Serious Relationships

First Love - M totally serious about my first love and love her the most in my life.
@aadi_87 (347)
India
December 15, 2009 11:14am CST
Hi friends!! I know I should have made this discussion under the 'relationships' or 'love' topic but I feel its an universal question that everyone has in mind related to serious relationships nowadays.Many of my friends who have been in relationships mostly believe that they are in it just for fun and time pass and aren't too serious about taking their relationships forward(marriage indeed).M myself in a relationship for the past 6 months and we are equally serious about each other as I believe she is the Ms Perfect I had always waited for:).I really want to know is there anyone here in mylot who believes in a serious love relationship and is/was not in it just for fun??According to you what actually is a serious relationship and why many people nowadays are commitment phobic??
15 responses
@vandana7 (57182)
• India
15 Dec 09
Hi Aadi, I am so glad to know you have met somebody you like, and you like her. It is also good to know that you want to take it forward. You've pointed towards others being in it for fun. For starters, people want to know the other person better. But without some relationship, it is not possible to know others better, isn't it? Well, they do take it forward to an extent, and thereafter, both of them know it is not working for them. There are quite a few cases, where people who venture in this, are hurt. I wish they were not, but they are. I think promising a person marriage indicates serious commitment. If the girl is aware that such serious commitment is not forth coming then she is under no obligation to show any excessive trust. Unfortunately, girls tend to trust faster, as it is their age. And things can get sour from there. The guy will, of course, walk away, as it would not work even if he'd tried. So it is for the girl herself to weigh, whether she wants a person who questions her ability to trust. If she is lying to herself, then she deserves what is coming to her.
@aadi_87 (347)
• India
16 Dec 09
Hi Vandana aunt!! Its not like that actually,two people get into a relationship only after knowing each other better and when they feel that the opposite person is the one they want in their life forever,at least that's the thing in my case.M into the relationship only when I started knowing her well and realized that she is the one for me and vice versa,what you are saying is just a mere case of attraction towards someone and after knowing the opposite person is not worth you,then leaving him/her off.Yeah many a time things do change when you are in a relationship but I guess trust and truth is what keeps it going.Finally so you feel that we Men are at fault for the end of relationships and that we aren't affected by the break up as much as the girl is,its not the thing aunt,actually girls move on easily while its more difficult for a guy to overcome his heart break :((this has happened with my friend).
@aadi_87 (347)
• India
16 Dec 09
M too talking about dating and not physical relations,that's way too far for me although many of the people are into relationships just for the sake of that.I care for mine and my girlfriend's parents prestige and we don't want to be involved in things that might affect our families, m just talking about dating and enjoying each others company.I didn't mean to associate serious relationship with physical intimacy,I don't believe in it before marriage.As for the boy-girl thing I knew you meant for both but since you didn't mention it I thought of taking it up as a reason to fight with the fighting aunt of mylot :D.
@vandana7 (57182)
• India
16 Dec 09
Fighting aunt! I object! You know something, that discussion is no longer accessible! It was one of the best that I participated in! Pity you removed that ID. :( Guess even though I am older than you, I am far more broad minded than you are. :) LOL.
• Philippines
16 Dec 09
I'm not yet in a relationship but I am serious about it. someday, I believe that I will be able to be with someone who will take me seriously too. I hate others who treat their relationships like only a game or something.
@aadi_87 (347)
• India
16 Dec 09
Hi Miss Invisible :)!! I hope you get someone who really loves you a lot and keeps you happy forever.Thanks for your response :).
• Philippines
16 Dec 09
I agree with aadi_87, you will soon find the right man whom will love and respect you. There is absolutely no perfect man, but I believe there is someone out there stored for everyone of us... Good luck and be happy invisiblelady!
@aadi_87 (347)
• India
16 Dec 09
Hi lovelyn,well there is one perfect man 'ME' according to my girlfriend [:P] although I know m not :)
• Philippines
16 Dec 09
hola aadi_87 when a couple or lovers will entering a certain replationship they must be serious with it so that love can grow and grow in thier commitment
• Philippines
16 Dec 09
That is absolutely right bunnygurl011285! It is not right to play with others feelings. We don't go boyfriend and girlfriend for display purposes only... It requires affection, love--- serious commitment.
@aadi_87 (347)
• India
16 Dec 09
Hi!! Agreed with both of you and that's what I also meant,thanks for your response :).
@hoodwinks (158)
• United States
15 Dec 09
love is no joke its such a strong passion. I am married with three kids. I have been with my wife for nine years now. we have been married for four years. sometimes we fight and argue but we don't want to leave each other. sometimes to we don't have the same interests but we still love each other. need to have respect to each other respect each others opinions and just be supportive to each other. your love can go a long way, and don't leave late at night with out your girl. she'll start to question what you are doing with out her. that's if you live with her of course.
• Mexico
16 Dec 09
Hi hoodwinks: It's really good to find persons like you that can happily talk about serious relationships. Like you say, sometimes you can fight with your partner, it's obvious, this makes part of the day by day life of a couple but what matters is that you want to be with the person you love. Thanks for your answer. Hope everything keeps going well in your relationship. Have a nice day. -Alvaro.
@aadi_87 (347)
• India
16 Dec 09
Hi!! Yeah that's what I meant to say through my discussion,but there are many youngsters today who think of it just as a thing to show off to your friends that you can have a girlfriend or a boyfriend just like others(I know many of such people).You can't expect the opposite person to be just like you but you still need to respect your partners likes and dislikes.M completely opposite of my girlfriend,she's very organized while m not :) but she still respect for what I am and I do the same(m trying to improve though :) ).I don't live with her :O she knows me very well and doesn't suspect me as she knows m very honest in my relationship with her.
@ebuscat (5949)
• Philippines
16 Dec 09
Serious relationship is the kind a key you want to hold it so that it is your permanent key. Same as to your someone after the mirage it is your key to have a family.
@aadi_87 (347)
• India
16 Dec 09
Hi!! That's quite a metaphoric thought lol but I agree with your point of view.Relationships need to be serious from both ways and not just to pass time,thanks for your response :).
@arystine (1275)
• Philippines
16 Dec 09
Am one of those who believe that relationships are supposed to be serious. It means that when you are in a relationship, it's not all about fun and games. It's about committing yourself to another without suffocating the other person. It's about being each other's best friends. Whenever I enter a relationship, I make sure that it's always serious. I don't believe in playing games 'coz I respect the feelings of the other person too much.
@aadi_87 (347)
• India
16 Dec 09
Hi!! Yeah even I respect my partners feelings and can't think of hurting her emotions as we both are serious about each other and don't want anything that would affect our relationship.Thanks for your response :)
• India
16 Dec 09
Serious Relationship should be there in marriage relationship to feel its Importance otherwise you might know whats going around us is simply untrustable situation on anyone. But yes a limitation should be there to avoid stress from it and Enjoy each other Company. Happy Good Relationship day..!!
@aadi_87 (347)
• India
16 Dec 09
Hi!! Trust is the most important thing when you are in a relationship,when you are in married you ought to be serious as it a life time commitment and if we aren't our wives would make us serious lol.
• Hong Kong
16 Dec 09
Hi aadi_87, I believe every one who enters into a relationship should take it seriously, as it is not a game. It concerns about love, feelings, emotions, trust, respect and responsibities. It does hurt if people just treat it as a game, except when both partners are doing the same. There are people nowadays treating love relationship as a casual game, they don't care about if it is long or short but just have fun during that particular period of time. I should say this is because they do not trust much about love or the partner, or they have not yet found suitable ones. It is true that not every one of us are lucky enough to find a partner that we really love much and beloved. I do have friends got fail in many relationships, even when they were almost getting marry. It was sad. They are still hoping that they could find someone with whom they can marry. Good luck to them. Best wishes, agonyaunt69 (5:03pm 16 Dec 2009, Hong Kong time)
@aadi_87 (347)
• India
16 Dec 09
Hi!! Yeah many of my friends too have gone through heart breaks in spite of being seriously committed to each others,I guess destiny matters too :O.Maybe their relationships weren't destined into marriage so it fallen off.
• Philippines
16 Dec 09
hello aadi_87! I know some people who are not taking their relationships that seriously too. They are like taking their time and enjoying each companionship only... Well that is good but somehow, if you don't have plans of getting into a serious commitment, I think it is a bit unfair to your partner... To let others know that you don't have any plans, worst if you are together for a long time already... is like playing with your partners feeling. Relationship requires commitment... If you can't commit and afraid of commitment then don't go into relationship.
@aadi_87 (347)
• India
16 Dec 09
Hi!! Yeah that's true but if both the partners mutually agree to move on and no longer want to be with each other then its fine.Yeah but if you ain't serious about it and your partner is and still you are continuing with your relationship just for the sake of fun then that's playing with your partner's emotions as ultimately you will decide to move on leaving the partner in lurch who isn't aware of your intentions.
@DenverLC (1146)
• Philippines
16 Dec 09
Relationship is both for fun and serious sometimes. Try to make colors out of both your likes and wants. If we take our relationship so seriously it is boaring and you will easily get fed up with each other. Everyday There must have to be surprises and fun. These will add passion and excitement.
@aadi_87 (347)
• India
16 Dec 09
Hi!! M not associating serious relationship with boredom,serious relationship according to me is to have trust in your partner's feelings and care for her feelings and emotions.Fun is necessary in a relationship as it makes your relationship grow and a relationship can survive only when both the persons enjoy each others company.I guess you are trying to tell about having affairs with others as well along with your current one but I feel that's cheating on your love.
@jen_n514 (218)
• Philippines
16 Dec 09
We all should take relationship seriously. it's a special bond between two people that love each other. If i am in a relationship i see to it that we both are serious and don't have it just for fun. Relationship is something that we should treasure and take it seriously because there is an emotion involve. I invest a lot in a relationship not only with romantic relationship also with friends and family. Relationship for me is so special that i don't take for granted or as u say take it as for fun! I am the type of person that is loyal with my partner and i will do everything just to show him that i truly love him..so i don't want to see people or even friends go to a relationship because they just want it for fun. happy posting!:D
@aadi_87 (347)
• India
16 Dec 09
Hi!! I completely agree with your views,relationship is a bond between two lovers and it must not be taken for granted.Just like you even I don't want to see my friends involved in relationships just for the sake of having fun as ultimately they are taking for granted the opposite person's feelings.Thank you for your response,have a good day :)
• Philippines
16 Dec 09
i'd like to believe that once i am into relationships, i AM SERIOUS about it. it's really hard for me to just play around. when you mature, you start to be serious about things especially in relationships. you start to know each others, the attitudes, habits, character. you got to be interested in her/his family. in short, you take relationship seriously. it doesn't mean though that you are right away marry him/her... it just that it's how it is.
@aadi_87 (347)
• India
16 Dec 09
Hi!! Even I don't associate serious relationship culminating into marriage ultimately (though it must) but I feel that once you are in a relationship you need to respect the opposite person's feelings and not play with his/her emotions.Thanks for your response :).
• Mexico
16 Dec 09
Hi aadi: I agree with you, this is an universal question. Everything tells me that serious relationships exists. In fact every relationship should be a serious relationship because if not we're just playing with human's feelings and that will be never ok. It's not good to be with someone just for fun. If you date someone that means you are a mature person that really love someone that shares the same feeling you express with your words and actions. Thanks for starting this discussion. I know that some people don't take relationships very seriously but this doesn't mean that you can not have a serious relationship these days. Have a nice. Hope everything is fine with your special person. -Alvaro.
@aadi_87 (347)
• India
16 Dec 09
Hi!! Yeah when you are in a relationship you need to give your everything to it and not just be in it for the sake of fun.I agree with you regarding playing with the feelings of the opposite person especially when the opposite person is really serious about you.Yeah everything is fine with my love life and hope it would be forever :).Thanks for your response,m glad you liked the topic :).
@rhyme23 (44)
• Philippines
15 Dec 09
Whenever I get into a relationship, I always ask myself if I really want it or not. Will it be just for fun or will it lead into something serious. And the answer is a constant YES! I always give my all in every relationship I am into. But it takes two to tango. Love isn't enough.. you must be loyal to each other and there must be trust for each other..
@aadi_87 (347)
• India
16 Dec 09
Hi!! Having trust in the opposite person you love is what strengthens a relationship and keeps the bond of love intact.I have no issues with people who are mutually into it just for the sake of experiencing it and for having fun.
• India
15 Dec 09
that is absolute up to you whether or not you want to be in a long term relationship! You have a very limited set of options when you are in a relationship! But relationship is one that will lift you up whenyou are down and will also pinch you at times! This needs to be a sincere one for it to be a long term relationship!
@aadi_87 (347)
• India
16 Dec 09
Hi!! Yeah agreed its upto the individual whether he wants to be in a long relationship or be in it for fun but isn't it wrong to play with the feelings of the opposite person who might be serious about you.Trust is what builds up and strengthens a relationship,thanks for your response :).