Do relatives make you feel guilty at Christmas?

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Do you feel guilt-tripped or manipulated into celebrating christmas someone else's way instead of the way you'd like to? I'll put my situation out as an example. When my 3 siblings and I were growing up our Christmas tradition was that we opened presents at home Christmas morning and then travelled about an hour away to spend the rest of the day at my maternal grandparents', which included my unmarried aunt, a teacher who spent her Christmas vacation there. Having no children of her own she was very extravagant with gifts, not so much in price as just the amount of them; that combined with what we got from our grandparents was always more than we got from our parents. The first time I remember NOT going to my grandparents' on Christmas Day, I was a senior in high school and had to work that day and they were convinced to come to our house instead. I think my mother was very surprised as she had told me they'd never agree to it. Meanwhile, we would get together with my dad's side of the family in a way that wouldn't conflict with our standing arrangement. Well, that was 30 years ago. My mom died 25 years ago and my dad is in a nursing home. I haven't had that much contact with my dad for 20 years, which is a topic for another discussion. My grandparents are gone, my aunt is married (no kids) and retired. And yes, the four of us and all spouses, children, and a grandchild are still expected to go to my aunt's on Christmas Day. Her 95-year-old mother-in-law, my dad in a nursing home, and all other inlaws and extended family can go jump in a lake as far as she's concerned. She goes on about how important it is for us ALL to be there, and I'm not saying that it's unimportant. But that means every year 5 OTHER families aren't ALL together. And couldn't it be just as meaningful if we all got together on another day? Or if we took turns hosting so the same people didn't have to spend hours on the road every year? Well, I'd be satisfied if she just stopped the zero-tolerance attitude. It seems as though there is no good excuse for not going--weather, transportations issues, finances, being scheduled to work that day. Claims of illness are met with suspiscion. For heavens sake, she's actually arguing with me this year about it being "our" (not MY) turn to have my son this year, and not my ex-husband's! Bottom line, for me, though, is that I'm almost 50 years old and old enough to make my own holiday plans, and not be treated like the Grinch who stole someone else's Christmas.