how to help a friend?
By paleorainy
@paleorainy (630)
Italy
November 22, 2009 3:32pm CST
my best friend is having financial troubles, I don't exactly know how much.
I cannot help him because I'm into financial troubles too, so I actually don't have the money. What I think I can offer to him is just my friendship and the support I can give just talking to him.
I don't really know what to do because we talked and tried to find solutions that now he'll verify. But I don't initiate the subject with him unless he does, I guess his family already obsess him enough, I want him to relax and have a good time with me.
I don't know how to handle the thing, I'm not really talking about looking for solution but even just what to talk about, what can I say that might help him. I don't know. For example, is it ok that I let him talking about it but don't initiate the subject myself?
I'm afraid to put pressure on him as he already has enough.
What would you like your best friend to do, should you have financial troubles?
2 people like this
8 responses
@annshie143 (53)
• India
24 Nov 09
ya, i 2 ve financial troubles. but still i m a studdent. nd most of my troubles solved by my father. as he is my best friend. actually i never ask any of my frend for financially help me. of course there are many other help they can do it fr me. bt if i ve financial trouble in my life. i do wan my best fren, even i xpect first from him dat he would help only. datz will b my ist priorty. bt if he unable to do then dnt wory , i can understand him. every one has problems. i xpect some suggestion from him. but surelt he will help me out?
@mysteriousrouge (90)
• United States
23 Nov 09
your his friend you can only do so much for that friend. It's okay to talk about your difficulties.
If my friend was in a financial rut, I would offer time, shoulder and a good ear. Just being his/her friend is all that should matter for friendship does alot when one is sad.
I don't want my friend to bail me out, I don't want my friend to fix my issues, I'd just want someone there who can relate and give me opinions.
It is ok to let him talk about it and it is okay for you to start the issue to so that you can say you are in the same boat to.
Hope all works out.
@ladym33 (10979)
• United States
22 Nov 09
Since he probably already knows you can't help him out financially he probably just needs to talk about it. It is probably upsetting him so it probaby helps him to talk about it. As a friend all you can do is listen and sympathise. Then perhaps after he talks for a while you can suggest you put your troubles a way for a little while and do something fun.
@CathyLee2009 (429)
• China
23 Nov 09
hi,paleorainy!
it is very nice for you to care about your friend.
we can help our friends solve many problems by many ways,but when it comes to financial problems,it seems there is very little we could do about it.because financal problems need money most,not care.so many people keep silence about their financial problems.because they know that it is unnecessary to worry friends about such problems.maybe the best their friends can do is keep silence too,lest put pressure on them.execept they could lend friends some money.oh,it is really a unpleasnat problem.
hope your friend can go through it.
have a nice day!
@barbara7321 (240)
• United States
23 Nov 09
Listen to them when they talk about it, but try not to bring it up. Try to make your friend laugh, and maybe mention mylotting to them for at least some pocket change.
@madie8008 (209)
• Malaysia
23 Nov 09
It is good to have a nice friend like you. Being a good friend can be in many ways, from comforting to giving advices. Sometimes people just need listening ears for them to express themselves. It is like therapy, one have to know the base of their problem and find the way to handle it. Maybe, you two can cooperate to solve both of your financial issues.
@spalladino (17891)
• United States
22 Nov 09
It's good that you want to be there for your friend in any way that you're able. Yes, it's best to let him bring up the subject of his problems when the two of you are together so that he is free to take his mind off of them if he wants to. Keep looking for ways to help him and keep being a friend. That's really all that you can do right now.
@HansonFan (1653)
• United States
22 Nov 09
I think you are doing the only thing you can do. Be a friend and ready to be there whenever you are needed without mentioning the problem. Do things together that don't cost money and the problem will eventually go away. Its a hard time of the year for everyone with the holidays and everything. Things will get better for the both of you, just ride it out. :)
