I am fed up of trying to be nice to a friend that has no respect for my feelings

@jugsjugs (13045)
November 30, 2009 6:20pm CST
well if you had a friend that used to text you at least once a week then they stopped for no reason and yet you did text them and they never bothered to text you would you make any more effort.If you left an inbox on facebook and they never sent you a message back would you bother keep trying.I have tried so hard as she has been a friend for years and it seems our friendship has drifted too far apart.I went through a hard time recently and it seemed like she just did not care,but then she would not have known.I think she has changed so now i have decided that i can not be bothered as just like her i have plenty of other friends.
7 people like this
36 responses
• United States
1 Dec 09
You are right. Why bother. As long as you made an attempt to keep in touch, then you have done your part. I know it is hard when someone you thought was a friend stops communicating with you, but please don't take so long to get over it. Like you said you have plenty of other friends who enjoy your company, so give them of your time. If the other friend does decide to come back and wants to communicate again, tell them how you feel about what they did and see if it can be resolved. If not, let them go.
1 person likes this
@Hatley (164447)
• Garden Grove, California
1 Dec 09
jugsjugs sometimes things happen to us and we are in shock or embarrassed to have our friends know or we just do not know how to handle what happened to us, and are a bit leery of telling anyone else until we can make things better. I know my childhood best friend wondered why I did not send her a Christmas letter last year but I was in total shock,my son had lost his job, we had been evicted from our apartment and were homeless, I was devastated and humiliated and did not want to tell those who cared for me as they could not help,it needed moneylots of money, and my friends were not rich. so I did not send a christmas letter to her. she got her daughter to find my son on the internet and through him to find me. my son explained all that had happened. now i can send her a letter this year and as I am here in Gold Crest I am at least not exactly homelesss. the whole p;oint of my story jugs is that maybe something similar happened to your friend and she is just so embarrassed and humiliated and does not know how to tell you. My other point is try once more and give her a chance as my friend gave me. I appreciated it from my friend, maybe she will appreciate it from you. good luck.
1 person likes this
@trisha27 (3498)
• United States
17 Jan 10
Wow that is hurtful and I have had a friend that has just done the same thing to me from the moment of the start of a new year. She had sent me a message and well, not just me saying happy new year and then I respond back and nothing. There have been times that I have texted her as well and still no responses. I have just given up and I think that in these times, yeah you have to give up. Like I was telling a friend of mine and my husband one day, sometimes just knowing who your true friends are are the ones that stick around and sometimes you have to lose some friends just to make room from new ones. I guess that just meant that they were a friend only for a short period of time. My friend too the only time that she came around when she was having trouble with her boyfriend. Now I think that the reason that she has stopped texting me and calling me is because she had just gotten recently back in touch with a friend that we used to be with that we were friends with since we were kids. But I don't think that should be a good reason to toss me to the side, when I've been there for her through the good times and the bad times and this person was no where around. On the other hand though, I have done this. But it was for good reason of not texting the friend or anything. There might be a good reason why this friend has not responded to any of your messages. Like some of my reasons where for, I didn't have internet connection and either my phone was broken or my cell phone was shut off. Then also, I may have been very busy for that week. Which that tends to happen. I think that maybe you should give it some time but stop sending messages and see what happens. There may be an explanation for why no response at all.
@chase717 (65)
• United States
17 Jan 10
That is a difficult situation. I know it hurts, but maybe you should just give her space. Maybe something is going on with her. If not, then she isn't being a good friend to you and you don't need someone you can't count on.
@dorannmwin (36698)
• United States
4 Dec 09
It is so sad when we lose our friends. There are so many different reasons that it happens though and sometimes, eventually you will come back together with that friend. Instead of thinking that you cannot be bothered to have that person as a friend any more, maybe you should instead think that the friendship is just taking a break. Don't dwell on it and see what happens in the future. It could just be that she too is going through a difficult time in her life.
@gabs8513 (48715)
• United Kingdom
3 Dec 09
Well I would not bother any more either I am sorry that this has happened to you but I guess she is not the Person any more she used to be so it is best to just leave it be you are doing the right thing
@sid556 (31003)
• United States
3 Dec 09
I wouldn't give up on the friendship....I just wouldn't stress over it. In this case, I'd try again in about a week and if still no response, I'd tell her that I miss the friendship and will always be here should she decide. There could be something going on with her where she can not text you. She may have very valid reasons for not getting back to you. I wouldn't write the friendship off.
• Philippines
3 Dec 09
I guess you have to stop communicating to her. Maybe she really changed now and so as you, you will change because of her. As you said you still have plenty of friends why not spend your time on them or spend your time taking care of yourself. Go shopping, pamper yourself. Get a hair cut, you have to feel good about yourself. Don't mind them, they don't even have the courage to tell you the reason of change why not waste your time on them. I know you are hurting I even experienced that. I just engage myself in doing fan fiction novel than thinking about them. There are so many things I have to do than deal with them.
• United States
2 Dec 09
I think that if I were in your position, I would really look at how much I value the friendship. If I was best friends with her and we were just really close, I would definitely keep trying for at least a little while longer. But if she really isn't replying to anything, then I'd say to just let it go for a while. Maybe she really doesn't want to talk right now. Try again later because you don't want to seem 'too much' to her. But yeah, if she really seems to take your friendship for granted and you really feel that you can do better without her, then stop contacting her. Don't bother trying to talk to someone who isn't very good to you as a friend.
@unique16 (1531)
• United States
1 Dec 09
Hello Jugsjugs, That is rude when she just stop for no reason and you tried again. That was very thoughtful and sweet of you try to restablish the connection. Yes, you have plenty of friends to take your mind of her. Hopefully somwhere donw the road you will get your answer why she stop text you or stop being friends with you all together. I hope you will hear from soon. Sincerely Unique16
@krackelz (24)
• Philippines
1 Dec 09
Friends are there to comfort us; they're the ones we lean on when we have difficulties in life and we don't feel comfortable talking it out to family members. Sometimes, we just have to accept the fact that all of us are human beings and get emotional for no apparent reason. Your friend probably has a reason for the silent treatment he/she is giving you at the moment. I understand your pain but the only best thing you can do about it is to think of happy moments you've encountered in your life. That way, you'll be able to ignore the ill thoughts you have for your friend and attract the positive vibes around you.
@Wizzywig (7859)
1 Dec 09
I agree, it can be very frustrating to have so-called friends who never get back to you and you are the one making all the effort. Better to have friends where the friendship is a 2-way process.
@snowy22315 (56302)
• United States
1 Dec 09
There are alot of people like that unfortunately, that seem to want you there when they have something they want to say, but don't ever seem to reciprocate the favor. I have a facebook friend who has hurt my feelings like that a couple of differnt times, but since I don't have alot of friends I still continue to put up with it. It is probably not the right thing, but I don't think he has done it intentionally.
@syankee525 (6294)
• United States
1 Dec 09
the texting part i wouldnt like worry to much about it, but the other thing yeah i would be upset too, but not like dread on it. my best freind and i seem to drift apart but i know he's been working alot and he belong to this group now for off roading. but i would just ask them straight up if things between you two are cool
@syankee525 (6294)
• United States
1 Dec 09
with the texting part i would be like oh well, no biggie. but if you went through a hard time in your life then yes it would have been nice. i would just ask they straight up if everything is good. yeah my best friend and i used to talk all the time but now its far and in between with talking or texting.
@doormouse (4619)
1 Dec 09
it sounds like the friendship has fizzled out,sometimes these things happen,but i found that normally happens if you haven't seen each other for for months,or if you move away,if your friend can't be bothered then stick with your other friends,you don't need people like that in your life
@elitess (5072)
• Ipswich, England
1 Dec 09
Hi there Jugs. I know the feeling of this situation as i have been through it many times. People form friendships, talk about everything or almost everything and then something happens and they drift apart... perhaps it's fate, or perhaps they were not meant to be friends forever, who knows, but that's life, and we have to get used to it. You could try and contact her more directly if you can, or just ask her straight out if she still wants to be friends and if she doesn't answer... well the silence is an answer after all, right ? Again, I'm sorry for you but like a pepsi comercial said once: "Don't worry, there is no sugar". Take care !
@williamjisir (22903)
• China
1 Dec 09
Hello jj. I hope that you will not be so disappointed with this friend of yours. Maybe she is just busy with her work and life that she has not got enough time to read those emails of yours to her. Friends are friends. They will care about what we feel if we talk about it to them. I wish you good luck with your life, work and your friends. Be happy, my dear friend.
@sunnycool (12736)
• India
1 Dec 09
hi jugs even i have the same situation but the roles are reversed which means my friend has been texting me and I never replied to his messages but it doesn't mean that i dont care for him rather a true friend would try to understand the reason for not replying you back. I never replied to him but i would meet him personally every two weeks or in chat but he never complained me "that i has lost interest in him or i dont take him to be my friend anymore". Do not take your friend wrong and try to make a call or meet her personally so you would know the reason behind it. gud day.
@jlamela (4909)
• Philippines
1 Dec 09
If that is the kind of attitude your friend has then leave him or her alone because it just that means he or she has no concerns for you at all. If I have a friend like that I would never make an effort to bridge the communication and I will just look on another directions.