Why do kids think it's okay to push or cut in front of an ADULT??

@mommyboo (13198)
United States
November 6, 2009 7:54am CST
Recently I was at an event and people had to get in line. After a little while of the line not moving, I found out the person I was behind wasn't actually in line. I went around her with my daughter and then these kids tried to go around me. I said excuse me, the line is behind me. They looked at me funny. As I moved up, they kept trying to crowd in beside me as if they were NEXT to me in line and not BEHIND me in line. I got to thinking - why is it that kids (these girls were MAYBE 10 or 12ish) think it's okay to crowd an adult or cut in front of them, or pretend they don't hear you when you tell them to go to the end of the line? Are people not teaching their kids proper behavior in public? I never would have gotten away with something like that. Believe me, I was looking around for the parent attached to them but I didn't see one. If I had, I'd likely have mentioned to them that their kids were trying to cut in line ahead of me. I can tell you I wouldn't want MY kids doing it! If someone else caught them trying I'd want to know about it. Does this happen or has it ever happened to you? What did you do about it, and did it irk the heck out of you?
3 people like this
11 responses
@syankee525 (6294)
• United States
6 Nov 09
because lack of manners, yeah i would have a feild day with them and tell them get a$$ back in the line behind me
2 people like this
• Philippines
7 Nov 09
And probably tell the parents that the boy did was wrong most specially if they're the ones who initiated it. frankly, it's not fair,these kids will get used to cutting in the line for the rest of their lives and people will get pissed of what they're doing.
1 person likes this
@mommyboo (13198)
• United States
9 Nov 09
I always feel compelled to say something because the last thing I want is for my daughter to see that type of behavior and believe it's acceptable! It isn't! In fact there are times when she asks me why someone does something she knows is wrong, but I suppose that's good because it means I am teaching her right.
• United States
9 Nov 09
yeah it does, now my kids if i dont say anything to someone they think there is something wrong i do speak up no matter what. but one time my kids why are they doing that dad? i answer loud enough because people are illmanner and rude
@murderistic (2279)
• United States
7 Nov 09
Honestly I feel bad for the kids that are reprimanded by strangers for cutting in line. It's embarrassing, and you have to remember that they're just kids, and them cutting in line is not really that big of a deal. It's not your job to teach them polite behavior. If it's that big a deal to you that a couple kids cut in line, that doesn't seem very polite to me... (reminds me of that one Cici's "line jumper" commercial) I work with adults with mental disabilities, and some of them have a hard time understanding the concept of having to wait in line. I get very frustrated by people who actually get angry at them, not knowing they have a mental disability, and me having to explain to them that they do. Why are we so uptight? Who really cares if someone cuts in front of you if they obviously don't know any better?
1 person likes this
@mommyboo (13198)
• United States
9 Nov 09
Well... first of all, it's rude to cut in line and MOST PARENTS should realize this is unacceptable behavior. It is a different situation when you are talking about anybody with a mental disability or trouble functioning because they perceive the world different than the average person. The average ten year old child should KNOW that you do not cut in line, and it doesn't matter what sort of way you try to hide it, it isn't okay. You have to realize in this particular situation, it is not fair to keep explaining to your FIVE YEAR OLDS WHY OTHER PEOPLE KEEP GETTING IN FRONT OF YOU without stepping in and doing something about it. MY CHILD knew this wasn't right and so did I, and I bet so did everybody else around us. Perhaps it is not my job to teach them polite behavior, but it is definitely my job to make sure MY child and my FRIEND and my FRIEND'S CHILD is not cut in front of, disregarded, disrespected, and the people responsible just get away with it. Like I have told other posters, if I were to see my daughter do this or find out that she did, it would NOT be okay with me! Try to put yourself in my shoes as a parent. People always say that you should say what you mean, mean what you say, and your actions should go right along. If I am teaching my daughter that is incorrect and rude behavior but I don't seem to care if someone ELSE does it, what am I teaching her? That it's not okay for her to do it but I have to let other people trample all over us? NO WAY. The expectations are the same for everybody, and if you are not going to teach your children to respect others, then your children will get in trouble from parents who CARE. I can totally understand and have sympathy or empathy when someone really doesn't understand because they do not have the capacity to, but when you are getting stared down by a 10 year old who definitely DOES know better and they don't listen, I think you will have an inkling of how I felt. I was not the only one who thought it was crazy, my friend thought the girls were also very disrespectful.
• United States
9 Nov 09
I used to work at a day care, and I would tell children who cut in line to go to the end of the line. When I'm working with my mentally disable adult clients, I always stress for them to do the same. As a parent, I will certainly do the same. But I am a person in a position of authority in those situations. As a person waiting in line in the bathrooms, I'm not. I don't own the bathrooms, I have no ties to the child cutting in line, and I don't know the reason why they're cutting in line. I keep thinking back to the bathroom scenario because there was a young girl who walked in front of the line at a bathroom in a mall and another adult that reprimanded her, telling her there was a line. First of all, the child was looking for her mother who was in one of the bathroom stalls. Second of all, even if the child cut in line, it could be because she's about to pee herself and can't hold it, because we all know that children can't control their bladders like adults do. In other situations not involving bathrooms, a child could have a reason for cutting in line and if you don't know the child, it's not your place to reprimand him or her. For all you know the child DOES have a mental disability, or is cutting to be next to his or her family member so he or she is not alone.
@mommyboo (13198)
• United States
10 Nov 09
This was not a line for a bathroom, this was a line I was waiting in for something I was paying for, to make matters easy, consider it a ticket line for something. We had limited amount of time anyway and didn't want to spend most of it in the line. I can guarantee you that if WE cut in line, those girls would have had a sh*t fit. I'm not obnoxious enough to CUT IN A LINE but I have enough respect for myself that I am not about to let someone else do it after they know I saw them and they did it anyway. Just the fact that they know they were caught should have been enough to get them to go to the end.
@rg0205 (2638)
• Hong Kong
6 Nov 09
It's happened to me and ironically, when I told the kid nicely to fall in line, his mother suddenly came up to me and shot me a dirty look. The boy was like 10-12 or something and yes, it did irk the crap out of me because I just don't understand it. Such foul behavior encourages kids to think that the world owes them and they deserve more than the next person. That's why there are so many spoiled children who grow into unruly teens. I don't say this to generalize but I think if parents can't control their "kids" then they're likely to have trouble when their kids get older.
1 person likes this
@mommyboo (13198)
• United States
9 Nov 09
Oh I absolutely agree with you! I mean it's one thing if someone is pushing or being MEAN to my daughter, then I might step in because I don't want her yelling or hitting because she is frustrated, but I would NOT want her just cutting in line and being able to get away with it. I would go get her and explain that the other person got there first, so she had to go behind them. It is a fine line to walk to teach your children that everybody is as important - people are not better than you, so hold your head high, but you must be civil and courteous and still follow general rules to ensure everybody gets a turn and people do not get hurt. It is very aggravating to me as a parent to see some parents whose kids act like entitled brats being told basically that it's OKAY to act that way! It isn't, and it will never stop bothering me. In my generation, actions and attitudes like that quickly got you a smack on your behind, and you were lucky if that's ALL you got! I don't spank but I do have certain expectations and if they are not met, privelages get lost and quickly.
@rg0205 (2638)
• Hong Kong
9 Nov 09
I enjoyed reading your response very much. You must be a great Mom. Thanks and happy mylotting.
@LisaGuo (242)
• China
7 Nov 09
It's weird that this kind things never happened to me.But I met the parents who was behind me in the line with his child's hand in hand. I ever had such experiences that one people took the positon in fron ofme in the line of another,because they're friends.Do you think it's ok??
1 person likes this
@mommyboo (13198)
• United States
9 Nov 09
These kids were unsupervised and should have gotten behind us in the first place instead of squeezing thru the hallway one at a time and then trying to pretend they had gotten there first. As far as people who save a spot for a friend, generally that doesn't bother me unless there are suddenly 16 people and before there were only 2.
• Philippines
7 Nov 09
hello mommyboo, that really lack manners and not so good upbringing to the child, they shouldn't practice that.but the situation that i encounter most of the time is not that bad but it shows laziness on the site of the adults.i kept seeing kids being ordered my their parents or moms to fall-in line in atms and other places because they feel they needed something to do. or asking their kids to pay the driver in jeepneys, i guess some kids wanted to.
1 person likes this
@mommyboo (13198)
• United States
9 Nov 09
LOL! Well, there have been a few times when I have asked one of my older kids to hold a place in line because I had to grab something. I even have had my little one do it if I wasn't going out of her sight to grab something. I know when I was little that it was a treat to pay for something. I was always excited to be able to pay for my own ice cream or my own lunch or something I picked out as a treat. I let my daughter do that sometimes too. Sometimes she even does it with her own money!
• United States
7 Nov 09
I have a theory that children display more obnoxious behavior when they are in groups. I would guess that if any one of the girls in the group you are referring to was alone, she would be more likely to respect you. However, I think that at that age, young girls are more likely to care about what their friend do, rather than what they know they should do. You must remember what it was like to be a ten year old girl. They are just beginning to establish a taste for rebelliousness, it might give them a bit of a rush to disregard or disrespect an adult.It's no excuse for their behavior, but I would guess that it is a normal for young girls at that age. I believe that what may be different is that children with a slightly more strict upbringing, probably would not be allowed to hang out with friends unsupervised in public at such a young age, I know I wasn't. However, don't entirely lose hope on them, they're still young and will hopefully out grow this "disrespect is cool" phase.
@mommyboo (13198)
• United States
9 Nov 09
Ugh. If I were to find out that my daughter and some of her friends had cut in line in front of an adult or simply stared at the adult when asked to go behind them or worse yet sassed them or talked back or crowded them and pushed, that would be the LAST time I allowed her to be unsupervised with her friends until she could demonstrate she wouldn't behave that way again. That is embarrassing and rude, and it's so hard for me to grasp that SOME parents just don't care how their children treat others. In fact their children probably learn exactly how to treat others badly from their parents' example! By the time she's 10, if it's a safe and somewhat contained place, I don't think I'd have to be right by her, but I would probably still need to be somewhere on the premises. She'd know I was there and also probably realize that if she did anything stupid, I'd find out, even if I didn't see it happen. So far she seems to handle herself quite well. Her brother and sister continued to try and get away with things until they were older teens and I proved time and time again that I actually DID have bionic ears and eyes in the back of my head lol.
@Galena (9123)
6 Nov 09
it's not just a child thing. there was a point in time where every lunchbreak I'd go to a particular shop, and about the same time there was the same old lady there. now a lot of shops have the little zigzag bit where you queue up, and nearly every lunchtime, she'd just walk past me and the rest of the queue, to the tills. old people are every bit as rude as children, but they have no excuse.
1 person likes this
@mommyboo (13198)
• United States
9 Nov 09
You know what, I have seen that behavior from old people too. I think some of this is caused by all the people who seem to believe that just because someone is older or 'elder' that they seem to deserve special privelages. I don't think so. I mean I know some people might disagree with me, but I'm not talking in terms of someone who may be disabled or require assistance. In a case like that, of course maybe they need to be helped sooner or with accomodations, but just because I'm 35 and someone else is 62? No, they do not have the right to bypass the line or cut in front of me or go first. People do not queue up according to age and age does not entitle you to special benefits. If it did, I might point out that it might be better for me to go first because I have a hungry five year old with me and she also has to use the bathroom, so if you make me wait till last, not only will she probably have an accident, she will be so bored and hungry that you will wish you let me go first. I am only kidding, most of the time she is pretty patient but it opens a can of worms when people start going about how they deserve something before another person. Just get in the line and wait. There have been times when I have waved someone ahead - an older person using a walker who is very tired, a pregnant woman in line for the bathroom, a father with a screaming little boy who just needed a soda.... I mean you know when it might help to let someone go ahead and when it would definitely just be a case of someone trying to take advantage of you.
@kezabelle (2985)
6 Nov 09
My eldest is 5 and now and again she has been known to push infront she always gets told to apologise though and moved back to her spot in the line but she is only 5 and is still learning, i think its extremely rude but i know many adults who do it aswell and that annoys me even more they should definatley know better. I think my worst example of line pushing was actually an adult I was 7 months pregnant and was waiting my turn to be served I got called down to the till and this women was stood at the next one with her friend instead of waiting for her friend to finish and use that checkout (which she had up till then been waiting to do) she decided to cut in front of me she PUSHED me out the way and knocked me over after a couple of lovely people helped me up she not only got had me shout at her but she was asked by the manager to remove herself from the store behaviour like that should never be tolerated!
1 person likes this
@mommyboo (13198)
• United States
9 Nov 09
I can understand a four or five year old pushing or running but NOT someone who is 10. I like even less the look on their faces when you remind them the line is BEHIND you, they look at you as if you are crazy and they don't MOVE. It was annoying enough long ago when I was in high school and some freshmen had an issue with a couple of us 'blocking' the hallway. There was room to go around, I could not believe the nerve that younger kids had started to have even then.
@Apples24 (425)
• Singapore
6 Nov 09
I think what the boy did was very wrong. As a citizen of US republic, you have the same right as the child regardless of age. When I first read your topic, I thought the child was around 5 or 6. But 10 ish to 12 ish is shocking. They are mature enough to learn moral values. What u did was nothing wrong. You were just stating your right as a first come first serve process in a queue.
1 person likes this
@mommyboo (13198)
• United States
9 Nov 09
Thanks! I had a friend (another adult) and her son in line with me too and she was also appalled that these kids tried to sneak around us. Our kids are five - they are still at the point where we basically pave the way for them, help them get where they are going, stand in line with them, etc. I do know that often older or bigger kids will run right over five year olds, which is ONE reason we were in the line with them!
@laglen (19780)
• United States
6 Nov 09
Thats awful and a sign of a poor upbringing. Even at 10 years old you should know better. I hope my daughter behaves better than that! I would want to know if she did something like that. It would mean I have more work to do!
@mommyboo (13198)
• United States
9 Nov 09
No kidding! My daughter knows it's not okay to cut in line. I have also had to start telling her not to ALLOW OTHERS to cut in front of HER. If she wants to let a friend in, that might be fine but not to just let someone else she doesn't know just get in front of her because they feel like it!
@sid556 (31003)
• United States
7 Nov 09
Some are just not being taught manners at all and yes...that would irritate me. I work in a store and I've seen it happen and I get irritated and I'm not even the one being cut. That being said, I see many adults with the same poor manners which is perhaps even more irritating. I can't tell you how often an adult will run in the store and reach across and throw me money and shout what pump they are on while cutting off the person that I am trying to focus on. It distracts me and it does hold up the line. Often they tell me the wrong pump # or I miss what they have said because it is NOT their turn....it is just plain inconsiderate. On a more positive note, I also have to be fair and mention that there are parents that do teach the kids. I have often seen a kid come up in the line and join a parent. They have a drink or snack that they are paying for on their own. The parent will look down and say...excuse me but you need to go to the end of the line. I'll wait for you.