Have you ever let anyone read your journal?

United States
November 21, 2009 6:54pm CST
I am a diehard writer and journal about everything in my life. Recently my boyfriend asked to read my journal and when I refused he figured it was because I had written about someone I cheated on him with. It's not that, it's because I am deathly afraid of my most personal information being thrown back into my face if God forbid our relationship did not last. So my question to everyone out there is, have you ever let anyone read your journal/diary? Who and why?
5 people like this
15 responses
@psycospaz (320)
• United States
22 Nov 09
OHH NO. I have never let/never will let anyone read my journal. However my ex read it anyway and i could never forgive him. I felt very betrayed and violated even though there was nothing in there that he didn't already know it was still sooo awkward. I actually quit journaling for quite some time after that. I felt I couldn't put anything on paper and have it be safe, I even tried to keep it on my pc, under a password but I still couldn't write. I am now journaling again, but it has a lock on it.
1 person likes this
@Maggiepie (7821)
• United States
26 Nov 09
[b]How did he find out you kept a journal? If he hadn't found out, he'd never have been tempted to peek. In the future, besides keeping it locked, try labeling it "tax records," or some other dull title, & you could put it in plain sight & never have another problem! Maggiepie STALKERS WILL BE EATEN ^..^
• United States
26 Nov 09
Ya know I am not sure how he found out that I kept a journal in the first place. I never wrote in it around him and I didn't keep it obviously hidden, just in my purse. LOL.. TAXES I'll have to try that some time. I'll try it with like a photo album or something first and if it works then I will switch to my journal.
• United States
23 Nov 09
Odd as it may sound your bf may be trying to guilt you into reading it with the cheating comment. He probably doesn't believe that you have cheated at all. Most guys in a serious relationship are very insecure (even though they may not act it). He probably just wants to read it to see how you really feel about him. I, too, am an avid journal writer. I keep two: one for me, and one for him. This came at the advice of a therapist when dealing with some issues about not being able to communicate my feelings. I have now passed that stage, but still continue to journal to my bf. If it's something that he has done that bothers me, I still write how I feel. Then I reread it and tack a note on the end with how I feel now that I've written it down. He even writes back some days. Of course it's usually only a line or two. :) However, I do not believe in sharing your personal journal if you don't want to. If your boyfriend cannot respect your privacy enough and trust you enough...maybe you should talk to him about his issues with it. If he doesn't believe your not cheating simply because of your journal, maybe you should think about reconsidering the situation. Trust is one of those things that is very tricky. You'll be miserable without it though. Hope you guys can get something worked out that works for both of you.
@Maggiepie (7821)
• United States
26 Nov 09
[b]I think her boyfriend is just insecure, which means he's afraid, immature & inexperienced. That's all fixable... They need to communicate more often, & not be afraid to show true feelings. I hope it turns out well for them. Maggiepie STALKERS WILL BE EATEN ^..^
• China
22 Nov 09
No, I've never let anone ready my journal. I believe the reason that we keep a journal is to write some private things that we don't want others to share. If it can be shared with others, it can't be called a journal.
1 person likes this
@Maggiepie (7821)
• United States
26 Nov 09
[b]Well, strictly speaking, that's not so. There are different sorts of journals, & some are absolutely meant to be shared, or passed on to family. A person just above you does that. But when you keep a private journal, that kind is called a diary. And no-one has the right to see it unless it needs to be seen by a judge in some trial. Sorry to butt in, but I'm a linguist of sorts, & like to use precise definitions. Hope this helps! As you can see, I do agree 100% with your principle, though, regarding private things. Maggiepie STALKERS WILL BE EATEN ^..^
@pastorkayte (2255)
• United States
4 Feb 10
No! I would not let anyone read my journal, my private thoughts are my own. You do not have to do that. If your boyfriend cant understand this then he does not trust you or care for you as much as you thought. My husband would never invade my privacy that way, and no one else can make me do that.
• United States
28 Nov 09
No. But many people have. My father. My boyfriend. I write a lot too. Especially a long time ago. I was pretty serious about it and I was young. Getting broken hearted about it by having a father snooping was painful to my outlook on my ability to write as well as outlook on life. My boyfriend peaks at my journal and I tell him not to. He's not worth it though, and he's leaving. One part about writing is that I guess you do risk others looking at it. I'm in therapy though. Hopefully this will help. Peace.
@Maggiepie (7821)
• United States
26 Nov 09
[b]I once kept a journal, & I had several room mates back then. One of them was a girl (Call her "Mary") who, while very friendly most of the time, would occasionally feel threatened somehow by others, & she'd turn on them & attack them by throwing things in their face which they'd confided in her, trusting her to keep them private. Everyone liked her, but they became afraid to let her get too close. She always reminded me of a feral kitten, which wants desperately to be friends, but is so incapable of trusting anyone that, if you touch it, you are scratched or bitten. And then 5 minutes later, its need for a friend brings it back. You must be very patient with such frightened little animals. "Mary" got hold of my diary & didn't say so when she read it, but waited 'til the next time she felt threatened in some way, & out came the claws, & started shouting out some of my most private thoughts--in front of everyone! I'd said things in those pages just to vent, for example, knowing it was just to get it out of my system, never intending to utter any of those things to our friends! Fortunately, they'd all had enough wisdom to realize I really wasn't "hating" them. Some of them kept journals, too, after all, & I know they used them occasionally just as I had. They still remained my friends. Eventually, as always, "Mary" came back & apologized. And I accepted it. After that, I did keep up the diary for a while, but then, if I spoke about her in it, I would add, as a sly tweak, words such as, "Stop reading, Mary." I KNOW you are! Haha." I did wish I could see her expression when (I knew it wasn't "if" but "when") she read those tweaks! Eventually, though, I had to part with "Mary," & it made me sad, really, but I just couldn't take her mood swings & I confess I just had to admit to myself that I lacked the virtue of patience. My shortcoming. I pray for her whenever I think of her, which, after all these decades, is still pretty often. And while I've not forgotten how she was, I've never held a grudge. I love her, & I hope she's found a way to be happy. Now-a-days I don't have time to keep a record, & who'd ever see it anyway? When I die, most of my junk will be sold or tossed, & that's fine. I'd rather be written in the hearts of my friends, in great memories. That's the only journal I want, now. Maggiepie STALKERS WILL BE EATEN ^..^
@geeann (11)
• Hong Kong
23 Nov 09
i do not have a journal, even in my younger years. =)
• United States
22 Nov 09
I never really wrote in a journal but for those who do, I imagine it's a very personal thing where you can be yourself and write about anything without filtering it in the slightest. So, I could understand why you wouldn't want anyone to ever read it since it's so personal and most likely it's about every aspect of your life. It's weird your boyfriend would want to read it but it makes sense also. If you're close with him, I guess he might feel if you love him then you'd feel comfortable sharing everything with him, but I think it's rude and to some extent, disrespectful for him to want to invade on your privacy.
@x_Jo_x (1042)
22 Nov 09
Firstly, i hate how men always jump to the conclusion that you are cheating on them! Its so silly! Secondly, i have never let anyone read my diary. But my mum found it one time and read one entry about my ex who was abusive and luckily she then helped me get out of the relationship so it saved me really. So im lucky she found it! Although there was so much personal stuff in there and there still is! I really hope she never finds it again and i dont think i would ever let anyone read it. You write what you think, what you feel - thats personal to you! Its not for other people to read. They wouldnt like to tell you every single thing that happened to them during the day, and every little thing they thought or felt. If it was relevent that they read on specific bit then i might let them, otherwise no. I have condidered writing mine on my laptop which is password protected. Only problem with that is that if something goes wrong with your laptop then you have lost it all forever! With paper, some how it seems like its less likely to get distroyed
@Lornal (113)
• China
22 Nov 09
I wrote journal in the past.I think i never let someone read my journal, maybe i can read a part to him, but not all. Now i am so lazy to write the journal, only write a little. The other reason is that i do not want to record my past. To me, yesterday is going, today is the new beginning of everything.
@kathy714 (129)
• China
22 Nov 09
Actually it depends on the content and the person. If the diaries is about something I would like to share with others, I don't mind having people read it. But if the diary is very private which I would like to keep secret, I will absolutely not show to anyone, even the one I loved very much, like mother, father or boyfriend.
@erikmama (12934)
• United States
22 Nov 09
My journal has been read many times, to the point I stopped writing for a while. I do not allow anyone to read it. It is a personal reflection of how I was feeling at a paticular time. I share everything else,and this is one thing I want to keep private.
@cream97 (29175)
• United States
22 Nov 09
Hi, Ice. No,, I have never deliberately let anyone just read my journal, that is my private life. Although years ago, my mean aunt helped herself to reading my diary/journal. And she found some secrets out that I did not want anyone to know about. She brought them up in my face.. I was so ashamed... Your boyfriend should respect that you need your journal to be a part of you that is private. He should not expect to know everything about you. He has to respect your privacy if he cares about you.
@kdhartford (1152)
• United States
22 Nov 09
I keep a journal on and off. I don't write in it everyday; I usually use it when I am doing something interesting. I want to leave a record of my life for my children and my children's children. I probably will not let them read it, until I have passed away. I'm not famous and probably never will be, but I have lived a pretty interesting life and have learned a lot. I think that my family would be interested in my time at war and my time at peace. I have the diaries of my forefathers and they fascinated and inspired me.
@Porcospino (16434)
• Denmark
22 Nov 09
My husband asked me if he could read my diary. I didn't want to give it to him, but I didn't mind reading parts of it aloud to him. That way I can decide which things I want to share with him and which things I want to keep to myself. I don't want to give him my diary, but that doesn't mean that I have written about things that I want to hide from him. I have never cheated on him, I am not dreaming about other men or anything like that, to me a diary is simply private thing. My diary is a place where I can express my thoughts and my feelings, and the things that I have written about are meant for me and not for others.