Am in trouble, someone help!

India
November 5, 2009 8:22am CST
Here is the deal,i met a girl online and got into some serious relationship,i thought it was ok but the problem is that she is not beautiful to see,she loves me and i like her too in away until i saw her true face, i was shocked now she haunts me everywhere online,and tells me to love her and marry her,hey someone help me over here to get rid of her for me, even though i dont want to hurt her feelings..someone or anyone give me some piece of advice!
2 people like this
20 responses
• Canada
6 Nov 09
You shouldn't for beauty on the outside true beauty lies within the heart, People who are overweight or as you call her ugly are usually the most loyal and have the best hearts, beautiful people are usually but not always self-centered and think only of themselves because they have to maintain an image.
• United States
6 Nov 09
I know an overweight woman who has so much self-confidence when she talks, it's only about her. She may ask how I am doing but she doesn't much care for my answer. Her self-centered personality was instilled/learned somehow... Maybe by her self-centered, overweight mom and her self-centered, overweight sister, or her self-centered overweight aunt? Your generalizations are outrageous.
• Canada
6 Nov 09
I said Usually I did not say all the time, All I meant was that ugly people and overweight people usually are the ones who are over looked, ridiculed, made fun of, treated very badly, of course underweight people have the same problems they are teased and made fun of as well, and in general treated very badly.
• Canada
6 Nov 09
ALSO one of my best friends is beautiful inside and out. She is one of the best people you could ever know, She has a strong faith in GOD, A freind that I just lost in june due to pancreatic cancer, she was only 43 her youngest daughter just turned three in april was beautiful inside and out. I WAS NOT GENERALIZING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
• Pakistan
5 Nov 09
well... seems to be very difficult situtatoin for you..i think for relationship their is two things. one is beauty and other is attitude or behavior. but the problem is when we love someone we dont see these two things. sometimes we just go to the beauty and sometime we just go to the attitude... In your situtation if you really love her than i think beauty is not a big matter..I suggest Dont break her feelings ..The final decision is yours.. Best of luck dear..
• India
5 Nov 09
one without other is useless for me,i hate god for doing this..and i even regret it myself,anyway my decision is decided to end it with her.
• Pakistan
5 Nov 09
hmm... you seems to be not happy with her.. Its better to leave her.
• India
5 Nov 09
nothing more to it that i will settle it myself somehow.....
• India
5 Nov 09
hi dear friend if you really love her then why you her to be beautiful hmmm first think every body have to understand is that we should not look external beauty we have to identify the inner beauty thats is heart and how good she is. thats all i can say dear then its upto you have a nice day thank you
• India
5 Nov 09
easy for you to say, for me not at all okay as for me am handsome to even marry a princess or something its a mistake i got it, and yet i cant even leave the horrid thought in my mind anyway fine thanx for ya concern.
@rjvb26 (2518)
• Philippines
5 Nov 09
Dude! No hard feelings but you very much of a narcissistic and you really have that guts to tell that your handsome and no ugly woman have a right to be with you? Are you perfect? do not judge the book by it's cover. Don't want to hurt your feelings but, do you think what you are doing right now is right? You told us you like her but now your having problem because of what she looks like? If you were on her position/situation, what do you think you will feel? Ok uhmm don't want to argue with you am just being a true guide right now, if you you don't want her to get hurt, do you think it's best to tell the truth to her? Do you think it's best to be man enough to talk to her and tell her that you are not ready? And what do you think is the right thing to do? You told us that you don't want to hurt her feelings right? That's all... Anyway thanks for the post it is very interesting... It really caught my attention! Two thumbs up for that... Decide carefully and Do the right thing and after deciding make sure that you don't have any regrets. Remember a wrong decision makes a very bad event/very bad things in someones life.
• India
5 Nov 09
you do have some point in what you say, i did say i like her to her voice not by anything i never even thought about this ugliness behind..i guess,my decision to go hiding even though its not right,i must do so for her sake.
@laydee (12814)
• Philippines
5 Nov 09
This truly is the problem when one starts a relationship with someone without giving both a chance to meet. I have seen people get hurt this way. Anyhow, there's nothing you could do about it. I had experienced that before (I went gaga over someone online - believe it or not), the best thing that he could do was to hurt me. I know you don't want to hurt the girl but it's the only way. He did so by ignoring and avoiding me. It was painful for several months - even years. But now that I'm over the guy and have found someone better, it's all worth it. You should just avoid and ignore her. Lay off going online and using the chat names you use with her. If possible, erase all your accounts or don't go near them. She will eventually hate you and soon will get over. Another thing that you could do is to tell her upfront that you're getting married or you are already married with someone else. It'll hurt too but as I said earlier, it's the only way. Good luck! I hope this was a very good lesson for you.
• India
5 Nov 09
thats one thing i dont like, the fact that i dont want anyone to hate me in anyway,this is a problem,maybe i should act like crazy to her inaway she will avoid me,from your experience is the same situation as now that girl would stand,i hate this..why i even bother to do this in first place..
1 person likes this
@laydee (12814)
• Philippines
7 Nov 09
Well yeah, being a je*rk and doing what you know she doesn't like would actually make her go away. That strategy could work.
• United States
6 Nov 09
The answer to your problem is matter-of-fact and straight to the point: ignore her and she will get the hint and go away. There's no reason to dwell or attack your character--you have a problem and I have the solution. Follow my advice and you will be rid of her. You're welcome.
• Canada
6 Nov 09
He should be honest with her and not ignore her it would hurt three times more and she would not know why he is treating her like this and be wondering what she did wrong. If he cares like he says than he should upfront and tell her that he is not interested in a relationship with her and leave it at that.
@andy555 (216)
• China
5 Nov 09
Sometimes i think it is better to get married to a person who really loves you. But in reality we often dream and try hard to get married to a person whom we love. Beauty is a surface, which will disasper as time goes no matter how perfact it is now. So if you really love her and can accept other aspects, i think you can have a try, though i know it is really difficult now. Later when you are older you will find to live with a person who really loves you is really a happiness.
• India
5 Nov 09
i remember now, like me a person had this same situation where in i told him the same ,love is pure and beauty is only an outer appearance..i have to die to change my mind into liking this.
• China
5 Nov 09
How can you love someone only becouse of her face! You are wrong, but the importent thing is let the girl give up you. Maybe you can talk to her clearly? But no matter you do, I hope you can respect the girl, don't injure her too much...
• India
5 Nov 09
yea i was thinking the same,it was actually my once is while mistake,anyway i do respect for her,otherwise i would have got rid of her long time..i need a solution though,but what!
@gwoman2 (711)
• United States
5 Nov 09
Hi Fireheart, You do know that beauty is in the eye of the beholder and many times a not-so-attractive person will be true to you verses a "beautiful" person who can hurt your heart...but this is neither here nor there, I don't understand how you can meet someone on-line and get into a "serious relationship"... Be careful...there are plenty of "nuts" out there and I'm guessing you've found one...be very, very careful...Forget about "hurting feelings" it's gonna happen regardless of what you do because you don't want a relationship with this person, so you're only alternative is to be honest and tell her to "F" off or you can try gently telling her you are not ready for a serious relationship...I hope everything works out for you...and remember, BE CAREFUL!! ~g~
• Nigeria
6 Nov 09
the smartest thing to do is to tell her the truth, cos it may hurt her for a while but when she comes to realize that the truth has been said she will 4give you and may be become her friend afterward. but remember that love is not in the beauty of a person. it is an inner thing that needs to be handled with care.
• Indonesia
6 Nov 09
Wrong move brother, you now you got a beast on your trail, if you want to escape then change your identification, create new accounts and move somewhere new so then you can have a new beginning.
• United States
6 Nov 09
Just one suggestion, rent the movie Shallow Hale. Lol, good luck with your online lover. Just tell her your not interested then change your phone number, email address, home address and anything else you leaked to her, lol sorry, lmfao. Good luck.
• India
6 Nov 09
hi dude if your love towards her was true u would have not asked this question... you too loved her na... please accept her.. don't leave her ... don't hurt her true feelings... whatever it may be... accept her love...
@zed_k4 (17627)
• Singapore
6 Nov 09
Was she truthful about what she looked like from the beginning. Did you guys ever exchange pictures or be descriptive about each others looks? Or you just met like that...
• Singapore
6 Nov 09
i met my hubby online few years ago, and i believe i did start a discussion in myLot on that. We were together for 2 years, and married for 1 year. if you are so affected by her look, then you seriously got to think carefully on whether is it love or lust. If it's love, i dont think her look will be in your mind at all. give her a chance, give yourself a chance. spend more time together, to know each other. You may never know, you will gradually fall in love with her, and will be able to learn to accept her for who she is. Good Luck!
@tokouchi (370)
• Philippines
6 Nov 09
seems to me that there was no "serious relationship" since you were expecting her to be pretty. i mean, the facial features shouldn't hinder you from liking/loving her if that's what you truly feel. That's the problem with online relationships. I hardly ever hear stories of online relationships that actually worked. wanting to get rid of her would definitely hurt her feelings no matter what method you try to use. you have the responsibility to tell her and if she gets hurt and hates you for it, even if she curses you, it's your fault. bear with it.
@naoimi09 (106)
• Philippines
6 Nov 09
I think you should get to know her better before you judged her because of her appearance. Sometimes it is better to be in a relationship with someone who is not good looking than to be with someone who is beautiful but can't love you in return. Although appearance count as well, we may not know if that girl can give you the love more than what you deserve. Get to know her better before jumping into conclusion. Good luck Fireheart..
@apples99 (6564)
• United States
5 Nov 09
Well beauty is subjective, and we shouldn't judge others just by there looks, but a side from that the situation you described is a classic example of why we have to be careful because as most of us already know there's a lot of unstable people online, that will harass and stock and sometimes worse if given the opportunity and once it starts its hard to get rid of. With that said, the only thing I can recommend is that you report this person online so that people or the web administrators know of the harassment, and they may block them from bothering you, or if you dont want to hurt this persons feelings you could try honesty and just tell this person that you dont love them in that way, and that you only want to be friends. but if that dosent work you may have no other option but to report the online harassment to web administrators or other authority's.
@D4WNO83 (30)
5 Nov 09
You need to be honest. Don't be rude about how she looks though, that would be very rude and would hurt her feelings. It's like any relationship, if you're not feeling it then you can't make yourself, for whatever reason.
@JohnJeff (722)
• Malaysia
5 Nov 09
Well fireheart, you ask for it.Ha...ha...ha.I think the best way is to tell the truth.Maybe she will not accept at first but at least she knows that she is not the girl what you looking for.
• United States
5 Nov 09
I always thought it wasn't the outside its the inside that is kinda harsh to say if you care for her you can get past the looks i've dated guys i didn't find attractive but i did it anyway just to see how it woulld play out i have been dating a guy for four years if i would have judged him soley on his looks i would never have gotton with him but if its that bad just tell her you realise you aren't really attracted to her.