why is it so hard to control the rage of jealousy,is it natural or can it b

@kashers (649)
Jamaica
December 12, 2009 5:34pm CST
CONTROLLED,i never tried to figure it out or tried stopping it but i thought i was very much under control cause there are lots of other things that has,no control over me but the other day i was doing so me mylotting so i started to miss my baby so i decided to give her a call,my woman is very real to me cause i am real to her so i know for sure what she is about,she was grown up with alot of respect so i treat her just the same,so when i called i heard in the back ground a male voice,instantly i got cross,so i asked her where r u she said outside of her gate,ok then so who is that i hear in the background,a friend from in the community come by to see her i hanged up the phone no more questions no more talking,so she called and i said i am not in the mood i don't wanna talk and as a matter of fact don't call me back,and that wasn't the first time i did that to her but i don't know whats up with me when i hear or see her with someone that makes her laugh and talk,i don't like seeing that or hearing that,and i know that she is real to me so i know its just my jealous rage getting the better of me sometimes i jump to conclusions about her,saying things that i know i shouldn't have said,and it does hurt her and i can see,but its just the rage that does that,so what i do sometimes i just don't say anything until i am really calm,and that works for know,has anyone ever controlled this passion where it doesn't bother u?do tell
3 responses
• Philippines
13 Dec 09
Being jealous is normal but when it strikes, it feels abnormal. Sometimes jealousy will help you determine the love you have towards your partner but sometimes it will be the reason of breaking up if you deal with it to much and beyond the boundaries. Like me, now I am struggling to understand my boyfriend since he is now having fun with his friends and the level of happiness between his friends and with me is different. When he is with them, he is so lively and enjoying so much. while with me he is not that lively. I sometimes get jealous with the attention he pays to them but I always tell myself that I should understand and let our partners be free and not only limit himself in the relationship. He has the right to enjoy with his friends and for me too be happy with anything as long as it will not danger our relationship. This will also speak for you kash... your girlfriend has her own life even you are lovers. Let her be herself and you also have to mind your own life and be happy.
@kashers (649)
• Jamaica
13 Dec 09
that hurts i don't ever think that i could live with the fact of my woman enjoying her self more with her friends than me,i would have to find some way different from what they are doing for us to b fun also,or maybe the time spent with eachother we have done so much,she wants to spend time with friends,well if thats the case it different,
13 Dec 09
being jealous is normal because it only shows that you love her much.. but not to the point that you posses her so much that you don't want her to laugh and talk to another guys.. trusting in a relationship is very mush needed. i guess put trust more into her. it really works.. freedom in the relationship is very important.
@kashers (649)
• Jamaica
13 Dec 09
so u say that it is normal,so i am gonna have to deal with this rage on the level of acceptance,well the only thing i realized so far is to not say anything until i am totally calm,even when i am not talking with her i am sending some crazy text,might as well i just tell her personally,and thats what i don't want to do,cause i know i am just jealous
@didi13 (2927)
• Romania
23 Jul 12
Jealousy is the first possession. Behind the possession, this need to control, actually lies fear. What really happens is that we become our own worst critic. These are projections. I think you're jealous actually say: you have every right to want something else, are so dull, you confused, do not understand why you have a relationship with me. And usually the answer comes to be: you know what, you're right. thanks that I have opened my eyes. In these cases, some insist so much that creates this feeling of wanting to run away from that relationship, even though there is a desire in this respect before and one feels complete. Jealousy that anger is just another form of distrust in our own forces. Something that should not be. Something that will always affect the couple relationship. Because we assign it to all partners. Jealousy entitled afraid to take on decisions. To cut the root of evil. We can say that can create jealousy as anger, which will cause a serious mark in a negative way. I think that jealousy is one of those emotions that have no place. How can we replace it? With our acceptance with some self-esteem and acceptance that things happen no matter what do we need about it. We can be jealous or not. If a person loves us for who we are, it will be conscious of our faults. Instead, if we assign a person afraid of her defect high probability of cheating we do is to remove that person.