Older Women younger men relationship.

@dheckerz (473)
Philippines
December 16, 2009 10:04am CST
Do's and don'ts in a relationship. I'm in a relationship right now to a guy 5years younger than me. This is my first time to have this kind of relationship because i used to have older boyfriends. Right now, i think my guy is being too much of me. I feel fo deprived of the things that i used to do. He always checks my phones and even asks for my account passwords. i've been asking for a break up for so many times now but he doesn't want to let go. I've been explaining my side but i think he doesn't get my point. i need an advice on how to get over him.
6 people like this
17 responses
• Philippines
17 Dec 09
Hi there, my partner is four years younger than me. We have no problem with regards to age. Sometimes it is unavoidable that in a relationship you may encounter problems, but if you are willing to work it it... communication is the best thing to do. You must talk about it, let each side discuss his/her likes and dislikes. Maybe your boyfriend is a little obsess to you or just a a little childish. Let go of those that is killing you, but keep the one that makes you happy.
@dheckerz (473)
• Philippines
17 Dec 09
You made me smile.. wish you both great relationship.. you have a point. thanks a lot.
• Sweden
16 Dec 09
As long as you have "true love" for each other, i guess AGE does not matter. The love and respect you have for each other counts more than the age gap. As to your problem... think that men in general matures late than women. So if you are 5 years older than this guy... think of the mental maturity... that is the difference both of you have that creates the problem. As i can see, he is being childish and insensitive in a way that he neglects your feelings. Sometimes even if you are into relationships, there are always limits as to how far you can go in every situations or aspects in your relationship. Try talking to him... but be sure that you are not angry. Talk to him in a manner that listen and have all his attention... hopefully he gets your point and change his not so good attitude. Then ask him if why he do that, maybe he has also an answer to it. "Give and take" still applies in the law of LOVE! Dont forget that it takes to to TANGO... so maybe in some ways you are just too sensitive towards him.
@dheckerz (473)
• Philippines
17 Dec 09
Thank you for that well said explanation. I really appreciate it, you've covered almost everything and had given me clarifications and great advices. Will surely follow your advice.
@sid556 (31000)
• United States
16 Dec 09
hi dheckerz, I don't think the age difference is really the problem here altho I did look at your profile and I see he is pretty young so it could be a part of it. What would bother me is the checking up on me and all that he is doing. He sounds insecure and lacking in trust. I know you don't want to hurt him or anything but it does sound as if you want your life back and to move on from him. In order to do that, you need to take charge of your own life. If you want to break up with him, he can't stop you unless you let him. Good luck on this.
@dheckerz (473)
• Philippines
17 Dec 09
Hi Sid, yes, you're right that's one thing that i've found out. He is insecure because i have my own job, family, friends while he has the opposite. He is a nice guy that got caught with uncertainties. i broke up with him for several times already but he kept on holding on. He shows up on my pad even if i ignore him.
@syndrix (475)
• Malaysia
16 Dec 09
In my opinion for a relationship or even to a couples(married) age doesn't matter. In your case your age doesn't affect your relationship whether your boyfriend is younger than you or vice versa. I believe there are many people and couples who had same situation like you about the age but don't have any problems. As I can see to your boyfriend he is quite immature and still behaving like a child. Of course being jealous that is how we can express our love to our love-ones but in an appropriate way. In addition, both parties should also have a good understanding to make a relationship last. This is only my opinion, if you feel unhappy to your current boyfriend then the option is always yours. I believe we always have the choices in our life and we have to choose our happiness.
@dheckerz (473)
• Philippines
17 Dec 09
i agree with you..yes, he's immature and i'm trying to let him understand things.Thank you for you advice, i'll try to work it out with him for the last time.
@max1950 (2313)
• United States
16 Dec 09
im just the opposite im 14 years older than her and we've been together for 11 years, never any problems with age, yet, but im turning 60 next year and she's only 44 but i dont see any problems in the immediate future.
@dheckerz (473)
• Philippines
17 Dec 09
i see. i'm happy for you. It's usually ideal if a man leads the relationship.
• Uganda
17 Dec 09
Hi gal dont b less empowerd he has no authority on u and u hv 2 do wat yo heart tells u nat wat he wants u 2 do u hv 2 speak out yo mind in order to please your self not him
• India
17 Dec 09
Dear dheckerz, Don,t be quite upset over your relationship status although it is quite difficult to do that...but still as you are 5 years older than him you can understand his feelings,his needs and most imporatantly you are the only one 1 to judge why he is behaving with you in this manner as you are the only one close to him among the people who are replying to you in this discussion.
@eurekafemme (5881)
• Philippines
17 Dec 09
Breaking up is nit an easy thing to do especially if the other party keeps on holding back. Sometimes having a very young partner has its odd consequence. You tend to become a babysitter rather than having an equally mature partner. If you really want out, then, by all means you can do that. Even if he resented such idea, he can not force you to continue having a relationship with him if you don't want to. If you are living together, just pack your bags and don't say anything anymore. You've told him already your concerns and it did not work.Just leave him and don't dilly dally with it. It'll be hard for both of you at first but you'll be able to get yourself free from him and that stressful relationship. You can give yourself a chance to start anew. Good luck and happy mylotting.:-)
• China
17 Dec 09
I think He really loves you.His various behaviors just are out of the lack of confidence.He has been feeling anxious that you will find a genuine mature man who is richer and more considerate than him.what you need to consider is whether you can accept his expression of love.
@gabs8513 (48712)
• United Kingdom
17 Dec 09
Hi Dheckerz I do not believe it is the age difference and that you are older then him, it is him he is immature and at the sounds of things possessive, you need to make it clear to him that you want the Relationship to end and just do not take any hassle from him I am in a Relationship and my Man is 12 years older then me and we do not live together but there is none of this sort of Behaviour going on You have to tell him to leave I really hope you can get this worked out
@garybao (75)
• China
17 Dec 09
I have no idea. If both of you really fall in love or you still love him. I think you should understand him, because he is 5 years younger than you, maybe he thinks he is a child for you, he should use his own way to love you, or maybe he is afraid of losing you. Anyway if you love him, understand him. I have no this experience like yours. Sorry cant to give you too much help. Have a good day.
• China
17 Dec 09
reading your notes i don't think this guy loves you maybe he just stay with you because of your money. so leave him without any words just leave him. and you change your house your phone number your account passwords and anything he knows about you let him can not find you forever.
@rosey19 (952)
• Philippines
17 Dec 09
I think in a relationship it doesn't matter whether the guy or the woman is younger or older as long as you are compatible, loyal, understanding,and love each other then you will have a very harmonious relationship together. There must be an open communication between you and your partner so that whatever issues can be resolve without resulting into a bigger arguments. If he doesn't listen to your explanation, maybe he is the one doing the wrong thing. That is how guys cover their mistakes they pretend to be the one who is jealous but in the other way around they are the one who is doing bad against you. Just be careful with that kind of a guy. If he continue to do that kind of attitude then set him free. Don't let yourself to be a prisoner of that kind of relationship, you will not be happy by then.
@rsa101 (17104)
• Quezon City, Philippines
17 Dec 09
Well I think you just got an immature boyfriend and I think he needs a lesson on getting matured and a lesson perhaps on trust issues. Well I really think that if you do not feel love in the relationship it is better to end it as soon as possible. I have nothing against this kind of relationship of women older than men thing but if that will cause you to be suffocated in the relationship.
@drannhh (15243)
• United States
17 Dec 09
Welcome to myLot. I do not really think age has anything to do with it, but this guy sounds like bad news. I'd suggest you get ride of him first and then figure out a way to get over him if you are still carrying a torch. It sounds like you are sending him mixed messages and that could turn out to be dangerous. If there is any doubt at all in a relationship it is best to sever it as rapidly as possible and not let it drag on. Life is too precious to waste on someone who is not perfect for you and wome3n should never stay with someone just because the guy is pestering them. Stay safe, and most of all with this relationship, be sure you surround yourself with watchful friends so that the guy knows you are not vulnerable.
• United States
16 Dec 09
What i think he dont love you, he is useing you for money and his luxury, leave that guy,look for a breakup
• United States
16 Dec 09
I'm a man who usually dates older women. This guy younger than you is not right for you, but don't let that destroy your impression of all younger guys. I've never done things like check phones or ask for account passwords. I believe everybody deserves privacy. I know its hard to trust, but when you decide to be in a relationship you should have some faith in the person you chose to be with. You should break up with this guy. However I will say this... guys don't really mature afer we're poddy trained, thats about it, thats all you get, we either have it or we don't. I'm sorry to say that many guys don't have it. Women go through a lot of changes, men don't. Its partly because we don't have to since we conrol the world (I didn't say it was fair). However, it seems society is made for the immaturity of men. What are sports cars except toys for grown men? A lot of men still play video games and do many other things to keep being a child. Men are told to go for younger women. For some reason women get less attractive as they get older, when men are more "distinguished". Who came up with that rule? Men. I don't think it matters who is older or younger in the realtionshiop, communicaion is the key. I say do what makes you happy and I'm sorry I didn't men for this posting to be so long.