when you love, does love grow or lessen after years of being a couple???

uncertain - uncertain feelings
@simonelee (2721)
China
November 13, 2009 11:46pm CST
I'm curious about this thought. Does love really grow or lessen after years of loving?(as a boyfriend/girlfriend or husband and wife) have you ever experienced questioning your self? are you sure about your current relationship? does your love grow or fading?? what do you usually do to answer your doubt? I heard a lot of stories about being uncertain of their feelings and I'm curious if this really happened to individual. In your situation right now, how do you feel? have you ever questioned your self if you are being true and fare to your self? are you in love or not? does staying in a relationship that your not sure of is healthy?
3 people like this
19 responses
7 Mar 11
my boyfriend and i have been together for a year and half already.. i felt we were growing stronger til one day he told me his love for me lessened a bit.. i dont know what to feel.. he tells me not to worry because its just a small fraction and he still does love me.. i really dont understand what it means.. please help me..
@bulastika (5967)
• Philippines
9 Dec 09
May I ask..How about you? I want to listen to your side of story to.lolz So if its okay with you. I'm curious to. Can you relate yourself to the question? lolz Yeah..I think love is miss understood..Theirs a difference between love and like..I like that person so much but do it means that you love that person? Sometimes we just realize that we like that person so much that we mistook it as love. Or we really love that person but that person we love chance or not as we thought he or she is. It so easy to to distinguish love from like.. Do you like that person because of his looks? then that's not love.. Imagine 50 years from now..How that person look..Do you like like him? .... Just make a question then add 50 years from his/her age.. If you still have same answer. Then its love.. What's love got to do with it..
• India
30 Nov 09
Its so simple.. it purely depends among themselves.. if they dont expect anything from each other then definitely love grows like a virus between them.. if they expect many things from their partener then obviously love fades over time passes on.. love is all about giving giving giving.. when they start expecting from others it means they are not giving.. so how can love grow there?
• United States
16 Nov 09
Yes love does grow it grows into respect, friendship and loyalties. No I haven't questioned myself if this realtionship is loving. Yes I am sure I wouldn't change a thing I met my best friend and he will stay my best friend. It's hard in this day in age to find a relationship that will last longer then a year. My relationship has been tested and tried but managed to keep it alive by respecting, listening, talking about my feelings to him and understanding If we both didn't do that we'd be seperated by now yet after 15 years we still have our moments where we fight. No relationship is perfect. Yep after 15 years I still love him I wouldn't do anything different with him. I may of waited on kids but this relationship has been the most healthy one I have ever had and that has lasted 15 years. Once you meet your soul mate/special friend you will not be able to let go no matter how difficult it is to stay together.
@werdan88 (273)
• Philippines
14 Nov 09
It would depend on how string you relationship is and how healthy is has become. Some relationships tend to become sour as time passes by while some grow in their relationships
• India
14 Nov 09
Love is a very simple yet a very complex feeling. It cant be ever defined . But it can be described as an amaizing feeling and when that feeling runs through all your veins and arteries,you can consider it as love. In the initial stages of our life, most of us have a confusion between love and attraction . Though love is somehow related to attraction, love is much much deeper than attraction. When we find true love, love can only grow but if a relationship stands on the platform of only attraction , this attraction misinterpreted as love can only lessen up in the coming time because love is something much more than just attraction.
@cher913 (25895)
• Canada
14 Nov 09
no, i dont think so. loving someone else is hard work which a lot of people just dont want to be bothered with any more. hubby and i have been married for 22 years and it gets better with age if anything.
• United States
14 Nov 09
Well I think that your love grows,because the feelings that you had for that person will increase.When you truly love someone everyday with them is like the first day.
@mods196621 (3631)
• Philippines
14 Nov 09
If i truly love my partner the rating of love goes up of to the maximum level. I feel much love toward him even we are almost in 20years of being a husband and wife. Sometimes that was happened to me asking myself " do i love really my husband?" and to answer that question I need to think deeply and search to my soul the answer. Well in God's blessing the answer is positive. I still love him. But you are right there is a certain thing happened the decreasing level of love to a partner. One time when i don't have a partner yet and I have boyfriend before, i felt that i don't love him and i don't like to see him. The level of love has decreased. Until I decided to stop seeing him and changed. If that happened the relationship become weak which is unhealthy that we need to resolved as early as we can. Let us be happy in our daily lives.
• United States
14 Nov 09
I have been married for a little over two years now and I feel that love grows every day. My parents have been married 34 years and my grandparents almost 61 years. I was always told that love grows more and more each day. I have never had any doubts about loving my husband. He is my best friend and my lover. I love my husband, he is my soul mate and the man I want to grow old with. He and I have so many plans and we will do everything together. If one is uncertain about a relationship you need to take a deep look and find out why you love this person. It is not healthy to stay in a relationship with someone who makes you unhappy because it will cause you health problems such as depression. One needs to be happy with themselves before they can make someone else happy.
@paula27661 (15900)
• Australia
14 Nov 09
I don’t know whether loves fades because that would depend on the relationship but I do know that it changes and it is not a bad thing. We all get over the initial ‘falling in love and bumping into walls’ kind of thing eventually and that is when there seems to be a shift in the relationship; it is when you can suddenly see your partner’s flaws because you are not blinded by the initial attraction and you can love him or her anyway warts and all, that is the kind of love that may last a life time, the kind of love where you are friends first.
@zed_k4 (17633)
• Singapore
14 Nov 09
Let me give this a try. For me, I think love will only grow strong and healthily with time. If nurtured with trust and tender, loving care, it can only mean one thing, which is to grow progressively steady. I think love that are lessened are those that are not nurtured with the values I've said. Oh yeah, mutual respect and a bit of personal space is important as well. For the love to keep on growing. Very good topic here..
@Hazelrose (2186)
• Philippines
14 Nov 09
Hi simonnelee,In 32 years of my married life i can say that my love to my husband is growing stronger and i am really sure and true to myself.Before when i was in my younger days and we're in the adjustment period i was just think it positively.But now In God's grace we have a one big happy family.Thanks,God Bless!
• India
14 Nov 09
if it is a seriouly a true love then yes it grows day by day. may be the way of expressing can change but it remain forever, but once again it should be the true love not just infectuation. Most of the time people are unable to understand that they are in love or just a attrection towards individual, so that has to be checked out perticulerly.
@jewels49 (1784)
• United States
14 Nov 09
32 years of knowing him and over 20 being married to him and he still makes me laugh. Every day. It grows if it's the right person and you both do the work. Somedays it grows faster than others, and some days you trust it to get you through when tolerance is the only emotion you can muster. I wouldn't have been true to myself had I not married him..even now he's the best thing I ever did for myself.
@LisaGuo (242)
• China
14 Nov 09
We're in a relation for year,we'll love change the male and female's love to the love between families.It's different,but the love is still there.
@borhan (1345)
• United States
14 Nov 09
LOve grows with the passage of time. It is in every relationship. Brother- sister, between friends, husband wife in everywhere. In my situation, i can claim that for my wife; the amount of love is growing up ergonomically everyday. Relationship is something very specially made by God. You maintain the relationship, God will increase it. Have a nice day.
@sugarfloss (2140)
• Malaysia
14 Nov 09
hi there simonelee. I believe love is up to the individual. I've been with my boyfriend for 3 strong years and I haven't experienced growing out of love. He works on weekdays and being an understanding girlfriend,I try to have lunch with him whenever he has time to spare. His work is eatingg our time together but I believe absence makes the heart grow fonder. I try to cherish the times we get to spend together. He cooks for me when we're together and I help him clean(cos I don't cook!teehee)Give and take sure sounds healthy to me:)
@rg0205 (2638)
• Hong Kong
14 Nov 09
In my experience, the more we had gotten to know eachother over the years, the more closer we've grown. I think the answer varies from person to person, depending on the quality of the relationship. Many lovers are just lovers. They aren't actually friends apart from that aspect. For me and my boyfriend, we are friends, apart from being together as a couple. We actually enjoy time together and we can talk about things that friends do so we don't have trouble keeping the "fires" burning so to speak. I feel happy and I do think I am being fair and true to myself. Yes, I am in love and no, I wouldn't stay in a relationship if it were unhealthy or detrimental to myself. Love is as far as it goes when it comes to someone hurting you too much to cause you harm.