Stress in a relationship

@jugsjugs (13045)
November 29, 2009 6:09pm CST
There has been alot of things in my marriage that has caused problems,as soon as you have sorted one problem out there are always another problem that comes along.The children play up most nights as in one child will stop all the other children from going to sleep,so i am forever going up and down the stairs trying to get them to sleep so we do not get time to talk of a evening or a nightThen there are things we do not get time to discuss so that is more stress as well as being woken up by my son who never seems to need sleep.
1 person likes this
17 responses
@Thoroughrob (11750)
• United States
3 Dec 09
I think alot of relationships get stressful due to not having time for communication between the couple. Take time for yourselves, even if it is just hiring a sitter for a couple of hours here and there.
@dorannmwin (36698)
• United States
2 Dec 09
I feel like that as a relationship gets older, there are times that you go through periods that are lot tougher than other times in the relationship. My husband and I have been going through a period like that very recently. However, we are working our way through that and I think that when this difficult period of our relationship is over, we are going to be a lot stronger than we were before this period started. Overall, my mantra in life is that which doesn't kill us makes us stronger.
@celticeagle (118276)
• Boise, Idaho
1 Dec 09
You have your hands full honey. First off I would not keep running up and down stairs trying to get your kids to get to sleep. I would just tell them that they will not be able to do whatever it is important and they want to do if they get to bed. I would call a meeting on this. Dad and mums time will be this and you will do this. Plan it out. Find time to discuss these things if they are so important. Kids need to know that they are responsible for the out come. If they want certain things they have to do certain things. Check out the site www.loveandlogic.com. Did wonders for my kids. Makes sense too!
@cream97 (29169)
• United States
30 Nov 09
I know the feeling. My kids stay up at odd times of night too. When we are all staying at my in-laws house, my kids had regular sleeping schedules. But once they got into their new apartment, they was up all night long and in the mornings. When one is asleep, the other is awake. I do make sure that my son gets his rest for school at night. He does not have a bed yet in his room. So, when he gets tired, I will close the bedroom door so that he can get all of his rest. For me and my husband we will just take turns staying up with the kids, while once gets rest. But, we want our children to have a routine of sleeping at night. Believe it or not my kids will be up at 2 a.m. in the mornings... They are some active kids. Do you have a seperate room that you can put your kids in? That way they can all get sleep without disturbing the next one?? Hang on in there it will get better! You are talking to a mom that has kids up at the wee morning hours!
@Lakota12 (42684)
• United States
30 Nov 09
A well laid hand on the butt might stop all this stuff going on with kids and just tell them ya need time to talk and not bother you at that time yoiu have picked. my hubby and I always seemed to talk more in bed before going to sleep then a kiss godnight nad off to slumbr land!
• India
30 Nov 09
I and my wife, we both love each other.but most of the times I noticed that she get irritated by small things. these small things like why I did not ask her for dinner, why I dont ask that how is she. these small things create so much trouble in our life. I have decided that I will definitely give her atleast 1 hr in day or night. I will talk to her separately. this will definitely minimize our unknown gap.Actually lack of conversation is very much responsible for stress in any relationship.
• Philippines
30 Nov 09
stress oh stess! Just like now I'm so stressed.... you will never get away with it... I had such a bad mood today....
@rika999 (104)
• India
30 Nov 09
problem is a part of life... when you become unable to handle these problems they lead you towards stress .... go adhead and join stresss management classes otherwise you can join yoga to learn how to handle and manage problem and get out any stress...
@ongtina (1232)
• Singapore
30 Nov 09
Have you tried letting your children be more active in the day, not let them nap longer than half an hour, to wake them up from their nap in half an hour? And then after dinner, to let them sit and write or read, no more active activity, no computer or television. After an hour, give them a glass of hot milk and then tuck them to sleep. Do not leave them alone, pat them, hum a tune off the light and be with them quietly till they sleep. It won't take long if they did not sleep in the day and were active, plus the reading or writing before bedtime. However, you must also remember that you will also be more tired cos you too didn't get your time in the day. SO, you might be saying "I don't want to talk...." :) Try to be calm and take things more easy and positively, you will see things become happier, less stressful.
• India
30 Nov 09
see my dear friend this is wat LIFE is and try to solve your both problems together by talking your are saying you are not getting time here only you are making a mistake. "wat u do when a dish ur preparing gets sour the answer is add a bit of sugar" to level it so ur life is like a dish which has turned abit sour so add sugar means (love and care) to it. got it my friend. The problem of ur child is concerned you sift him in your room or the side room for few days so that you can pay attention to him closly
@happy6162 (3011)
• United States
30 Nov 09
Most marriage have problems and it seems like there is never anytime to talk about them. Yes children can be a handful but we do love them so just be patient with them and keep trying to talk with your husband about your problems.
• United States
30 Nov 09
I am sorry that you ate going through a bad time right now. Is there anything I can do for you? I know that stress can be hard on a marriage. My husband and I have had a lot of stress in our lives right now and it had been hard on us as well. The one thing that we have done that has helped us out is that the two of us plan a date night at least once a week. We usually go out Saturday night. Lately, since we have not had much money we go out to eat (usually McDonalds) then we go out grocery shopping. We forget what it is going on and concentrate on having fun. With you having kids is there any way possible that you could have a family fun night (Friday night or Saturday night). Maybe make a fun dinner like pizza or tacos. Then play a few board games. This may help eleviate the stress.
• Philippines
30 Nov 09
Just keep on praying to the good LORD that someday,somehow everything would be fine in your problematic married life. There is no such thing as a perfect marriage nor a perfect relationship. Love your kids and love your partner more than you love yourself and I believe everything would be just fine.
@weasel81 (2502)
• Australia
30 Nov 09
it's a fact in life get solve on problem and a new comes up. my son usually complains when he's put to bed but i don't listen, and just put in there` and leave him. i've always left him to put himself to sleep, so that he didn't become attached to us sitting with him and will hopefully adapt better later in life. but i also find men won't talk unless it suits them, then they avoid the conversation you want to have. i'm a bit sick of hearing about the same things, from my partner.
@Pplaya123 (126)
• United States
30 Nov 09
Your relationship sounds pretty stressful. I haven't had any kids yet thank the lord aha. It seems like the source of the stress comes through you kids being restless. Have you given them bedtimes? Maybe you should, and after bedtime, they are not aloud to use anything that keeps them awake such as television.
@spalladino (17925)
• United States
30 Nov 09
When my kids were growing up I used to go through the same routine and it drove me crazy. Another thing that drove me crazy was that my ex-husband never wanted to talk about anything that we had to talk about in the evening because he was tired...but there was no other time to talk about them. So, if something wasn't taken care of in the way he thought it should have been...I was the bad guy for not discussing it with him first. Can't imagine WHY he's my ex!
@happy2512 (1266)
• Philippines
30 Nov 09
Kids has their way of making us happy & making us mad but the only wonderful thing I am thankful of is having a kid for not of the married couple are not bless with having kids they maybe rich & can afford anything but they don't have kids as my mom say those who have kids are the riches people in the world for they did not experienced what we experience. It may be stressful but take it easy like me my son wake me up in the middle of the night when he has nightmare & hungry but after I will answer his needs he will go back to sleep. Just take it easy enjoy them while you can for soon they don't have time for us parents for they will prioritize their peers. We will just be vigilant when that time comes for their own good.