shall i severe the friendly relations?

@tigeraunt (6331)
Philippines
December 6, 2009 1:18am CST
i know this friend since college days hence referred her to the company where i am working. that was 5 years ago. she has two small kids, one 7 years old and another one 1 year old. her live-in partner has no job. she just had experienced the floods and have asked the office for cash advance and have borrowed from several other persons for the purpose of repairing her house. now she is suspended from work for alleged theft and misappropriation of construction materials. if you were me would you show compassion and leave the matter, or would you initiate her termination because she has embarrased you for breach of trust? ann
9 responses
@allknowing (69429)
• India
6 Dec 09
You say you have known this friend since childhood and therefore the fact that you stayed as friends shows that she had the qualities that you desired a friend to have. Now she is going thru hard times and this led her to do what you call breach of trust. Where is breach of trust here? She is desperate and when one is desperate they do unimagineable things. I would suggest that you try and help her out in whatever way you can You could initiate a drive to get her out of her present condition such as collecting funds from well wishers, etc.
1 person likes this
@tigeraunt (6331)
• Philippines
6 Dec 09
dear allknowing, there is really a good thing with discussion. this friend of mine talked to me and said she is innocent. she said she is being framed. i told her to face this case and i hope she can disprove the allegations. told her i will pray for her and i will stay her friend. ann
@allknowing (69429)
• India
6 Dec 09
So nice of you to be with her and help her out. Congrats!
• India
17 Mar 10
Hi Ann you are her close friend, you are right in your attitude in recommending the job, well poverty and greed can change a person totally, one forgets what is good what is bad , you should take a linient view of this, well was she reinstated? Bhuwan
1 person likes this
@tigeraunt (6331)
• Philippines
18 Mar 10
dear professor, my friend has not been taking my calls anymore. but i talk with her sister and ask about her once in a while. she and her family seems to have had a gap as of the moment so i think she needs more of a friend right now. i know she is not angry but feels shame because of what she has done. the last message i sent to her - if you need a friend, i am just around and you know where to find me. she was no longer able to work again in the company but i heard she is working part time as clerk of her aunt who is an accountant. ann
@warvial (1154)
• Singapore
6 Dec 09
It's very subjective. You have known her for so long so was she a person of such a bad reputation since years ago?
1 person likes this
@tigeraunt (6331)
• Philippines
12 Dec 09
hello, ive known her way back my college days. i knew of her previous work and employers and she didnt find any problem with her work. its just so sad that things like this is happening. but i told her that i will be her friend. i will visit her again when i get time. hopefully on christmas day. ann
@sunnycool (12736)
• India
6 Dec 09
if she hasn't involved in that theft you should help her(as she is your friend for many years so you must have an idea about her character) for sure coz its you who have refered her to your office so its your responsibility to take care of her and help her to get out of this situation standing by her coz it might have some impact on you as well coz you are the one who refered so try to help her.gud day.
@tigeraunt (6331)
• Philippines
12 Dec 09
hi, she was terminated, without much funfare after giving her the chance to prove herself. but we talked after that. i said our friendship is still there and she can count on me to help her start again. thank u for your advise. ann
6 Dec 09
any one who has self-fish reasons will do everything in their power to bring her down? for what reason it is and it was? too bad for some one who has kids. it's hard to deal with a lot of people now that most like every one is a LOOSE CANNON.
1 person likes this
@tigeraunt (6331)
• Philippines
6 Dec 09
dear rebelotter, the only person trying to pin her down now is the scrap buyer. what is his reason, that i still do not know. ann
@yugasini (12839)
• Anantapur, India
6 Dec 09
hi ann, every body must face problems in life,but that person must be strong in good faith,she/he does not loose faith with the friend,due to your friend you have some to face regrets from your company,you can help her if she asked you regarding money for repair of her house,findout she is surely spent that money for house purpose only,or she purchase luxury things,have a nice day
1 person likes this
@tigeraunt (6331)
• Philippines
6 Dec 09
dear yugasini, when this friend told me that she doesnt know what to do and that she is very desperate, my heart went jelly and i know she needed a friend. after a few more talks, she said she is being framed. this coming monday, december 7, she will face an inquiry. i hope she disproved the allegations against her person. told her i am still a friend. ann
@mipen2006 (5528)
• Australia
6 Dec 09
Hi Ann, From what you say, it has not yet been proved that she was taking from the company, so we only have one side of the story. I wouldn't rush into this, but if she is guilty, it would be very difficult for you, and also hard for you to show her any compassion. Good luck. Mike.
@tigeraunt (6331)
• Philippines
12 Dec 09
hi mike, her side was heard but she wasnt able to parry the accusation. she got terminated for lack of trust. so sad. ann
1 person likes this
@mipen2006 (5528)
• Australia
12 Dec 09
I'm sorry. It's a sad way to lose a friend. Mike.
• United States
6 Dec 09
If you are her boss then you have to act as her boss when it comes to the work situation. If you are not her boss than I would distance myself to avoid suspicions onto you. I know when I had a friend who was my BFF up until such things happened at my work. She got me the job and a few months later she wrote a bad check to work and did not pay it back, played dumb that someone else was supposed to put the money in her account ect. Well turns out she didn't have a drivers lic and a few other things came out that put her in a very bad light. Then my boss had questioned me since I was new on the job about what I knew. I didn't know anything about her actions and asked to stay out of it. It's like the person I grew up with was nothing but lies. Now days I don't associate with her other than exchanging holiday cards once a year.
@tigeraunt (6331)
• Philippines
12 Dec 09
hi, am very glad that she was not under the department i am in or else i will become her direct superior. she was given a chance to be heard but wasnt able to prove her innocence. she was terminated due to loss of trust. i have talked with her after that, i said i am still a friend.
• Malaysia
6 Dec 09
Hi, Ann! She must be someone who you can count on and have known for many years, that's why you have referred her to work with your company before. So, I think you should not leave the matter if you care about her as a friend who helps a friend when in trouble. It doesn't mean that you support her action, but if it makes you feel better, investigate and listen to what she has to say about this, and then decide from there.
@tigeraunt (6331)
• Philippines
12 Dec 09
hi, she was terminated, the boss saying that he has lost his trust and without much funfare after giving her the chance to prove herself. i said our friendship is still there and she can count on me to help her start again.