Gifts

United States
December 7, 2009 4:30pm CST
I have a good friend and she isn't making a lot of money at the moment and I don't have a job. So, we decded no gifts to exchange to each other for Christmas. Maybe a card or a call we agreed about. Then, she tells me yesterday night she got tickets to see a play and if I wanted to go, I said what one. She told me and I said no thanks. She said why, I said I don't really want to say that one, but thanks for asking me. She goes, well, that was supposed to be your Christmas gift. I reminded her we said no gifts and I have no money. She said I'm just being on ungrateful. Am I being ungrateful? Have you gotten a gift you didn't want, but the gift giver did? Is it ungrateful to not take it?
9 responses
@suzzy3 (8400)
11 Dec 09
What a shame the point is if you decide on no gifts then one turns up with gift it is really emabarrasing to the other one.and then places that person in the position where they have to find the money to buy them a present.Maybe she just wants someone to go with.Lets face it maybe it will be you who gets some spare cash next time then you can treat your friend how about that.
@cher913 (25895)
• Canada
8 Dec 09
well it is not faari to you because she was changing the rules midpoint so i wouldnt feel guilty at all, so i dont think you are being ungrateful at all.
• Philippines
8 Dec 09
I think it is not ungrateful to refuse to receive gifts, but it should be in a nice matter. It is better to explain also to the giver the reason why you don't want to accept the said gifts. I think the giver will understand whatever the reason is as long as it is said nicely. Have A great day.
@sender621 (14956)
• United States
8 Dec 09
Gifts should be given from the heart. Gifts shouldn't be a sign of our financial situation. We often lose sight of this. Economic times are trying for everyone at some point. Show wisdom and compassion when choosing gifts you want to exchange with others.
• India
8 Dec 09
Well no! and I think your friend is behaving a little odd…I mean she never told you that it was a Christmas gift! And then I think she was more intent on taking you as a company for her to the play so that she didn’t have to go alone! Also she asked you if you wanted to go…so the choice to refuse was definitely there…its not like she mailed you the ticket in an envelope or just handed it to you gift-wrapped! If that would have been the case and if you had refused, then I do think that would have been rude of you. I never refuse a gift even if I have no use for it…after all the person who’s gifting has thought of me and that counts a lot.
• Philippines
8 Dec 09
Your not being ungrateful for not taking it. Maybe she just wanted to surprise you, that's why she agreed that no gifts would be exchanged between you and then later asked you to take the tickets. If it was me, I'd be surprised and would take it. Maybe she said that your ungrateful because she felt offended, I mean, who wouldn't be, if you reject her gift even if you meant no offense. I often got gifts I didn't want but I learn to appreciate it later. Maybe you should too. It's just my opinion.
@joye68 (151)
• United States
7 Dec 09
Sometimes you're just danged if you do or danged if you don't. I doubt this was an actual gift. You both agreed not to exchange. It could have been that she got tix on spur of the moment and thought you might like to go. Perhaps, at the last minute, even believing that you could be guilted into it by saying it was your gift so that she could get you to go with her. Maybe she's sorry she said it was your gift... perhaps it just... jumped out of her mouth before she could control her tongue. Ask her what the truth to the matter is... maybe she'll tell you maybe she won't, but at least the discussion will be open. If you go, maybe you'll have a good time just spending some time out with your friend. Goodness knows we all end up doing stuff like that anyway, if only for no other reason than because we love them.
@marty3888 (2359)
• United States
7 Dec 09
I don't think so. In fact, it sort of sounds like maybe she didn't like the decision not to exchange gifts, or maybe she even had someone else to go with and that person couldn't make it, so now she's coming to you, and when you couldn't go, she came up with that excuse. My girlfriend's mother can't buy anything either this year and she's sticking to it. Anyway, she sounds a little immature. I have a feeling, if you did go, she would then expect you to buy her a gift even though you can't afford it. I'm suren she has a job, doesn't she.
@cream97 (29175)
• United States
7 Dec 09
Hi, smartie. Well if she offered to give you this gift, try to at least take it. Just explain to her why you are not being ungrateful. Tell her that you both agreed to no gifts. Maybe she just changed her mind. Kindly tell her that you do appreciate the fact that even gave you a gift. Try to say it in a nice way so that she will be calm. I have gotten many gifts that I did not want, I would just accept it and thank the other person. But you are not turning the gift down, you are only turning it down because you both agreed to not exchange gifts for each other. You need to just clarify that to her in the simplest way there is possible.