Chronic health problems...a license to be cranky and demanding?

Yes I have seen the sudden character and attitude change in some sick people. I think that it is due to the shock and disappointment of made to understood that they are sick in spite of their long held belief that nothing could go wrong with them. They start to look at the world with the eyes of bitterness. Their minds get filled up with self pity and jealousy at the people who are healthy. It needs greater understanding to deal with them. We can do that if we are aware that we also may come to that stage in the future.

I know u do Karen as i do & i admire the way u keep on keeping on. People who spend their life sick & grunting about it drive me nuts. U know the kind of person i mean. I have all the compassion in the world for people who are really sick , don't get me wrong but some people seem to enjoy ill health & use it everyway they can. I have a dear friend that was grunting the first time i ever did her hair in 1962 , she is still grunting till this day. She does has problems & i love her dearly but she has done this forever, My mother was alot like that to, drove me nuts to be honest. Some people just make a career out of grunting.

Hi Karen I have COPD and Emphasima I was diagnosed 7 years ago with it but believed to have already had it for 4 years then It was a big shock to me as I had always been healthy and independent, I was also going through a divorce and I was bullied out of my 8 year Job which I fought for 6 months but then collapsed, the Company had to pay me some money as I had all the evidence to proof my Innocence in what I was being accused of For the first year I was terrible, not demanding or anything, but with drawn, angry, I just could not understand why My Children where wonderful they where 18 and 15 at the time I also ended up on Anti Depressants, due to a lot of things over many years but the Illness just did it and I could not cope, I had never been on them I tackled and fought everything myself always but my Doctor said no more So it took me a while to get my energy back but I still did things myself I did not shout or demand, yes I felt like I did not want to carry on, but I did, my Children where then and still are now my Rock Then I realized I was letting the Illness get to me and I started to fight back, my Doctor had told me I will not be able to work any more, there was another blow, I had to fight for a year to get my Disability, I lost my House, but I carried on and even now, I live alone, as I moved to a different Place from my Children, they live 3 hours away but they are always phoning I moved here 3 years ago in February to be with the Man who showed me what real love and care is , my Children both work and we are very close always have been To me if People let it get to them and turn demanding, horrible and attention seeking well I would tolerate it for so long but then I would say something I was advised that it might be a good Idea to get help in with the Housework I refused as I am still able to do it ok maybe bit by bit but my Flat is clean and I do it myself, no need to put someone through it when I can do it I am still independent, but I know if I ever need anything I have 2 lovely Neighbours who will help me out, a few Months back one of them (the Landlords Daughter) rushed me to Hospital at 11pm and stayed with me for the 5 hours I had to be on a drip and then brought me back home once the Hospital let me home, and I appreciate that If I feel down my Friends on here are always there, the Problem is People let it get them instead of finding a new Hobby I had never known how to use a Computer until I became Ill and everything I know is self taught it keeps my mind going and that is the secret find something to keep you going instead of making Peoples Life a misery The time to tell them to stop and to live their Life as well as they can I guess is when you think the time has come to open their eyes and tell them to be grateful to the fact they can still lead a Life there are others that can't Oooopppss sorry it is so long Karen

Yes well I also suffer from chronic health conditions myself, and although I may at times be tempted to scream or practically strangle someone, I don't and refrain from doing that. When when I'm really not feeling well, I just lie low and turn into a hermit. However, other family members or friends are unable to do this and will take out their frustrations on me. While of course I am sympathetic to their health issues, as it's not pleasant being in pain, I will try to distance myself from them when they're feeling this way. My Father in particular has a long list of ailments: everything from type 2 diabetes, slipped disk, chronic back pains from an old accident, excruciating headaches, arthritis, osteo, as well as many more that I can't even remember.

I do believe it can make you cranky at times. But even though I am in constant pain, I am not demanding or cranky.

Hi Karen, I've never come across the slightest grouch from you and didn't realise you were in pain. Others harp on about such things all the time as an excuse for their negative personalities. I know exactly what it's like to be dragged down with a condition which literally makes one scream in pain and I hated having to ask for help and certainly one of the worst parts was if a pain attack came on in public. If it was so bad I could literally do nothing but scream I'd rather be in the privacy of my own home. After the last bout of 5 years of such pain, not all day every day but generally a couple of hours a day, which is totally exhausting, I finally got the right help early this year and now am pain free whereas before I went constantly round in circles trying to find a solution, endless research etc. Due to two herniated discs at the top of my spine I went through two surgeries which involved having my throat cut open to remove the discs and was still in pain through totally damaged nerve ends. Nothing worked, until I met a dr who sorted it all with a rigid exercise programme to strenghten the muscles and spine, changes in lifestyle etc. Very few people would have access to anyone prepared to give so much time to help, when people talk of physio this was much more intense and worked on constantly in his own time as he is a marvellous person. The wonder of being able to drive again without pulling over in agony. I don't know if I'd had to endure much more of it what it would have turned me into, but it does show that their are solutions out there which are non invasive and there are other routes to be found beside the general dr's advice. Maybe there will be a solution out there for your illness Karen, I hope so.

well, i know when i am feeling really tired or sore i tend to be grumpy and have to apologize to my family but i try to be upbeat and postive and like you, i hate to put people out!

Hi, PeacefulWmn9! If they get on my nerves I will either ignore them or tell them about themselves. I had to let my mother-in-law know about this some years back. I told her that just because she is sick does not give her a right to be mean and mistreat me or others. I told her that it was not fair. I told her that I know many people whom are sicker than she is, that does not mistreat others. I told her that it was no excuse for her attitude. I told her that it was her own evil mind telling her to be mean. It was a choice, she did not have to be mean, she just chose to be mean to others. I dislike it when people are this way. They think that they can just get away with being ugly, being they have an illness or an condition. It is sad that they are this way, but the only thing that we can do is just inform them that they have to treat others as they would like to be treated, whether they are sick or not.

I don't like for people to know that I am ill, so I don't talk about it unless I have been asked a direct question and I try to always be up beat in my attitude. When I hurt to much to do this I just stay away from others, why should they have to put up with me when I am ill?

Hello my frend PeacefulWmn9 Ji, Well, I am sufferingwith RA / DM2 / HTN / UTI since 17 / 10 /23/5 yrs in order. It was my hubby only, who made me to live independently. In 2003, we had to undertake Flight to Miami, and it took me one year to overcomefear from my mind that I could take that flt. In fact in those days I used to be always with some aid like stool to climb on Bike/scooter. How to reach after flying for 222-23 hrs with one transit.But my hubby did all this and that flt made me realize thatr one should live independently till help is required. At this old age, our mutual help is very much needed. You have also been great helpabout my patient. I overlook such patient, who pose taht tehy are sick and require attention from everyone.One suchcases is of our elder DIL's grand mother, Sje has been bed-ridden since 15 yrs and wants everyone stand by and listen to her.nurse her. May God bless You and have a great time.

No one, healthy or otherwise has the right to go around making other's miserable just because they can. That kind of behavior is childish and you can tell anyone at any time they are inappropriate.

I think that a lot of the way that a person with a chronic health condition behaves has to do with their personality before they had a chronic health condition. My grandmother was one of the people that I knew that had a chronic health problem, but she was never any more cranky and demanding after she was diagnosed with diabetes than before she was diagnosed with it. I think that it would be best for people to take their conditions in stride than to be cranky and demanding about the fact that they've developed a chronic condition.

Hi Karen, I pray God will heal you, pertaining to those that are affected with those kind of sickness I know many of them here in my country, some of them move up and down all the day begin for money, sometime i do give them money if i have and if i don't have Enoch cash i just past away.I don't make chest of them because my father won me frequently not to make chest of anybody that God created and he also supported his word with some verse in the bible.

I was in my twenties when I first developed cancer, had the radiation and then for the past ten years or so have been in pain. It took me some time to get over myself in the beginning. It was a hard adjustment. I have learned so much from my illness though, and has made me grow up and realize I am not the only one going through difficulties. Some days I am not perfect and I feel like crawling in my bed and not getting out. Sometimes I do just that. Other days in spite of the pain I can move mountains. It is something I find I must always work on. Each day is different.I find that depression can be the most debilitating of all. Sometimes when we have chronic illness and pain, we must also try to heal the mind, as it sometimes can be overwhelmed. Hope this helps!

Oooo...You mean chronic back pain gives me a license to be qwitchy? There are days when I hurt so bad I can't stand it. I know there are days when I'm grouch, but I try hard not to be. My biggest irritation right now is that I can't do what I need or want to do. I hate being dependent on my husband and children to do the simplist things for me.

Hi Karen, What is it that you are suffering from? I used to have persistent allergic colds and would sneeze a lot. I used to get to annoyed when it would occur, but thank God this has not been bothering me for the past year or so. It came suddenly and I believe its gone now. My father is a great attention seeker but he isn't suffering from any chronic illness. But its so fun to be with him. Bodhi

Hi Karen, I must agree with you, most if not all people who suffer from certain illness tend to be cranky and mean. It must be difficult being not able to function normally due to the limitations brought about by the illness. Personally when faced with these people, I try to understand them and to a certain degree tolerate them. I sympathize with them and try to be a little nicer to them, otherwise they'll feel self-pity which could aggravate their situation.

I didn't like people who asked for special care because of their illness.In daily life, if someone kept telling everybody he met that he was sick or caught a cold, I would show indifference when he looked for sympathy or attention. But now my attitude changed, I gradually understand that people who are ill. not just physical cure for the illness needed, psychology care or attention from friends or relatives are also necessary.