No matter how hard i try,no matter what i do

@jugsjugs (13046)
December 1, 2009 6:38pm CST
things seem to feel better and then things get a whole lot worse.The children are all playing up at bed time as in all 4 of my boys so i do not get time to relax.They all seem to not want to help in the house as in they can not and will not keep their room tidy or even pick their rubbish up,no matter how hard i try to keep up with them they do things even more.
3 people like this
18 responses
@rosepedal64 (4192)
• United States
2 Dec 09
jugs I think that you need to make a game out of it or give them a small reward for helping around the house. Don't let them get to the point that they think ..oh well mom will get it... I know that was my big mistake with my two boys when they was growing up. It took me years to get them to help around the house. Try to get them to help so that you can get some quite time.. Keep smiling.
@GardenGerty (90189)
• Marion, Kansas
2 Dec 09
Maybe give them one specific thing to do at a time to make clean up a lot less intimidating or overwhelming to them.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
2 Dec 09
I think you should change your strategy. Maybe you could try giving them incentive everytime they do good or praise them. Kids love appreciation... They love extra attention... You must exercise also the "do this and get what you like" rule... When they are asking for something, don't give them unless they behave and do their chores...
@jugsjugs (13046)
19 Dec 09
I do always praise the children for a;ll the good things that they do as vwell as try to help them do things rather than making them do say their rooms on their own as i do find sometimes that works as well.I have a bonus scheme here where as they get things for doing their chores and if they do not do their chores then they do not get anything they want.
• Philippines
19 Dec 09
Hi there! Don't be upset, children do come to that stage. They are naughty and playful. I am sure they will absorb all the things you are telling them soon... Just give them time and don't get tired of repeating the things you what them to do and learn. Have a nice day always. Have more patience.
• Pamplona, Spain
2 Dec 09
Hi jugs, I have boys in my House and they hardly have ever helped me out either. So in the end I just decided to take it as it comes. As for their Rooms one is very untidy to say the least but even so I still take it as easy as I can and do things when I can. Think a little about yourself first before them you will need that strength to fall back on in later years.
@jugsjugs (13046)
19 Dec 09
I have been told from lots of people that i should just go in their bedrooms when i have to and then just walk out and shut the door as that way i do not go back in there or have to see it to put it right.They said if they want to play amongst it to let them if that is the way they want it.The more i put their room right the more they will not do it themselves.
• Pamplona, Spain
19 Dec 09
Hiya jugsjugs, Know what you mean but if you are the only one that cleans the Rooms then it is much more work for you in the long run. I have tried all the tricks in the trade and it got to a point well it got so untidy that he even had the cheek to complain you never clean this Room. This went on for ages of course I always made and changed the Bed and cleaned the Floor but left all the other things in piles around it. It´s taken me ages to get him to be cleaner and tidier it´s just his way but you can teach them and all the going on in the World will not change them. I have to go into that Room every Day and tidy up as much as I can and clean as much as I can as the only one who will clean it is me. I do have a few tricks like refuse to reiron Clothes that he leaves all wrinkled and screwed up and wash things that he has left lying around. Also refuse to do Meals when they feel like it otherwise you will never get out of that Kitchen. Take a more nonchalant attitude and over time they will learn to see for themselves that your values are the only ones that are worth it. It is really hard but I have had to learn the hard way but not anymore. They have learned to appreciate things more and the Battles have ceased not altogether but it´s getting there.
@stephcjh (32385)
• United States
18 Dec 09
I know that feeling. I never have time to relax either. I am always trying to keep things done up around the house and I also work seven days a week too. I do it and keep it done but it is wearing me out.
@jugsjugs (13046)
19 Dec 09
I have a problem with trying to keep up with everything as well as the garden and then because i am here all day as i can not go to work then i am trying to make a bit of money on here as well as this is the only thing that i can do.
@doormouse (4619)
2 Dec 09
try not to let it get you down,i know it's easier said than done,but if you can try to have a don't give a s*** attitude and just get on with things maybe you may find life a bit easier,that's what i do
@jugsjugs (13046)
19 Dec 09
I have tried that,but then i get to the stage where as when the children do not sleep as well as being stressed out with other things that are going on,it gets to the stage that i can not sleep and then i am too tired to keep up trying with the house.I have now got into abit more of a routine,but still having a problem with getting to sleep.
@Devilova (5396)
• Indonesia
2 Dec 09
Ha..Ha..Ha..You have to realize that they are still a kid.I believe You do the same thing when You are at they age, don't You?? So now You can taste or feel how hard to be a parent or baby sitter.
@jugsjugs (13046)
19 Dec 09
I am on about children aged from 13 years old right down to 6 years old.At 9 years old i was asked as well as i done my bedroom as in make my bed,put dirty linen in the basket,tidy my room up and that is what i had todo before i did anything else.
@syankee525 (6298)
• United States
2 Dec 09
my thing is to get them to do things and if they refuse, depend how old they are you start taking things away from them, and they have to help by keeping the room clean. i used to love taking the controler away for vedios games.
@jugsjugs (13046)
19 Dec 09
I have taken their things away from them as well as not let them outside to play with their friends as i found sometimes this would work,other times it did not work by not letting them have something they want.I used to take the fuse out of their tv as then they can not watch it or play games by using it as well as i did not even have to take it out of their rooms.
@hvedra (1623)
2 Dec 09
Tackle the kids one at a time, don't let them back each other up or gang up on you! Remove any privilidges (and I'm of the opinion that anything other than the VERY basics is a privilidge) and make it plain that regaining of them is dependent on their behaviour and helping by doing chores. Be hard - I know it is difficult when they are screaming how much they hate you and you're eeeeeviiiiiilllll but just ride the storm and say "this is how it is". At the same time also explain calmly how you feel and how you need to work together as a family so it is fair on everyone. Explain that because you are having to run around after them doing their chores, it means you can do other things with them that would be a lot more fun. Good luck!
• United States
2 Dec 09
I can relate to your problems. I have had 6 children and they do tend to push thier limits every no and again. I do feel stressed out when i dont get time for myself. What worked with my kids about bed time was is the didnt go to bed like they was told the next night they lost free time..i set a bed time like 9pm and if they didnt go willingly then the next night it got changed to 850pm and they got tired of losing thier free time to play games and tv. I agree with some of the other myLot comments here.... explain to your husband you are totally stressed out see if he could take over just for an hour or two one night every week. Durning your break do something you enjoy for your self....lock your self in the bathroom with nice warm bath and bath salts....go for walk....go window shopping at the mall....meet with a friend for coffee. This break time dont need to turn into an expensive event just alittle time for mom to have some mommytime out and unwind. Hope you can find the perfect stress reliever. Little hint kids love to feed off the stress of their parents , i learned that one with 24 years of experience LOL
@Lakota12 (42794)
• United States
2 Dec 09
Like I dont told you a swat on the butt might help with that!
• China
2 Dec 09
YOU need to let them know how hard you do this work.
@sunnycool (12737)
• India
2 Dec 09
A stitch in Time Saves Nine so try to explain your boys that they are old enough to keep their rooms clean else you have to keep on doing this for years. Remember one thing "The one who loves in a Good way will punish well". I hope you love your kids and you are a good mother so go ahead and try to explain them.gud day.
• China
2 Dec 09
so people say mother is the greatest person in the world! you should be more strict to your naughty children.
@cream97 (29175)
• United States
2 Dec 09
Can your husband help you out with the household chores and with the kids too? You may need to sit everyone down and find a solution for your problem. You need to be firm and strict so that no one runs over you. Stay on them and let them know that they have to obey you. Make rules and stick with it. My kids can be very bad when they want to be too. They love making a lot of noise and fighting each other. When they get out of hand, I will take all of their toys from them. I will make them sit in a room with nothing in it. I will let them get bored so that they will want to behave. It is very obvious that you need a break. We, as mothers all do from time to time. Stand firm at what you request. And stick to what you mean. Let others see that you are the boss.
@allknowing (55125)
• India
2 Dec 09
I would hide something precious to them in that mess and they will have to put law and order in order to get it. Something like a treasure hunt? Try it. That may help.
@kellyjeanne (1578)
• United States
2 Dec 09
Have you talked with your husband about this? Maybe he could help out with the kids. After all, they're his also. This will free up some of your time to take a much needed bath or enable you to read a good book. We all needed time to wind down - some recreation time. Tell your husband that you will be no good to anybody if you don't have some time to yourself to refresh your mind and body. Purrs, Catwoman=^..^= & Mija
@ronnyb (6125)
• Jamaica
2 Dec 09
I think that happens to many persons and it just a matter of the law of averages and many things will go right and many will go wrong but usually thing will average out .Dont depair though as you will never have a string of only bad experiences.There will b esome good and some bad.So in your case the boys might not clean their room but then they may bring home good report cards so that somewhat negates the fact that they dont clean their room
@GardenGerty (90189)
• Marion, Kansas
2 Dec 09
That seems to be how life works, especially at this pre holiday time of the year. They are all bundles of excitement, and hard to get a hold on.