how do you discipline a teenager when they think they are the parent?

@kylanie (1205)
United States
November 9, 2009 10:48pm CST
As some of you know I recently have my daughter living with me and she was used to the expensive life with $24. shirts and more expensive shoes and I can't afford things like that and now I have to figure out how to do it correctly as a parent to make it better for all of us I can't let her get by with things and not her brother so please sombody help me because I have no clue what to do???
7 responses
@stephcjh (32327)
• United States
10 Nov 09
I go through this with my 17 year old daughter. She is spoiled but it was not done by us as her parents. She is an only child and she lives with me and her step-dad. She is so used to being handed things. She talks to us like a dog alot of times also and acts like she rules the roost here too. I set her straight and let her know who is boss though. I explain to her also that we can only buy what we can afford. She works now too though so she can pay for her car, insurance and buy her own things too.
1 person likes this
• United States
10 Nov 09
I'll tell you what... at 15 I got in this little stage where "I can do what I want... blah blah blah"... and my parents shipped me from PA to Oregon to a girls home in the middle of nowhere for 8 months.... yeah... Ihad a little more respect wen I got home. haha
1 person likes this
• Australia
10 Nov 09
Shell that is hilarious. Thanks for adding a ray of sunlight to an otherwise kinda bleak day. I think I might just do that to my daughter...
1 person likes this
@solared (1210)
• United States
11 Nov 09
How old is she? If she is old enough make her get a job, and her brother too, learn the value of money. Also another thing you could do is show her a paycheck you get from work, then she realizes how much money you actually have and how you have to budget.
• United States
10 Nov 09
It sounds to me that she just wants it her way. Tell her if she wants the cloths that are that expensive then she better start makeing money and buying them herself. I never got cloths exepte for cloths that my mom got at thrift stores or yard sales. You should tell her to be thankful for what she has and to relize life dose not always give you what you want. I hope everything works out for you. Happy Mylotting
1 person likes this
• India
10 Nov 09
clearly state her that your finance is low that you cant afford to live a expensive even if you are really not then she has to change explain to her like these are all the expenses we don't have enough money for future even these thing will make her to make up her mind set to your standard of living i am not sure about your financial status considering it is low am posting
1 person likes this
• India
10 Nov 09
clearly state her that your finance is low that you cant afford to live a expensive even if you are really not then she has to change explain to her like these are all the expenses we don't have enough money for future even these thing will make her to make up her mind set to your standard of living i am not sure about your financial status considering it is low am posting
1 person likes this
@shell2784 (752)
• United States
10 Nov 09
Well... disregarding your financial situation completely... I'm not saying she's unreasonable thinking that you should be able to afford a $25 shirt, etc.... but you really just need to explain to her that you don't make as much as what she's used to... that she's either going to have to sacrifice or earn what she wants. I got a job oN my 14th birthday! I actually started the first day I was legal to work. The agreement between my mom and I at that point was that she'd take me school shopping at walmart/kmart/payless, etc... and if I wanted Tommy Hilfiger or an outfit that was over her budget, that I simply paid for it myself... that she would make sure I had the essentials to live but if I cared about name brands, etc that I'd have to get them myself... I worked my @ss off! At 14 I went to school all day and worked at a crappy little diner for 6 hours a night... plus all day saturday and sunday. I knew I'd have tshirts, a backpack, a good pair of shoes, etc whether I went to work or not - but at the time, it wasn't good enough, so I did what I had to do. By 17, I bought my OWN car, carried my own insurance, had my own cell phone, was able to get my nails done, pay for friends when we went out, etc... all the "stuff" I wanted and more. Ok- enough rambling... moral of the story is, I wasn't ungrateful, I was insatiable. I wasn't being rebelious, I was learning responsibility... and I didn't understand my parents finances, until I created my own financial life... and to this day, I don't look back on my mom and think of how rude she was to not buy me what I wanted, I look back and am greatful for her teaching me the values and responsibilities she did. I thank her for what we had, I don't curse her for what I didn't. Just make sure when you sit down and talk to her you know what you're going to say and how to approach it.... no one can scrwe up your thinking more than a pissed off teenager! Good luck! I hope I helped somewhat.
1 person likes this
• Australia
10 Nov 09
It sounds like your daughter might be unreasonable, if that's not the case, you should explain your financial situation to her. But being a teenage girl there is so much emphasis on image that it will probably be difficult for her to accept. Life is tough and you should not take from one child to make the other happy. Don't indulge her; she will only come to think that she can get everything she wants. We all go through hardships at some point and she will just need to face it.
1 person likes this