple rules. So it was time for her to go. Well yeah.. in Conclusion She made a big show in our APT... I'm like What.Ever.. but we told her she has to get her stuff. And I just want to know if it is illegal to take the rest of her stuff and throw it away. Is there a amount of days when She has to get her stuff Our APT isn't no place where you can leave all this stuff. And I'm not talking about little stuff it takes a good fraction of our living Room. We keep telling her to get her stuff and she slowly gets little things not the big things so I figure she must not care about it so... She must not want it. If she did want it she will hurry up and rent a truck or get a friend that has a truck and get the rest of her stuff. it has been since Halloween. the day we kick her out...? So yeah.. I need a ANSWER.. I understand that it's different in Some states. but She was living with us for free and our leasing Lady didn't know..
6 people like this
18 responses
• United States
4 Nov 09
If she was not LEGALLY living there, as in, she was not on the lease or anything like that, there are really no laws about how long you have to keep her stuff around before tossing it to the curb. If she already has a plce to stay, you would think she would have either gotten her stuff already, or made arrangments with you as to WHEN she would get her stuff. One thing you do have to keep in mind though, is no matte rhow angry you were at her when you asked her to leave, she is STILL your boyfriends sister, and doing anything too rash, such as tossing her stuff to the curb before she can retrieve it, might make a lasting impact on his and her relationship, not to mention the relationship between you and the rest of his family. If you plan on being with him for some time, you might might to think twice before burning bridges with her so quickly. I would suggest contacting her and giving her a date, even if it is like one week from now, saying that what ever stuff she left there that she wants, she needs to come get, or it will be gone, as you need you space back. I think that is reasonable.
2 people like this
@sid556 (31005)
• United States
4 Nov 09
Actually, there is a law that if you allow someone to live in your home for 2 weeks they are considered "living there" and not mere guests. Landlords use this law all the time to evict people living in a place that are not on the lease....they can't claim to be just "guests" after 2 weeks. This girl could turn around and fight being kicked to the curb with no notice.....they should be grateful she did not and not further antagonize the issue.
1 person likes this
@minx267 (14585)
• Hartford, Connecticut
4 Nov 09
Sid is correct. Whether a person is paying rent or not once they have established residency, like having their mail sent their etc. If they don't want to leave they don't have to with out a legal eviction. Which could take months. A friend of mine was paying mortgage on a condo, met someone in the same complex who had a woman staying with her. When they started dating he started staying over her house. To have more alone time they had the other woman live in his condo. He still paid the mortgage. Well when she started causing trouble and he asked her to leave, she refused. the cops were called and could do nothing because she had been there for a couple of months. They started proceedings to evict her.. By the time that had come about she had sold almost everything in his apartment!!! Stuff from his childhood, collections, everything gone! you have to be very careful when it comes to letting people live with you nowadays.
@payout (3722)
• United States
5 Nov 09
Well.. I figure.. if she wanted her stuff bad she will come and get it.. and Plus.. she try to say she was going to call the police on me.. psh... to be honest she burned her bridges with us.. Yes thats my boyfriends family.. but I don't play that crap... I wasn't put on this earth to be like by anyone.. Also my boyfriend.. was stressing a lot.. then pass out then we had to bring him to the ER His family wasn't there didn't even bother to ask how he was or come see him I was there.. and my family was.. so.. FORGET them.. Family doesn't do that.. ALL I can say is she better get her stuff out.
@olepmis (843)
• Philippines
4 Nov 09
May I know the age of your bf's sister? It she is matured enough to live by herself and she is working then she should move out. If she is not getting all her stuff it means that she does not like the idea of moving out. Just place her stuff in a place you don't use so you won't be bothered by it. Please show her kindness because she is your bf's sister. Also, tell her that you need space.
1 person likes this
@payout (3722)
• United States
4 Nov 09
She is 24 years old and she got a place to stay now and she has 3 kids.. she just upset because we kicked her out.. because didn't go by our rules mess up our rug.. and walls.. and dirty like crazy.. tired of it.. put up with all this crap.. plus she owes me 325 dollars for watching her kids and plus she got a job.. ... and more... help from the government. .. So she needs to start being a mature person / Mother and get her stuff out... It's only one bedroom APT and so.. her stuff is a big bother.. I have sofa set coming in but where can I put it if all her stuff takes like a good fraction of our living room.. So me being nice has gone too far.. Now being mean.. is my only option .. so she can move and do something with herself
@olepmis (843)
• Philippines
4 Nov 09
Well, you have all the rights to move her stuff out of your apartment fast or deliver them to the place where she lives so that you won't see them anymore. That's another sacrifice for you but you will shorten your disappointments/disgusts toward her. My goodness she is one of the parasites that should have been eliminated a long time ago.
1 person likes this
@payout (3722)
• United States
5 Nov 09
I know.. she is driving us crazy. but thank God she is gone.. but.. I try to be reasonable.. but hey.. Sometimes you just have to be mean to get things done.. and go crazy to let people know your serious.
• Chile
4 Nov 09
since halloween?? well that`s not a lot of time... u can always give her one month, to get a new place and to start again... just keep all the thing all together in a place... not in order.. just in a dark room... i do not know if it`s illegal... it all depends of the rules and regulation of every country... so probably u must ask there, to someone who knows... sorry not been more helpfull good luck with ur problem.
1 person likes this
@payout (3722)
• United States
4 Nov 09
well we gave her.. months to find a place she just was being lazy she gets help fomr the government. and she works.. plus she has section 8 which they are willing to pay like 75-85% of her rent and she can't find a place.. she has to go and leave.. and to be honest I can care less I'm too nice to be treated like dirt.. .. I live in the United States btw
• Chile
4 Nov 09
mmm ok... so she is just playing arround!!!! well u might ask to ur bf to take her stuff to his house, in that way you won`t be a bad person on his eyes... he will think do u as much as possible to keep her stuff... but there is a limit and u can not keep the stuff.... and in that way u also avoid to see her everytime she goes by ur house asking for her things... good luck in this matter...
1 person likes this
@payout (3722)
• United States
5 Nov 09
Me and my Boyfriend live together so.. he approves and want it out as well.. so there is no reason to ask him or send it to his house when it is there.. lol..
@SomeCowgirl (32270)
• United States
4 Nov 09
I was going to suggest getting the law involved but if the leasing lady was not aware you could get in more trouble then it would be to get her to get all of her stuff. Then again if you throw her stuff away and she tries to sue then she'd be in trouble for staying under your roof without being on the lease, and you'd also be in trouble. What I would do is give her a full week to get her stuff, if she doesn't get it in a week, tell her that she needs to rent a truck and have it out by the 1st of December. If that still doesn't work I would do it for her, that is to say that I would borrow a truck, or rent a truck, and then charge her for getting the stuff out... This might be simpler to accomplish legally, but seeing as your lease lady didn't know... Good Luck!
1 person likes this
@payout (3722)
• United States
5 Nov 09
I understand.. but we didn't think it was going to be this long even though that didn't matter.. she wont dare to bring the law in the situation.. Many bad things will happen to her.. which is.. sad.. because she needs all the help she can get.. I guess.. the government help isn't enough..
1 person likes this
@SomeCowgirl (32270)
• United States
8 Nov 09
If she stayed longer then her welcome or longer then you had first anticipated you may be able to go the legal route if you can explain it to your land lady. Though I assume something must have been done by now.
@sid556 (31005)
• United States
4 Nov 09
Actually after allowing her to live there for more than 2 weeks, she was more than just a guest. She had rights and the way she was kicked out with no notice and not going thru the proper procedures was illegal as you can get. I would not advice throwing her things out for sure or it could rebound right back at you. Since you did not take the time to let your landlady know that she was living there then it was illegal for her to be there to begin with. If you had done all this legally yourself then she would have been ordered to leave and been given 30 days to find another place and a place for her things. If you toss them because you are angry at her right now and she decides to press charges then you will be in big trouble. You should be grateful that she left as easily as she did because ya know.....she could have refused and had every right to ....legally.
1 person likes this
@payout (3722)
• United States
5 Nov 09
.... .. ... First... we didn't think she was going to be there that long plus she had section 8 which is a program in the united states that help people and they pay like 80-90% of your rent.. and you pay the rest.. they gave her months to find a place but she didn't your 24 years old 3 kids.. grow up.. and finda place.. Plus.. she took advantage of the people .. that were trying to help her.. so if you let your lover sister stay with you and think she will leave fast because all the help she was getting. Then she was being lazy.. let her kids dirty and write on the wall and write on the floor with markers. and think it's okay .. and dirty the living crap out my house.. forget that. Plus I was nice enough to watch her kids.. while she work so she can make some money and and get a place even faster.. but yeah.. paid me a couple times but stop and now owes me 325 dollars.. yeah right.. After all this ... she was living there for free..
1 person likes this
@sid556 (31005)
• United States
6 Nov 09
Oh trust me...I don't blame you one little bit for being angry. I can't stand people like this. I was just telling you the laws as I know them. I'm not sure how long you are legally supposed to hold on to her stuff once she is out but there is a time limit. Call your local housing authority. I'm sure the laws vary in different states. I also think if you put something in writing and give her a time limit to get her junk out of your home and keep a copy for yourself then you will be covered if you get rid of her stuff. She may not know the laws herself and from the sounds of it would not have the means to fight you on this. You could bluff and give her 24 hours to get her stuff or else. Then do it. It would cost her to take you to court. Tell her that you spoke with a lawyer.
1 person likes this
@rsa101 (13833)
• Quezon City, Philippines
5 Nov 09
Well I really do not see there is something illegal on throwing her things out but then for humanitarian reasons maybe you could stuff all of her belongings in some spot in your house like the garage and let her pick it up from there. I do think that won't bother you as long as her belongings are not scattered all over your house.
1 person likes this
@payout (3722)
• United States
5 Nov 09
Her stuff isn't thrown all over it's all put together waiting to be grab by the owner and it has been like that for days .. she needs to step up to the plate and be a mother and take her stuff..
@happy6162 (3011)
• United States
4 Nov 09
You need to give here time to get her stuff out 3 or 4 days is not much time. You said she works so it might be a little hard for her to get everything out all at once. She is the sister of your bf so you need to be careful how you handle the situation. You said she had 3 kids what are the ages of the kids are they old enough that you could have had them help keep things pickup.
1 person likes this
@payout (3722)
• United States
5 Nov 09
My boyfriend knows how I feel about it.. he agrees with me because his family is mess up fools. That same day he was sad.. and just pass out because he was stressing too much I was with him when he was in the ER.his family didn't even bother to care.. so forget them.. no matter what they should care.. no matter what.. fighting or not disagreeing or not.. family is family.. She is 24 and she has 3 kids.. ones 5 another is 2 going on 3 and one is about to be 4 months. we try to help her let her stay there for awhile. she had help from the government.. lots of help plus she work.. if she had enough time to leave her kids with me for like 12 hours and she gets off at like 9- or 10 during that time she should of been home.. with her kids.. and she leave there for free.. the time being there she should of been got a place the first .. 2 weeks..
• United States
4 Nov 09
I find it a bit strange that you are talking about what is legal when presumably you are violating your lease by letting another person and her kids live there rent free without the landlady's knowledge. I also think Halloween was only a couple of days ago, so its not like she has left it for weeks. It sounds like its not so much the stuff you are bothered about but that you are angry at a whole load of things about how she has behaved. I would give her a time limit to get the stuff - a reasonable one, like a couple of weeks - after all, you did let her stay there and bring the stuff in. Tell her you will have to get rid of it if she cannot get it by then. I don't think you can just throw it all out after this short amount of time - its not your stuff, so its effectively stealing in a way.
@payout (3722)
• United States
5 Nov 09
Yes... blah blah blah.. I'm not stupid.. of that.. but all the help she was getting it shouldn't take months to get out.. Also she said and admit herself she is leaving in November.. the begging of the month. but she did things and let her kids do things on purpose.. so she had to go.. Yes we told her she had to the 3rd.. and ... so if she isn't grown enough.. to grib her stuff and leave then.. she shouldn't have them kids.. I might sound mean or what ever you want to call me.. I wasn't put on this earth to be like by anyone.. not to put up with that crap.. so yeah .. after her time being we should of told the leasing lady but.. hey.. there is our wrong.. but hey.. she needs to go.. if she likes it or not..
• Indonesia
4 Nov 09
Wow is your boyfriend opening a franchise or something by planting his sister with you, sound parasitic, in my tribe if someone does that then that person is trying to do some parasitic activities, which is why we never let that happens and even if it does, we'll kick them right away, my suggestion is evict that woman, it's not worth sacrificing your comfort just to comfort someone else.
1 person likes this
@payout (3722)
• United States
5 Nov 09
I'm tired of being too nice.. to people who think it's okay to use me.. People have there opinions on my characteristics but in the end I think many people will say and might do the things I did.. if they were in my situation..
@oXAquaXo (607)
• United States
4 Nov 09
Wait a few more days. She's obviously trying to make you upset. If she doesn't get her stuff and it's been like two weeks, and you've done EVERYTHING YOU POSSIBLY COULD to make her come get it, I guess that's your only other option. If someone's bothering you and you've done everything in your power to make them stop without "breaking rules", then it's about time you should.
1 person likes this
@payout (3722)
• United States
5 Nov 09
Yeah I;m giving her a few days but today she said she is coming at 8 clock to get her stuff.. and she better.. I don't care she better take all of it.. but yeah.. at least I'm nice .. enough to do that.. because she owes me 325 dollars and mess up my apt.. and Im nice enough to let her.. stay here.. with us.. Free.. but yeah she took advantage.. so she has to go she needs to grow up and get over it.
@bird123 (10501)
• United States
4 Nov 09
It doesn't matter what everyone else does. It's what you do that counts. Would you want someone to throw your stuff out after a couple of days??? Give her some notice and a deadline. Pretend it was you who had to move to a new place, then decide and be fair, not full of revenge. You will be happier in the end.
1 person likes this
@payout (3722)
• United States
5 Nov 09
Hey.. we did give her a deadline.. and a date.. we told her she had to get out on the 3rd. of November but she speeded it up ...after being there for months trying to find a place.. but was too busy.. on her Boyfriends butt.. so yeah.. She decided to let here kids write on my wall with a pen and draw on the floor with markers.. Bye Bye... I will be happy when she gets all her crap out.. Plus she staying at her sisters house.. so she can take her stuff..
@zhangscu (59)
• China
4 Nov 09
In my opinion, your case does not have much to do with law. Anyhow, legal stipulations may vary in different states/countries. What is most important here is not whether the measure you take (like throwing out her stuffs) is legally acceptable but whether it is morally acceptable by your BF's sister. It's not a good idea to offense a future relative in such a way. Why don't you make a phone call and talk to her about her belongings after another few days? I don't suggest you call her right now to talk because if you do this too early she may feel you don't respect her at all. No matter how you disliked her behaviours/habbits when she lived with you, try to make a happy end.
1 person likes this
@payout (3722)
• United States
5 Nov 09
I'm not going to call her.. because we all will fight.. They think I'm scared of them I psh... they must be crazy.. try to call the police on me.. what ever.. and when someone owes you 325 dollars and not planning to give it to you.. BYE.. Enough is enough .. because even God has his way of punishing people..
• United States
4 Nov 09
Ok so you pay the rent and utilities right? Your name is on the lease. She was just a friend staying with you so she dosent have rights. You can take her stuff to the curb. If she dosent like it to bad. Call her and say she has one week to get it all out. If its not gone then you will be getting rid of it. Theres not anything she can do. Good luck to you! ~May The Kisses Of An Angel Cover And Protect You Always!~ Copper
1 person likes this
• Philippines
4 Nov 09
yup, the emoticon had said it alright. too bad, at the age of twenty four she should be at least mature. as for me, that's why am still at my parents house, because i don't want to be a burden towards every one in my brother's house. one house, is okay but my brother tends to ask me to do labor, the other, am bit accommodating but don't serve me food. so, if that's hell for me, what more if i lived with them
1 person likes this
@Loverbear (4928)
• United States
4 Nov 09
In California it is 30 days for you to store the stuff... if she has another address, send her a certified letter stating that she has so much time to collect the remaining items. If she doesn't remove them in that time they WILL be donated to charity. If you don't know her address, then when you see her again, have the notice with you and have a receipt that you will have her sign stating that she received the notice from you. If there is a mutual friend that can store the stuff, then see if they will store it for you. It is grossly inconsiderate of her to not remove the rest of her personal items from your home. But, as I saw in you post, it has only been 4 days; which isn't enough time for her to make plans for moving the stuff. Even though she didn't pay rent, you still have a legal obligation to take care of her property. It doesn't sound fair, but you have to keep in mind that she was your boy friend's sister and you accepted her as a guest in your home. Your best bet to CYA is the certified letter (with a return receipt) giving her adequate time to make arrangements to remove the items and find a place to store them. The second best thing is to have a letter with you, track her down and deliver it with her signing a receipt stating that she received the letter. You, as a landlord or host, has the obligation to take care of the stuff for a specified period of time, usually 30 days and then it is up for grabs as abandoned property. Until then you cannot do anything with the stuff. Also, make sure she understands that she HAS to make an appointment with you to come to remove the items and make sure that there is more than one person present to observe the removal. This too is to cover your a$$. She could make unsubstantiated claims about the condition of her property or damage your stuff, so it is always better to have more than one person as a witness to the removal. I hope I have helped some. Since there seems to be some bad feelings, it is much better to keep things legal to take care of you.
1 person likes this
@rina308 (84)
• Philippines
10 Dec 09
Where does she live now? Maybe you could take the time to take her stuff and actually deliver it to the door where she is currently staying. In any case, if you would need any legal assistance, feel free to visit bidsfromlawyers.com -- it's a website where you can post your case online, and lawyers from your chosen city bid for it.
@rina308 (84)
• Philippines
8 Dec 09
If it comes to a point where you would be needing to bring this case to a judge, better find the best legal service for you. Go to bidsfromlawyers.com, they allow you to post your cases online and then you wait for lawyers to bid on your case.
@hellcowboy (7383)
• United States
4 Nov 09
This is an interesting discussion and first off if the land lady did not know she was staying there then you could get in trouble because that is kind of going against your lease which is not good,and secondly it has only been a few days so I would give her at least two weeks to get her stuff and it is only fair,and it seems like you might be blowing things out of proportion when this is just a simple matter of her getting her stuff,I hope you solve it peacefully without anyone getting in trouble.