Would you forget someone who cheated on you?

Canada
November 11, 2009 10:47am CST
My girlsfriend just found out that her husband of 8 yrs was sleeping with a other women for the last month...She was very hurt of course ,but she forgive him and now just moving on with her life with him.I have my own opinion on this and i don't judge her at all because i belive she has her reasons for doing what she is doing.How would you react or have you even been in this situation and have forgive someone? Has the relationship lasted?
1 person likes this
18 responses
@hkkgra (26)
• United States
12 Nov 09
Having someone cheat on you is a hard thing to forgive. With time, I was able to forgive him. He cheated on me twice and I still believed that he would change. But, its pretty much a wishful thinking. Maybe some partners change for the good and some don't. Now, we are just good friends. We can laugh and talk about anything. But, being romantically inclined, is definitely out of the question.
• Canada
14 Nov 09
I don't belive they change,i think it's a waste of time to think that he won't do it again,but at the same time i think she is staying for the kids and maybe everything will be back to normal for a while longer...
@hkkgra (26)
• United States
14 Nov 09
Yes, I do believe you are right. I learned it the hard way, and eventually got burned as the result. However, in her case...I guess she wants to try and resolve the issue. There is no guarantees that he will remain faithful. But if its for the sake of the kids, then maybe she's doing the right thing.
@kunizzul (1067)
• Malaysia
11 Nov 09
Well if it is me in that situation I will forgive him but I will not be with him anymore. When you breaks someone trust and cheat on the person that trust you with their heart. There is nothing left but regret.
• Malaysia
12 Nov 09
a fraud very painfull only with the patient can cure it. if hearth feeling please return to reflect the weakness of self so that later you more resilient to facing any resisitance with calmly.
@kunizzul (1067)
• Malaysia
12 Nov 09
hi zakir..nice to have you here..
• United States
12 Nov 09
Personally I won't be able to it. Especially being the length of time that he was doing the cheating. To me all she did was give hime the ok to do it again or just continue it with the person he's with now. I don't care how long they was married, my thing if your not happy with me why be with?!
• Canada
14 Nov 09
I kind of feel like this too,i guess i have mix feeling about the whole thing.Obviously something in the relationship is missing,otherwise why go look somewere else right?
• Canada
12 Nov 09
I've had boyfriends cheat on me. One of them I common-law married to and he cheated on me with a 17 year old girl and I forgave him then he cheated on me again shortly after we moved, in fact I was really sick ( I was rhrowing up blood) and he told me to get out of his house. So no I would not forgive anyone else who cheated on me.
• Canada
12 Nov 09
That's a idiot..wow,i would not be to forgiven either!
@smartie0317 (1612)
• United States
11 Nov 09
I've never been in a relationship where someone cheated on me. However, I was dating this guy about a little over a year ago and he was too immature and made it clear he could not commit. I decided to stop seeing him. I was very upset when about two or three months later I found out he had a girlfriend, but about six months after that I found out he was cheating on her. Which brings me to my next point. I think cheating can be forgiven, but it really has to be a one time mistake. Some people do not take relationships seriously and will always cheat. So, you have to determine if the person is truly sorry and willing to commit. So, my taking him back would depend on the situation and how I felt he was handling it.
• Canada
11 Nov 09
And i think cheating can be forgiven too,we all make mistake,but should learn from it! Thank you for your input.
• India
12 Nov 09
I dunno why but im not very forgiving like a lot of you on this discussion board. I Cant never forget and will never forgive.Plain n simple. If i can stay faithful and control my emotions/urges if at all any
@unique16 (1531)
• United States
12 Nov 09
Yes, my ex-boyfriend he told me this past january and he has baby he techincally he did not cheat becaue she had the baby by articial insemenation. I was very hurt was with guy for 10 years and in the army. He did cheat not in the traditional sense sense but still there. He asked me to carry his baby and we are in 40's and I have two children already age 20 and 17. I told him no but what I dis not know is he kepts his lady friends to carry his baby. His goddaughter he askded in 20's but she refused but her roommate took him on the offer. She did not have to pay a cent his father took care of the money and now they live together the guy that night when told me later that night he called me to ask me to marry him... I said no way. He never remember my birthday or christmas nothing. No cards no special outings he said he always had to be back at the base. This girl is 22 had 6 months to get her degree.. according to him all she wanted to be was mother. I have forgiven him took this long in October but I will never go back to him. He made his decision and I finally realise he never really loved the right way. he may have cared but not really loved me. A person needs to forgive in order to move on from the situation you never ever forget this but you eventually move espeaically if your friend has children Thanks and have a great day Sincerely eileen
• India
12 Nov 09
No, I would not forgive him. I would avoid him and lead my life.If we forgive such persons they continue to do the same thing again and again.They should be cornered so that they will realise their mistakes and change.
@bwindsor (25)
• United States
12 Nov 09
Forgiving isn't forgetting. However, just know that if you try to intervene or tell her that it's a bad idea, she'll probably pull away from you and cling to him even tighter--being with him almost out of spite to prove that someone can truly forgive their partner for cheating. Friends be warned.
@peedielyn (1210)
• United States
12 Nov 09
I am and I am not a forgiving person. I have been in this position and if it was going on for a month, he can hit the door. If it was one time, depending on the circumstances, I might forgive him but would never forget (thus meaning I wouldn't really forgive because it would be in the back of my mind everytime he was out of my sight). I guess it just depends. I have just now forgiven one individual and he now knows that he will never ever have another chance with me.
@ayebelle (368)
• Philippines
12 Nov 09
Oh the girl should think of herself for her happiness, i know she's not happy with him right now.But i don't know, if i would be in that situation. The forgiving process will really take long. But i prefer not to be with him anymore even though she has reasons, but what is her reason? But if the guy will assure that he will not do it anymore i could probably go back, and one is enough.
• India
12 Nov 09
I would forgive and move on but never forget. Here in India, its very very difficult for a single and divorced woman to continue with her life normally and take care of her son too! I have a job but I have relatives and family and neighbours…few of whom would understand or support me. So, I will have to carry on with the charade at least till my son is grown up enough to move out on his own. But I’ll certainly set some preconditions with my husband and top of that list would be to have separate beds. I will not share my bed with a man who has cheated me.
@badevel (15)
12 Nov 09
I think this very much depends on individual circumstances. How long you had been with your partner, how much you love them, what kind of an affair it was. If you've been with your partner a long time I think you have more invested in the relationship and therefore more reason to give it another go. If you still love your partner like you always did and the affair comes out of the blue then maybe its easier to forgive, whereas if you don't love them the same already then it is easier to give the relationship up as a bad job. If the affair was justa quick fling then it would be easier to forgive than if they had a long term affir with someone they really seemed to care about. Of course, it would also depend on how much you believe their remorse and vows to give the affair up and start afresh or work harder at their relationship with you.
@getbrowser (1715)
• China
12 Nov 09
the broken relationship - If one cheats on me someday, it is obvious that it means the end of a relationship. It is not wise to continue the broken relationship.
I've never met such a bad situation where someone cheated on me. If I meet someone who has cheated on me in a relationship, I tend to forgive her even if she has made a big mistake. Then, after the relationship breaks up, I will try my best to forget her and look for a whole new life. It is not wise to live in neither the past and it is not worthy of using others' faults to punish myself. When one cheats on me, which means the end of a relationship. It is next to impossible for me to continue the relationship.
@rg0205 (2638)
• Hong Kong
12 Nov 09
I have forgiven someone who cheated on me. It took a while and of course the relationship ended but I think if it's done, there's nothing much you can do. Staying angry and upset with the person only does harm to yourself. I would leave anyone who cheats on me. I may forgive but I won't forget.
• Thailand
11 Nov 09
Oh dear, an 8 year relationship, damn her husband was stupid for letting her catch him LoL. Just kidding though. It is a very bad scenario but in reality you will meet this everyday. You are married for 8 years, do you have children ? Do you still love each other or is the bed issues just bad. If it were me, I'd consider the reason on why he wanted to cheat, was I the bad one or was he the bad one. Also, in the end, do you still really love each other ? If you do, you should be able to get over it.
@vijayanths (7878)
• India
11 Nov 09
I will try my best to forget the one who cheated on me. I can't forgive though.
• United States
11 Nov 09
I took my husband back twice. Now I am divorced after 16 years. Sorry, I feel once a cheater he doesn't deserve to waste anymore of my life. If I had it to do over again I would have divorced him many years ago.