I am honest even when it makes me look bad... yet other people are such hypocrit

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It makes me so sad when I believe I am upfront and honest and I get no credit whatsoever and even made to look like the bad guy in the situation. I guess it doesnt help when your so called partner in life lies directly to your face and is the one that is doing the majority of the trash talking about you. It truly makes me just want to burst into tears. I cant tell you how many times I have contemplated the thoughts of suicide, just because of this. I wonder how someone can claim to love you and yet....