Do you forgive others so easily?

China
November 21, 2009 4:31pm CST
Someone just hurt me badly...and I decided not to talk to him anymore...But the next day, when I opened the door, I found his eyes were swollen from crying... Then, it just melted my anger... I realized that I was just so soft-hearted... What about you? Do you forgive others so easily when someone makes you angry or hurt you badly...
1 person likes this
23 responses
@bingchen (1126)
• China
6 Dec 09
when somebody hurt me deeply,i have thought that i could not excuse him.but i found that i learn to forget it when the time past for a long time.the hatred could not accampany me for my rest of life.even some people speak whisper to hurt me and destroy my reputation,i still keep silence to answer what they do.i found that this could not deal with anything,this only make me more suffering for their behaviour,so i learn to forget it when i am busy at my work and life,i think that people is strong animal,so we can overcome it at the bad situation.i live with confidence which can make me forget all of suffering.
@Chevee (5915)
• United States
23 Nov 09
I used to hold a grudge a long time. And I didn't forgive easily. Then I started studying the the World of God, seeking the kingdom of God. Now my attitude, and ways has changed to please Him (God). So my answer is yes, I forgive easily now. For this I refer to Luke 6:27-28. When people hurt you.
@gabs8513 (48717)
• United Kingdom
22 Nov 09
Yes I do and I have always been that way I can not stay angry to long with someone, when I see that they are upset because they have hurt me bad I to go soft and forgive
• United States
22 Nov 09
i would forgive becuase evrybody needs to and you know it and you need to face realty and face it.... you have to do what you need to do..... and you need to know tat when you say sa
@sizzle3000 (3040)
• United States
22 Nov 09
Some people I can forgive easily because I know them well. My husband does because he's just that soft hearted. He can't stay mad at anyone especially our daughter. My daughter can forgive over and over no matter how many times she gets hurt by the same person. She took her one boyfriend back 8 times because she's just like that and he was so apologetic. Thankfully she's with someone else who does not trat her like crap and shows her the love she deserves. Him on the other hand because he's been hurt himself through out his life can not forgive as easily. He takes it very personal and will walk away in anger. Everyone forgives in their own time it all depends on how many times you can take getting hurt and your personality.
• United States
22 Nov 09
For the most part. I think now that I'm a bit older I realize that some things aren't worth the energy to be upset about. So, if someone does something minor, I try to just ignore it, and if it's something major, I try to weigh the pros and cons of my relationship with that person to see if I really want them in my life. I think most times we just let our emotions get the best of us and we end up overreacting to things that are so minor, and in most cases I used to get hurt or easily upset over really dumb things. So, I think for me the best thing to do is to just ignore little things or not even worry about them at all.
• India
22 Nov 09
Yes I forgive everyone who hurts me very badly but I take some time for that. I don't have any problem in forgiving others quickly if they are ashamed of what they did it to me. I just ask him not do so again and forgive them. If the person is very bad and ungrateful in nature then I wait for some time till he feel regrets for what he has done with me and only then I may forgive such a man. Good Luck, Happy Mylotting.
• China
22 Nov 09
Absolutly,we both have soft-heart,being with my girlfriend I'm a pushover.I'm always the first to apologize after Quarrel evenif it was not my fault.how did I done that to my swettest girl.You know,it's all your fault when your girl not happy.
@JenInTN (27565)
• United States
22 Nov 09
I do forgive but I don't forget. I think that it is important that we don't open ourselves up to much to someone who has hurt us already. I'm not saying I wouldn't give them another chance..but I am saying I would be a little more guarded with them in the future.
@MrKennedy (1994)
22 Nov 09
Yes, I am a very forgiving person, yet sometimes I consider this a negative trait rather than a positive one. Whenever somebody has wronged me or done something bad against me, I will feel anger and hatred towards them until the moment they apologise. As soon as this happens, all my negativity directed at them suddenly drifts away and, considering the thing I hated them for to begin with wasn't particularly terrible or harmful, I will instantly be willing to forgive and forget and make amends with said person. However, as I've unfortunately discovered from past experience, forgiving can often cause more damage than good. For example, I remember from a few years ago that a "friend" of mine (you can probably guess we are friends no more) decided to go out of his way to make my life miserable. Now, after he apologised and practically begged for my forgiveness, saying how bad he had felt and that he would never do anything so despicable again, I said that I was willing to forget the whole event and that we could still remain friends. Needless to say he took advantage of my forgiving nature and, thinking that I would be willing to forgive him a second time, he again decided to use me as a target for his wrong-doing. And I made sure he absolutely regretted it. Basically, I've learnt that it is pleasant to have a forgiving side to your personality, yet it is vital to judge exactly who is deserving of forgiveness and who will merely use it to take advantage.
@ebuscat (5949)
• Philippines
22 Nov 09
For me I don't take it easy but I remember that we must forgive someone because if we don't do that we commit a sin.
• India
22 Nov 09
it is very tough
• Australia
22 Nov 09
It really depends what the person means to me. If this person was really nice and it was a one off mistake i would forgive them instantly and on the spot. If this person was a complete jerk i wouldn't talk to them even if they cry and beg for forgiveness. One sorry doesn't make up for a long period of annoyance and bullying.
• Hong Kong
22 Nov 09
hiddenwing, Yes, I do. I can't angry with someone for long. May be I am soft-hearted, too. I think to angry with someone would hurt ourselves, make us feel bad. To forgive, is a kind of gift that we give to ourselves. We feel happy after forgiving someone. To smile to others is always better than to have a black face in front of anybody. It is good to live happily rather than angrily. So, you are lucky, as you are soft-hearted. Happy Sunday! Best wishes, agonyaunt69 (3:05pm Sunday 22 Nov 2009 Hong Kong time)
@artistry (4154)
• United States
22 Nov 09
...Hi hiddenwing, I think it is only human nature to hold grudges against people who make you angry or hurt you in some way. But if you think about it, it is so much better to forgive the person for whatever it is they did, so that you will not continue to mull over what has happened and cause your blood pressure to rise and bad feelings to grow. It is not the person who hurt you or made you angry that suffers when you don't forgive them, it is you. So the quicker you get over it the better. Life is too short to hold bad feelings toward people, free yourself and move on with your life. This may take a lot of doing, but it is possible. Take it easy.
• India
22 Nov 09
Yes My Dear Friend,I will Forgive others people's mistakes Easily. The Reason is that the people who have intensely or by mistake Hurt You might be your Dear Ones to whom you like to Talk,Play,etc. so you can't always be in anger with them and Don't talk with them. So Forgive them because any one can do mistakes in the Life Although we all are Human Beings. If You Forgive them you will be a true Human being and will feel lot more happy.
• Malaysia
22 Nov 09
You should forgive him as he is getting hurt now. As we know that some people can't use good communication in contacting with people, they are so straight-forward and they even are not hurting your heart in purpose: they are innocent sometimes. If your friend come to you with swollen eyes, in which he had received his own consequences so far(act of revenge achieved) It is wise to accept his apologize and make friend again.
@Opal26 (17691)
• United States
22 Nov 09
Hey hiddenwing! I would have to say that it would depend on who or what the situation is. If I am really angry and someone has really hurt me then I am not very forgiving! I have gone a few years without talking to some of my friends! But, then eventually we have made up! But, I can hold a grudge for a long time if necessary!
@Pose123 (21667)
• Canada
22 Nov 09
Hi hiddenwing, There was a time when it took me a long time to forgive and sometimes it's very difficult,even today. I do find it much easier to forgive today though, because I know it's important for my health. Often too, the other person has no idea that he/she has hurt you so badly. It is good to remember that we all make mistakes and forgiving others makes for a happier life for all. Blessings.
@chookie1971 (2277)
• Australia
22 Nov 09
For me, It would have to depend about how I feel for the person. If I care for them alot then I will. If I don't care for the person then I won't forgive them as easy. There was a woman, who I was friends with. I cared for her but not really alot. She was asking questions about me behind my back which was not nice. 2 years later, I would rather avoid her as much as I can. She tried to talk to me, but I would rather not talk to her. Another woman who I have been friends with for at least 17 years. She has made a number of accusations about my husband and trying to disrupt the relationship between my husband and I for the last 16 years. Even though I do avoid her most of the time, I still take time out to spend time with her. I do care for her alot. She is like a sister to me. Although I do know, if she cares about me, she wouldn't be doing such a thing. If she keeps going, the friendship between her and I will end because I don't know how much more I can take. The last one, I had been friends with a guy for 4 and half years. He was special to me like a big brother. If I did have concerns when it did come to my husband, I would approach this guy for his opinion. It was until one day, he met a woman and started to have a relationship with her. He told her about me and she was unsure of me. After 7 months of their relationship, her and I started talking. After 2 weeks, both my friend and his girlfriend stopped talking to me. I eventually found out that she told him bad things about me which was not true. As he loves her so much, he believes her and he accused me of 3 different things. I had been trying to show him flaws in her story about me, but he does not believe me at all. As I would like his friendship back, I have forgiven him. I tell myself that he has been blinded by love. But I don't think I am able to convince him about any flaws in her story to create doubt that she may be not telling him the truth. At the end of the day, I do know the truth and so does she. She knows what she has done. For both of them, I hope he never finds out the truth because he will be devastated knowing that the love of his life has lied to him. He will feel like a real idiot. So as you can see from what I have written here, if I think of them as family, I will forgive them if they have hurt me. If I don't think of people as family, it is not as easy to forgive.