Do you get offended easily by the words and deeds of others?

By Bala
@balasri (26554)
India
November 17, 2009 2:52am CST
I used to be very touchy before I read these wonderful words of Mahathma Gandhi. “Nobody can hurt me without my permission.” How do you find this declaration of the great soul?
8 people like this
23 responses
@kalav56 (11503)
• India
18 Nov 09
Yes Bala.I used to , am still sensitive and the sadder thing in this is that I have a pretty transparent face that shows feelings on my face.I wish to change, develop a sterner and harder attitude.I am still hopeful that I would achieve a bit of nenjuram some day.I allow myself to be hurt[Am working against this.] and I wholeheartedly agree with the statement of the great soul.
3 people like this
@balasri (26554)
• India
18 Nov 09
I can understand that we are all just normal athmas. It is easily said than done to be patient when people are slinging mud on you. But if we sit down and think about it the act of getting irritated and reacting bring only the bad effects to our body and soul. If we nurture the irritating words in our mind they do tend to reflect on our health in due course. And that it doesn't mean that we have to be the door mat of others. We have to fight for the justice with our tooth and nail as the same Mahathma preached. But we have to make our hearts strong enough so that whenever empty words and accusations are hurled at us they should get deflected from that mind of steel.
3 people like this
@kalav56 (11503)
• India
19 Nov 09
Absolutely true.It takes a lot of grit to be tough and stern when people say unjustified things. And as you had said, harbouring these things ultimately ruins our own peace of mind thereby affecting our health.Now I have learnt to view things ina more dispassionate way.
2 people like this
@balasri (26554)
• India
19 Nov 09
I am just happy to know that.
1 person likes this
@R_Huang (13)
• China
19 Nov 09
I used to be very touchy too.And I sometimes will show temper when someone said something I just don't agree, which I don't know how to argue.Later, I found that it's not a good idea. Then, I realise that just smile at this situation is good.So I would smile first, then speak.
3 people like this
@balasri (26554)
• India
19 Nov 09
Your are absolutely right.A smile is a great healer.
2 people like this
@happy6162 (3011)
• United States
18 Nov 09
I used to get very upset by what people would say. I now just let them talk and do not let it affect me because people are going to say what they want and you can not change them. I agree that noone can hurt me unless I let them.
3 people like this
@balasri (26554)
• India
19 Nov 09
That is the spirit.If you practice what you have written you will live up to your avatar name.
2 people like this
@ronnyb (6125)
• Jamaica
18 Nov 09
Well I think that as humans who are born with feelings adn emotion ,we often get hurt by others deeds and words sometimes.Some persons are more "thick skinned" than others and can take just about anything .Personally for me I am not easily hurt ,I have come to expect that otehrs will do almost anything but there are soem people like my close family who may hurt me with perhaps the simpliest if deeds because I have a higher standard for them
2 people like this
@balasri (26554)
• India
19 Nov 09
We do not have to be thick skinned to the atrocities and abuses hurled towards us.We sure have to be ready to face the bouquets and brick bats that are thrown at us during the process of any good deed we volunteered to undertake.
2 people like this
@aerous (13474)
• Philippines
19 Nov 09
That words really deep in meaning. But i think that is pointed in a government that being influence by other nation and wanted to be free in purpose...Have a nice day!
@bjcyrix (6910)
• Philippines
17 Nov 09
Nope, I dont get offended that easily with whatever insult people throws at me. Good thing that doesnt happen often.LOL Generally speaking, I just dont care what they say. I know what I am, I know what I did, I know what Im doing, and I know what I will be doing. Same thing goes with the "how".^_^ If their 'insult' is spot on, then fine they got it right, so what? If its waay of the mark, then all the more that I will just shrug it off. With those words, well, that kinda goes into how close a person is to us. We let them get that close enough that we dont mind being vulnerable to them. That act shows that we trust that person enough not to hurt us when we have shown our vulnerability to them. It is up to them if they want to take care of that privilege or they're going to abuse it by intentionally hurting us. Though there are those occasions when the other person did not intend to hurt, but in our sensitivity to that person, we get hurt all the same. So, we only let those people we care about hurt us since we give them the privilege of being that close to us. Hope that made sense somehow.
@balasri (26554)
• India
17 Nov 09
That sure makes a lot of sense my friend.
1 person likes this
@bjcyrix (6910)
• Philippines
17 Nov 09
Okay, glad to know I managed to get that across.LOL
• United States
30 Dec 09
in the words of someone much wiser than me "sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me" ok that person was an idiot words do sometimes hurt especially coming from someone that you love
1 person likes this
@balasri (26554)
• India
30 Dec 09
Great as usual.I can understand Zu. Wishing you your hubby and the children a wonderful New New Year. -Bala
• Canada
8 Dec 09
There are people who offend me simply because I know what is going on, and there is a history there, but if people whom I don't know say something, I am not affected by them.
1 person likes this
@balasri (26554)
• India
8 Dec 09
Right.Strangers rarely makes an effect with their actions.And it is the wisest thing not to take their comments into our heads too.
@Hatley (164654)
• Garden Grove, California
23 Nov 09
balasri me too but this is really so good to take to heart. that is so true when you think about it. If you do not let someone upset you then you will not be upset.It does work if one just thinks about it. Like Abraham lincoln said about happiness I reckon a man is about as happy as he makes up this mind to be. that is nobody can make you happy but yourself.
1 person likes this
@balasri (26554)
• India
23 Nov 09
Your response is very enlightening and comforting.
1 person likes this
@Mirita (2668)
• United States
17 Nov 09
Yes, you are so right. We allow bad people to hurt us by playing the victim role. Is important to show them that we are above negativity. This is why is so important for me to associate myself with only good people.
1 person likes this
@balasri (26554)
• India
18 Nov 09
We just cannot afford them to be gleeful by hurting us.Let us runaway with their tails tucked in between their legs seeing our ability to reflect away the missiles targeted towards us.
@stephcjh (32328)
• United States
17 Nov 09
It all depends on what it is. I try not to let a whole lot of things bother me but sometimes it cannot be helped. I can only take so much from a person before they how inconsiderate or rude they are.
1 person likes this
@balasri (26554)
• India
17 Nov 09
I just can understand your point Step.If all of us become Mahathma the word itself will loose it's meaning.
@paula27661 (15899)
• Australia
17 Nov 09
I love that quote very much! I am a very sensitive person who has always been easily hurt and rather ‘thin skinned’; I can see my eight year old daughter is the same. It is true that no one’s words can hurt you without your permission and it is indeed your choice whether you allow things and deeds to hurt you. I was brought up with mean words and one would think that I would be used to insults! My daughter’s teacher taught her that one should be a duck not a sponge, a duck will let everything wash over her and a sponge will absorb everything and keep it inside.
1 person likes this
@balasri (26554)
• India
17 Nov 09
I like that duck and sponge analogies.I will keep them to tell my daughter.Thanks Paula.
1 person likes this
@riyasam (16578)
• India
17 Nov 09
you are right,it all depends on the mind.i am a very emotional person and tend to get hurt very easily but over the years,i have conditioned my mind,not to be bothered by silly thinf\gs,i think the saying is so true!!!
1 person likes this
@balasri (26554)
• India
17 Nov 09
Absolutely Riya.We cannot afford to waste our precious time on any empty words.They sure mean nothing to us.
@acevivx (1566)
• Philippines
17 Nov 09
come to think of it, he is right. We can get hurt only if we allow it to happen and therefore it is within our control whether or not to let something hurt us. I am but human and even if i don't want to get hurt, sometimes I am affected by what others do. However, in my own way i guess i have been practising what Gandhi has said since i always try not to let things hurt me if i can help it.
1 person likes this
@balasri (26554)
• India
17 Nov 09
It is very easy to get hurt and infuriated and it is very hard to keep calm at the barking dogs.Practice makes us patient and reasonable.
• United States
17 Nov 09
As kids we used to chant..Sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me..Once upon a time, yes..when I worried about peer pressure, being a part of the group rather than apart from it..Anymore, tho, my notion is that 'Saying it don't make it so!' and I figure if what folks might say about me is right its for me to decide if its something I need hold onto or grow away from..and if folks are wrong about what they say about me then they're announcing their ignorance, which doesn't demand anger so much as pity..Enjoy!
@balasri (26554)
• India
17 Nov 09
Bravo!
• Philippines
17 Nov 09
That is the things i use to practice i my life as i think other would not hurt you physically unless you give them the freedom to do so. Even though i have less temper when it already reach my limit of patience it would explodes as it is my way to protect myself. I think toleration exist to those who is very understanding and have self control that a person remain calm unless he let self get affected.
@balasri (26554)
• India
17 Nov 09
Good fro you.
• Philippines
18 Nov 09
yup..tolerance is a virtue when it comes to a maximum limit then have to defend one beliefs or else the other opponent would swallow you whole..
@mommyboo (13198)
• United States
18 Nov 09
I look at the intent. If someone is PURPOSELY intending to irritate, annoy, frustrate or get me boiling over, then I probably WILL get offended. If they did not intend it and are APOLOGETIC and SORRY, then it is just a misunderstanding. I am also a bit cynical and have found out that quite a few people can ATTEMPT to hurt me without my permission simply because they think they have the right to be a jerk and get away with it. So... if the intent is messed up, then I come down on people. If the intent was pure, well, sometimes we can even be friends afterwards.
@balasri (26554)
• India
18 Nov 09
To sum it up it is good to be not get affected by the people who are useless and make useless remarks on us.
@sukumar794 (5047)
• Thiruvananthapuram, India
17 Nov 09
There would be little time left for other things if we listen to gossips about you spreading around.
@balasri (26554)
• India
17 Nov 09
Right.We just cannot afford to waste the precious seconds given to us that is constantly ticking away.
@JenInTN (27565)
• United States
17 Nov 09
I think they are very wise and great advice to survive in this world. There are always going to be those out there that feel like they have to belittle others to feel better about theirself. We can not let these things hurt us because we know who we are and what we are capable of.
@balasri (26554)
• India
17 Nov 09
Absolutely.You are very right Jen.
@Sreekala (22895)
• India
17 Nov 09
Hi Bala, It is very meaningful and it should be because it comes from the great personality. But I don’t know the practical side. How many people can follow the same? The strong declaration can give some relief that is for sure. We have to go long way to follow and adopt the methods. That is why he is great we are common. Thanks for sharing the great quote.
@balasri (26554)
• India
17 Nov 09
That is why Albert Einstein said the following about Mahatma Gandhi. "Generations to come will scarce believe that such a one as this walked the earth in flesh and blood" These words are etched in my mind and I get goose pimples whenever I recall them