Why some peopel have it difficult to appreciate others' quality?

@subha12 (18441)
India
December 16, 2009 11:35pm CST
I have seen with time, there are people with whom you meet most of the day. They are very good friend or whatsoever. They always point out all the things they do not like about you. But they never tell what is good about you.I have tried analyzing this. The most possible reasons I could think of are like they are too jealous to mention your godo qualities or they are never themselves said positive things.
3 people like this
16 responses
@balasri (26537)
• India
17 Dec 09
It is the ego they develop out of their inferiority complex. People who have confidence in themselves always readily appreciate the deeds of others. Only very few people have the habit of appreciating others. When we work under someone we want our superiors to recognize and appreciate us. But we don’t appreciate people who work under us. Appreciation makes a person feel happy and do their work more efficiently. We must always make it a practice to appreciate people working under you when they do a good job. We tend to shout at our close ones whenever they make a mistake but never care to appreciate them. We forget to appreciate our close one’s help when they are alive and we write biographies and send flowers to their graves. We should not delay appreciating then and there.
1 person likes this
@balasri (26537)
• India
17 Dec 09
We are very good at becoming emotional and erecting statues for the people to whom we don't pay the appreciation they deserve and leaving the wife and children in the streets abandoned.
@subha12 (18441)
• India
20 Dec 09
both of you are absolutely right in your comments
@cream97 (29087)
• United States
17 Dec 09
Hi, subha12. I would think the same thing too. Either they are just plain jealous or blinded by your strengths. I know many people like this. They will tell you all the bad things about you but never the good things. And they leave certain good things about you out of the equation. And they just focus on what they want to say to you. It is like they are scared to point out the nice and appealing things. I am glad that I am not scared to tell a person their great qualities. Nor am I jealous either. I love complementing others when I see something that is great about them.
1 person likes this
• India
17 Dec 09
Yes, this is so true and I am sorry to say that my own mother is like that. In all my entire life, I’ve never heard her praise anybody ever…not even her own siblings. She’ll like point out the good things but at the end she just has to say something bad. Otherwise she’s very proud of her own family and always boasting about the achievements of her brothers and sisters but she can never stop at that…she’ll have to add their negative qualities too, have to make them look like horrible people, have to make herself look like the best of the lot and so on. I really don’t know if jealousy is at work … I have not been able to fathom it out but I do feel that she loves to hear her own praise more than anything else and from there stems her need to bad-mouth others, so that she comes out as the best.
@kalav56 (11464)
• India
17 Dec 09
to you sudipta.That was such a n objective statement and assessment which does not come to too many.
@mimpi1911 (25464)
• India
17 Dec 09
Subha, nowadays people are more keen on pulling each other down than to appreciate and imbibing the goods from others. It feels sad. e get nothing out of crab fighting and appreciation makes life so much better. I just wish people instead of doing this try to be peaceful and beautiful.
@subha12 (18441)
• India
20 Dec 09
you are absolutely right
@divkris (1156)
• India
18 Dec 09
I think it is a mater of time. Iin early days people appreciated each other, but now the time is to do self appreciation that no one has time to appreciate anyone's good work or good quality! The only way is to START doing an action. If people like you and me start appreciating others, it will become a trend within our family and friends circle and then slowly spread to other people :)
• India
9 Jan 10
but every one is not good to be appreciating so what if we appreciating only one and what about the other will feel there will be a cold war in there mind's
@jaiho2009 (39142)
• Philippines
17 Dec 09
hello friend, Some people find it very difficult to appreciate the good qualities of other person becoz of few reasons. One reason is ego...egoistic people can't accept the reality that,there are more people out there that are much better and intelligent than they are. Esp if the person better than him/her is a friend...it's hard for them to accept that...they always think that they are better than anyone else. Another reason is...some people are just too proud of themselves that,they can't see the good things from other people. And one more thing is...self made person(having good life than the other) thinks that they can always achieve what they want....and every one around them is a loser. have a good day always friend
@subha12 (18441)
• India
20 Dec 09
yes ego is the main reason.yes they can't see others' good
@winterose (39887)
• Canada
17 Dec 09
if somebody is only going to point out things they don't like about me I stay away from them. I am not interested in this mean spirited people. Yes jealousy is a big reason why people do that, other reasons is they don't see good in anything or that is how they are treated so they treat everyone else like that.
@stephcjh (38473)
• United States
18 Dec 09
I go through the very same thing myself. I have no problem complementing people and telling them how good they look or how special they are or what they do that is so great either. No one ever does that for me accept for one person and we have never met each other. We only speak online.
• India
17 Dec 09
Well i think that's coz' ppl who are close to us, don't really bother to tell how good we are as they think we already know that we have good qualities and they already love and appreciate us for that.
@sid556 (30960)
• United States
17 Dec 09
Hi subha,I know some people like that too. My mother was a lot like that. Some people are just negative....it's their nature for whatever reason. I'm not really sure why they are like that but you can't let them get to you. It could be jealousy or it could be that they never got much positive feedback themselves. I really don't know. I don't understand it. I would not look at a good friend or anyone for that matter and start pointing out negative things unless I really thought it could be helpful to them and then only if they asked my advice.
@mkings (289)
• Germany
18 Dec 09
Whenever someone try to say any bad about me,I listence and at the end I say thanks.Do you why because such people are good critic and the tell at your front than other who will say it at your back the can kill you.So may be jealous others just want the best of you that is why the say other the say some may want to sacre you.
@DenverLC (1143)
• Philippines
17 Dec 09
Yes that is true. Remember one saying? It goes this way.." sometimes people hate the things they see in you because they can see the things they hate in themselves." That would explain the situation, they will only realize your good qualities and importance when your gone but its too late to realize.
@subha12 (18441)
• India
20 Dec 09
i agree to your point
• Indonesia
18 Dec 09
Well I meet these kind of people a lot these days yes. I guess this is because they're lack of self confidence and self esteem that it made them say good thing about themselves that they want other to believe in order to cover up their weaknesses. The best thing to do about this kind of people is, just let them say anything they like. Somehow in the end, we'll see the truth right?
• India
9 Jan 10
first a fall that is a human nature and there are very very less people who can be positive all time and don't think of bad things that happen in there life but only that kind of people can think good of some one else its because every one want to be at the top but they don't care that by doing that who's at top will fall down but they want to be at top and in that case they don't think of any one let it be a friend or any one but its all about human nature.
@kalav56 (11464)
• India
17 Dec 09
Well My opinion is that these people suffer from some sort of complex.It is either too much of superiority or a bit of ineriority within them.This gives rise to a bit of jealousy making them unable to accept another person's good quality.I have also come across people who find it difficult to say a good word about others.How does it harm them ?-this is an unanswered question.When I obeserved two similar people doing this I had this thought [the superiority or inferiority complex ] in my mind.
• United States
17 Dec 09
I think you've nailed it! Even family members can be that way, they want to put you down so they can feel better about them selves. I have made a pact with myself that I'm not going to listen to an critics about me if I know what I'm doing is right. If somebody wants to call me out for something bad I did then we'll deal with that but I'm not going to let people who supposedly care about me try to bring me down. I don't do it to them, why should I let them do it to me?