When do you give up a support?

@dawnald (84131)
Shingle Springs, California
November 13, 2009 1:45pm CST
You're on a medical treatment... You're in counseling... When and how do you decide that you're as much better as you're going to be and that it's time to do without the support?
5 people like this
12 responses
• United States
13 Nov 09
I guess when you feel that you can handle things on your own without any major negative repercussions. You could probably start weening off the counseling and medical treatment and see how things go. If you start having problems again or develop new problems, then you can always go back and get more treatment, right?
3 people like this
@dawnald (84131)
• Shingle Springs, California
13 Nov 09
Yep, you can always go back...
1 person likes this
• United States
13 Nov 09
If you are getting frustrated with counseling and starting to question whether or not you really need it any more, then it is probably a good indication that you can now handle whatever it is that you were going to counseling for on your own. You always have the option of starting back up if you need to, but it sounds like you are probably at a good point at the moment and should trust yourself and your instincts.
2 people like this
@dawnald (84131)
• Shingle Springs, California
13 Nov 09
Not a matter of getting frustrated, more a matter of wondering what else there is to discuss...
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@SomeCowgirl (32271)
• United States
13 Nov 09
I think that it all depends. If your on a certain medication, you may find that vitamins help a lot better, or help sufficient enough or equal to the prescribed medicine. Counseling it may be that you've talked your heart out, and whether or not the counselor realizes your problem, you do and feel you can deal with it now that you know... Or maybe it's something you must continue ever so often anyway just to talk to someone...
2 people like this
@dawnald (84131)
• Shingle Springs, California
13 Nov 09
And you are a mind reader and have nailed both my situations right on the head...
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@cynthiann (18619)
• Jamaica
13 Nov 09
@ Dawn - somecowboy frequently amazes me as she is so young yet so wise. She is going to be a fantastic Mommy one day.
2 people like this
@dawnald (84131)
• Shingle Springs, California
13 Nov 09
yep!
1 person likes this
@savypat (20247)
• United States
13 Nov 09
I have been through this several times and I always found that when I felt we were going over and over the same things it was time for me to stop paying for someone to listen.
@dawnald (84131)
• Shingle Springs, California
13 Nov 09
lol That sounds like right where I am at....
@ElicBxn (60805)
• United States
14 Nov 09
about the time the doc says I'm enough better to not need him/her
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@dawnald (84131)
• Shingle Springs, California
16 Nov 09
or hints at it...
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@ElicBxn (60805)
• United States
17 Nov 09
honestly, about 50% of the time I know what they are going to say, I just need someone to back me up on what I really want to do
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@dawnald (84131)
• Shingle Springs, California
17 Nov 09
Me too often enough, but once in a while one actually says something eye opening.
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@zed_k4 (17627)
• Singapore
14 Nov 09
I think if it were up to me, I'd use the method of intermittent braking. Would stop gradually, and it's like stopping smoking. Gradually, slowly and then fully stop. So I think that this counseling thingy and medical treatment need to be taken in with the mindset that they are going to be temporary.
@dawnald (84131)
• Shingle Springs, California
16 Nov 09
Yeah between yourself and your doctor or counselor, you should be able to figure it out...
@zed_k4 (17627)
• Singapore
18 Nov 09
That's true...
1 person likes this
@dawnald (84131)
• Shingle Springs, California
19 Nov 09
Have you figured it out yet? Just kidding...
• Australia
13 Nov 09
Hi Dawn. This is a question which demands as many answers as there are people, but I'll presume we are talking about a well-balanced, intelligent person who is well able to weigh up the pros and cons, look at the situation, make an honest appraisal and do the right thing - someone like you. When counselling comes down to boiling your cabbages twice, like the cabbage, it should be thrown out. Speaking as a counsellor, once everything is out in the open, alternatives are discussed and questions answered, apart from an unbiased listening ear, there isn't much more that can be achieved. With regards to medical treatment, this would depend on the medical condition. There are some medications it would be dangerous to stop (blood thinners for a thrombosis-prone patient, diabetics, asthmatics etc) On the other hand there are myriads of medications which could easily be stopped, and many that can be stopped, depending on the condition of the patient and the attitude of the patient. I doubt if anyone would deny that more medicines are consumed than is necessary and that in many cases these can be replaced with a better diet and natural alternatives. In all cases, the person's attitude probably determines the change, and sometimes this would be after consultation with the doctor to ensure some things don't need a gradual withdrawal. When a sensible person decides to take control, the outcome is usually an improvement. Attitude determines altitude.
@dawnald (84131)
• Shingle Springs, California
13 Nov 09
Boiling your cabbages twice - I like that. I'm sure you do reach a point in counseling where everything has been aired. Which doesn't automatically mean that everything has been resolved. Some things probably can't be. But it's a matter of deciding when your done, either because things are resolved or because it's time to give up. Some medical things I just wouldn't mess with without involving a doctor. Other things, I'd feel comfortable dropping and trying alternatives. Went cold turkey off my fibromyalgia meds two years ago and I feel just fine for it.
• Australia
11 Feb 10
"But it's a matter of deciding when your done, either because things are resolved or because it's time to give up" That depends on whether you are talking about the counselling or the problem. There is definitely a time to give up counselling. As far as the problem goes, as an optimist I like to think things CAN be resolved, so we NEVER give up, but as a realist I know this is not always possible - often because it takes two to tango. Thanks for the best response Dawn. I've only just found this. I'm browsing while waiting for an appointment later today to get results (hopefully).
1 person likes this
@dawnald (84131)
• Shingle Springs, California
11 Feb 10
giving up the counseling.... You're welcome.
@allknowing (63049)
• India
15 Nov 09
Giving up support totally will result in withdrawal symptoms. You need to do it gradually under the guidance of your counsellor. In fact that is one of the steps in therapy. The very fact that you are getting the feeling that you no longer need support is a right step in the direction of standing on your own legs.
1 person likes this
@dawnald (84131)
• Shingle Springs, California
16 Nov 09
I'm getting the feeling, he's dropping hints... lol
@allknowing (63049)
• India
16 Nov 09
Step by step and you will be there.
1 person likes this
@JenInTN (27565)
• United States
14 Nov 09
I don't know about that one. I have often wondered how a person in a support group decided that their time there is not needed anymore. I think it would be like a meication of sorts. Maybe someone would go less and less until they don't have to anymore.
1 person likes this
@JenInTN (27565)
• United States
14 Nov 09
*medication..sorry
1 person likes this
@dawnald (84131)
• Shingle Springs, California
16 Nov 09
I guess you have to decide on your own if it's helping you any more or not. I bet some people quit way to early though and others hang on for far too long.
@jillhill (37384)
• United States
14 Nov 09
When someone feels like they don't need it that's probably when it's time to stop....I have known a few people in counseling though that go on and on...and I have heard that some counselors don't find resolution because they also become addicted to their patient....and the money it brings into their business...but medically....that would be a bit different...take your meds for as long and the doctor says....or it might return.....etc
1 person likes this
@dawnald (84131)
• Shingle Springs, California
16 Nov 09
and if the doc is pushing you out the door, it's probably time to go...
@paula27661 (15899)
• Australia
14 Nov 09
That’s a good question and I have asked it many times myself! I see a psychologist and I take medication for depression. I haven’t been seeing the counsellor very long, I have booked six sessions with her ,I have four more to go and, because I don’t expect my life to be ‘fixed’ in a few hours I imagine that the six sessions will be enough. My doctor prescribed meds for me because I have been feeling lousy for most of my life and she suspects that I may suffer from depression. I feel she may be right because I feel so much better taking the tablets. My G P thought I would benefit from someone to talk to and so far so good but I realise it is not something I will do forever; I can’t afford it for one! I suppose you know yourself and by making the appointments further apart you would know that you can cope on your own again; I would imagine it would vary greatly from person to person.
1 person likes this
@dawnald (84131)
• Shingle Springs, California
16 Nov 09
Person to person and condition to condition... Some people are going to need support for a lot longer than others.
1 person likes this
• United States
13 Nov 09
Dawn- I suppose when you find that nothing is working even with treatment and that you are ending up with the same results. I would say that if it is related to your actual physical health it may best to consult another doctor who may find a different treatment plan that actually works. I'm not a huge fan of toss it all up in the air, go off all meds, and pray everything is fine. If it is spiritual/mental I would say that if you have done everything counseling has suggested, been honest with your self in said counseling, and the issues are still not going anywhere it is time to move on. It would very much depend upon what the issue was, but let us say it is marriage counseling. If both parties are unable to resolve their differences, and are making life difficult for each other then it is time to move out of the relationship. That would be fair to both involved. Namaste-Anora
1 person likes this
@dawnald (84131)
• Shingle Springs, California
14 Nov 09
Hi Anora - I definitely wouldn't recommend going off any medication cold turkey without consulting with a doctor first, though I have been guilty of that myself. But in my case, it was sort of an "optional" medication and not for anything life threatening. And as for the counseling, makes sense. If you've gotten to the point where there's nothing new to discuss, you've done your part and there's nothing further to resolve, might as well stop. Or just go back every so often as things come up. Thx for stopping by...
@Hatley (164672)
• Garden Grove, California
13 Nov 09
hi dawnald I think that depends on the medical treatment.some of us are on support so to speak for the rest of our lives as we need the team of doctor, diabetic nurse, and pharmacist to keep us on an even keel and our blood glucose where it should be. No wonder they call it a chronic disease. the truth of the matter is we are our own best counselor as we are the ones who decide to eat right, exercise right and take our meds as prescribed. Our diabetic friends are the best support one could find too. we learn to help each other to the newest things for diabetics and share all the new information we can find.
@dawnald (84131)
• Shingle Springs, California
13 Nov 09
I know there are some medical treatments that you shouldn't or can't discontinue. There are some where you can substitute natural remedies, though you should be really,really careful about that. It's great to have a support system though!