Eager Beaver Syndrome

@SomeCowgirl (32273)
United States
November 22, 2009 9:13pm CST
I have really been itching to start a discussion about this, But I've got to work hard to get my point across and not make it a repeated discussion. I hope the title will help me figure out how to make this original. I have eager beaver syndrome, that is to say that I am itching for my husband and I to have our own place. So much so that I've found myself saying " I know we probably won't have our own place by next year " but inside of me I'm saying "but I'm going to keep the goal in mind" though I even tell people I know we probably won't have our own place by next year and that I'm still keeping the goal in mind I know deep inside of me that I'm extremely eager. Everything I do and think usually goes back to thinking of how to get some money saved up or what to do to get our own place etc. The truth is we have a great place here, but I don't know if it's a womanly thing or not, I just want to be able to decorate my own home, place the cups and silverware in my own drawers, and have the plates where I want them! lol! It's not that they aren't placed great here, in fact I really like where everything is here, it's just I want to be able to say it's "ours". So has anyone else felt this way? How long after you were married did you have your own place? What kind of place was it?(apartment, condo, trailer, doublewide, home) The truth is my husband and I are very picky. We want four bedrooms but I've been thinking that a four bedroom home may be too expensive. We want them for our future kids as well as game room / storage area. I've recently found a nice doublewide floorplan tha that has a game room and only three bedrooms. However, it has a "great room" a big room that my husband doesn't really like the idea of, and I'm not sure I do either. Comes on someone tell me I'm not alone in itching to have their own place! Another reason I want our own place is so that my husband and I can watch t.v. or play a video game and not have to share the t.v. That is to say, we have a t.v. in our bedroom now but if he wants to play his video game and I want to play mine if someone's in the den I have to do without, or use the laptop. I bet we sound immature, lol.
2 responses
@thea09 (18329)
• Greece
23 Nov 09
Hi Amber, it's only natural to want your own place and it is really good that you like where you are now. You are actually doing the sensible thing by staying there to save up, rather than throwing money away on rent. You certainly sound though as if you aim way too high for a first house, in the UK one starts off with a small place and moves up when the price of their first home increases in value. Wanting to start off with all that for two of you doesn't sound practical. I rented before I bought and it was a small terraced house which I really liked, but was running round moving to a larger 3 storey terraced house when 6 months pregnant. The value of that house increased so much that with a really sensible approach to the mortgage, ie as short as possible a term to avoid excessive interest, I was able to pay off that mortgage in full and with the profit on that house buy a house for cash in Greece. To do that though you need to be realistic about what you need rather than what your dream house is, and be very very focused in approach to the finance side of it. Don't put yourself in debt for a dream house but focus on a smaller house to start with which is likely to increase in value and get plenty of equity on it then trade up. You've started the habit of saving now so think of a small house which isn't going to break you if you run into a financial blip, but continue to save so you can pay the difference between that and the next one with cash. Hope you don't mind the financial advice there Amber.
1 person likes this
@SomeCowgirl (32273)
• United States
23 Nov 09
Thea, I don't mind the financial advice at all. However, my husband and I are working at the angle that neither of us particularly likes to move around a lot, and we're both terribly picky. Neither my husband nor I particularly understand what we're going into, but we've got the inlaws to help us understand. They think we should get our own car first, which is sensible and what we're going to do. Then after that our own place, and they'll help us pick out a house by questioning us "do you really need this?" and "In the future you can upgrade the home, etc..." We'd rather like to have one place instead of moving around. We're getting a great deal already by being promised that we'll have our new home on the in law's land, RENT FREE. We definitely don't want to go under because of a big purchase, so we'll take our time and save, as well as reasearch, ask and learn more about buying a doublewide home and all that goes along with it. I appreciate your response Thea, here in the USA I believe that usually people start off small, first an apartment then a nice little house, and then an upgrade once the wife becomes a mother...
@thea09 (18329)
• Greece
23 Nov 09
There was no choice in the UK, it used to be a case of get your foot on the property ladder or get left behind, as prices went up so fast it was easy for first time buyers to get priced out of the market. Hope you find what you want Amber.
@JenInTN (27565)
• United States
23 Nov 09
Noway you sound immature! There is nothin wrong with wanting your privacy with your husband and it will be great when you have your own placve to have that. It wiull be a blast decorating your own home and enjoying it. I think that there is nothing wrong with starting out a little smaller than you had initially planned. Everyone has to start somewhere and sometimes it not with exactly what we want but it can lead to that. Others are better with just waiting for what they want in the first place. I am excited for you and your husband and I wish you the best of luck.
1 person likes this
@SomeCowgirl (32273)
• United States
23 Nov 09
Right now we are just in the preliminary planning stages, so a lot could change when it comes to what we want in a house. Though I sort of doubt it, but even so I know there's no reason to worry. I like to plan things though as it makes me feel as if the accomplishment of it is just a grasp away... lol. So I'm the odd one out, people say wait and save, I want to go ahead and talk about saving! lol!