11-year-old girl gives birth on her wedding day

@victorywp (3526)
Malaysia
November 3, 2009 9:34pm CST
have you heard about this story? a bulgarian girl (who got married to her teenage boyfriend) was still wearing her flowing white dress and tiara when she arrived at the hospital and gave birth? this was what she said, i used to play with my toys but now she (the baby) is my new toy. she is so beautiful, i love her. violeta (the baby) is the child and i must grow up. i am not going back to school – i am a mother now. what's your comment on this:- 1) she treats her own child as a toy 2) she is not going back to school at 11
19 people like this
100 responses
@KrauseHome (33746)
• United States
4 Nov 09
Talk about Babies having babies. This to me is quite astonishing and I hope they would never allow someone 11 here in the US to get married. What does an 11 yr. old know about being a mother, and taking care of a child, etc? This to me I find a little scary for sure. And to think they were refering to the baby like they would a Toy doll, that is scarier for sure. All I can say if this is really True I only hope somehow there is someone else on the scene who will help take care of the Baby and teach the girl how to raise it as well.
4 people like this
@victorywp (3526)
• Malaysia
4 Nov 09
yes, you are right. also, i think it is really not a wise move to stop schooling at 11. ps: this is a recent news & you can read further if you search in the internet.
@weasel81 (2502)
• Australia
4 Nov 09
i was only just 21 when i had my son. my father in-law would say a baby having a baby. refering to the fact i was really not that old, and these days kids don't have to grown up as fast as they did yrs ago.
1 person likes this
• Indonesia
4 Nov 09
Need to renew the marriage regulation in that country. Also it's individual thinking and awareness to give and have baby.
1 person likes this
@weasel81 (2502)
• Australia
4 Nov 09
what is the world coming to? how old is this story? yeah big point where are her parents.
3 people like this
@victorywp (3526)
• Malaysia
4 Nov 09
this is a recent news about 1-2 weeks old if i was not mistaken. but i saw there are many duplicate news around the internet this few days back.
1 person likes this
@weasel81 (2502)
• Australia
4 Nov 09
can i ask a silly question, what's the youngest age for ginuess world records on kids having babies? there seems to be a lot of kids round that age having babies.
2 people like this
@victorywp (3526)
• Malaysia
4 Nov 09
LOL! i don't know that either! but i wonder whether there is a guiness record for that?
1 person likes this
@iwrite (5042)
• Singapore
4 Nov 09
Well I think she has to face with reality, no one should be put up to this kind of responsibility at such tender age, some still cannot get it at 50 less a little girl at the age of 11. From her description, you know she is still a child, however she know she needs to grow up and look after the baby. Perhaps she is not think about not going to school but to work to get the money so the baby does not suffer. Whatever the case it is pretty sad to see that she have to suffer. I do hope that god in all his grace and mercy would watch over the mother and child. And the family would be supportive for her to tide over these difficult time.
3 people like this
@victorywp (3526)
• Malaysia
4 Nov 09
yes, from her description, she is still a child speaking inmaturely. i also hope that the family would be supportive to her in the coming difficult times.
@sid556 (31018)
• United States
4 Nov 09
I think it is terribly sad. She is not old enough to be a mom and certainly not old enough to be married. It is sick that the parents allow her to get married at this young age but sicker still is the government that allows it.
2 people like this
@jammyt (2824)
• Philippines
4 Nov 09
I so agree. I wonder why these kids were allowed to get married at such an age EVEN if they were given consent by the parents....also, I wonder what the parents were thinking of...really sad...
1 person likes this
@o0Tora0o (356)
• United States
4 Nov 09
Apparently marrying at such a young age is the custom in Bulgaria. I've read several articles now that have said that it's common for young teenagers to get married and become mothers there. It looks like 14-17 years old is standard... I can't imagine any girl being prepared for that at such an age!
1 person likes this
@victorywp (3526)
• Malaysia
4 Nov 09
14-17 is the standard age of being a mother in bulgaria? that's really shocking!
@violeta_va (4842)
• Australia
4 Nov 09
This story has been lost in translation. Having read the original in Bulgarian what she said is not such tragic as what the media makes it. "married" is not necaseraly what we think of (the legal aspect of it) she might only had the wedding without been legaly married. Also when she sais about playing it was more the case of she has responcibility to the baby now and the baby will be No1 and her priority not games and toys. She said NOW she is not going back to school she didnt say never. As much as it is all so sad she is very mature to say this things I only wish some older mums think that way and put their kids first. It is not Balkan thing or Bulgarian thing and its not normal or common it is more the case of the Gypsy population.
2 people like this
@victorywp (3526)
• Malaysia
4 Nov 09
hi violeta_va! thanks for explaining & clearing this story in all aspects. seems like the story really has been lost in translation from the original language to english. so now i have a better understanding. i will mark you as the best response so that people will find your post & know the exact meaning of the girl's words.
1 person likes this
• Australia
5 Nov 09
well thanks for that. I just wanted to clear few things up as I felt sorry for the poor girl been "abused" for something that was created by the media. I do not come from Bulgaria and I am not Bulgarian but I do understand the language and the colture. I dont aprove of 11 year olds having kids but what was done was done and the baby has 2 loving parents and didnt end up in the bin or in institution (by the way the institutions there are nothing like what we know you will cry if you knew what those kids live like")
1 person likes this
@victorywp (3526)
• Malaysia
5 Nov 09
wow, do you study the language by yourself? that's great!
• India
10 Dec 09
Hello my friend victorywp Ji, It is very sadto know one way, but happy to know thefeelings of newly wedded mother. I would not hesitate to name as 'Bad-Parenting' by her parents, who could not bring her to correct age and monitor heractivities very closely in order to avoid such un-social event in the family and society. I am sure , many of you maynot like to feel like me. For any mishap in the family, elders only have to take blame. May God less You and have a graet time.
2 people like this
@victorywp (3526)
• Malaysia
11 Dec 09
i learnt from other respondents saying that marriage & giving birth at young age are the norm & cultural thing in the girl's country. so nobody is to take the blame?
1 person likes this
• India
11 Dec 09
Hello my friend victorywp Ji, I strongly do not agree with this concept. It seems, parents haveno responsibility to mopuld the children as per social norms.Children can never be left un-atttended the way they wish to live. It is an absurd. May God bless You and have great time.
1 person likes this
@bhanusb (5709)
• India
4 Nov 09
To a mother her baby is like a toy. The Bulgarian girls behavior is not unnatural. The unnatural thing is that the girl came to the hospital wearing flowing white dress and tiara.
@victorywp (3526)
• Malaysia
4 Nov 09
oh, that's because she gives birth on her wedding day.
@bhanusb (5709)
• India
4 Nov 09
Yes now I can remember. I read this news in a newspaper.Very interesting indeed.
2 people like this
@audrey7 (235)
• Jamaica
4 Nov 09
This is an abusive situation, this is unfair to the younsters. Where are the parents? The little girl is using the play as a strategy to cope. What is happening to modernity? I am sorry for her.
2 people like this
@victorywp (3526)
• Malaysia
4 Nov 09
i don't know whether it's true or not that bulgaria has marriage at young age as a culture?
1 person likes this
• United States
8 Nov 09
Abusive? I don't know if the boy knew exactly what he was doing or had all his marbles in a row either. We don't know the full story on him except that he was 19 and willing to get married when he found out the girl was pregnant. He could have had undiagnosed learning disabilities which happens quite often.
1 person likes this
@zed_k4 (17633)
• Singapore
4 Nov 09
I have mixed feelings about this. First of all, I think she is definitely too young to be a mom. But on the other hand, I admire something in this girl. At a tender age of 11, she is willing to be a very responsible mom and care for her baby. And we have news where newly born babies are dumped in the shed, near the dustbin, in the toilet and many more. There are also adults whom have killed their newborns. So, in a world of chaotic happenings, it's definitely good to know that an 11 year old appreciates motherhood pretty much. But that does not change my opinion that she is too young for that and how come her parents allow her to do so. But since she's married, well, the baby will be in a caring and loving environment for sure.
@victorywp (3526)
• Malaysia
4 Nov 09
great, you have commented brilliantly. she appreciates motherhood at such a young age, which is something good. anyway, she should not have decided to stop schooling at the age of 11.
1 person likes this
@zed_k4 (17633)
• Singapore
5 Nov 09
That, I certainly agree.. she should try and go for an education. It's vital and it's for the well-being for her and her daughter. Really hope her parents and husband would decide that for her or coax her into studying..
1 person likes this
• Philippines
25 Nov 09
It's a shock that an 11-year-old girl gives birth. What's more is that she had her wedding day scheduled sometime during her final weeks of pregnancy? This is really disturbing. I do think she meant well (hopefully) when she said that she had a new toy. Maybe it was misinterpreted or something got lost in the translation. It could be a cultural thing for mother's not to go back to school.
2 people like this
@victorywp (3526)
• Malaysia
26 Nov 09
good response, bryandairogarcia. you have considered all the possibilities & concluded in your response!
• United States
6 Nov 09
unbelieveable,that's all i can say. a girl that young,especially if she calls it a toy,should not be a mother.
2 people like this
@victorywp (3526)
• Malaysia
10 Nov 09
would she be taking care of her daughter the same way she treats her dolls/toys? i don't dare to think about this one...
• Pakistan
5 Nov 09
She is under aged. She is not adult. Then how is it possible. I do not believe this story. The age of being pregnant is about 18 years. But she is a baby. If this happened then it is very strange and unusual. What do you think?
@victorywp (3526)
• Malaysia
10 Nov 09
but it really happened. you can read the news from the link provided under the first respondent's comment. also, if you want to know about the youngest mother in the world (5 years old), you can find the link under the 38th respondent's comment. sorry for the trouble, but i just don't want to spam this discussion with links.
@Slurpiee (97)
• United States
5 Nov 09
I think that is straight up crazy. I know that things are different in some parts of the world, but I can't imagine anywhere where it's ok for that to happen. School should have been her first priority first. She was too young to even think about that kind of stuff if you ask me. The fact that she actually talked about her baby as if it was like a toy should have been enough to get the child put in a proper home. Both of the children that is. The baby and the 11 year old. Makes you wonder what this world is coming to.
2 people like this
@victorywp (3526)
• Malaysia
9 Nov 09
i agree with you, there are many other cases similar to this case where you can see children having children. it seems like this world is closing to the end...
• Italy
4 Nov 09
Toy...that's scary. I wonder how a mother can call toy her own blood in the first place.
2 people like this
@victorywp (3526)
• Malaysia
9 Nov 09
maybe because she is still childish/inmature, so that's how she describe things.
@minx267 (11147)
• Hartford, Connecticut
4 Nov 09
As sad as that is. I don't find it shocking. It happens more often than is reported. A few years back I was with my friend whose brother was in the hospital after an accident. Since he was 17 and not yet adult they put him in Pediatric ward, whil we were there visiting A young girl came in with a toddler and an infant. She was 13 and already had her 2nd child! Where are her parents and why isn't anyone being charged with statutory rape? And our tax money is obviously paying for her welfare and her kids welfare Medical and food- because she isn't even legally old enough to work!
@victorywp (3526)
• Malaysia
7 Nov 09
wow, 13 with 2 childrens?! i thought one would be enough, at least for her age at the moment.
• Italy
4 Nov 09
First I'd say, how did she get pregant at 11? That might be child abuse or incest because we don't know who's the father. Is a 11 yrs old boy able to get a girl pregnant? I don't know about this one but have some doubts. And second: where are the parents?? And third: how comes the law allows a 11 yrs old to get married? In my country you can only get married at 18, and 16 if and only if a judge allows you to.
@victorywp (3526)
• Malaysia
4 Nov 09
that's what i would like to know too. but i heard that it's some kind of culture in bulgaria to get married at young age. i heard that the average age of getting married is 14-17 years old.
• China
4 Nov 09
amazing.....why can a girl got pregant at 11?a girl in 11 just began to grow up,isn't her?
2 people like this
@victorywp (3526)
• Malaysia
4 Nov 09
she got pregnant at 10 & bore her daughther at 11. really amazing right?
• United States
4 Nov 09
I do not think that an 11 year old child is capable of taking care of a baby. She is developmentally a child herself. I think the old saying "babies having babies" applies here. Most young girls think that babies are cute and fun to dress up. What happens when the baby starts crying for hours and is inconsolable because they have colic and the parent goes days without sleeping. She is not going to have time with her friends or to do all the things that she did before she had the baby. I think that life is to short and these kids need to take the time to enjoy their childhood because there is plenty of time for them to have to deal with adult issues.
2 people like this
@victorywp (3526)
• Malaysia
4 Nov 09
she lost her childhood & could not enjoy her childhood anymore.
@jammyt (2824)
• Philippines
4 Nov 09
A wife and a mother at 11?????!! Oh my gosh! She's only a child herself. I don't agree that she had to get married because she got pregnant. That would be committing another mistake to cover another mistake. while it would be nice that they would grow up together, this mother's youth has been robbed by her motherly duties. How can she actually take good care of this child when she herself needs to learn a lot of things too?!? More than anything, I hope the parents of this 11 year old will be supportive and will help her raise the child right.
2 people like this
@victorywp (3526)
• Malaysia
4 Nov 09
i agree with you that she herself has a lot of things to learn & how can she handle her motherly duties well? yes, the grandparents of the baby need to be very supportive in this case.
• United States
4 Nov 09
While I think it is obviously way too young, I am looking at it from the point of view of my own culture - I would assume that in that culture it must not be quite so shocking for a younger child like that to get married, as it seems it must be legal for it to happen. There are also many cultures where she would not be going to school for much longer,if at all, anyway. Having said that, I don't know how anyone deals with having a baby at 11. But then I know some pretty rubbish adult parents....
@victorywp (3526)
• Malaysia
4 Nov 09
that's true, it would be extremely difficult to raise a child at 11. also, they must start to learn parenting skills from now.