Are you a fool?

@savypat (20246)
United States
November 19, 2009 3:54pm CST
How often do you find that people whom you think you know aren't anything like who you thought they were? When we lived in a small town, we knew so much more about everyone around us. I knew not only my teacher, but her husband and her 4 children. I knew how human she was, when trouble came into her life or when the good things happened. I never expected her to be exactly the same day in and day out. But the teacher I have now I know nothing about, in fact in many ways I could be taught by vidio, I have no contact with the human life behind the face called teacher. Of course there are 75 people in the class and this is just one of the classes she teaches each day. But when I did stumble on an article written about this teacher that showed she was not only a gifted artist but had three children at home who were disabled and a husband over in Iraq it changed everything for me. I did feel the fool for not appreciating the extra ordinary person my teacher was. It made me feel the fool and inspired me to find out more about my other teachers also. Do you go through life just taking people at aface value or do you go the extra bit to find the human behind the mask?
5 people like this
15 responses
@gabs8513 (48715)
• United Kingdom
19 Nov 09
No I don't I always think there is something behind the Person something that is not known to me I just get that feeling but I never ask But yes it amazing when you see a Person Day in and Day out behaving normal and then you find out something like that and wonder how can they carry on as normal
2 people like this
@dawnald (84146)
• Shingle Springs, California
20 Nov 09
If the person's at all approachable and shows interest in me also, then I will make the extra effort. Not possible to get to know everybody at more than a superficial level though.
1 person likes this
@cream97 (29166)
• United States
20 Nov 09
Great Discussion! savypat! At first, I may do this. But then as time goes by, I will realize that people are not what they seem to be. We all have a second life from the first life. I can attest to that. I wish that people could see me in the same light. They don't know what I have to deal with behind closed doors.. And when they get a taste at my real life, then they are appalled. I know my mother-in-law is this way.. That was very kind of you to see the teacher in her real light and not the light that you thought that you have seen her in..
1 person likes this
@lidiam84 (151)
• Netherlands
20 Nov 09
Let me tell you guys something that happened to me some time ago. There was this friend of a friend, I'm going to name her "Barbie" so that I don't have to say her real name. And my friend whom I am going to name her "Foe". (You'll see why in a minute). Well I used to tell Foe a lot of things considering I trusted her to be my friend and all. And well that's what friends do, we trust each other stuff believing that she won't tell anyone. Well one day me and Foe got into a fight because I was having a hard time deciding which school to choose and actually considering to quit school. And well Foe didn't want me to quit school and she was devastated even how many times I tried to explain that I just didn't like the subject and I am not completely stopping school I am just looking for a better alternative. I was up all night and I was supposed to go visit her but I woke up around 5PM so I was late. I called to apologize she took the apology and when I thought all was over.... it wasn't. Cuz she really wasn't OVER IT. To calm her anger she went to visit Barbie and did what any friend would do... she trusted her and told her what happened. What she did wrong.... is that she not only told her what happened but also told her told her some things I had trusted her with. One day I find in my facebook inbox and email from Barbie. Where she had called me by plenty of names including; "drama queen & Dumb Blond and another name that starts with B". She was directing this email to her sister but she mystakenly send it to me instead. I guess I can feel happy that if I am a dumb blond I am at least not the biggest one here. I was shocked because I still didn't know that she was sending it to her sister and I even thought she might have wanted to direct that email to me to bully me. I immediately did the right thing, I ignored her email and called Foe. I told her what I had found and she said she never thought she was capable of doing such a thing. And I told her "well, this is for you to see who you really trust". I made a mistake to trust Foe in the first place but I guess I trusted her just like she thought she could trust Barbie. 2 hours later Barbie sends an email saying she is "SORRY". That this should have happened so she can learn her lesson. Now I wonder... if I would have never gotten that email by mistake would she had felt sorry? Or would she just had continued emailing that email and then just laugh at me in my face. One thing I learned... don't trust Human beings, because they will trust someone else and then your little secrets will no longer be secrets.
1 person likes this
@sizzle3000 (3040)
• United States
20 Nov 09
I think this has to almost everyone. I know that it is what made me how I am now. YOu think that someone's there to be your friend and it turns out that instead they're just there to use you. You never know till it's too late and you're emotionally invested in this relationship and they do it and it hurts exremely bad. My daughter had learned this at an early age and that is sad. Adults doing this is one thing but how can children be so two faced now. They learn to be users at ages 9 and under now. It's a complete shame. I know my daughter thinks of herself as a fool constantly because she's naturally a good person and wants to believe the best in people.
1 person likes this
@moneymommy (3420)
• United States
20 Nov 09
Yes there are many people you just dont know whats behind them. I try to get to know people as much as I can. Most people have interesting stories and facts in there life that would shock some.
1 person likes this
• India
20 Nov 09
I dont think i fall into the category in your descriptive discussion.if you live knowing your limits you never become a fool. just dont try to fool around and dont let others fool you.then never in your lofe you become a fool.there are certain situations in my life that made me feel like a fool. now i guess its too much to write and dont want to be foolish to write something more.sotake care and by.
@redkathy (3375)
• United States
20 Nov 09
friends - two friends sitting together
I don't know if going the extra mile is the way i would classify getting to know someone. Personally I tend to talk with people that I come in contact with on a daily basis. That of course will depend on how eager they are to share information about themselves. Some people will always small talk yet never tell you anything personal. That is why I say going the extra mile doesn't always apply when getting to know someone.
1 person likes this
@Annmarks (39)
20 Nov 09
Quite often, I have found, people, not, to be, who, they say they are, often, it takes a while to find this out. We have lived in an area for years, people were friendly, we got to know, one another well, until, there was a problem, it showed, who, your true friends were. Some people, hide well their troubles, like your teacher did, we cannot, blame ourselves, for not knowing, if, people, do not say. I try not to take anyone for granted, I hope, I am a good friend, who, does listen well. When, you have a good relationship with a person, usually, they will confide in you, over time, otherwise, the friendship, always stays the same, never really grows. People, get, put to one side or forgotten about, if, they are quiet, do, not keep pushing themselves forward, like, when you find out about what your friend has to go through, needs lots of support, being there for her, it a good place to start, I am sure, she will be apprecaitive of you, whether, you are able to help much or not, she, will know, you are thinking of her, at least.
@PeacefulWmn9 (10424)
• United States
20 Nov 09
Far, far too often, even those who are friends and family I've known for years. I hold out hope though, and do still believe that most people mean us more good than harm. I DO love to search beneath the surface rather than taking anyone at face value. Karen
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (101592)
• United States
20 Nov 09
In some ways it is just harder to get to know people these days, and some people do not really want to be known. I admire you for taking a lesson from this experience, though.
• United States
20 Nov 09
Most of the time, someone has to open up a bit before I feel welcome to take any relationship farther, Pat. I sort of think that people who don't share anything about themselves don't want me to know anything. That's part of my New England background, although I don't even remember what it was like there...
1 person likes this
• United States
20 Nov 09
No, I don't go the extra mile of trying to know the people I come in contact with every day. I talk to many, many people in a days time, by phone or in person. Some I consider very good aquaintances, but not necessarily friends, someone I would call and plan a night out with. Therefore I would not dig into their lives and ask them what they and their families were all about. I would consider that a little too personal. If they wanted to divulge their personal life to me, I would be open to what they had to say, however, unless we were good friends, I don't think I would be comfortable in hearing everything about someone's life. With that said, I consider my life to be very personal, and I keep that side of me very private unless, again, we have developed a good friendship; neither would I want my good friends to divulge my private life to others. For this reason alone, I would not dig into someone elses. However, I have always considered myself pretty intuitive...sometimes after being with certain people, or observing someone for awhile, I can almost read into them, and figure out their personalities, and whether or not they are carrying baggage with them. I almost sense that there is more to them, then meets the eye so to speak. I try to tell myself that my intuition could be wrong, and that I should get to know them, and not assume wrongly, but it is when I get to know them, that I find out my intuition was right all along. Unfortunately, this does scare me away from alot of close friendships, and I tend to keep my distance from alot of people.
1 person likes this
@riyasam (16578)
• India
21 Nov 09
thays quite thought provoking,many i call my loved ones a fool(in anger)but i know in my heart of hearts that i can not do without them....
@JenInTN (27565)
• United States
21 Nov 09
There is often a lot more to people than we can actually see or give them credit for. I have often been surprised by the people that they have actually been. I actually get to know as much of people as they let me know.