Kids and Shopping...

@twoey68 (13662)
United States
December 22, 2009 7:09pm CST
Ok, we’ve all been in the situation where we’ve been in a store and have either had a kid throwing a tantrum or have witnessed a tantrum. Most times I side with the parents b/c I know that it can be difficult to shop with kids especially during the holidays. The other day I had to side with the kid. My Mom and I are in Walmarts. Now our Walmarts is laid out so that when you come in the doors the toy section is all the way over on the left side of the store and the groceries are all on the right side of the store. Clothes are in the center and crafts, electronics and outdoor supplies are in the back. This woman gets in the checkout line behind us. She’s got a little girl with her that is about 4 years old. The little girl is holding this big Barbie set. She’s obviously been hauling it through the store with her. She starts telling her mom that she’s gonna get Barbie…her mom says no. The mom keeps telling her to put it down, the little girl keeps insisting she’s going to get it. Finally the mom tells her she has to give it to the checker so she can ring it up…then she looks at the checker and shakes her head no. The little girl hands it over thinking the checker is going to scan it and instead the checker slides it under the counter. The little girl starts sobbing and begging for the doll. Now all the woman’s items on the counter are food. Which means that she had to take the kid all the way over to the toy section of the store!! Why would any parent do that if they didn’t intend to let them have the toy? Also why let the kid haul it through the store thinking they are going to get it and then say no at the checkout? I also didn’t like that the mom got the checker to help her trick the kid into giving up the toy. As we were walking to the car we could hear this little girl wailing from 3 rows away at the top of her lungs. Would you purposely take a kid to a toy section of a store if you weren’t going to buy them a toy? Do you take small children shopping during the holidays or do you think it’s better to leave them home or with a sitter? What’s the worst tantrum you’ve ever seen in a store? [b]**AT PEACE WITHIN** ~~STAND STRONG IN YOUR BELIEFS~~[/b]
7 people like this
35 responses
@Hatley (154783)
• Garden Grove, California
23 Dec 09
hi twoey thumbs down on that mom why indeed let the child think she could have and then trick her, thats ugly and trick psychology and it does not work on little kids who trust their moms,then mom does that. mom deserves a paddling on her deceitful butt. tell your child no if you mean no, do not trick or decieve,thats the way small kids become criminals in later life as they learn people can not be trusted. I never took our son shopping to a toy store unless it was to buy him something. its so wrong to trick and deceive little ones. Usually at Christmas I left my two with my mom as they were both very young.now my son is an Adult of fifty. he he. the worst tantrum I ever saw in the store was an adult woman maybe fifty or so who held up our line of ten people while she cussed the checker, and made her go over and over the bill, and take out this and put back that,she did everthing but lie down and kick up her heels. she screamed at the checker then at the manager, then broke down into tears when her husband came along and took her out of the store. I never knew what her problem was but she sure made an unholy scene, worse than any child
@twoey68 (13662)
• United States
26 Dec 09
She must have had some mental issues b/c at that age she had to know better. However, I will say that Hubby's ex-wife (from what I've been told) used to do the same thing...she'd purposely pick fights with checkers and managers in stores, yelling and screaming, until she got what she wanted. Maybe it's a learned behavior. [b]~~AT PEACE WITHIN~~ **STANDING STRONG IN MY BELIEFS**[/b]
@GardenGerty (88853)
• Marion, Kansas
23 Dec 09
Like you, I would wonder about the whole situation. I also have been in a Barbie tantrum Maelstrom, but I did not start it. My great niece lived with me. We were in Sam's Club, which does not really have a separate toy section at Christmas time.There are all kinds of things all over the place. My great niece ran away, basically, and got a $40 Barbie, to "show" me. I told her it was pretty, but we were not buying it. She tried to damage the box so we would have to get it. I took it away, and although she was seven years old or so, I carried her kicking and screaming out of the store and let hubby finish shopping. She sat in the car and screamed for a half hour. I stood outside of it so I did not have to listen. She actually has a diagnosed behavior disorder. Things like this were normal for her.
1 person likes this
@twoey68 (13662)
• United States
26 Dec 09
I don't think I could handle a child like that even if it was a disorder. I think I'd hire a sitter or find a family member that could watch her. Even if it's normal it must be emotionally hard on her. [b]~~AT PEACE WITHIN~~ **STANDING STRONG IN MY BELIEFS**[/b]
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (88853)
• Marion, Kansas
26 Dec 09
Oh, I got to where I did not take her anywhere. I promised her that night that I would never buy her a Barbie, so get over it. I made her mom come back and take care of her, because it became too much for me to handle. She does not even attend public school anymore, but rather goes to an online charter school.
@ravinskye (8245)
• United States
23 Dec 09
wow that is sad. I would never do that. Our walmart is laid out different too. our toy section used to be in the back but now it is on the right side in the middle. My kids always knew that they could look but not buy, so we usually were able to go through and look at things. (helped me get ideas for birthdays and christmas) When I thought they might be grumpy and fuss for something in the store we would skip the toy section. I can't believe that woman let that poor girl carry it through the store. She probably did it because it would keep her quiet while her mom shopped. I've let the kids play with something little sometimes to keep them happy but I would either sneak it away when they weren't looking and they wouldn't miss it or I would just get it for them.
1 person likes this
@lilybug (21182)
• United States
23 Dec 09
I do the same with my kids sometimes. I let them wander the toy aisle looking at toys to get an idea of what toys really catch their eye for future gifts. Most of the time when I have them with me I avoid that whole side of the store like the plague; especially if I don't have time to spend 30 minutes looking at toys with them.
1 person likes this
@twoey68 (13662)
• United States
26 Dec 09
We were taught the same thing...we could look but not buy. I think some parents just don't take the time to teach their kids that. [b]~~AT PEACE WITHIN~~ **STANDING STRONG IN MY BELIEFS**[/b]
• United States
23 Dec 09
the way that kid demands that might be the only way to get it away from her. she might be habitual.no it's not nice,but perhaps it was easier for the mom. i would have left her with grandma instead-i usually want to get in and out of stores,better not to go with a "gimmie" child. worst i'd seen is probably a child when told no,tore a package open so the parent then had to pay for it.and told the parent as much,just like that.if that were me,i would have gotten my butt beat.
1 person likes this
@twoey68 (13662)
• United States
26 Dec 09
That was my thought...why not leave her with grandma or a sitter. It's Christmas and parents know that stores are in full "buy me" stage aimed at kids so why take them to the store and then have to deal with tantrums. [b]~~AT PEACE WITHIN~~ **STANDING STRONG IN MY BELIEFS**[/b]
1 person likes this
• United States
27 Dec 09
that's one reason my dad used to stick the shopping cart in the middle of the aisle. so we couldn't grab anything if we behaved,we got something small anyway,but throwing a fit was guaranteed of getting squat.
@dragon54u (31293)
• United States
23 Dec 09
By the way, I do NOT agree with taking kids on shopping trips if they are under 8 years old!! I've seen too many kids tired, hungry or over stimulated due to mom's needs. I've offered and been taken up on offers to keep kids entertained while moms shopped and the kids were often exhausted from a day of shopping, missed breakfast and lunch, etc. I've bought them meals from in-store McDonalds and the moms remarked how calm they were--believe me, I told them it was their fault!! Most accepted the education gratefully, they didn't know from their own moms why the kids were "misbehaving". I really thing parents should be licensed, with a mandatory parenting course in junior high school. Those who fail should have birth control implanted till they pass the course.
1 person likes this
@twoey68 (13662)
• United States
26 Dec 09
I think small kids can go to a store if their taught the right way to behave. I've taken 3-4 year olds to the store and they do fine. I've also taken a 16 year old that threw himself on the floor, kicking and screaming, over a purple pen. I bought the pen at $6.00, returned it later and he was not allowed to go to a store with me for like 3 months...he never did it again either. [b]~~AT PEACE WITHIN~~ **STANDING STRONG IN MY BELIEFS**[/b]
@crazynurse (7510)
• United States
23 Dec 09
Oh my goodness what a poor parenting technique! This little girl is going to have issues trusting her Mother in years to come and the mother is the cause! Why not bring a special toy from home (keep one put back that the child seldom sees) to entertain the child in the store while the parent shops? Why lead a child to believe that they are getting a new toy when they are not going to get the toy? So very, very cruel. As for tantrums while in the store, I have seen some doozys! When a child is pitching one (NOT like the situation you described where the child has been fooled, but when a child just sees something and begins to kick and scream and demand the item) I think the parent should ignore the tantrum rather than give in and get the item...thus reinforcing the behavior!
1 person likes this
@twoey68 (13662)
• United States
26 Dec 09
I've had a 16 year old that threw himself on the floor, kicking and screaming, over a purple pen. I bought the pen at $6.00, returned it later and he was not allowed to go to a store with me for like 3 months...he never did it again either. [b]~~AT PEACE WITHIN~~ **STANDING STRONG IN MY BELIEFS**[/b]
@mands61123 (2099)
23 Dec 09
She probably gave it her to shut her up and decided that as she was leaving the store she could stand the tantrum. But i agree with you it does seem unfair to let her have it all that time why not just take it away right at the start and explain that she couldn't have it cos santa might already have one in his sleigh and that would mean she had two and another little girl would miss out. It could have been left in the wrong section by another shopper meaning that she didn't take her to the toy part but quite often these days i see parents and wonder how they passed the test to be responsible for a child! seriously you should have to pass a test or get a permit or something there are people near me who seem to think the kids are just accessories and not actual human beings and then I meet people who can't have them but would be damn good parents the mind boggles!
23 Dec 09
Oh forgot to tell you the worst tantrum i've ever seen in a store at the till was my boyfriends nephew he got told he couldn't have sweets and threw himself on the floor had a tantrum screaming top note and kicking out at his mum. She just carried on unloading the shopping and ignored him i had no clue what to do it was very embarressing he was about 6 so should have known better really. I wanted to just go and deal with him but i hadn't been with my boyfriend long and i didn't feel it was appropriate so I kind of just left her to it. The next time he came out with me I did warn him that if he ever did anything like that with me i'd leave him there and he'd have to walk home alone. He seemed to get the message but then again I never really had any issues he tried at first to toe the line got told no chance and seemed to settle down. I guess kids are always naughtier for their parents and i don't have any so maybe it's different with your own. Got enough nephews and nieces to keep me occupied though lol
• Canada
23 Dec 09
That is a very cruel trick to play on a child, and something that will probably give the child trust issues, especaily with the parent. The mother probably did that to shut her up during the trip for "appearances" but I think it was totally WRONG of her to do that. My mother has hauled us out of stores (when we were tots LOL) and just canceled the shopping trip, and it was becaouse of our behaviour that we dind't get grocceries that day. We learned pretty quickly to behave, by simple consequences like that.
1 person likes this
@twoey68 (13662)
• United States
23 Dec 09
I've had to deal with tantrums in the past and just stopped taking that child to the store they got the message that if they wanted to go, they had to behave. [b]**AT PEACE WITHIN** ~~STAND STRONG IN YOUR BELIEFS~~[/b]
1 person likes this
@paula27661 (15900)
• Australia
25 Dec 09
Sometimes it is easier to buy them a small treat just so you can shop in peace, but having said that I don’t mean an expensive toy! My daughter is now eight so she is more understanding of the fact that she cannot always have something every time we go to the store. When she was younger I would avoid going through the toy section so we wouldn’t have to fight! I certainly would not let her hang on to something we weren’t going to buy! I’ve seen many tantrums and my daughter has been guilty of some when she was younger. I agree that the woman you encountered should have taken the Barbie away and explained to the child that she could not have it...
1 person likes this
@TheCatLady (4696)
• Israel
24 Dec 09
What is she teaching the kid by doing that? Moms a liar. Let's just hope the kid has someone stable in her life. Poor kid.
1 person likes this
@SomeCowgirl (32273)
• United States
23 Dec 09
I think that the woman was wrong to put the cashier on the spot like that. I've been put on the spot like that before, and it always made me feel sort of uncomfortable, I felt sorry for the kids too! I can understand needing to do some shopping, but if you've got toy shopping to be done it's best to wait until your alone!
1 person likes this
• China
23 Dec 09
there is only one child on our family that's my sister's son and he always like shopping and no matter what interested him he will ask us to buy one for him. and as he gradually grow up he may choose some expensive and good things already. so i really afraid to carry him to shop.
1 person likes this
@Thoroughrob (11771)
• United States
23 Dec 09
I have to agree, that was so wrong. I think some of them do that just to keep them quiet while they are shopping. She should not have let her think she was buying it and then have the checker to keep it.
1 person likes this
@dragon54u (31293)
• United States
23 Dec 09
What a cruel and cowardly mom! I always told my sons that anything that is in a store has to be paid for, whether it is one grape or a toy. We would sample the grapes and even if we didn't buy any I would tell the cashier for the sake of my sons' hearing it. When my answer was no, it was NO! I would tell them the reason and if they made a fuss we would leave the cart with our apologies and go home. They quickly learned the etiquette of shopping and why they couldn't have what they wanted. I would tell them things that I wanted but couldn't buy and that made them understand that wanting isn't the same as having the money to get something. Parents these days seem to take the easy way out. I know my kids hated me sometimes, just like I thought I hated my own parents, but these are lessons that we have to learn. By denying them these hard truths, we are denying our children lessons that help them cope with life. That mom you cited took the easy way out and now her child mistrusts her own mother.
1 person likes this
• United States
23 Dec 09
I often wonder what those parents are thinking how in the world can you do Christmas shopping when the kids are with you? that is a disaster just waiting to happen
• United States
23 Dec 09
oh wait she was grocery shopping? how did the kid get the doll? and why did she let the kid hold onto it if she did NOT intend to buy it? that woman is just a moron!
@DavidReedy (2411)
• United States
4 Jan 10
I've seen a lot of screwed up things working in retail. I've seeing demon children, and I've seen people who never should've been parents, and combinations of the two. dr...
@saundyl (9698)
• Canada
1 Jan 10
I have in the past taken my younger sister to the toy section with the stipulation that its "just to look" I wouldnt let her take a toy out of the toy section and carry it around if i didnt intend to buy it for her though! What the lady did seems rather sneaky and probably really broke the little girls heart. I'd side with the little girl on that one. I think that shopping with kids is hard to do...and if you can leave them home or with someone else one should. It keeps surprises better and more fun too! Worst tantrum ive seen was actually my cousins son whom my aunt raised - hes incredibly spoiled and he went with us for some reason to the store and my mom told him she was picking up fruit and that was it no looking at the toy section or anything else and if we couldnt accept that we could wait in the car. he agreed then when we got in the store (he was 12 at the time) proceeded to throw himself on the floor and scream and kick and yell about not getting to go look at the electronics. My mom turned around took us allback to the car and left us there. she didnt say a word she kinda dragged him by the hand and gave him the scary aunt look. (she has a super scary mad look that made us ALL behave as kids)
@ANTIQUELADY (36491)
• United States
25 Dec 09
U are absolutely right about everything u said. The child should not have been taken to the toy section to start with if the mother wasn't going to buy her anything. Of course she should have been made to leave the toy where it went. If i had been that checker i would not have appreciated the mother putting me in that position, that was very mean to the child & the checker. In myopinion she is a very bad mother.
@celticeagle (113022)
• Boise, Idaho
24 Dec 09
You make perfect sense. We usually go when my grandson is in school. If we have money and he has been good we take him and let him chose a toy. We would never be so cruel as to let him look and chose a toy and then not let him get it. Ofcourse I have had several to learn from. Maybe this mother didn't. Or didn't care. I don't recall any bad tantrums except for my grandson when he didn't get a toy because we didn't have the money. It was excrusiating for all of us!
@dawnald (84129)
• Shingle Springs, California
24 Dec 09
Way to go mom. Lesson number one in teaching your children that you can't be trusted. She should have just told her no back in the toy section and put it right back on the shelf if she had no intention of buying it. She's going to have a lot of trouble with that girl when she gets older. I haven't seen any bad tantrums lately. I was at Macy's a couple of days ago and there was a woman with two small children ahead of me. One was in a stroller but the other was loose. She kept running off and the mom kept hauling her back. The girl finally ran so far off that the mom went after her and then she went to the end of the line. We all told her she didn't have to do that. If she had stood in that line all over again, she would never have gotten out of the store. The little girl was maybe 3 or 4 and just really, really active. PS Dearra says the mom should put her on a leash.