Do You Thank Those That Hurt You OR Something Else?

An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth - An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth. For some people, those who have hurt them should be responsible for what they have done.
China
November 20, 2009 3:17am CST
It is a fact that all of us have got hurt, some of which are intentionally or unintentionally: contempt, intimidation, backbiting, disguise, betrayal, cheat, departure, confrontation, abandonment. For those who had hurt you, who once brought so much pain, struggle and tears to you, today, do you still harbor animosity? Or you have already got out of the haze, escaped the emotion shackles and are enjoying life in an outburst of delight? For me, I may tend to forgive and forget them and I'd like to thank those people, those who hurt me intentionally or just unintentionally, but let me break illusion and realize the reality. After that, I can become stronger, much maturer, and know more about how to distinguish and treasure persons who truly love me. Do you thank those that hurt you or something else? Thanks for your tips in advance!
12 people like this
58 responses
@peace001 (727)
• China
20 Nov 09
hi,getbrowser good topic.it happens several times.at first i will be sad and then i will adjust my emotion.i know it is not worthy to sad for the one who donot really care you.the one who care you\love you can never make you sad.have a good day
1 person likes this
• China
23 Nov 09
The same as i think.Just disregard them.
@unagie (122)
• India
20 Nov 09
well qudos to you getbrowser(ofcource not your real name), that you can so easily forgive people who hurt you. In my case it is very different, i broke up wit my girlfriend(rather she broke up with me) about 6months ago n still we are not into talking terms, its very hard to forgive a person for me. In fact i seek your advice on this, how to resolve this problem. Sometimes i feel guilty that its all my mistake.
1 person likes this
• Malaysia
20 Nov 09
During my young age I took concerned about that kind of 'obfuscation' factor which many times fugaciously happened and somewhat disturbed my life. Now I am 48 year-old and I consider it as 'human error' which be a new thrust force for me to fly higher by leaving them all behind me. Which means, acceptance is the best healer. I'm not just forget all about the incidents, but, I also forget them forever. I can no longer be back to the past life and from what I look now, their group remains no new life development as they always look down on others. They are justly like ants, will never fly.
1 person likes this
• United States
21 Nov 09
Although I forgive, I never forget. That being said, I believe that people who hurt you make you stronger, though you may not appreciate or realize it immediately. Many people have hurt me, but I am so much better for it. It is good when you become better for it instead of harboring animosity. It says to that person, "Nice try, but you're not getting the best of me!"
@lazerm (480)
• United States
21 Nov 09
ha! good one! thats what the undertaker in the wwe says. yes, you must not forget whats been done to you because todays "friends" are the first ones to put the knife in your back.I for one trust noone except my sister and most of the time, my brother- so I don't have to worry too much about being betrayed or stabbed in the back, when i'm not looking.
@lazerm (480)
• United States
21 Nov 09
oh, silly me the undertaker in the wwe says" I DON'T FORGIVE AND I DON'T FORGET " sorry for misquoting the phenom.I hope he doesn't see this!
• Philippines
20 Nov 09
I would not thank them in upfront situation as I have been hurt . Although, I may no longer harbor grudge against them they are still part of my painful growing up which I could forgive for the long run though I may hypocrite to say that i totally forget it. As I believe what the mouth could say is highly different from the mind thinking. I may forgive but not totally forgetting as the more i tend to throw away the memory the more i recall them. I think it have a positive implication in my life without them i would not strive for too long to achieve my goals in life. Maybe ,in my mind they could be serve as one of the challenges which would make me realize to give more focus on how my life is heeding for as without their pretenses demeanor I would not even lift my life to be the best that I could. I see the detractors as my inspiration although their is bitterness in it. It is a fact of life that I need to face to live by. Though, i need to be courageous and not act cowardice or else everything that i started with would begin to stumble..Thanking them i wold do only in my own introspection and not to deliberately confess to themas my own pleasure is my self to delight nonetheless they have part but lastly it is me who do all the acting.
• Philippines
20 Nov 09
forgiving them is alright but forgetting the experience is a loophole that it might happen again. i guess experience like that makes you stronger and be more careful in who do you trust, it's hard when you can't learn from your mistakes and trust the same person every-time.
• Philippines
20 Nov 09
hi letran, Yup..forgiving and forgetting is such a lonely words just like in a song everyone is so untrue... well, actually not all, only few....
@ccet26 (92)
• India
20 Nov 09
no never i never thank those people who hurt me ..
@unagie (122)
• India
20 Nov 09
same for me!!!!!
1 person likes this
• Boston, Massachusetts
20 Nov 09
Hi Getbrowser, Before i hate the thought of thanking those people who hurt me but as i aged i realized that there's always something to be thankful with for experiencing the pain. these people were sent to us for a purpose. the experience or encounter must be bad but you can always look beyond what you've learned from it. You may lose friends and people but the learnings from it will always be there and once it happened again you know how to handle things efficiently and effectively.
@sharryCD (121)
• China
22 Nov 09
I totally agree with you. When i was hurt by someone, i would of course feel a little depressed and sad at the very beginning. Or i would not want to associate with this kind of person any more. However,as i get older, i began to understand every experience, no matter happy or sad, is beneficial for my following days.I can get some more valuable and important lessons from this people.
• United States
5 Jan 10
Although I can forgive, I never forget. People that hurt us make us stronger, if we choose to let it. It is a good idea not to dwell on the fact that we were hurt and let that tear up our lives. If we do that, then they are still hurting us. This reminds me of the song "Fighter" by Christina Auguellira. "Made me that much wiser, made me that much stronger. Thanks for making me a fighter." So true.
• Indonesia
12 Dec 09
Hi getbrowser I always love your profile pics, make me remember about phi in mathematics and physics. Those are my favorite subject in school! I can forgive them. I have already forgive them, but I can't forget it. You know, I'm not hit by a car and get amnesia or what, so I can still remember it, but I have forgive them.. Same with you, at first I blame them who betray me, backbitting, say something wrong because too many imagination, ruin my relationship, etc. I cried and hate, really hate her. But as time goes by, I read some psychology books, the art of forgiving, etc. I didn't stuck in hate but search a way out. And I know, at the end I'll thank them for make me stronger. Without them I'll never learn to forgive, never search a way out of hatred, never think how to solve my problems, never feel how is it to cry until I fell a sleep.. I believe it's all depends on ourselves, want to see them as the one whose ruin or life, destroy peacefulness in our life, etc, OR to see them as the same human like us, who always make mistakes, and the one who make us stronger
@mmajay (15)
• India
24 Nov 09
It depends on the person. Forgive is nice we should forgive peoples for their mistakes but forget it really depends on person. If the person is the one who is very very close to you, you can't forget them. You can forget their mistakes but not them. This is what i think.
@elisse27 (181)
• Philippines
24 Nov 09
I have been hurt so many times. At first I cant even forgive them and can't imagine in talking to them whenever I get to see them but time as time goes by I always realize that every thing happens for a reason and I know that they have been given to me to teahc a lesson in life. I thank them for being a part of wonderful and teaching me one good lesson in life
• India
23 Nov 09
Really a nice discussion. If somebody near and dear hurts you its really painful. In such circumstances neither you can tolerate it nor you can do something. I have faced such from my own people. The only thing you can do is just shed tears. At that moment your pillow becomes your best friens.
@qamarep (4453)
• Pakistan
23 Nov 09
yes ofcourse i forgive them. the reason is that i know that if you dont forget those people who hurt you then you will burn inside your self and that is hurting yourself so before i start hurt myself then i forgive those people
@suzzy3 (8370)
23 Nov 09
I think the best thing to do is rise above it if you can otherwise it eats away at you.Like most people being hurt is part of life so learn from it and move on.I do have a couple of people who have done things I cannot forgive so I simply stay away from them.I have forgot how it made me feel at the time but just cannot forgive.Sometimes people hurt you because they are hurting themselves then I do forgive and forget as they would not normally do anything to hurt anyone.You have to judge and make allowances for those you love and care for.
• Philippines
23 Nov 09
I really dont know if I have to thank them for hurting me so much. But after reading your post I come to realize that maybe I should have to thank them. It's been few years that I've been carrying all the pain and it almost break me. For me I just love the person who treat me right and forget the ones who dont and just believe that everything happens for a reason. The important is I manage to move on now.
@sanuanu (11238)
• India
23 Nov 09
No, I am not that strong that I can thank those who are hurting me. I will never ever do that. Only for one reason is that I can't smile on their acts, so, they should not smile on my acts too! An eye for an eye is good for me!
• China
23 Nov 09
Hi, in China there are a sentence called "teeth to teeth!", it means that you should protcet yourself and fight for your right, well, i am not sure it's correct or not, i think it depends on the pain someone brought you. If you face a villain, not too much mercy.
• Saudi Arabia
22 Nov 09
I don't thank people who hurt me but I make it a point I learn something from it.
• United States
22 Nov 09
I try to forgive those who hurt me, but it has taken a long time to get to that point. While they were alive, my mother and mother-in-law made our marriage miserable by hating the mates their children chose. My mother-in-law widened the hatred she had for me to include our son, so much so that people thought he was adopted and not her blood kin! They made life so miserable, we began seeing them separately. I would visit my folks and Bruce would visit his. It took me twenty years to give up being nice to his mom and telling her off. She hurt my son one time too many and any iota of respect I had for her flew out the window. She still didn't like me but she at least had decent manners after that.
• United States
22 Nov 09
I take what has happened and try to put it in a line to see what has come from those that hurt me. Most of the time I have learned to be stronger but then there are a few that I just can not but hold animosity for them. It does not make you a better person for letting something go or to forgive just that what that person did has nothing in your life. Many of us who forgive and allow for that person still in our lives regret it most of the time. I feel it is better to be a loaner and live to yourself. Friends hurt you, family cause pain both ways and after all are they there when you need them that is what you should ask yourself if it is a no then why keep them in your life? I would have to say because you are not hurt enough yet to get rid of them. Life is a measure of rights and wrongs when people hurt you and sometimes you say it is just enough. Well I say hell with everyone do what you need and want and forget of what everyone says. Make life just the way you want it to be.