shoud i give all my money to her?

China
December 8, 2009 2:19am CST
hi my fiends. i came cross a problem.in case you are a young man of 25,you live in a big city and the salary is not very high and you have got a girlfriend with you.and she has a elder sister.after working for 3years you made $50,000and you want to buy a house to get married with your lover.now your girlfriends sister also need buy a house and she need another $50,000.then your girlfriend want you to give all your money to her sister,but you only want to give $20,000or$30,ooo.i think if i was the young man i would choose the latter.which one do you choose?
1 person likes this
6 responses
@Orea15 (281)
• United States
9 Dec 09
It is outrageous that they even ask this of you. Don't even consider it. If you lose your girlfirend over this, you are better off in my opinion, because in that case she is using you and doesn't love you. You worked hard for this money. Actually this whole setup stinks. I am very suspicious. What kind of person asks her sister's BF for that kind of money? And not even as a loan! Let her earn her money herself or get it from relatives.
• China
11 Dec 09
hi orea15.i am sorry maybe i didnt describe the situation clearly.here they just want to borrow all the money.but i just want lend part of them.what will you do in this situation.would you like to borrow?
@Orea15 (281)
• United States
11 Dec 09
Ah, now i understand. No, I don't believe in lending money. I learned the hard way. I trusted someone and never got the money back. They were not who they appeared to be. As Shakespeare so wisely said, "Neither a borrower nor a lender be. For loan oft loses both itself and friend..." I lost my money, I lost the person I thought was a friend with integrity, I lost my naivete. If you do decide to loan some money, get a legal contract signed. Don't do it with a handshake or nice words. They aren't binding. And consider that if this causes a delay in purchasing your own place, it is costing you the equity you would have built up and any increase in price and/or value that occurs in the meantime. By the way, congratulations on saving so much at such a young age. You should be proud of yourself. We haven't met, but I am proud of you!
• Malaysia
11 Dec 09
I agree with Orea. Get a black and white about the loan so that if the other party is trying to cheat or something, they can't get away with it.
@laglen (19779)
• United States
11 Dec 09
I would say that if her sister wants to buy a house and is short, she should earn more money and wait until she can afford it.
@Orea15 (281)
• United States
11 Dec 09
I agree completely. People who put down their own money are much more likely to make the payments and safeguard it by being responsible. And I still don't get why she should benefit from someone else's hard work and wisdom while they put their plans and dreams on the back burner. This may be a cultural difference. I don't know.
• China
13 Dec 09
hi laglen!here her sister was in trouble,and she need the money at once.and now inmage this, her sister was in hospital,and she need 50,000 immediately for saving her life.in this situation i think i will lend allmy money.what is your opinion?
@Orea15 (281)
• United States
13 Dec 09
Ah, that is a different matter entirely. One is about who gets to buy a house with his money, the other is about possibly saving a life. But once again, the sister is not a relative really, until you marry. What about her other, true relatives? Can they help? They are more obligated than her sister's boyfriend is. And to me it also depends on how your relationship is with this person and whether she is good and kind and trustworthy or overbearing, selfish, unpleasant. I am much more inclined to help someone whom I like. I guess that's just human nature.
• Malaysia
8 Dec 09
Hi, xiaozuo! Welcome to myLot! First of all, is there any chance that she knows from your girlfriend you have 50k in your savings? Well, obviously I am a woman, but if I were you, I would never lend her a cent. You know why? Because the money you have been saving for is for your own future and unless she's not in trouble, she doesn't need the money more than you do. If she wants to buy a house, that can wait. Why would you pay for her when you also need the money to buy a house?? It's like they are taking advantage of you.
• China
11 Dec 09
hi corrycrystal!image this,here her sister was in trouble,her sisters husband loaned 50,000 with high rate without telling her siter,and now they need to pay off the debt as soon as possible.while in this situation,would you borrow all your money to her? waiting for your response,thx.
• Malaysia
11 Dec 09
Hi, xiaozuo! I may only loan her 5k, but not the entire amount because my savings are for my future undertakings and not to pay his husband's debt. If you give all the money to them, your effort will be wasted and gone just like that and who knows you will need the money for emergency or something urgent in future, do you think you can get back the money from them easily and in just a short while? I know your intention is to help them, but just imagine you if you are in need of cash with the same amount, and you know they have the money, do you think they will lend you the money? If you think they will do the same for you, you know what to do. Good luck!
• China
13 Dec 09
yeah i konw what to do now.thx for your response.and i am grateful that you can give me the suggestion.thx
• Philippines
8 Dec 09
Hi. Better safe than sorry. Do not give everything. Make sure to save a big chunk of the money for your own future.
• Philippines
8 Dec 09
Why would you give the money you earn for 3 years! It's your money and not even 50% by chance you will gave her, but you can offer her to stay with you, but by division of a room for privacy. Thank You.
• China
11 Dec 09
i just want to found a family with my girlfriend.when her sister is in trouble,maybe i should do her a favor.and i agree with you my own future is the first task.
@allen0187 (34313)
• Philippines
8 Dec 09
hi xiaozuo! welcome to mylot! i know you will enjoy your stay here. let me tell you something, i would not give the elder sister even a $1 to save her life so why should i give her the $50,000 that i worked hard for. a young man has better uses for $50,000 than giving it to the elder sister of his girlfriend. just my thoughts.
• China
11 Dec 09
hi allen0817 i am a newer here and i really like to discuss with you here.i can get many suggestion here and thx for your response. for me love and even marriage is not the combination of two people but two familise,as least it is the situation here in china.we should try our best to here the others family,cuz we became a big family.but just as yousay a young man may has better use of the money,i should make my girlfriend and me be happy firstly.right?
@chriszh22 (433)
• China
8 Dec 09
The latter of course, I have no reason to lend all my savings to her sister, even my girlfriend won't give all our savings to her relatives. You have your own plans, which happniess is more important, you two's or her sister's?
• China
11 Dec 09
i think the meaning of family is that we could help each other when some of them were in trouble.i can accept the latter choice,but i will reject the former one,just as you say ,we twos happiness is more important