Is it true that grandparents love their grandchildren more than their own?

Philippines
December 21, 2009 10:06am CST
I am not a grandparent yet but I always hear people say that it is really a different feeling with grandchildren. I always hear people say that they feel a different intense love for their grandchildren than their own children when they were their grandchildren's age (toddlers/kids). They say they could afford to deny or say No to a grandchild's sweet pleas and requests. How true is this? Grandparents can best interact but everyone is welcome to do so, too.
7 people like this
37 responses
@malpoa (1216)
• India
22 Dec 09
Yes, grandparents have unconditional love and they do not expect anything from their grand children. But with their own children it is a diffrent cae all together. They bring up their children with an expectation that they will support them and look after them...
@malpoa (1216)
• India
24 Dec 09
Oh I didnt know that this thing existed outside the south asian countries!! whne I go to my home, my granny is always after me, literally always asking me to eat or drink somehting. Now that she is a grand grand mother, my nephew is fed up of listening to her food requests that he has limited visitng her!!! But I like it when she says so...noone says to me like she does...that is a different love... Nice to meet you dear...
• Philippines
24 Dec 09
Same here, thanks for sharing. Merry Christmas to you and your family!
• Philippines
23 Dec 09
Hi, Malpoa. Our countries are alike in that "expectation" unlike other cultures. Grandparents do not have direct obligation to their grandchildren. They, too, do not expect from their grandchildren. With our culture, it is the parents' responsibility to raise their children until they finish college education and are able to have their own income. It is an implied practice that children support their aging parents as gratitude for raising them. Grandparents have more time for their grandchildren. They love them because they are the children of their own children.
@zahidz (311)
22 Dec 09
its true that grandparents love grandchildren more and its natural i think,grandparents comes in a age where they are weak and get more childish and also they start liking the innocent things done by their grandchildren,its like the doing simple and best thing before the life get end.they find their past in their grandchildren like how they grew their children and grandchildren also remembles to their children so they see their own children in them and feel that time when they were having the kids and but they don't get too angry on the stupid thing they were angry on their own children.so its a very sweet relation and i really feel this very closely.
• Philippines
22 Dec 09
Hi, Zahidz. Very good observation. Grandparents have long been idle and without children to raise. With the arrival of grandchildren, they shift their attention and make idle time enjoyable by spending time with the grandchildren. They tend to spoil the grandchildren and the grandchildren sometimes misconstrue this as grandparents showering them with love more than their parents. Parents have divided attention tending to their kids while grandparents don't. Merry Christmas!
• Philippines
22 Dec 09
Yes, grandparents usually go out of their way just to make grandchildren happy. They read stories to their grandchildren. Grandparents are really doting and affectionate. They show with love as visibly as they can to the grandchildren. Grandparents are quick to grant the grandchildren's requests and wishes. It might be this that made us say that they love their grandchildren more than the grandchildren's parents.
@zahidz (311)
22 Dec 09
yeah actually grandparents loves like someone read in stories.something near to true love in which you hide the mistake of your loved one and own that mistake by yourself and cheer the good things with them and feel so comfort with them and give free and space to tell everything.really amazing relationship. :)
@gabs8513 (48686)
• United Kingdom
21 Dec 09
Well I am not a Grandparent yet either lol but I think what they mean by this is that it is a different Love from their own Children, not that they love the Grandchildren more it is a totally different kind of love and just as intense I have always been told Grandchildren are there to be spoilt lol well that means I will be the same with them as I was with my 2 to a certain extend, they got spoilt but also rectified and are 2 wonderful Adults today
• Philippines
22 Dec 09
Hi, Gabs. I understand what you are saying. Grandparents tend to pamper and spoil them. That is why grandchildren like to be always with grandparents because they always have what they want. Grandparents are just happy to be with the grandchildren because they fill the slower times of their present life with laughter and yells from grandchildren. They always enjoy the fun time with grandchildren. Merry Christmas to you and your family.
1 person likes this
@gabs8513 (48686)
• United Kingdom
22 Dec 09
And a Merry Christmas to you and your Family to
@oyenkai (4394)
• Philippines
22 Dec 09
I don't think grandparents love their grandchildren more than their own children. Although I have witnessed grandparents protect their grandchildren from their own parents because they don't want them punished even though they did terrible things and deserve punishment. I think it's more of the parents going soft as they grow older. They also no longer feel solely responsible for the rearing of the small kids. They are clearly aware that their parents would be the strict guardians so they know that they can dote on their grandchildren without restrictions :)
• Philippines
22 Dec 09
Hi, Oyenkai. Grandparents are said to pamper and spoil their grandparents. Maybe so because as you say, they always shield them from their own parents. They know how it is to be punished and what consequences it brings because they are parents, in the first place. At this time, the grandparents may have looked back over the years of raising their own children, and, in that way, have realized the rights and the wrongs thereof. Grandparents are making up for all that they have inadvertently missed doing to their own children by doting on their grandchildren. Enjoy the season!
• Philippines
22 Dec 09
I should say .... ... pamper their grandchildren.
• Philippines
22 Dec 09
Oops again... First sentence should correctly read as: Grandparents are said to pamper and spoil their GRANDCHILDREN.
@lelin1123 (15595)
• Puerto Rico
21 Dec 09
I have heard this to so many times before becoming a grandparent and guess what its so true. My granddaughter is my precious little one that I treasure everyday. I think it has alot to do with when my kids were younger I had to work and provide and it was always very stressful. Now with my granddaughter life can still be stressed but its a different type of stress and my granddaughter can just talk to me and put a smile on my face. I also think we as grandparents become more relaxed as we get older and have time to sit and play more so with their grandkids.
@lelin1123 (15595)
• Puerto Rico
22 Dec 09
I wish you and your family a Merry Christmas and Happy Healthy New Year.
• Philippines
22 Dec 09
Hi, Lelin. Very rightly so. Grandparents have so much time to enjoy their grandchildren. They can only choose time to care for them unlike as when they were parents themselves that they have to be "hands-on" in looking after them. Grandparents tend to pamper their grandchildren and the latter always have their ways to make grandparents happy. Because of the long absence of children in the household as their own have grown up, grandparents pour their love out on their grandchildren. Season's Greetings to you and your family.
@b4balaji (410)
• India
21 Dec 09
Ya it is true. And there is a big secret behind this. I know about this behavior of grandparents right from my childhood. And I can explain why this happens. Whenever our grandparents see us, they get reminded of our parents childhood days. they will think how good our parents were, and how they have changed now. And in some cases, our parents would sometime ignore their words. But, when we are kids, our grandparents, are the most beloved in our sight, we hear stories from them, we spend our holidays in their house. Our grandparents will think us similar to their child, except that we are now nearer to them, and they are not. So they show more care to us, than they did to our parents.
• Philippines
22 Dec 09
Hi, B4balaji. Yes, our grandparents may be seeing their children in us when they were younger. Grandparents enjoy their grandchildren because they now have the time to do that. Their responsibility to take care of them is now on the grandchildren's parents and not directly done by them. Unlike when they were directly taking care of their children that grandparents get interrupted with chores, etc., they now are happy to have more time for grandchildren. Merry Christmas!
• Indonesia
22 Dec 09
you're right, elder tend to like child, mostly. And it's become something special when they have more who will inherit their family. Usually, when I'm around my grandparents, they always tell story about childhood of my father.. so more or less, they just want their child give more care, and we as grandchild are the one who naturally success in it
• Philippines
22 Dec 09
Yes. Grandparents can very well relate to children. The more so if these are their grandchildren. They must be seeing their own children in their grandchildren. Whatever deficiency and lack of affection they might have for their own children, the grandparents make them up with the grandchildren. So, grandparents tend to spoil them.
@coolcat123 (4387)
• India
31 Dec 09
I think yes, watching my grand mother loving her grandkids feels like they like them more than their own kids. I have many times heard my mom and uncles saying that my mother loves my kids more than us. Thats sad but sweet of them too.
• Philippines
31 Dec 09
Hi Coolcat, Hahaha, don't be sad. You had your own time with your mother. Maybe we can say that they love more our children than us because now, they have more time to be with them. Their life is not very much active like when they were parents. They had busied themselves with work or earning a living or doing household chores while taking care of their children. Now, as grandparents, the main responsibility of raising the grandchildren rests on the parents themselves.
1 person likes this
• United States
7 Jan 10
I think it's true to some extent. I think parents are more strict on their own children because they have the responsibility of teaching them morals and raising them right but all grandparents need to do is love their grandchildren. That's certainly how it is with my grandparents
• Philippines
7 Jan 10
Hi Animegirl334, You are correct. It is the parents' responsibility to teach values and good conduct to their children. In so doing, parents seem strict in teaching their children and disciplining them. The parents are always there from the moment the child was born. They devote their time raising them. Grandparents on the other hand, are only there to love, hug and enjoy being with their grandchildren. Their time are only limited to that "play" time during their visits (some grandparents live with the family in our place though).
@bellis716 (4799)
• United States
22 Dec 09
I love my grandchildren but not more than our children. It is true that grandparents are free to indulge the grandchildren and then, send them home to their parents for correction. In that manner, grandchildren are a lot more fun than children. I know that I brag more about our grandchildren than I did about our 2 children. Maybe that's because we have more than twice as many grandchildren as children.
• Philippines
24 Dec 09
Hi, Bellis. I envy grandparents having their enjoyable experience with their grandchildren. I wish I were one now. It is true, grandparents have more time to enjoy the company of children. When they were parents themselves, their time was more devoted to caring and raising their children. Parents earn a living to raise them and their time for the children is lesser. Grandparents, being in a different and more relaxed lifestyle, are free to indulge and be with their grandchildren.
@joerhonda (476)
• United States
22 Dec 09
I am a six time grandmother with the 7th due any hour now! The feeling for our grandchildren is very different. I believe alot of the reason is that we don't have all the responsibility we had with our children. We are able to relax and enjoy our grandchildren much more. I don't think so much we love our grandchildren more, just more able to enjoy the time we spend with them.
• Philippines
24 Dec 09
Hi, Joerhonda. Wow, congratulations! It will be lovely with 7 angels that you will have. I agree that grandparents have more time to spend for their grandchildren. Unlike when the primary responsibility of raising them were theirs with their own children, with the grandchildren, they don't have any worry about it. They can return them to their parents or leave them with their parents without any worry about caring for them.
• United States
22 Dec 09
I think of this differently now that i became a grandparent 7 months ago. With a grandchild its a free will sorta thing , its just different . You know you are in the childs life to basically enjoy them and guide them. With your own child you was always needing to be everything to meet every need they had 24/7. With grandchild you know his or her parents will be responsible for meeting the basic needs and you can focus on the important things. Love being a grandma
• Philippines
24 Dec 09
Hi, Good2go. I am smiling as I seem to also enjoy your being a grandma. I wish I were one now. True, grandparents are not the ones primarily responsible for the children's needs. They are not the ones doing the tasks all throughout a child's day. Grandparents have all the time to spend for grandchildren because they are now free with their own young. They miss the company of children for a long time so they shower their grandchildren with love and affection.
• Philippines
23 Dec 09
I am not also a grandparent yet but i have observed from my parents that they really love their grandchildren more than they loved us. They are more caring than they are to us. I think thats really true because i have seen other grandparents doing the same.
• Philippines
24 Dec 09
Hi, Triplejazz. You have the same observations as lot of others here. It must be because grandparents have more time for their grandchildren while parents do not. Parents' time is devoted more to earning a living and doing household chores. Grandparents do not have to worry about this. They only spend time to enjoy the grandchildren. They are not there throughout the day to take care of their needs and raise them.
• India
22 Dec 09
ya i also agree with you that all grandparents yet but they always like her grandchildren than their own child.
• Philippines
24 Dec 09
Hi, Sweetbali. Your observations are like other people's observations here. Without having to do with anyone's culture, grandparents are generally fond of their granchildren. Must be because they see their own children in their grandchildren. They have more time now to enjoy children than when the main responsibility of raising them were theirs. Grandchildren's own parents are responsible for them.
• United States
22 Dec 09
I do not think that grandparents love their grandchildren more than their children, but that grandparents are in a different place than parents.As a parent I am directly responsible for my children's day to day world and see all of their behavior. My parents, although they see my children a few times a week, do not have to pay attention to or worry about their grandchildren's behavior. They are not the ones that have had no sleep, because my 2 month old wanted to cry all night, they are the ones that get the visit from the beautiful sleeping baby. Grandparents also tend to be in a different financial place, which gives them more of an opportunity to spoil grandchildren.
• Philippines
24 Dec 09
Hi, Elizabeth. Welcome to myLot! Very well said. You speak in consonance with a lot of other opinions here. Generally, grandparents are there to enjoy the time they have for their grandchildren. Their time is not pressed with being able to take care or worry about their future. They are not the ones sacrificing all for the children's welfare. They are just there for visits and good time.
@suprad1 (251)
• India
22 Dec 09
I feel it is true that grandparents love their grand children more than their own. I have experienced this with my grand parents. It is probably because the children show more affection towards them as the grand parents are the ones who take care when we are very young and give us what we require. Parents tend to restrict their children and the grand parents protect them. Hence there is a special bondage between the aged parents and their grand children. lol..
• Philippines
23 Dec 09
Hi, Suprad. You have good observations there. As a grandchild, you surely felt your grandparents' love for you. Grandchildren tend to get closer to their grandparents because grandparents tend to pamper them. Tthey tend to protect them from parents' reprimands, too. Grandparents tend to be more lenient to the grandchildren than their own parents.
• India
22 Dec 09
It is not true that grandparents love their grandchildren than their children. It is only that as parents you tied up with all responsibilities alongwith bringing up the children but as grandparents they are enjoy all the activities of the child as they are free in their retired life and are not tied up with all the duties of their grandchild. So they take more pleasure in playing and also pampering the child. It may look as if they are more inclined to their grandchildren to an onlooker. But in reality it is not so. I can vouch for this as a grandparent. Happy mylotting.
• Philippines
23 Dec 09
Hi, Bewitched. It is true that at the time they were parents, grandparents were tied up with household chores or earning a living for the family. Their time for fun and play with their children were limited to whatever extra time they had as parents. Becoming grandparents, they have more time to enjoy and have fun with the grandchildren. They need not worry of chores or earning a living for the grandchildren as this is no longer their responsibility.
@checkmail (2039)
• India
22 Dec 09
Hello moneymaking today this is checkmail and me too am missing mine grandparent very much can't define it.Yeah mine grandparents were mine fav persons in my life.Both used to have close realationship with me, share everything with me.Actually think its the good feeling about the grandchildrens that they are the infants of their own son and daughters.Well me too enjoyed a lot within the company of mine grandparents, used to play with them share every secret, pro, knowledge with them, and think they to did.Even they were like mine teachers to me, as got lots of knowledge from them, than mine parent did gave me.I love mine grandpaents and miss them very very much.
• Philippines
23 Dec 09
Hi, Checkmail. You may call me MMT for short. We surely miss the good memories with had with our grandparents. True, they love their grandchildren because they are offsprings of their own children. They are a part of their children. Moments spent with the grandchildren are surely memorable because these are the times that they enjoy each other. Grandparents have more time for them because they need not worry of work or earning a living or doing household chores for the grandchildren as these are done by the grandchildren's parents.
@yogambal_64 (1014)
• India
22 Dec 09
Yes I feel that grandparents love their grandchildren more, but it does not mean that their love towards their own children have become less. They love grandchildren more because they are our children whom they have loved and will love all along their life and are so happy to see that we have gifted them with children.
• Philippines
23 Dec 09
Hi, Yogambal. Grandparents love them both, of course. We always say they love more their grandchildren because of the fondness and the time that they spend with the grandchildren. The grandparents are now less active in their lifestyle, maybe retired from work, and therefore, have all the time to be with the children than their own parents. Grandchildren are loved because they are part of the grandparents' children.
@onida143 (117)
• India
22 Dec 09
yes really nice topic which made me to rememeber my grandmother but it's fact that they love more becoz i am the example where they should me more love than on thier children i:e on my mother
• Philippines
23 Dec 09
Hi, Onida. Thanks for appreciating the topic. We always remember them because we have created a unique bond with them. Grandparents have more time for their grandchildren. They do anything to please their grandchildren. They are there to offer them advices, too.
@shaqib (4)
• India
22 Dec 09
yes it is true that grandparents love their grandchildren more than their one. its natural that comes when they are on that age,as there is saying that as you grow older you become childish.When they are older they are free and wants to spend their life with the kide and they also become kids with them.
• Philippines
23 Dec 09
Hi, Shaqib. Welcome to myLot! True, at their age, grandparents have more time for children. They enjoy their grandchildren because their own children are grown up. They see their own children in the grandchildren. As parents, they were occupied rearing their own children unlike this time that they become grandparents.