when your trusted friend broke your heart!
December 11, 2009 12:55pm CST
I have a friend for more than a year, we shared so many things - we travel together, shared happy and sad moments in our lives. Until one day, she said this to me via email "With the three mentioned points, I am therefor not comfortable going out with you. Your option if you want to answer this email or not, if you wish to have this prolonged. I'm open to hear your side, deny this or not then its LL on me. Let me buried with my wrong thinking against from that I observed ". This happens day after our travel,we were only three and I'm the only one being reprimanded that way! Shocking! I was hurt and I cried, because I didn't see it coming and I was totally CLUELESS for all his allegations/accusations and I couldn't even figure out myself doing that, and taking those stupid items seriously. My personality is so bubbly and funny especially when we go out, I never treat those petty and stupid things will be an issue for her. The three points issues she raised doesn't make any SENSE at all. She's like a stupid kid! I find this situation so STUPID to discuss with her and I have no plans of discussing it. My point is, why didn't she called or invite me to a coffee maybe to discuss the matter? We are working in the same company and we're seeing each other Mon-Fri for work. So, after that incident- we never greet each other as if we don't know each other anymore and people around noticed it already. Lately, I was shocked that people knew about it already.Well, I no longer wonder why they knew, because she is the type of person who always seek sympathy and who always see herself being the victim or whatsoever. Furthermore, she always got troubled with almost all employees except a handful few in our office. I was just too optimistic before that I believe that she can be a potential friend despite the rumors going on. Your thoughts here are appreciated!
12 Dec 09
Travelling together is a very severe test to any friendship or relationship. When travel, people are very sensitive and stubborn. It is very likely to hurt others even without realizing that. There can be something they usually neglect in regular days, but in travelling, they feel it a very big deal. Nobody is perfect, if she tells everybody she is the victim, surely that's not good for you, but if you still want to save the friendship, there is still the chance. If you feel she still can be your friend, then just openly say sorry to her and expect her understanding. If you already had one year nice friendship, then she should try to maintain it for a long term. Besides, the best way to build and maintain a sincere and stable friendship is in work and regular life, not just in traveling or partying (personal opinion).
12 Dec 09
I had a friend for 4 and half years. We had simular personalities. We got along so well. I watch him go from married, seperated, divorced/single to getting a new woman. He first told her about me. She wasn't sure about me. It was many months later his new woman and I started talking. I wanted to show her what type of person I am and that I meant no threat to her. All I wanted was for him to be happy with a woman of his choose and for me to be able to have a new friend that I could confide in. But that wasn't going to be the case. When we were chatting, I was allowing her to lead the conversations. She asked me was she good enough for her man. I didn't know her at all, so I had to think about what my friend said about her and answered her question with the way he felt. She was asking me for help of a sensitive nature. I was shocked at all this because the type of person that was discribed to me was a shy natured woman. Well, she wasn't as shy as what I was told. She was more open and out there. It is just a shame her man didn't see it. He would have gone wow this is great. I was suppose to have lunch one day with the couple but had to cancel so that I could take care of my sick husband. Plus I didn't want the other 2 to get sick if I was carrying conjunctivitis virus on me. After that, they deleted me without contacting me and telling me what was wrong. I was so upset when I found out the truth. She was setting me up to fall. She told him that I was only after him for one thing. I was trying to break them up. And that I held a history of conversation from a chat program on my computer. If my friend would only look at the past, he would know that I was not after him for the one thing. We had lunches together and even spent an evening together just the two of us with nothing happening. We would talk about the one thing but would not over step the mark. And really how confident is he about the history of conversation? How does he know if I have or haven't got the history? He has not seen my computer files and what I have on there. He just has no idea. As to breaking them up, I would ask who is more insecure? Her or me? I would say her because of the reason she was unsure of me even well before she met me. She would benefit from destroying the friendship because she would not be jealous of me. Why would I want to break her and him up when all I wanted was to have another friend so that I could go and have lunch with. If anything, she has gained, and I have lost. My friend is the silly one for believing in her lies. I am left heartbroken. My health had suffered greatly ranging from depression, migraines, not eating properly and even boils. As a friend, I looked up to him as some one would their idol. He gave me great confidence when I had little self confidence. When I wanted to speak to my husband without hurting him, it was my friend who I would turn to for the right words. Even though it was him that said nasty words to me, I know that it was all her doing because all I have to do is look at the time before her and I met online. I believe in karma, and the cat will be let out of the bag one day and he is going to be so upset. He will feel like a real idiot knowing that his long time friend did tell him the truth but he didn't believe his friend because he is blinded by love.