Friends think my ex has had a Nervous Breakdown and Suffers from Borderline Pers

@jennybianca (12918)
Australia
December 25, 2009 9:07pm CST
Borderline Personality Disorder. As some of my friends from My Lot know, I separated from my ex about 8 weeeks ago now. His behaviour is becoming more and more eratic. Today, close friends of both of us visited me. They were incredibly supportive. My friend is an experience mental health nurse. She believes my ex has had a nervous breakdown, and probably did so a while back, and that he also has borderline personality disorder. I think she is probably right. One of the many things my ex has been claiming, is that I was stalking him, by driving around in my car following him from shopping centre to shopping centre, and that I finally lost him at Arndale shopping Centre. This is madness. I live a long way from Arndale. I don't have the time or inclination or petrol to be driving around between various shopping centres in peak hour traffic. This is one of the many "insane" things he has been saying about me. Im going to have to tell my lawyer about this, as he becomng so irrational, that I think even mediation is not going to work.
10 responses
@cerebellum (3871)
• United States
26 Dec 09
It does sound like your ex has mental problems. Your friend that is a nurse should know if he has a personality disorder. I'm sure she sees a lot of people with mental problems. I hope he never is abusive with you. If he has been or you think he might be you should get a restraining order against him. Do they have them in your country? Yes, you should tell your lawyer. The sooner you are thru with him the better it seems.
@jennybianca (12918)
• Australia
26 Dec 09
He has been abusive with me and on one occassion the police came. I probabl;y dont have enough evidence to get a restraining order yet, although he wouldnt need to do much more before it becomes applicable. I suspect his mental state will do him more damage than myself.
• United States
26 Dec 09
Try and report the abuse to someone of authority, maybe your lawyer or the police, so if he does anything else they have a record of it. It sounds like he should be put away in a mental facility. I hope you are right and his mental state will do him in first.
1 person likes this
@Thoroughrob (11771)
• United States
5 Jan 10
I hope that if he does, he gets help. Let them deal with him and help him. You have taken enough from him.
1 person likes this
@jennybianca (12918)
• Australia
11 Jan 10
He wont get help. Lots of people with personality disorders dont believe anything is wrong with them, so they get worse and worse.
• United States
30 Dec 09
I'm sorry to hear that. Although I'm young and really don't understnad what that means, I'm still supporting you. I'm sorry that you lost your husband. It's weird how ex's act when you or them leave. They will do anything to get their revenge!
1 person likes this
@jennybianca (12918)
• Australia
2 Jan 10
Yes, revenge is how he thinks. He was like that with his first ex, and with a sister.
@stephcjh (32385)
• United States
29 Dec 09
Wow. I hate to hear that. It does sound like he has some kind of problem for sure if what he is saying about you doing, is not even true. I think he needs to be evaluated also.
1 person likes this
@jennybianca (12918)
• Australia
2 Jan 10
But I will never be able to force him to be evaluated unfortunately.
• United States
27 Dec 09
hmm..he seems a bit too organized in his snipes to be a full out breakdown.. but i'd definately agree with borderline.he's got some serious rage going on.
1 person likes this
@jennybianca (12918)
• Australia
2 Jan 10
Yes, you may be right. I was thinking that at first he was "thinking" more than one would with a breakdown. However, he has deteriorated lately & refuses to acknowledge or pick up in the Wii he wanted.
@GardenGerty (88662)
• Marion, Kansas
26 Dec 09
Even if he has had a nervous breakdown, or especially if he has that or Borderline Personality Disorder, you need to keep away from him. Your lawyer will give you the best advice. He also sounds schizophrenic to me, but I am not a health professional.I hope you stay safe, and get disentangled from him soon.
@lyzabelle (1669)
• Philippines
26 Dec 09
Maybe it's about time your ex needs to see a doctor or specialist surgeon about his mental condition.If he started to act in erratic manner then he might become physically abusive to anyone around him. Good thing you were out of his life sooner.
@jennybianca (12918)
• Australia
27 Dec 09
He refduses to see a Doctor, let alone a specialist, although he badly needs to. Very often people with his condition, wont acnowldge that anything is wrong with them, and get no treatment unless they break the law. Im thinking of writing to one of his sisters who may encourage him to get help.
• United States
26 Dec 09
I think you would be wise to inform your lawyer of his behaviour. Just a long as he does not indicate any behaviour that could show any potential danger to you or your daughter. Then I would be more worried than just with his irrational ravings.
1 person likes this
@jennybianca (12918)
• Australia
27 Dec 09
On the previous Sunday when he came with his family to pick up his belongings, he did in fact do that aggressive, standing close, threatening posture with me. As the police will be present at any other "pick ups", I feel safe in that regard. I suspect he is more likely to hurt himself, but he is so unpredictable that I cant be certain about anything.
@thea09 (18329)
• Greece
26 Dec 09
Hi Jenny, isn't there anyway of reporting this to his superiors at work as in his line this could be quite dangerous to the public I would think. Maybe your friend could say something as if you do you'll just look like the vindictive ex. Or maybe you have a mutual friend who works with him. As for you I'd keep as much distance from him as you can, he's certainly not sounding rational. Probably one of his family members will notice some of the odd things he's coming out with. Is mediation compulsory there in getting a divorce?
1 person likes this
@jennybianca (12918)
• Australia
27 Dec 09
I couldnt report anything to his superiors for the reason you suggested, it sounding like a vindicdtive ex. My friend wont involve himself that extent by reporting it. What Im hoping, is that his collegues will notice instablity. As he works in an office there are a number of other people and they are bound to eventually notice things arte wrong with him. His family are generally in complete denial, however one sister is reasonable & Im seriously thinking of writing to her. I will definitel;y be telling my lawyer.
@lelin1123 (15645)
• Puerto Rico
26 Dec 09
Please be extra careful and make sure you keep account of everything you do. You should also maybe have a close friend be aware of everything you are doing at all times,like a witness for your protection. There are to many cases like this where the ex goes crazy and then comes back to do harm or even kill. So please be careful and make sure the locks on your house have been changed and that everything is locked and secure once you are in for the night. I will be praying for your safety.
1 person likes this
@jennybianca (12918)
• Australia
26 Dec 09
I changed the locks not long after he left about 8 weeks ago. Its impossible to predict how he is thinking, so yes, I am being very careful.