aint this some crap? lol.

December 9, 2009 6:24pm CST
Okay well I am in a bit of a pickle. Well not really. I pretty much know what I am gonna end up doing just need to know if this is right. Well I am currently living with my bf and I still am best friends with my ex and he still keeps in touch with his exs. We both had an understandin of that. As long as they didnt call all the time or too much. Well my ex and I talked once every two months. Well I found out that he was callin his ex fiance all the damn time and one of his other ex's that tried to kill him. Now we have a pretty big gap in age. He's 34 and I am 21. we both share oct b-days. But he is actin more like my father and not like he used to act...like a boyfriend. i have guys lined up ready to be with me but I am stayin here until I can save my money for my own car and place. He left his job and I guess is going throuhg his lil messed up stage of depression which is no excuse. His money is gettin low and he thinks that I am going with him up north...when really I have signed up for college and I start in Jan. SO why would I leave something and go to nothing again? I wouldnt! Plus my ex came by my job when we seperated at one time and we started talkin about gettin back together. We are still in love and have eyes for no one else but each other. The only reason I keep this sucker is bc it keeps the peace most of the time. He has never laid a hand on me and I'll kill him b4 that happens. He just is startin to verbally abuse me and it doesnt make me doubt myself, it brings the angry person out in me and I am super nice to everyone. But am I wrong for playin it safe until like one more month and then I'm out of the lease?
4 responses
@jbrooks0127 (2329)
• United States
10 Dec 09
It would seem to me you have not thought this through very well. Not about leaving him, that you should do as it is clear you don't care for him at all. As part of what you say you mention that you have them lined up waiting to be with you but turn right around and say that you and your ex have fallen back in love with each other and only have eyes for each other. Can you recall why he is your ex? Why now would that all be forgotten? There is a big age gap between you and this boyfriend. This is not to be discounted. He was 13 years old when you were born. So there is no doubt that you need to move on their. This will no doubt throw him into even a deeper depression unless he gets a job back but that is not your problem. What you need to take a very long look at is do you really want to go back where you once were? Your ex is an ex for a reason. Never forget that, especially if you are the one that broke it off. Never run to a bad thing because of a current bad thing. Take your time before you commit to that or you may very well be sorry.
10 Dec 09
Okay wow that response was confusing. lol. This is what I was trying to say. My current boyfriend doesnt appreciate me for who I am. The fact that we have 13 yrs between us is starting to show. And I told him basically that I have guys lined up to be with me and you are being a meanie. (not the exact words...lol) And my ex never treated me wrong. As a matter of fact he was perfect. The only reason we had a "mutual break-up" is bc he was going to UGA Which is 5 to 6 hrs away and he only comes home like 4 times out of the year. We are still best friends (so we say) But when we get together its like we never broke up. We dated for 5 yrs and we grew up together being that our families grew up together. Sorry I didnt make that clear. It was late for me when I wrote the discussion. lol. Thank you for your response.
1 person likes this
• United States
1 Mar 10
Well....talk about being late. LOL Three months now and I am finally getting back to this. Sorry for being so late. You may never see this but I had to respond. I had no intention of being a mean. I really didn't. I was confused..and you have now made it clear. I do understand. There are times when circumstance get in the way of romance but that does not kill the feeling. Sounds like that is the case here. Strangely, it is very much a fact that the less we see of someone we care about the stronger the feeling is. I have no doubt that is the case here. I am sorry I did not read between the lines and be a little more compassionate like I truly try to be. I do hope all works out with you and that you will have a happy life no matter where it leads.
2 Mar 10
you will be surprised! lol. I do get on here from time to time and it looks ;ike I got on here in time. lol. But yeah I reread the post and i can see how some of it was not clear. I was so upset when I wrote it and I was actually crying as I type. But we are no longer together and he ahs moved to another state. We have talked about a lot of things and of course he wants to give it another round but I dont. I am a stronger person and cant take another month of lying from him. Thanks for your response!
1 person likes this
• United States
10 Dec 09
It's quite obvious your care for your current 'bf' isn't enough to warrant a real relationship with him any longer. The fact that you are using him, and that's what you're doing...USING him as a safe harbor until a better ship comes in, is unsettling to say the least. You're aware of the term 'golddiggers' right? I'm not saying you were with this guy because he had money, but you certainly ain't thinking about sticking by him when he doesn't. It's also clearly apparent that you're lacking some communication skills (an essential part of any successful relationship) with your mates. And purposely withholding pertinent information from your partner, or misleading them to believe something that clearly isn't, is...well, it's not just wrong, it's borderline evel. I hope you take greater care in future relationships, and treat your mate as you wish to be treated, which I'd be hard pressed to believe is anything remotely like how you're handling your current situation.
10 Dec 09
Wow have you heard of the term rude?! First of all I have my own money and I never make him pay for anything. That much needs to be known. I hate golddigging females and I'm definitely not one of them. The communication isnt on me sweetie bc when I try to talk to him like a civilized person, he just walks away or turns the tv up. I am a very passive person. And this "money situation" is his personal concern baby not mine. I have loved the brokest of broke men before. I was with someone who had nothing and it didnt bother me at all. So yes I know what essential parts of a relationship are. Communication, trust, and honesty. So you dont have to preach that much to me honey. He's the one withholding information. I come in and I clean and cook and take a nice bath and then thats when the bs starts about something crazy from him. So am I still wrong??? Oh yeah its spelled E-V-I-L. Thanks for your response.
@Capsicum (1444)
• United States
17 Dec 09
Did you read the post???? This man is abusive ,everything that was has changed as she states. No need to get so critical and criticize, until you have been in her shoes! The post gave me no impression of her being a gold digger what so ever.Sounds to me with your harsh response that you may have been burnt bad at some point. Because I just can't imagine someone being so passionate about saying nasty things without knowing the whole situation.
@Capsicum (1444)
• United States
10 Dec 09
You seem to have a good head on your shoulders ! Get out now and enjoy your life you are two young to have to deal with this crap, of daddy.If you wanted a dad you could go back home.Who knows it could get nasty as,I am sure it will displease him that you are leaving.Get out while you can and carry on with your plans and love reuniting. Good Luck you only have one life !
• Philippines
10 Dec 09
hey caramel.. if you were in love with your ex then whyd you both separate? and why did you hang out with that crappy guy that you might wanna call your dad.. lol.. if you really loved each other (you and your ex).. you shouldnt have parted.. so i suggest you just play it safe wait for the next time your "dad" abuses you so that you'll have a reason to tell him "hey i dont want this anymore it aint gonna work .. im out" something like that.. best of luck.. i hope you can get away from him.. lol
10 Dec 09
OMG! lol....you're awesome! lol. I have actually thought of doing something like that. lol. But the truth be told is that my ex and I were bound to split bc he goes to UGA which is 5 to 6 hrs away from me and only comes home 4 time out of the year. But when we get together its always like we're still dating or something! lol. I mean he just came home for Thanksgiving and surprised me at work! I ran from behind the counter and jumped in his arms. My co-worker and my manager (they are like my older brother and sister) know how I feel about the guy I am dating. The crazy thing is this....we have only done it 3 times and have been together for almost a year now! lol. So I figured he may be cheating or something.